A/N: As answer to a review, no, it's not sadstuck (:
John returns to Dave's house still with tears in his eyes. Dave is taken aback by shock when he opens the door to let his best friend in. He knows that something happened between the human and the troll, Terezi messaged him a little earlier saying that Karkat seemed upset and that John had slept outside of Karkat's hive. Dave, however, hadn't slept a minute in the whole night. He had been up waiting for John to return, and when the boy didn't, well the coolkid was just too worried to even being able to imagine sleeping.
"What did Karkat say?" Dave asks. He knows that it might be the wrong thing to ask, because if John's sad there's no one else than Karkat who can have caused it. Unless he met someone on his way back to Dave's, but that doesn't seem very likely considering it's still quite early in the morning.
John looks up into Dave's eyes, or well, into his shades. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down a little, he says, "He hates me and wants to never see me again."
Dave's eyes widen in shock (which isn't visible to John), he then hugs the other boy. He doesn't hug his friend much normally, but John seems to really need the comfort now. Dave doesn't understand this. Even though Karkat always seemed pissed off at John, neither of the boys have guessed that it was out of hatred. Karkat has said that he hates Dave, and he's much meaner to Dave than to John. Though that doesn't exactly mean all that much since he's always angry and insults everyone all the time. The coolkid doesn't know what he could possibly say to comfort his friend. This is an entirely new situation. He is used to being told by the angry troll that he hates him, and he has never taken it personally or gotten very hurt by it. The only thing that hurts, really, is that he knows that Karkat won't ever love him back. Though Dave isn't sure if he will still love the troll after what he did to John.
"Did he really mean it?" Dave questions. "You know, he always says that he hates people."
"I'm sure he meant it", John sobs. "Can I... can I just take my things and go home? I'd like to be alone for a while."
"Dude you sound like you're going through a breakup", Dave says. "You can just take my room, I won't bother you until you're ready. So no need to go home, unless you want your dad to bake a cake for you to make you feel better?"
"Oh, uh, thanks..." John says. He doesn't need to say more before Dave leads him to his bedroom. John lays down in the bed, buries his face in the pillow, and starts crying his eyes out again. He can't believe it, he just can't. Karkat hates him. But he loves Karkat! Wait... what...?
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TG: hey karkat what did you say to john
CG: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE MESSAGING ME
CG: FIRST TEREZI AND NOW YOU
CG: DOES ASKING TO BE LEFT ALONE HAS A FUCKING HIDDEN MEANING LIKE
CG: HEY EVERYONE WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME?
TG: no it deosnt
TG: john just came here and hes fucking crying
TG: whatever you said its not okay to do that to my best bro
CG: FUCK
CG: JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
TG: you will apologize to john
CG: I'M FUCKING LOGGING OFF NOW
TG: no youre not
TG: unless it is to man-up and come over here to apologize
TG: everyone knows that you dont hate john
TG: maybe you even love him
TG: terezi kinda implied that
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
turntechGodhead [TG] begun pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
TG: i think you were right
TG: he logged off after i said that he maybe loves john
GC: D1D YOU DOUBT 1N MY CONCLUS1ON DAVE?
TG: yes
TG: how would i have known you werent trolling me
GC: W3 N33D TO DO SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT TH1S
TG: john doesnt love karkat
TG: not that way only platonically i guess
GC: NO 1 TH1NK H3 JUST H4SN'T R34AL1Z3D TH4T H3 1S FLUSH3D FOR K4RKL3S
GC: W3 N33D TO H3LP H1M R34L1ZE
TG: how
GC: L34V3 1T TO M3
TG: okay
TG: that was easy just dont mess up i dont want john to be even more hurt
GC: YOU'R3 NO FUN :(
GC: YOU W3R3 M34NT TO PROT3ST 4ND S4Y TH4T YOU W1LL T4K3 P4RT 1N TH3 M1SS1ON 4NYW4Y
TG: i guess i can do that too
Karkat is still sitting in his couch crying. He doesn't know what to do. Why does he always mess up like this? He knew that he wouldn't have a chance with John, but why end their friendship? Okay, he does understand why he did it. But it was a desperate and stupid move. If he can't even have John as a friend he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. The human was his friend for so long. Should it just end like this? Even though he just realized that he is flushed for the boy, well consciously realized it, he shouldn't give up this quickly. Maybe being with trolls would change John so he would feel okay about being in the red quadrant with another boy. Damnit, Karkat isn't even the same fucking species! It's not like they're both human boys. What's the big deal? And John told him that long ago, isn't that something that can change over time?
Even if it is, Karkat messed up and he will never end up being with John. At least he decided to go to school on Monday, because not going would be worse. Even after talking to Terezi. Because not going would be like saying that she was right and he was flushed for John. Which is true. Karkat doesn't like this. He doesn't even understand himself at the moment. He screwed up with Terezi first, and now he's screwing up with John. He doesn't know if he even would deserve a third chance with someone considering how bad he is at romance. That thought isn't liked by the cancer troll, shouldn't he, the romcom master, know everything about romance? He can help others with their relationship problems, but when it comes to himself he can only do the worst imaginable. Telling his flush crush that he hates him and because of that making himself unable to ever talk to the human again.
He would've thought that after being flushed for Terezi and failing being matesprits with her he would do better if he got a second chance. But it couldn't possibly have gone worse than this. He wants to do something about it, but he doesn't know what. He can't just walk up to John on Monday and tell him that he didn't mean what he said. Even if he could, he doubts that the human would forgive him that easily. And why would he even. They were just friends, nothing more. And Karkat isn't a good friend. All he ever did was complain about how annoing Egbert was. Such a perfect way to show your flush crush some appreciation.
Dave had even asked him to come over and apologize. Maybe he should've done that... no...
John won't forgive him. He could see in John's eyes how deeply he had hurt him. He had probably lost all the trust that the human had in him and apologizing wouldn't make anything better. He would just be told off.
"Why do I keep fucking everything up?" Karkat asks himself, still with red tears in his eyes.
A/N: poor John... poor Karkat...
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