Chapter 7

For the rest of the evening, Jarrod was completely preoccupied with deciding what he was going to tell his family about the federals' involvement with Madison, or if he was going to tell them anything at all. When Nick and Heath came in from the field and the family gathered for drinks, Jarrod did tell them about his history with Madison, what happened during the war and how his conversation with Madison today went. He explained why he was asking Audra to stay away from town with the "sick" story – but that wasn't going over as well as he had hoped.

"I don't see why I can't go back to work on the orphanage with Luther, if you and he have talked things out," Audra said.

"Audra, I'm not entirely sure where he and I stand with regard to one another," Jarrod said. "All he told me was that he'd concentrate on the orphanage, but he clearly still holds resentment toward me for what happened during the war. I don't want you to get in the middle of all that. I want more time to see how he's going to react to me."

"Is he a threat to you, Jarrod?" Heath asked. "Personally?"

"I don't know," Jarrod said. "Does he want to kill me? Maybe. He made it a point to tell me he still holds it against me that he was sent back out into the field to get wounded, and that a lot of his men died because of the faulty arms I sold them."

It wasn't lost on any of them that Jarrod still harbored some guilt of his own that what he did in 1862 got a lot of men killed, even if they were the enemy. Nick and Heath, both having been in the war, could understand more easily how Jarrod could feel that way even though he was only protecting his own men. "It was war, Jarrod," Nick said, but he was really saying it for Victoria's and Audra's sakes.

"Yes," Jarrod agreed. And then he was at that point where he had to decide what he was going to say about the federals. He made a quick decision that he knew he might change at any moment, but for now, he was going to say nothing. "Audra, I'd appreciate it very much if you would keep being 'sick' for a while and stay here. This might be more complicated than any of us knows right now. I need time to see how things are going to develop."

"And how are you going to protect yourself in the meantime?" Victoria asked. "If Madison wants any revenge for the war – "

"Mother, I have work to do, and not just the orphanage project," Jarrod said. "Fred Madden knows what I've told you. I won't be completely exposed."

"You'd be less exposed if either Heath or I stayed with you in town for a while," Nick said.

Jarrod knew he couldn't have them around without telling them about the federals, and he could just picture Nick blowing up if Jarrod told him about them. "Not just yet, Nick," he said. "Some things have to sort themselves out. I may not be at any risk at all. I promise, if things begin to look threatening to me personally, I'll let you know and we'll work something out."

And that was all they said about it, at least until after dinner and Jarrod lost a few dollars shooting pool with Nick and Heath. "You're off your game tonight, big brother," Nick said, and his continuing concern showed.

Jarrod just smiled and put his cue stick away. "Lucky for you," he said, and he left the library to head back into the parlor.

Victoria and Audra were in the library too, but no one was surprised when Victoria got up and followed Jarrod. Once she left, Nick and Heath looked at Audra, and then at each other.

"Audra, it's best you let Jarrod have that time he asked for to see how things were going to play out," Heath said. "Bad feelings born in the war can really hang over."

"I know," Audra said, "but Luther didn't seem to be having any bad feelings at all."

"Until Jarrod showed up," Nick said. "Jarrod's gonna need to keep an eye on himself, Audra. He doesn't need to have to be looking out for you, too."

Audra understood that, but at the same time she did feel as if this were all a bit unfair, maybe more unfair to Madison than it was to her. If Madison had let the war go and was successfully rebuilding his home and his family – and Audra was certain he was – then he was less likely to hold a grudge against Jarrod. It wasn't fair that they were treating him as if he were.

In the parlor, Victoria caught up to Jarrod as he was pouring himself some scotch. He wasn't surprised she had followed him, but he wished she hadn't. He had kept secrets from her before and he knew he could do it again, or at least he could misdirect her concern if he had to. He just hated doing that. He just kept thinking about the Alderson affair, and he hated doing it again, even if this time his family wasn't so directly affected – so far.

Victoria did not beat around the bush with her oldest. In a way, they had grown up together. They'd been more of a team – especially where Audra was concerned – since Tom Barkley died. She could talk to him like a sister as well as a mother. She said, "I know this thing with Mr. Madison is bothering you, but there's more to it than you've told us, isn't there?"

Jarrod did not turn and look at her. "It's complicated, Mother," he said.

"Are confidential matters involved?" Victoria asked.

Jarrod thought about it for a moment, and nodded. "I've been asked to keep some things confidential, yes."

"And someone has asked you to keep Audra out of town."

Jarrod smiled. "No, that's entirely my idea, but after today, I think it's even more important." He turned and faced his mother. "I don't know what to expect out of Madison, Mother. Maybe nothing. Maybe trouble. I don't want any of the family exposed, especially not Audra."

"Of course, not Audra," Victoria said, and with a sigh she said, "She could be a bit of a wild card in this."

Jarrod said, "I don't think she and Madison were remotely involved romantically, but that's not to say Audra might not have wanted to see if it would go that way."

"Oh, she would," Victoria said. "There's not a doubt in my mind about that."

"We need to discourage that, Mother," Jarrod said, very seriously.

"Why? If you and Madison have put the war in the past – "

"The war is not in the past, Mother, despite what Madison might have said to me."

"Who's keeping it in the present – Madison, or you?"

Jarrod hesitated, then decided to take some of the attention onto himself. "Both, maybe. But the point is, I need time to see how this is going to develop, and I don't need the family getting twisted up in it. I don't need Nick and Heath dogging me, and I especially don't need Audra between Madison and me. To the extent you can help me keep any of that from happening, I guarantee you, you'll be happy you did."

"But you're not going to tell me in any more detail about what's going on," Victoria said.

"I can't, Mother," Jarrod said. "Please, just trust me on this. I can't, and you wouldn't want me to."

Victoria didn't like it, but resigned, she nodded and smiled just a little. "All right, Jarrod. If what I'm doing is trusting you with the family's safety, of course, I trust you."

Jarrod wondered how she could possibly do that after Alderson, but he believed her. He kissed her forehead.

"But I'm also trusting you to come to us for help if you need it to protect yourself," Victoria said.

Jarrod nodded. "I will. I promise."

She took him by the hand. "Then come back in with the rest of us and stop walking around like a little lost orphan boy who drinks by himself."

Jarrod had to laugh. "That's quite a picture you just painted."

"It's an accurate one. Come," she said and began to pull him back toward the library.