Joker was at his post, running some diagnostics, pretending to look busy at his job even though his actual thoughts were most definitely elsewhere.
Why had he left? He didn't even know. It'd been getting late, he'd tried to wake her up a few times but, to no avail, and as well as he knew her, he'd realized that predicting Shepard's reaction to their rather conspicuous absence wasn't as easy as he'd estimated it would be.
The longer they both went missing, the more chance people would start talking. He didn't care, but he didn't know if she would. He'd decided to err on the side of caution and leave. But not before leaving her an opened message on her personal terminal.
He went through the facts in his head. Seeking to convince himself that he'd done the right thing, even though his body was telling him the exact opposite.
His fingers tapped the flashing panels, sliding elegantly over the interface like he'd done it a thousand times. He didn't even have to think about the task, he just let muscle memory take over. His digits did all the work, allowing his mind to focus on the really important things like reliving the previous night.
Remembered bits of their conversation provoked silent chuckles from him, and flashes of the steamiest sex he'd ever had rendered him decisively horny.
It was a familiar state for him. Goodness knew how many times he'd felt that way while sitting on that very chair. Certainly more times than he cared to admit. But this time, he was hot and bothered by something that had actually happened with the woman he'd never dared delude himself he'd get a shot at.
Unmistakable steps echoed behind him, alerting him that the very object of his desire was advancing towards the cockpit.
He would normally wait for her to speak to him first, but this occasion certainly wasn't like all the previous ones. He turned his chair around to make eye contact with her. His undivided attention was on her body language.
He was searching for clues of how she'd handle the morning after. So focused on that he was, that he didn't note she wasn't wearing her habitual uniform, just a pair of informal pants and an N7 leather jacket.
She stopped by the cockpit's door frame with her hands tucked behind her back.
"EDI; do me a favor and see if you can give Engineer Adams a hand with the engines," she said, using her business tone.
A sense of anxiety invaded Joker - his heart started to pump hard in his chest and his head sunk involuntarily.
"I can assure you, Commander, that I can still assist Adams via my main..."
Shepard raised her hand at her to cut her off.
"It wasn't a suggestion EDI. Just go," she said politely, but firmly.
"Yes, Commander."
As EDI was leaving the room, Shepard noticed her new uniform. It was only fair she'd mention it to her;
"And EDI?" She waited for her to turn around. "Thanks for following up on my request. You're looking sharp. Well done."
EDI nodded and said; "Thanks, Commander," before departing.
She turned her eyes to Joker, crossing her arms;
"May I ask you what made you run away like that, Flight Lieutenant?"
He cringed at the sound of her addressing him by his rank. He slowly lifted his sight to her. He noticed she looked rather defensive.
"Do I snore?" she shrugged without changing her serious face; "Or... is it that you're still hung up on Alliance's rules?"
"Shepard, no!" He stopped, switching the brisk tone he'd just used, to his signature brighter one;
"That was, like, the lamest excuse ever, by the way. I thought we've covered that" he told her lightheartedly to hide his tension.
Drying his palms on his pants, he continued;
"It was getting late... that wine had you out for the count - I told that would happen," he waved a finger at her; "and you know how nosy the crew can be. Two senior officers go missing and they'll start all kinds of crazy rumors..." he tilted his head to one side. "They would be bang on money on this case for a change... but the point is, I wasn't sure how you wanted to play it. As for me - before you ask; what guy wouldn't want to advertise he's been buffed by you?"
Convinced by his reasons, she let out a chuckle caused by his last remark.
"Buffed?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, well and good!" he told her with a frown to stress how serious he was. "I take it you didn't read the message I left on your terminal."
She looked at him, puzzled.
"Big, bold fonts, so you wouldn't miss it?"
"What did it say?"
"Pretty much what I'm telling you now," he shrugged.
"It's a good thing I didn't read it, then. I think I prefer the live version," she said teasingly.
After satisfactorily clearing up the minor misunderstanding, she then proceeded to the next move she had planned for him, if everything went well...
"You know? While I was in the shower, I was thinking about something you said last night..."
"Playing with yourself, I hope" he said, moving his eyebrows up and down cheekily.
She frowned, shaking her head; "Why would I do that? If now, I got you to do that for me?"
He grinned at her answer; "That's an excellent point, but I wasn't there. So! You were in the shower," he recounted, doing a rotation with his hand; "playing with yourself," he insisted; " thinking about something I've said...and..."
"And I thought of dropping you a present before I carry on with the rest of the day."
He didn't respond - instead he just looked at her intrigued. Hoping she had in mind the same thing he did.
She closed and locked the cockpit door, as she gradually unzipped her jacket, revealing she was wearing nothing underneath.
He bit his lower lip as he attentively observed her walk slowly towards him.
She enjoyed Joker's covetous expression as she closed the distance between them - an expression she was getting better at recognizing.
With a complacent smile, she climbed on his chair and hovered over his lap without making contact, with her chest just a few inches away from his lips.
She opened her jacket.
Without skipping a beat, he nudged his cap off his head and buried his face on the inviting skin in front of him. His dick pressed hard against the fabric of his pants.
She gently hugged his head, caressing his short hair, while his mouth, teeth, and tongue busied themselves on her.
He trailed his hands inside the jacket and up her naked back to press her closer to him briefly. Then he moved them down again to her hips, where he grabbed her and made her sit on him.
Shepard had to repress a moan when she felt his tempting erection against her inner thigh.
His tongue contoured the bottom curve of her beast, leaving a trail of moist in its wake. He switched to using just his lips to caress the delicate skin of her round bosom, ever touching the nipple. It was his way of teasing her, but that didn't stop him from pressing her down on him, rubbing her on his lap.
Shepard let him play with her for a few more moments, then gently moved away from him saying; "I thought you'd like it."
She took something out of her pocket and hooked it on his collar.
"You can keep the wrapping paper," she said as she dismounted him.
She looked down on his parted, swollen lips. She couldn't help to trace her own with the tip of her tongue, at the same time that she zipped her jacket back up.
"And now you owe me. I've showed you mine, you'll have to show me yours," she told him, walking backwards and unlocking the door; "But later. Now I have to go and see Kaidan."
A tinge of jealousy crept up on him, but he'd be damned if he'd let it show; "I thought you said it was a present! That, foxy lady, is called bait and switch!"
"So I tricked you; to secure you'll show me your goodies..." she winked at him; "You can always say 'no'," she added.
He snorted; "Yeah, like that's gonna happen!"
After watching her disappear around the corner, he tried to shift his hardened dick to a less painful position, then looked down on his chest.
He grabbed the white piece of fabric she'd hung on his collar to inspect it. It was the vest she'd been wearing the night before. He took the intimate item to his nose; 'It smells exactly like her,' he silently moaned, turning his chair around.
Shepard met with Kaidan right outside the Normandy.
After a short, and slightly tense, chat regarding the episode with the Councilors, when she'd pulled a gun on him. He came around and offered to work with her, if she'd have him.
Shepard jumped at the opportunity; "Couldn't imagine meeting the Reapers without you."
Her words were followed by a friendly handshake, closing the deal.
She then added; "I might have an assignment for you right away, though... you think you're up for it?"
"Sure, Shepard. I'm ready."
"I received a call from the quarians - they seem to be in a bit of a jam, but that's not what I want you to deal with. I need you to take the Normandy and pick up Tali. I'll be honest with you, Kaidan... the truth is that I don't wanna find myself in need of a tech expert for our next mission and be forced to deal with the damn AI."
He looked at her dubitatively; "I don't know, Shepard, their leadership might want to discuss classified details and I wouldn't know how to handle that! I'm not a diplomat..."
She cut him off; "You're a Spectre. Anything they have to say to me, they can say it to you. You've been in this line of business long enough to know how it's done." She placed an affectionate hand on his shoulder.
"I have faith in you, Kaidan, now it's time for you to give yourself a break and do the same. And besides..." she retrieved her hand and shrugged;
"...it's not as hard as it looks. You'll just have to nod a lot and agree with whatever they say - just don't make any promises. Take Garrus with you, he'll help you out if you get bogged down. You'll be fine. Just make sure Tali comes back with you, that's your priority," she repeated, starting to walk away. "I'll deal with the politics once you guys are back," she said over her shoulder.
Kaidan went after her; "Shepard! No! I can't leave you port side by yourself without back up. Out of the question. Especially not after the crisis we've just had here. Cerberus might come back..."
"Kaidan, I'll be fine. Do I need to remind you that I can take care of myself?"
She looked up, searching for the words to convince him; "Look; C-Sec has the situation under control. It's highly unlikely they'll strike so soon after getting their asses handed to them. They won't risk it, not with the Citadel on high alert... and if I know anything about Vega, chances are he's still at his betting hole losing credits. So I'm not alone."
"I have a few loose ends to tie up here at the Citadel - been kicking that can down the road long enough. I'll get this out of the way while you help me out with the quarians. It'll save us time. Now go!" She spun around and walked away, only to stop again after a few strides.
"Speaking of cans... I thought I'd warn you. Brace yourself for the unshackled AI prancing around the ship." She lifted a finger at him; "If I hear one more comment about its tin rack, I swear to god, Kaidan..." She shook her head.
Kaidan watched her walk away, puffing and cussing words he couldn't make out.
He let out a chuckle. "What was that?" he said, bemused.
"Oh, now I gotta see this thing!" he said to himself, walking to the Normandy.
He made his way straight into the cockpit and sat on the co-pilot's chair.
Joker abandoned his console to look at him, but Kaidan spoke before Joker had a chance to greet him;
"I just had the oddest conversation with the commander," he told him, still trying to figure out what had happened; "I'm back with the team, by the way."
"Good to have you back, Kaidan! Conversation you said?" he slipped the question in there casually, trying to sound aloof.
"Thanks, I'll tell you in a sec. Right now, the boss wants us to go and meet the quarians. So: set course, helmsman!" He waved his hand in the direction of Joker's console.
Joker didn't like the sound of that; "Without her? Worse; leave her port side on her own? No way I'm moving this ship..."
Kaidan cut him off; "Fine, call her yourself if you don't trust me."
"Damn right I will," he snapped back, while entering her intercom frequency on the display.
"She might just read you the riot act, though... like she did with me."
Joker's finger stopped right before hitting 'connect'.
"She didn't, really." Kaidan giggled; "She's a sweet woman."
Joker glanced at him sideways.
"But she really wanted us to go. The quicker we get there, the sooner we can come back to pick her up."
Joker was stuck between not wanting to leave her by herself and wanting to hear the order directly from her. The problem was; that last option had the potential of making her feel patronized by him. The last thing he needed was yet another misunderstanding between them.
The prospect of returning as soon as possible seemed like the lesser of two evils. It tipped the balance, setting Joker into action. He changed into his pilot persona, gliding his hands across the controls.
"Aye-aye Major! And you better hold on to something, because I'm about to do the dirtiest undocking on record."
"Citadel Con Tower - Normandy here - Over," he said over his earpiece while powering up the engines.
He looked at Kaidan and said; "Inform the crew, Kaidan, that we're moving out. And tell them to... strap themselves."
Kaidan sent the message as Joker heard the answer straight from the Alliance Docking Officer.
"We have a situation here; I need you to uncouple the Normandy immediately, I repeat: immediately. I'm by-passing move out of a dock routine and safety procedures under Spectre authorization."
"No way I'm authorizing that!" Kaidan protested.
"Who gave the order to see the quarians, uh Kaidan?" he answered him.
"Copy that, Normandy. Let me clear a path for you, Flight Lieutenant."
"Negative," he said while moving the ship out of port; "I can handle it." He rotated his shoulders.
"Good luck, Normandy. Control out."
Soon - certainly faster than Kaidan would have preferred - they we're out of the Citadel and heading for the mass relay.
"Jesus, Joker!" Kaidan exclaimed, gripping the arm rests. "Is it really necessary..."
He couldn't complete his sentence because another slide maneuver was throwing him off balance again.
"I'm not finished yet - I'm hitting that mother in T-minus 5 seconds. Far Rim coordinates engaged."
"I'm gonna be sick."
Joker grinned maliciously.
.
After arriving safely at the other side, Joker navigated the ship to their destination. The short span it took them to get there gave Joker some time to ask Kaidan to ballpark their mission;
"So, what are we doing here?"
"I'm not even sure, Joker, something about politics... she mainly wants us to get Tali on board."
"Makes sense."
"Then she went a little weird. She mentioned something about the AI," he corrected himself; " I mean; EDI's new mobile platform. Do you happen to know anything about that?"
"I do, and no comment," he answered him doing a 'lips zipped' gesture.
"That's not like you!" Kaidan said, surprised. "Anyway... she looked good, though."
"Good? I thought you haven't seen her yet," Joker said, slightly distracted by the task of piloting the ship.
"Shepard, I meant."
Joker gave him another sideways glance.
"She looked a lot better than the last time I saw her at the hospital. She seemed more relaxed. Finally got to see her out of the uniform! Shame it wasn't a skirt, but that's not her style. She won't wear one, no matter how many times you tell her how fabulous her legs are."
Kaidan paused for a second to consider his next words, then added; "She had this glow on her... maybe she's finally getting some sleep," he deduced.
After hearing him talk about her in that way, mischief got the best of Joker.
"Maybe she got laid!" he told Kaidan, planting his tongue on his cheek.
"Wait! What? You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you?" Kaidan said without even trying to mask his shock.
Joker deflected the question; "We're here, Kaidan. Chop, chop Major. We're minus a commander and I'm not so sure Anderson or Hackett would appreciate having the Normandy sitting out here without her on board."
"You're right! I better hurry this up. I'll go get ready. Contact Garrus and tell him to meet me at the shuttle bay ASAP."
"Already on it."
Shepard checked her omni-tool to confirm the time. She couldn't believe how fast it flew.
She was feeling a little deflated, after spending all day running errands for half the Citadel like a common gofer and only a handful of war assets to show for it.
'Still no word from the Normandy,' she thought turning her omni-tool off, as she headed to her last destination to meet Aria.
Making her way in the club, her mood darkened, in tune with the atmosphere around her. The horrendously cheesy music offended her ears. All of her senses took her back to the last time she'd visited the place.
It wasn't until she experienced the site physically once again that the feelings she'd repressed threatened to surface. Fragments of the conversation she'd had with Joker at the bar popped in her head, making her clench her jaw.
Perhaps it was that she was tired, but she had to make the conscious effort to remind herself that an episode that had started so dreadfully had actually culminated on the best night she'd ever had.
"Well, look who's here," the asari said, dryly.
"Good to see you too, Aria. I trust you already know?"
"I wouldn't have expected anything less from you, Shepard. I knew I chose the right person to get the appropriate results. Now that the Blue Suns, Blood Pack, and Eclipse are in my pocket, it's a matter of when,- not if - I'll get Omega back. The Illusive Man is about to find out what happens when you break the one, and only, rule of Omega."
"That's a heartwarming story, but I believe our deal involved a little more than a congratulatory tit rubbing."
"Relax, Shepard! I might be many things, to many people, but a deal breaker ain't one of those. You'll get the mercenaries when you need them - you just send the word."
"We'll keep in touch."
She made an attempt to get up. A waitress carrying two large bottles blocked her exit momentarily.
"Leaving so soon? I know you're a busy woman, Shepard, but I thought you might agree to join me. " She signaled the waitress to leave her order at the table.
"For the first time in weeks, I feel like celebrating, and quite honestly; I can't stand the sight of any of these losers in here, let alone share my expensive wine with any of them."
Shepard shrugged and sat back down again.
"You're in luck; I was heading off for a bite, to kill some time. Might as well wait here, but I'll pass on the drink. Waking up gagged, in some mercenary torture chamber, is not my idea of celebration, to be frank."
"And what would I gain from that?" Aria asked, at the same time she signaled a man standing not too far from them.
"You, human! Yes you. Drink this!" She handed him a glass.
"Yes ma'am!"
"All of it... good! Now go back to the bar, and bring me a clean glass. Then park your ass over there, where we both can see you."
"Do you know that guy?" Shepard asked her while she observed the man rushing off to the bar.
"No," Aria answered indifferently; " but everybody here knows me, and knows better than to contradict me."
Shepard laughed as the man soon returned with the glass Aria had requested, almost tripping over himself on the steps.
"There Shepard!" she said, pointing in his direction with her hand. "If that guy falls flat on his face, you'll have enough of a warning to leave before the same happens to you. But I can assure you that all you'll see is just him standing there - probably playing with his dick, thinking that two of the most influential women on this side of the galaxy have taken a shine to him."
Aria handed her a glass.
Shepard chuckled, raising her glass; "To Omega or... to that guy and his dick? I can't decide which one is more toast-worthy."
"I was going for Omega, but if that dick managed to put a smile on stoic Shepard's lips... I believe I can make an exception."
They both raised their glasses. While sampling the fancy wine, the asari caught a glimmer on Shepard's eyes that spiked her curiosity.
"So! Shepard. At some point in our conversation, I was planning to remind you to get yourself that nice man to keep you warm I've recommended you before, but seeing you so radiant... makes me think you've already found him."
Shepard didn't answer her, but her widening smile betrayed her.
"Nice to know you're finally relieving some tension," she said, nodding.
Then quickly added, snapping her head away; "That shit ain't healthy."
"No, it isn't."
"He must be something else to bring the color back to your cheeks like that..."
Shepard's omni-tool blipped. It was a message from him;
- Your ride is back. Tali is with us and she's not the only one looking forward to see you. I give you 3 guesses: a) Joker b) Joker c) Joker.
Oh, there's also: d) some stray quarian admiral she couldn't help but drag along with us -
She turned off her omni-tool as she told Aria; "The best there is," imitating the smug tone he used when he bragged about himself.
She finished her glass and got up; "I should go."
"Of course you do, Shepard," she told her, sounding surprisingly understanding.
