Sorry I didn't get a chapter out yesterday, I had no motivation. Ha, motivation! That's a funny word. It's officially my word of the day. I now have inspiration! HURRAY FOR INSPIRATION! Now that I'm done my inspiration rant, enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer - Me: Do I really have to make a disclaimer?
Person: Yes, you do.
Me: What's my motivation?
Person: Umm….you don't have one.
Me: So what is the point of this?
Person: Who knows?
Me: Let's dance! (pulls out dance mat and we start randomly dancing to Captain Jack on DDR)
Chapter 7: Motivation
Mother Cockroach: So you see, the world was a holy and peaceful place. A pleasant place. At least until they came.
Child Cockroach: So, what you're saying is, we bother the humans as revenge?
Mother Cockroach: You may not understand now, but you will soon enough.
(Jeff suddenly walks by and steps on both Mother and Child Cockroach.)
Jeff: Welcome back to a slightly anticipated show called The Amazing Adventures of Aro the Arotastic! Just in case you forgot the name.
Mr. Kittywhale: Yes, because most people forget the name of the show right after the theme song plays and shouts the name really loud.
Jeff: I do…
Mr. Kittywhale: Anyway…Welcome to a new episode. Let the randomness…begin!
(Scene cuts to a very hyper little boy running circles around our favourite reality TV star.)
Aro: He's making me dizzy!
Caius: Vampires can't get dizzy, you ninny!
Aro: Someone once said you would never wear leotards…but that myth was busted too!
Marcus: And besides, who says "ninny" anymore? That's, like, from the sixteen hundreds.
Caius: We lived in the sixteen hundreds!
Marcus: And your point is…?
Little Boy: I like turtles!
Marcus: I like llamas!
Aro: YAY! Let's sing the llama song!
(They sing the llama song for approx. 23 hours, while the little boy, whose name is Miska, continues to run circles around Aro.)
Aro: Okay, seriously kid, you're freaking me out.
Caius: Vampires don't get -
Aro: I DO!
Marcus: Look Aro, if you want him gone then why don't you get rid of him yourself?
Aro: But that would mean work!
Marcus: Just get over it and catch the stupid kid.
Aro: What's my motivation?
Jane: (distantly) He can be dinner later!
Aro: (grabs little boy viciously and straps him to a random chair in the middle of the room) You stay here. I'm going to get Jane! (runs off)
Marcus: Well, that was easy.
Caius: Gotta love Jane and her eating habits. I swear, that girl would eat the moon, as long as you told her it was made of ribs.
Jane: What'd you say about ribs?
Caius: Oh, nothing.
(The scene blacks out momentarily as the vampires eat the little boy. I mean, honestly, what kind of people would we be if we made you watch that? Answer: not the nice kind.)
Aro: And now, we dance!
(They dance until a very sodden Mr. Blue walks in, accompanied by the ever famous VampNinjWa.)
Mr. Blue: I have terrible news!
Everyone: (gasps) What?!
Mr. Blue: We have just discovered that….The Great Wall of China has been turned into a poolside bar!
Aro: What's so bad about that?
VampNinjWa: No more teriyaki Tuesdays!!
Aro: NOOOOOOOOO!!
Alec: Aro, you can't even eat teriyaki.
Aro: I can do whatever I want! You know why?
Alec: I don't care, really -
Aro: I HAVE THE POWER OF MOTIVATION!!
Mr. Blue: Ooh, sounds like a superhero! Motivation Man!
Aro: I like it! Come, VampNinjWa! With you as my sidekick, we shall join forces with the Instant Waffle Machine and save the day!
(They randomly poof to Forks and find Bella chewing on a flower.)
Bella: Eww, this tastes like jerky!
Aro: Bella, will you join forces with us and help protect the city from the rampaging walruses?
Bella: Sure. Whatever.
(They join hands and skip to the city at vampire speed, which is very, very fast indeed. Woah, that rhymed. Dr. Seuss moment.)
Aro: Have at, ye walrus!
(They spend the day fighting the walruses Peter Pan style.)
Aro: And now, dear city, we must leave. To the AROMOBLIE!
(They jump in a random shopping cart they find, but as soon as they are about to push off they are met by a gang of people in fish suits.)
Fish Girl: You can't do that, it's copyright! This is our Catmobile, we are superheroes and we get to ride away in the cart. Disobey these rules and I'll set fire to your Christmas lights and snip random wires until they explode.
Cat Man: You've done this before, haven't you?
Fish Girl: Possibly. Now, Catmobile…AWAY!!
(Cat Man pushes the cart and jumps on the back, while Llama Kid sits down and mopes and Fish Girl stands up and screams "Hurray for skunks!" and the cart falls over.
Fish Girl: We're okay!
Aro: Well that was a waste of a perfectly good Saturday afternoon.
Bella: You said it.
VampNinjWa: Hey, let's play Janga!
(They play Janga and the screen cuts to the White Room.)
Jeff: Good, huh?
Mr. Kittywhale: Not really, but the writers went on strike.
Gustaff: This is REALITY TV. There are no writers.
Jeff: So are you saying it's our fault?
Mr. Kittywhale: I think he is!
Jeff: Rude!
Mr. Kittywhale: Anyway, tune in next time, when Aro shuts up about the whole "motivation" thing and the writers get more ideas!
Jeff: Buhbye!
So, what'd you guys think? I really did need more motivation, and apparently the word "motivation" was my motivation! Weird, huh? Anyway - I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING! The whole "you will understand soon enough" thing, then when the cockroaches got stepped on! HA! Irony without even realizing it! My subconscious is playing tricks on me again. I like it. As I was saying, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Oh, and just a heads up, I'll be really busy this weekend doing a week's worth of math homework, a history ISU, studying for science, a booklet for music appreciation, watching my baby cousins, watching my BFF Jill's dance recital, going to the mall with my friendsies and secretly reading the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, which comes out with the special addition of Eclipse, which is released tomorrow (for those of you that aren't enough of a book-stalker me and my friend's thing to know). So basically, I probably won't have a new chapter till Monday or Tuesday. Hope you all like the chapter! REVIEW!!
Love,
The Wonderful and Most Excellent Miss Alexa (aka An.Aria.Of.Moonlight) The Amazingly Fantastic
