Author's note: This is a big chapter! Many exciting things happen. Please review!
Claire wasn't used to waking up to quiet. She had grown accustomed to being roused by Aaron's loud crying. When she opened her eyes that day, she was confused. The sun was in about the right position for early morning, which meant that Aaron should have been bawling for food by now. She sat up quickly, expecting to find the baby missing. Instead, she was greeted by a much more pleasant sight.
Charlie was sitting a few feet away, Aaron nestled in his arms. The baby looked slightly fussy, but Charlie was rocking him and singing a quiet song, keeping the crying fit at bay for a few more minutes so that Claire could sleep.
"Love you," Claire heard Charlie whisper to Aaron as he ended his lullaby.
Claire felt suddenly warm and contented. This was how having a baby should be. You were supposed to have someone with you, someone else who cared and worked at your side. This was how she had thought things would be with Thomas.
"Oh, hey, you're awake," Charlie said. "Are you hungry? I have the usual vast selection of fruit here. And I think the little guy's getting hungry, too."
"Yeah. I'm surprised he didn't wake me up before now."
"Well, I woke up early, and I picked him up before he could cry. You've seemed kind of tired lately."
"Lately?" Claire laughed. "Try… always. Thanks for letting me sleep a bit longer."
"It was my pleasure." Charlie scooted over to hand her Aaron, giving her a kiss on the forehead as he handed her the baby. "You look cute sleeping."
"But not awake?"
"It's basically a 24/7 cute parade around here. What with you, and Aaron… and of course, me."
Claire rolled her eyes but giggled, still feeling the afterglow of her pleasant awakening. "Of course." She leaned up to kiss Charlie's cheek.
"Hey," he teased. "I think you missed."
Claire's heart pounded. Although they often cuddled or held hands now, they hadn't had a real kiss yet.
"Oh really?" she said, feeling brave. "Maybe you should show me."
Charlie stared at her for a moment as though sizing up if she really meant it, then leaned forward slowly. He put his hand behind her head and leaned closer. Just before his lips touched hers, she flinched, and he pulled back.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know… nervous."
"Don't worry about it." He stood up and walked over to the water bucket.
"Charlie… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"I said don't worry about it. I'm not trying to rush you or anything."
Claire set her lips in a straight line. Charlie wouldn't try to push her, but she wanted things to move forward. She realized that she would have to push herself.
She jumped up, set Aaron in his cradle, and took the few steps across the tent that would place her by Charlie. His back was to her, and she nervously tapped his shoulder. He turned, startled, and before he could say anything, she stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his. They both held still for a moment, getting used to the feeling, then their lips began to brush against each other more passionately.
The embrace was ended by Aaron, who began crying again. They awkwardly parted. Claire saw that Charlie's face wore the same expression of nervous pleasure that she could feel spreading across her own face.
"Guess you'd better feed him," Charlie said, his face still so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek as he spoke. She nodded silently. He reached up and gently traced her lower lip with his thumb, then finally pulled back.
Claire felt warm all over. This sweetness was what she had been waiting for, what had been growing between them. On this morning, she felt invincible. She forgot to be scared of what would happen or wonder if this was smart.
She and Charlie did the usual morning chores, taking care of Aaron and eating the usual makeshift breakfast. When Aaron was content, Claire sat down with him in her lap. Charlie sat down next to her, slung his arm around her waist, and laid his head on her shoulder.
"So," he said.
"So," she repeated.
"Happy?"
"Very."
"Good."
The rest of the day passed in a haze of domestic bliss. They kissed a few more times and held hands at every opportune moment. Claire enjoyed it, but she felt secretly nervous. It was like this was a dream, too good to be true, and her mind kept trying to wake up and face some harsh reality. She couldn't put a name to this feeling until she realized that this was the bliss she had felt in the early days of Thomas and all her other short-lived boyfriends. She and Charlie may have started out as platonic co-parents, but now they had started new wheels in motion. This was a real romance, and now the clock with ticking. If she lost him, she would lose twice as much as she would have before.
She tried to push these thoughts away and did a fairly good job of it. She would ignore her mind and catalogue every sensation in her body. Charlie's hands. Charlie's lips. Charlie's arms. It was easy to get lost in this.
That afternoon, Hurley appeared. Claire tensed a little. She had felt tension between him and Charlie lately. Worse than that, she had felt tension in herself when she was with him. He was so kind, so funny. He brought music, her favorite thing. He offered reassurance without demands. His lack of demands, however, were becoming their own kind of bondage. His adoring eyes and endless favors made her feel a weight of gratitude, like she should do something to make him happy. Everyday it became a little easier to imagine their hands touching again, or touching on purpose, or even more. Then she was left to wonder if she imagined these things out of pity, or out of her own escapist tendencies, or because she really wanted them.
Hurley ambled up. "Hey guys. I have an offer that you can't refuse."
Charlie was in too
good of a mood to act cold. "Oh really?" he asked cheerily. "Go
on."
"Kate, Jack, and Sawyer want to know if you would like
to play…" He raised his eyebrows dramatically.
"Strip poker?" Claire joked.
"Russian roulette with the remaining bullets?" Charlie guessed.
"Close. Truth or Dare."
"Truth or Dare? That's kid stuff," Charlie scoffed.
"Yeah, but it might be fun. It was Kate's idea, and her two love-slaves agreed. She told me to get more players so it will be more fun."
"Can I bring Aaron?" Claire asked.
"Sure. So you're in?"
"Yeah, why not?" Charlie said. "Nothing better to do."
A few minutes later, they were all settled in a circle. Ground rules were set up—no picking on the same person twice in a row, no dares dangerous enough to risk losing more islanders, and no dares involving Aaron. Kate went first.
"Claire. Truth or dare?"
"Umm… truth."
"What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? And give details!" Kate grinned.
'"Hmm… well, when I was in high school…"
"This should be good. Everything in high school is embarrassing," Jack joked.
Claire chuckled. "I
was going to class and my school had a lot of stairs. I was wearing
a new skirt that was really short and tight, and I tripped, rolled
down the stairs, and ripped my skirt. I took out, like, ten people
when I was rolling, and everyone saw my underwear."
"Was it
sexy underwear? Because that might have been kind of hot, and then
the story wouldn't be embarrassing." Sawyer smirked.
"No. It had monkeys on it. And bananas." Claire blushed, and the rest of the circle howled with laughter.
"OK, OK, my turn to pick someone." She looked around and decided to ask Jack. Kate had just had a turn, Sawyer was sure to make fun of her somehow, choosing Hurley might annoy Charlie, and choosing Charlie might be kind of obvious.
"Jack. Truth or
dare?"
"I guess I'll take a dare."
"OK. I dare you to…" She thought hard, then got an idea from her own story. "I dare you to go up to Sayid and ask him what color underwear he's wearing. Without explaining that it's a dare."
Jack grimaced. "OK… I guess it could be worse." He hesitantly obeyed, with the rest of the circle watching from afar and laughing at Sayid's reaction. Even from 30 feet away, they could see his dark eyebrows go up and his mouth open in a uncharacteristically stunned expression.
The game went on. Claire had to do a fake striptease in front of Sun and Jin, then run away. Charlie was forced to admit that the last person he had slept with was a groupie. Hurley revealed that he hadn't been kissed until he was 18. Kate always chose dares when asked, and Jack and Sawyer did the same, giving each other competitive glares the whole time. Kate climbed the tallest tree in sight. Sawyer challenged Bernard to arm wrestle and had a surprisingly hard time winnning. Jack sang an a capella version of "I Will Survive", complete with disco moves.
Then, a few turns into the game, true awkwardness began. It was Sawyer's turn to give a Truth or Dare, and for some strange reason, he picked Claire. "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
"Chicken! Bawk, bawk, bawk…" Charlie teased.
"Fine! Fine! Dare!" She had decided to forego any future dares after the unfortunate Korean striptease, but she'd never been much good at resisting peer pressure.
"OK. I dare you to kiss ol' Jabba the Hutt."
Claire glared, immediately annoyed, both by Sawyer's name-calling and the content of his dare.
"Hurley. Kiss Hurley. A real kiss. No pretending to miss."
"Sawyer!" Kate scolded.
"What? It's not dangerous. I don't see a problem here."
"You don't have to do it," Kate said to Claire.
"Gee, thanks. I feel so loved," Hurley cracked.
"She only has to do it if she's not a chicken," Sawyer added.
"Fine, fine. Whatever," Claire burst out.
"Claire…" Charlie said quietly. He raised his eyebrows in an inquisitive manner.
"It's just a dare," she whispered. Then she realized that Hurley had heard this quiet council, and looked like a puppy who'd just been kicked. On a sudden wave of mercy and affection, she stuck Aaron into Charlie's arms, leaned across the circle, put her arms around Hurley's neck, and kissed him.
His lips were a little fuller than Charlie's, and a little softer, but not as warm, or as firm. Hesitant lips. Hesitant, but not moving. The kiss was long, without her meaning for it to be, and not as light as she meant it to be, either. Once their lips were touching, it was easy to just stay that way. It wasn't a bad kiss. It was kind of nice.
It was Hurley who pulled back, his mouth slightly open, his face stunned.
"Damn. You sure didn't seem to mind that dare, Blondie," Sawyer exclaimed. Kate was biting her lip anxiously, eyebrows raised. Jack rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact. Charlie stared at her stonily, then jumped up and stormed toward the jungle, still holding Aaron.
"Charlie!" she cried, leaping up and chasing after him.
"So does this mean the game is over?" Sawyer called. "Oops, my bad."
"Charlie!" Claire yelled again, now just a few feet behind him.
He stopped and spun around suddenly. "You were just waiting for that, weren't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"A reason to kiss Hurley. You've probably had some practice, huh? I've seen how much you two hang out."
"Charlie, it's not like that."
"Then why did you kiss him for so long? Why did you take the dare at all? Don't you even care about us?"
"Us? What are we, Charlie? You act like we're married, but we've hardly know each other for more than a month. We didn't even kiss until today."
"Wasn't it good? Is that what this is about? You think he's better than me?"
"Charlie, it was just a dare! Why are you freaking out about this?"
Aaron burst into tears, upset by the yelling. "Give him to me," Claire demanded.
Charlie shoved Aaron into her arms. "Fine. Why don't you just take him and leave me alone? Apparently there is no 'us' anymore."
"Charlie, I didn't mean that." He ignored her, turning to go. "Charlie!"
"I hope you and Hurley are very happy together. Let's see if he'll love Aaron as much as I do." He broke into a run, refusing to even look back.
Claire felt tears streaming down her cheeks. How had things gone wrong so quickly? She should never have let herself feel safe so quickly.
She walked slowly back toward the tent. The only person she passed was Eko. They hadn't spoken before, but when he saw her expression, he stopped working on the wooden staff he was holding.
"Are you OK? What happened?"
"I'm fine. Fine, really. It's nothing." She started walking more quickly, but then thought better of it. When she reached her tent, she would just sit there alone and wallow in misery. She hated that. Maybe she should talk to someone while she had the chance. She walked over and sat next to the big man. "I just had a fight with someone."
"Are you hurt?"
"Oh, not like that, just an argument." She realized that she hadn't even introduced herself. "I'm Claire by the way. This is Aaron."
"My name is Eko." He paused. "Aaron? The brother of Moses?"
"Yeah." She was beginning to regret starting conversation. She didn't want to explain anything. She didn't even want to think about anything.
"Why did you choose it—Aaron?"
"I just liked it."
He opened his mouth like he was going to say more, but then didn't. She quickly spoke up, trying to change topics.
"So what are you writing?" She leaned a little closer to him to see the staff on which he was carving.
"Things I need to remember."
She read the small words. "Is that a Bible verse?"
"Yes. Do you read the Bible?"
She shook her head. She was suddenly reminded of Charlie's Virgin Mary statue, and she sighed and pressed her hand over her eyes.
"Are you sure you're
alright?
"Yeah, I just thought of something…"
"The Bible makes you upset?"
"No, it's this guy. This guy, my… friend, I guess, Charlie. He's religious, but he won't admit it. He carries around this statue of the Virgin Mary." She shifted Aaron's position in her arms and shook her hair out of her face.
Eko's calm face suddenly tensed. "Statue?"
"Yeah, he says he found it on the island. Weird, right?"
"May I see it?"
Claire thought the request was strange, but maybe Eko was extremely devout and wanted to pray to it or something. "Sure, our… I mean, my tent's right over here."
When they reached the tent and she pulled the statue out of Charlie's deserted stash of clothes, Eko got even more upset. "Where did he find this?"
Claire was getting a little scared by Eko's dramatic reactions. Maybe she shouldn't have brought a stranger to her tent. "He says he found it in the jungle," she answered slowly.
"Where in the jungle?"
"I don't know."
"Where?" He was practically shouting, and Claire flinched and held Aaron closer.
"Look, what are you…" she stuttered. "It's just a statue."
"Just a statue?" He set the statue on the makeshift table Charlie had set up and raised his stick. Claire jumped back, feeling like she might burst into tears again, but Eko's rage was aimed only at the statue. He smashed it, and a little bag of white powder fell out.
"Where is Charlie?" he demanded.
Claire gawked. "What is that? Is it…"
"Heroin. It was being smuggled."
"How did you know?" Claire's mind was reeling.
"It's a long story. Where's Charlie?"
"He ran into the jungle. Does this mean he… that Charlie is…"
"I don't know what it means. I have to find him."
"I'm sorry, I don't know where he went." Claire sank down and sat on the sand, feeling like she might throw up.
Eko looked at her with pity. "I'm sorry. I know this is a shock. Tell me if you need anything, but I have to go." He set off toward the jungle, a little bit of fury still apparent in the lines on his face.
Claire was remembering everything—times when Charlie had acted strange or secretive, times when Locke had talked to him and Charlie wouldn't explain what they'd been discussing, and most of all, a time when Charlie mentioned his past, and drugs. Apparently, it wasn't in the past. She had trusted her heart, and her safety, and her baby to a druggie. She felt stunned, and underneath the stupor, angry. Angry at Charlie for deceiving her, and most painful of all, angry at herself for screwing up again.
A/N: Oh, the angst! Please review! Obviously, some of the dialogue between Claire and Eko is straight from the corresponding scene in the show.
