Kak: BWHAHAAH! I'm back! XD . Anywho, I know only one or two, (cough iris D. end cough) people are reading this crud story, but even so, I'm glad that there are people reading it, and so, I will write!

Aki: Kekekek, she called you kougaAFK XD

Kak: . Shh! Disclaimer! Please!

Shita: Kak does not own Naruto, he is just a rabid fanboy/girl, and is doing this 'cuz he's a loser.

Kak:O

Shita: Well, you are. On with the fic!


Numbers in (#) Marks will be answered in the A/N section.

Begin; Super Sexy Bonus.

Warning: Possible M+ content


"Oh, my, GOD! Hinata! Those are huge!" Tsume cried, Causing Naruto and Kiba who were being good little ninja to turn bright shades of red. "Tsu-tsu-tsume-sama!" Hinata squeaked from behind a large wall of rock.

After detaching Naruto and Kiba from each others throats the night before, Tsume had ordered everyone to sleep immediately, then, she ordered Kiba and Naruto to sleep outside the tent. They're punishment: Sleeping out in the cold, with only each other's company'

Y'know, so that they could get over each others' gigantic egos, or at least make one of said egos recede. It didn't work, Tsume, Hinata, and Akamaru sat in the Tent, awake all night as the two hormone driven teenager's scuffled, and shouted swear words at each other.

As a result, the two smelled – badly – therefore, that morning, after they had packed up they're belonging's and headed out, they had to make a small detour; a fresh water spring was nearby, and Tsume would be damned if the two boys didn't bathe in it. But, of course, Tsume got it into her head that the spring needed to be used before it was tainted by the bodies of two dirty, and sour youths. In Lay-man terms: Girls first.

Ah!! Tsume-sama! Please, don't touch-!" (1)

Kiba and Naruto were trying to act like they weren't hearing anything by pretending to check the wagon full of rusty weapons and armor. There was a splash and Akamaru woofed. (2)

"Whoa… They're so soft… Tonight I'm sleeping on your chest Hinata, pillow's are nothing compared to these-!" (3)

"Ah! Tsume-sama! Please, what if they hear…?"

"They're red blooded young men, d'ya think they're not spying on us right now…?"

Kiba and Naruto were both in shades of red that combined might have rivaled Hinata.

"Wha-What? N-no, they wouldn't do that… Kiba's like an innocent puppy…!" Kiba face vaulted, and Naruto stifled his laughter. "I'm an innocent puppy?! No!!! No wonder she's never even considered us being together!"

"Gwahahahaha!!!" Tsumes loud and boisterous laugh broke through the air, shaking Kiba out of his revelry, and bringing Naruto out of his victory grin, the two looked over to the giant wall of rock that separated the caravan and the two bathing women. Wishing they had X-ray vision. (4)

"Oh, c'mon, Kiba? Innocent? Gwahahahaha!!!" The loud boisterous laugh cut through the air again.

Kiba felt his face flush red again, had several urges to end Naruto's life as he rolled around on the floor, clutching his stomach with one hand, and muffling bursts of laughter with his other.

"Wha-What do you mean…?" Hinata's voice asked, quavering, curious, a bit cautious.

"Oh, Hinata, how can you be so blind?! And with those eyes to boot!" Hinata's blush in response to Tsume's answer could almost be heard.

"Well, he is…" It was much lower in tone than her whisper's, but the trained male shinobis' ears picked up on it.

"It doesn't matter, so, what do you think about Naruto?" Tsume ventured,

"Ah-um-you see-er- what a-about him…?" Now Hinata's blush was deafening, surely the spring water must have been boiling with the flushes of heat that graced Hinatas face.

"You don't think he'd be spy'n on us?" Tsume asked incredulously.

"Ah-er-no-I-" Tsume cut Hinata off before she could turn her stutter off and answer.

"Hinata, if you do that one more time I'm going to turn your butt red!" Naruto stopped his laughing to allow a certain mischievious visualization enter his mind. Kiba was trying to replace the image of his mother with Ino.

"Tsume-sama, I… Trust Naruto…" Was Hinata's strained, stutter-free reply.

"Trust? So, what? Your saying you told him a secret and he's not going to tell anyone? Do you or do you not think Naruto might be spying on you right now…?!"

Tsume's voice rang with irritance, and Hinata froze up with worry, did she think Naruto was spying on her? Could he possibly be doing something so low, and disgusting…? True, he spent a lot of time with the more perverse of the San-nin, and occasionally he did transform into a sexy female version of himself, "I think…" Hinata began, but she ws silent, for several moments. "Well?" Tsume prompted.

"I think…" More moment's of silence.

"Hinata…?" Tsume asked with worry in her voice.

There was a splash of water, followed closely by a: "Hinata!!" (5)

"HINATA!!" The two male member's of the team called, vaulting over the rock wall, and receiving two very large boulders to the face. "G'it outta here, 'ya pervs!!" Tsume demanded. The two men nodded with eyes closed, and walked back to the camp site wobbily, covered in blood. Naruto had just experienced one of the most amazing nose bleeds in his entire life. While Kiba, who had experienced a very similar nosebleed, was trying to edit the image he had seen. (6)

Later that day, when Hinata had recovered from her faint in the host spring, and Tsume mercifully lied about her boyfriend, and best friend not having walked in on her nude figure. Attributing the fainting to stress from not sleeping the night before. And so, after reassuring themselves that Hinata was fine, safe and in good hands, they were allowed to wash.

"Dickless wonder!" (7)

"Dog shit!"

"DBZ RIP OFF!!" (8)

"STEREO TYPICAL CHARACTER!" (9)

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" (10)

Hinata had begun to cry silently. (11)


End Of Super Sexy Bonus.


Kak: For those of you wondering, this was more like a crack chapter than anything else. Sorta like a warm up. I am just using this chapter as a breeding ground to let my inspiration copulate and reproduce those goblins that make me update. This chapter should of course, be considered something that happened.

I needed the fan service .


A/N:

(1) Wait, touch what?!

(2) OMG Tsume just-?!

(3) O.o Yuri…

(4) Oh, cmon, that's just teasing!! .

(5) Poor Hinata-chan fainted because of the illogicalness that is realizing Naruto is not perfect. Or rather that it is blashphemous for her to speak ill of Naruto, and her brain couldn't comprehend the idea of speaking it. Her mind exploded.

(6) Hinata : Ok. HinataxIno: Ok. HinataxTsume(Kiba's mom): Error.

(7) Thank you Sai. (Naruto 2) Your slander of Naruto is appreciated, especially for this Bathing scene.

(8) It is known that Masashi kishimoto was inspired by akira toriyama, the creator Dragon ball Z, so whenever I want to slander Naruto, I just call him a rip-off super sayan. Seriously, he does not deserve a field of Kyuubi charka lifting his hair up and giving him super powers.

(9) ahem . Canine Character's, are awesome, however they do tend to follow certain stereo types: i.e. "Strong noses, fangs, self-confident, and a habit of being seen as rowdy, violent characters. These are the stereo types input to Canine-like or anthropomorphic characters in manga.

For more information look up 'Kotaro Inugami', 'Inuyasha', and 'Kouga'" Yeah, I should put that in wikipedia. :D

(10) That was Tsume irritated that she can hear everything they say.

(11) Poor Hinata-chan just realized they were listening to everything they said!