Title: "The Aftermath"
Author: Baliansword
Rating: T for Teen
Chapter: 7 of 11, "The Funeral"
Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion
Summary: After a night of drinking, Alexander murders Cleitus in Scamander. Hephaestion furthers the rift by out-casting Roxanne. He does, however, try to help Alexander regain his sanity.
Warnings: Violence, sexual content, and some strong language.
A/N: No one panic! I assure you; Hephaestion will not be tortured and killed. As some have suspected there is something left out in his deal with Cassander. Since you know he will not die, keep reading, and it will get better.
Dedication: Just another idea I had, thanks to all that read.
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Hephaestion's PoV
I wonder what the others are thinking. It is dark tonight, darker than I believe I've seen the night sky for some time. Flames from nearby candles light up the clearing, but apart from that there is nothing. The moon has taken her stars with her, hidden them away from us, and I fear that they may not come back. There was no reason for them to stare at him the way they did, at their king, and at the man that had long before become their friend when they'd had no other in the world. As we approached, I swallowed, and I feared for him. They were not looking at me, but instead were looking at Alexander. He did not seem to notice, and if he did he made no notion of it. I stopped a moment before continuing. I took my place amongst those that had come, higher generals for the most part, and cast my eyes upon the pyre. It is interesting how a pile of logs can become something to horrific to look at.
Cleitus seemed peaceful, and I noticed this before I noticed anything else about him. Many could have mistaken that he was merely sleeping. There was nothing special about his arrangement. His hands hung limply at his sides and there was no makeup to cover him. Only his hair had been washed, and he'd been dressed in a new chiton. It was hard to look at him and logically conclude that he was dead, and that he would not be waking up. That was the truth though, one I did not want to accept, but I was forced to. All men know when denial becomes a crude lie.
Alexander appeared to be solemn, as if he were saying a goodbye that none of us could hear. I managed to glance at him out of the corner of my eye before I looked away. I knew that he was going to be alright for the moment. I then began to stare at Cleitus, and I began to say a silent goodbye to him as well. I am sorry, I thought quietly. For the first time I was feeling the guilt all over again. I am sorry that I could not stop him. I am sorry that I left your body to tend to Alexander. I am sorry that I never came back. I am sorry that I was not stronger in the last few days, for I know you would have thought me weak for it. I am sorry Cleitus, so very sorry.
I drew in another breath and tried to keep my composure. If tears came I knew I would be betraying not only Alexander, but also Cleitus, and myself. For a moment I forgot where I was. I closed my eyes quickly and then began to wring my hands together. This was the most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. However, when I glanced at Cassander, I felt only worse about out entire situation. He was smirking, and at the same time he was picturing me on that pyre. If I would have had the gall I would have told him at that moment that he would never be able to see me upon a pyre.
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Cassander's PoV
He could have done better. It was the first thing that ran through my mind as I saw them both arrive, and together as fate would have it. The most disturbing realization that I came to was that I was not thinking of Alexander when I said he could have done better. I was thinking about Hephaestion, and I knew it to be true. Alexander could never love Hephaestion in the depths that he loves his king, and above all his truest friend. Hephaestion could have done better, and he likely should have. Fate seemed to hate us all. I meant that, they hated us all.
Hephaestion was ruined from birth I think. He does not inspire anyone to think he is a man, but at the same time he's not a woman either. It must be terrible to be between such opposites. He is ruined by the Fates in other ways as well. Simply to begin he is Athenian, and he is completely enveloped around Alexander. There is nothing free about him; freedom was sucked away from him years ago. The Fates hate him as much as they hate the rest of us. They merely hate him in a way that will tear him apart from the inside out. None of us will even see that he is longing until the day that it happens, and when he does he will not go through a quick drunken rage as Alexander or the rest of us would. No, Hephaestion is cursed. He will meet his end in one quick moment.
Alexander is cursed by the Fates as well. No one can say that he is not. His mother gave him madness. His father gave him rage. Together the combination produced Cleitus' death, as well as many of other things we may not be aware of. I wonder if he has any remorse for what he has done. Looking at him I cannot tell. He seems hollow at the moment, but I do not know what that means. I glance again at Hephaestion after I look at Alexander. Yes, Hephaestion could have done better. Even Hades knows that I would change my ways if I could receive just an ounce of love, the truest love, like the love that Hephaestion embraces Alexander with.
Even I am cursed by the damned Fates. There is nothing in the world for me, nothing at all. I do not even have the power that I wish to have. What is so wrong with me, I wonder, that I can have nothing to live for yet go on. Perhaps death was better for Cleitus. At least now he will not have to worry about being sent away. He won't have to worry about being forced to marry some woman that Alexander deems good enough for him. Maybe we all need death.
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Ptolemy's PoV
It is hard to understand any man that leaves his home to travel a road unnamed and never trekked upon before. To understand such a man you would have to be that man, or you would have to be following that man, hoping that his sense of direction was correct. Making new trails and new establishments is not to be feared, not if you are with a legion of men that know what they are doing. If they are remaking the world for their own cause, and it betters more than it hurts, then you too are doing well. However, to be with a legion led by a man that runs from his past you too run from your past and home, even if you do not mean to do so. By following Alexander, a man that runs from his past without stopping or regarding that there are others with him that are then forced to flee as well, we have all become the same man. We are all cowards, for we stand behind him, but we never stand up for ourselves. Yet, even now, we are cowards because not only have we forgotten ourselves, we have forgotten Alexander as well.
No matter what we may think of him now, as we stare upon the body of Cleitus, we still remember what Alexander has done for us all. He's taken us across the world and claimed it all for not only himself, but for us. With him we have gained wealth, wives, and an experience that cannot be matched by any other. There is nothing greater than that. Cleitus, like the rest of us, came along knowing the consequences. He knows, just like we all do, that in battles men die. Alexander kills, just like the rest of us, and does not ask us to do anything that he himself would not do. He kills men, yes, but is that so terrible? Does it make him a tyrant? To say that it does makes up all tyrants logically, but there are not many standing around the pyre now that like to think of logics. I can only find reasoning in Hephaestion, though at times I do not understand what wills him to go on loving Alexander unconditionally when events like this occur. Still, though he is the only other rational man here I know, he and I are able to speak on only rare occasions it seems. I admit that I do not seek him out, and he seeks out no other. He believes that we all view him as Cassander does, but that is not true.
I glance again in Hephaestion's direction and see him wringing his hands together. I look away and begin to wonder about my own feelings. I cannot decide whether or not I am going to miss Cleitus. He had no need to be slain, but for some time I've been thinking that Alexander should retire him. Just like older generals he could have given him a post and a fortune to sit on so as he could wed and have children. Alexander should have disposed of him in that way, not in the way he did. Yet, when I ask myself if I am going to miss him I am unsure. Perhaps I will, but I do not find it likely.
"Do you think he will do it," Cassander then whispered, an amused yet sickening smirk coming across his lips. Slowly I turned my head to meet his gaze, hoping not to draw any attention. "You give him too much credit."
Yes, I thought for a moment. I do give Alexander too much credit. I honor the fact that he has kept his childhood friends close to him. We are his generals when there are older and wiser men that could do just as good of a job as we do. I cherish the fact that he still speaks to me as if I am a friend, and I am allowed to address him as my friend. I am astounded that he has led us across the world and I am always amazed to think that we've never been defeated. I love the man as a leader, a friend, and as a man in general. Yes, perhaps I do give him to much credit because I pray for him when I pray for myself. Then again, if I give him too much credit is that not a good thing, for what else could I ever give him but the credit he is due?
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Roxanne's PoV
Fools. All of them are fools. They stand around their dead as if there is a feast to be had. I cannot understand their ways. I can not even begin to harbor the idea that if anything were to become of me I would be burned like they are going to burn him. I would as soon be thrown aside and left for the dogs. There is no reason for my being here either. I am a decoration, the apple in the mouth of the pig that is to be roasted.
Alexander stand near me, like that is any protection now. I raise my eyes to the only protection that I have at the moment. Cassander, and that is not even a protector that one can put their faith in. The more that I am with him the more that I grow fond of him. Physically he is a lover worthy of my body, whereas Alexander only wants his beloved Hephaestion. I spat on their love. I do not need love, not when I am with Cassander, and I do not even mind. Yet I fear that he uses me to get the power that he wants. Well fine, I shall use him for my own power. These Greeks are all unwise. They believe that women are to be the hearth and the home, that we merely bare them children and look elegant at their feasts. Well, they are fools. I will have just as much power as Cassander when I am done. If he thinks that I will bend to his will, he is wrong, for he bends to mine.
Yes, after all, Cassander is the weakest of them all.
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Bagoas' PoV
Shadows do not scare me. I hide in them as if they are my only home. I am not sad for doing such. I like what I do, and that is fine with me. There is much to know here. I am not sure if I wish to know about this funeral. There is pain in all of them as they circle him. Pain in all of them apart from Roxanne that is. She is heartless and always has been. She looks bored. Cleitus is dead, yet she still thinks she has a right to be bored. I would like to lock her in a harem. Then she can see what boredom is. Besides, she is a whore anyways. I keep lurking, and I keep waiting for them to light the pyre. I would never wish to rush Cleitus' rights. There is something that I must tell Hephaestion though. I must tell him, and soon, because if I do not it could cost him his life.
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Alexander's PoV
As soon as I step out I am met by their eyes. They all look first at Hephaestion then turn their glares to me. It is as if I have killed them all and I am entering the Underworld to walk with them endlessly on a path to redemption. There is nothing I can do to stop them from looking at me. Their glares burn me it seems but I continue forward. What else am I going to do? I take my place, and then I see Cleitus for the first time since I have killed him. He looks calm now, as if all is well with him. I glance toward Hephaestion, but then realize what I am doing. I am hiding behind him again. He is my strength, but I abuse such a right. As soon as I look away I can almost feel him carefully looking in my direction. Yes, he is my pillar, but for the first time I cannot lean against him. I endanger him, as is already clear, when I abuse him in the ways that I do.
Cleitus, I whisper so that no other can hear, forgive me. I have wronged you for the last time, but in the worst ways.
There is nothing else that I can say to him, not now. I see him when I sleep though. I can see his eyes in the dark corners that I pass. There is nothing I can do now though. Instead I continue to stare at him. Perhaps he will wake. I draw in a quick breath and then shut my eyes. I breathe in again, open my eyes, and take the torch. I lift it, step forward, and then I drop it underneath the pyre where the kindling is. Just like that orange flames leap up and begin to consume him. I have killed him, and now fire shall take him. What is to come after this shall be only worse. It will not be fixed for some time.
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A/N: I am sorry for the short chapter and delay in posting. I was recently out of town on business. Hope this quick chapter keeps you entertained, and intrigued. Next chapter will have sexual content. Beware.
Angstman: I guarantee you that Hephaestion has a plan, and you soon will see it unfold. Until then, yes, the words of the Oracle are very much present.
30SecondsToMars: I did write Alexander to come off as weak after he has killed Cleitus. However, to regain his honor and power he cannot be stupid or weak, and in the next few chapters you'll see an Alexander we are all used to.
Queendel: Hephaestion indefinitely is going to protect Alexander, and does know (as all others do) that Alexander cannot go on without him. You are right, his plan will be one that will foil any plans he has made with Cassander. Cassander is ruthless, yet when it comes to Hephaestion he seems to waver, which is all the better for Hephaestion's plan.
Kitten: Thank you for the review of Hephaestion. I am glad that you're loving his character as much as I am.
SimonO: Thanks for the review. I assure you that Hephaestion will not die. I really hate it when Hephaestion dies so I try to keep him alive in all of my fics. He'll definitely live in this one, I promise.
Arlad: Thank you for reading, and for your review. I always appreciate your comments. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the characters. As the plot thickens and begins to clear let me know what you think!
