Chapter 7
Nkosi finally gave in. He'd put it off for too long. With each day it was getting more difficult, so Nkosi decided that it was now or never. He saw his wife with a beaming smile as she turned and lay on the ground of their chambers. She didn't look back at him expectantly, but he saw something in her eyes, something that looked like fear. What was the smile there to hide the fear? Was she scared and didn't want to tell him, and if so, why? They knew each other well enough to trust the other, didn't they?
Before he came to her, he sniffed the air. There was no intoxicating smell to draw him in, no pheromones. He was not about to do this out of love, but duty. He loved her, yes, but only as a friend. Would they be different afterwards? Wasn't this supposed to happen to mates who did love each other in other ways than this? Wasn't that what his mother told him when he was younger? From what he was seeing now, it was as though Sauda did want this in her mind, but not her heart.
Nor in her soul, God… so… Should I? Should we even try this? She looks as scared as I feel…
Nkosi swallowed the lumps that gathered in his throat. He shook his head, and took on a facial expression that was him and wasn't. The look was that of a king who would do his duty, and that of a lion who did not want to take advantage of her. The whole thing felt sickening, dirty, and wrong. He shrugged off the look of a lion. He came to her, stood over her, and trembling, he carefully and slowly wrapped his jaws around her neck.
He closed his eyes, bracing himself and felt her do the same. He couldn't see it, but he imagined Sauda closing her own eyes, her front claws buried into the ground. In that instant, the lion in him took over and before he, or even she, knew what happened next he jumped away. His mouth was open, expressing the shock his eyes seemed to hold, his breathing hard and heavy. As he tried to get a grip on himself he watched Sauda turn her head.
With a grunt the Queen of the Eastern Valley rose from the ground and pointed a burning stare at her husband. "What was that about, Nkosi?" she asked as the fur along her back bristled. "I thought you wanted to. You said you were ready."
It took a few long beats of his pounding heart to answer. "S-Sauda…" he panted. "I… I-I'm sorry, but…" He glanced down at the ground for a moment, trying to process his thoughts. He couldn't believe what had happened, or why. "I…"
"What, Nkosi, what are you sorry for?" Impatience filled out through her tone. She wasn't concerned about him. She didn't care that he was breathing so hard that it looked as though he might collapse.
He swallowed. "I… I don't know why I did that, but…"
She put her head to the side and rolled her eyes. "Nkosi, do you want us to be mates or not?"
In truth, he didn't know, but he couldn't tell her that. "I... of course, I do. But Sauda –"
"Stop starting you sentences with 'but', Nkosi! You don't find me attractive?"
He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at her. "I never said that! I just… I'm not sure that we should. Don't you understand? It's me, it's not you. I think we were better off as… whatever we were, or are, to each other. And again, whatever that is, because I really don't know what you and I are, and we've known each other all our lives."
Before she could reply, Nkosi turned and left. She saw the hurt in his eyes. Clearly he was deeply torn about the situation.
She refused to let him see, but in her own way she, too, was hurt, which was why she showed it in anger. He didn't know, but there was a reason she wanted much to make their marriage official. Her ears fell. If he ever knew the truth, her position, her whole future would fall apart. But if one day, by some miracle, he was ready and something did happen she would have no reason to fear. And if that miracle happened, her future would be secure.
Still, even with that thought, her soul ached. Somewhere in the private places of her heart, she knew that miracle would never come. That fateful day when she was a cub, when she and her best friend drank from the poisoned waterhole, she had ruined her future.
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Upon waking, Radhiya asked for a private audience with the former queen. Seeing the look of urgency in Radhiya's eyes, Nadia nodded, and together they left the caves going to a place where they could speak alone. Radhiya was stunned to find herself at the waterhole that had near taken her daughter's life. But she reminded herself that Sauda chose to drink the poisonous water, as did her late friend Kali, and later Kali's mother. Even with the warnings about the waterhole, animals made a choice to disobey and drink it. Life, Radhiya knew, was about choice. You could either choose to have a good life, or live a life of pain and suffering. Choice… The word ran through Radhiya's mind until she remembered why she asked for this private audience.
It was time, she decided. After this she would lose Nadia's friendship. She could only hope her friend didn't tell the pride. Lord… I am so ashamed. I shouldn't have kept this in the dark and for nearly two years…
"Why did you want to see me privately, Radhiya?" Nadia asked.
In response, Radhiya sank to the ground in a miserable heap. It took her a while to speak. "Nadia… if I tell you, you will lose all friend-like love and trust in me…"
The old queen touched her shoulder with a paw. Her eyes were kind. "I won't. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't be mad, I promise."
Shuddering, Radhiya nodded and spoke, though she refused to meet eyes with the Queen Mother. "Sauda… Sauda can't have cubs."
The words twirled in Nadia's mind. What? What did she say? Sauda can't have – "What do you mean Sauda can't have cubs?"
Radhiya closed her eyes. "I mean, Sauda can't have cubs."
Nadia knew her hearing wasn't going sour. She was getting older, but not that much. She was only seven years! Plus she and Habari married when they were three, when Habari's parents still lived. After the death of her parent-in-laws, and Habari's coronation one week after, they waited a year to have cubs. She'd had Nkosi when she was four. Now her son was three, three in a half, a grown lion with a kingdom to take care of, a pride to provide for, and a wife… Radhiya's words came again and shaking her head she put her eyes on the lioness.
"How do you know that? Sauda is a healthy lioness."
Radhiya opened her eyes and stared at Nadia. "Will you let me explain?"
"Yes."
Radhiya ran her paws along the grass. Please, let me speak the words carefully. "As you know, Nadia, lionesses enter the change of life at an early age. I told Sauda all about it when she was nearly a year old. She listened intently and I answered her questions. She told me that when she felt her time approaching that she wanted to talk again." Radhiya fell silent.
With the silence, Nadia remembered the times she shared with her own late mother. Her mother was a magnificent lioness, secondary leader of the hunting party when Habari's parents dealt with kingdom politics. Back then, everyone worked as a team, each having their own specific duties. It was that way now, but it wasn't filled with the same sense of peace they'd been accustomed to. Now everything was bleak, filled with hesitation and reluctance.
Nadia shook herself. "Continue."
Radhiya ran her tongue over her lips. "One night I was lounging in a clearing and Sauda came to me saying, 'Mother, I'm ready to talk.' She told me that she didn't feel any different. There were no changes that she was aware of. I was perplexed and thought it was nothing." Radhiya shrugged. "That time can come later for some lionesses."
The former queen only nodded.
"A few months came and went. Then your son, my daughter, and Nyari all turned a year. When that happened I was sure Sauda would come into the change." Radhiya's ears and expression fell and her heart sank. "It didn't. I knew something was wrong and I should have gone to Rashid, but I believed that even he would have no idea what was happening." She shook her head. "So, instead of going to him, I reflected on anything Sauda may have done that the change did not come upon her." Radhiya paused, her stomach and heart churning. She felt sick, but forced herself to continue. "I remembered the day she and Kali drank from the poisoned waterhole and, in my mind, examined what happened to them. Kali drank fast, which probably caused her to slip from the world and pass away quickly. Sauda drank slowly and it caused her to slip from the world into a coma."
Nadia gave a puzzled look and went through Radhiya's last two sentences. Realization hit her. "My mother once told me that females who drank that water suffer side effects." Her voice became a whisper. "Such as the change…" Her breath caught in her throat, but she forced the words. "How old is Sauda?"
Radhiya swallowed. "She's three in a half, same as Nkosi and Nyari." She glanced down at the grass then back at Nadia. "If the change is gone–"
"Then Sauda can't have cubs," the former queen finished. She looked at Radhiya who nodded numbly. Neither lioness spoke. Nadia let the information sink in. Everything made sense. Nadia knew as well as anyone, that those who drank from the poisoned waterhole would either die or be harmed irrevocably. Never in her life did she expect that the waterhole would have this kind of effect on a female, no matter what species. The thought caused such an ache, Nadia felt her heart break. She remembered Masozi, and she glanced on the large grass grave where her friend had taken her own life by drinking the same poisonous liquid that took her daughter.
"Radhiya…" Nadia said at last. "You say that Sauda can't have cubs and the reason is caused by the damage of the poisoned water…" Unwillingly, her front claws came out. She clawed the grass, an unexpected form of anger welling up in her. "If this is true, then you've known about this for well over two years, which leads me to ask… Did Habari know?"
It was the question Radhiya didn't want to hear. She turned away but the words echoed. She had to answer. "No, he didn't. I never told him."
In an instant, Nadia was on her paws, the peacefulness gone, replaced with anger and hurt. "Why?" she asked, her eyes flashing. "Why didn't you tell him? And why did you consider the betrothal if you knew all this?!"
Radhiya didn't flinch. "You wanna know why?" She stood. "I didn't tell him because I knew he wouldn't go for it." She hung her head. "You have no idea what it was like for me those three months. You didn't watch your son struggle to regain his motor functions. You didn't have to watch him learn to speak, eat, or walk again like he was an infant in a cub's body. I had to watch my daughter go through that and it was heart wrenching! There were so many days and nights when I couldn't stand it!" She paused, panting.
Nadia didn't speak. A tense silence filled the air around them, the air growing sticky, stiff, and warm.
"But…" Radhiya's voice grew soft. "I was grateful Sauda lived. I knew it would be a long time before she was back to her old self but that wouldn't happen. The old Sauda died that day. In her place was someone I barely recognized both then and now. That coma changed her." Radhiya looked down at her paws then met eyes with Nadia again. "What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to betroth Sauda and Nkosi. It was Habari's idea. Yes, Nkosi helped Sauda get back into the spirit of playing, and I know Sauda will always be grateful. I am too. And I think that's what Habari saw. He saw how kind your son was to my daughter and hoped that they could build on it as they grew older. Habari approached me and asked how I would feel if they were betrothed. I knew Sauda was having the problems, but as I said earlier, I didn't think anything of it." With a heavy sigh, Radhiya flopped to the grass.
Nadia sat down. She idly wondered what it would have been like if Nkosi had disobeyed her and drank from the waterhole. How different would he be? Would the water have had similar problems for him? Would he be unable to feel that change, when he would be attracted to lionesses and the desire to have a family of his own? Would he have been able to try? The questions were too much, but she couldn't blame herself for wondering. Nor could she blame Radhiya, at least not so much. She was still angry and would be for awhile. Thinking of her son made her ask another question.
"Does Nkosi know? Did Sauda tell him?" Please, say yes. Say yes that she told him…
But her friend looked at her with tears. "No, Nkosi doesn't know, either. I don't think Sauda told him…"
At this, Nadia exploded. "What? Nkosi doesn't know! Why is that?"
A tear fell down Radhiya's muzzle and into the grass at her paws. "I don't know. I advised her to tell him, but in the end it was her decision. I wasn't about to force her."
Nadia shook her head. This day wasn't turning out the way she'd hoped. Hearing this would have been easier if Habari were with her. She missed him recently. How could she not? They were a part of each other's lives for seven years.
A moment passed and Nadia spoke again, her voice distant. "She has to tell him eventually, Radhiya. One of these days… he's going to be ready to truly be with her. When that happens and nothing else…"
Radhiya nodded miserably. "We won't have an heir…" She sobbed quietly. "Nadia, I am so sorry. This whole thing is my fault. I should have told Habari. I should have encouraged Sauda to tell Nkosi. I should have gone to Rashid. Maybe he could have done some investigating, maybe talked to the spirits… get a vision of the past, something!" She slammed a forepaw into the grass with a growl. "I should have known better!"
Nadia stared at her, seeing that Radhiya truly was sorry. She started thinking. If it had been her, or any of the pridal mothers, would they have done the same? It was clear to her now that Radhiya was trying to look out for her child who had to piece herself back together after a mistake that had nearly cost her life. Nadia would have done the same for Nkosi. Any of them would for their cubs. But, unlike Radhiya, she would have considered something like a betrothal, and would have asked the questions to others and herself.
"Radhiya… we all have a choice. You chose not to tell. Sauda chose not to tell, but now you have chosen to speak… after two years. Nothing can be changed. As Habari told you, once you agreed, the betrothal was a done deal…"
"Yes, I know. I just hope Sauda can tell Nkosi before he becomes ready."
Nadia ran a paw over the grass blades and nodded. "I hope so too."
"You hate me now, don't you?"
"No… You only wanted the best for Sauda after everything she went through as a cub…"
"Still, I…"
"No, Radhiya…"
Things happened for a reason. The two lionesses could only hope that Sauda told Nkosi the truth and that Nkosi had the heart to forgive and find some other way to have life beyond his own.
"Radhiya, you won't be upset if Nkosi had –"
"If Nkosi had cubs with another lioness…?" Radhiya sighed. "What choice will he have?" She managed a smile. "No, I won't be upset. He is my son-in-law."
Nadia smiled faintly. "And he is my son. I won't like it, but like you said," he shrugged, "he won't have a choice."
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Nkosi approached the shaman's tree only to see the monkey treating a wildebeest. The king stood with another, a male whom, Nkosi guessed, saw whatever had happened and brought his friend to Rashid.
The wildebeest saw the lion ruler and bowed. "Good afternoon, your majesty."
"Afternoon, what seems to be the problem here?"
"My friend and I were running from your hunting party when he slipped and fell. I went back to see if he was alright and saw that he grasped his left foreleg. As I tended to him I saw some of your lionesses stopping and lowering themselves into the grass to watch. Not wanting to risk hunting him for fear of infection, and not wanting to come near me as I had a vicious look on my face, they moved on." The wildebeest turned to the king, his eyes pained. "I would not have hurt them, sire, but I wouldn't let them hunt my injured friend, either."
Nkosi listened in silence and nodded in understanding. "Yes… I am sorry for your friend." The look in his eyes told the truth. "Will he be alright?"
"As soon as Rashid is finished… He sure knows his work."
"Yes, he does, which is why I am here. I'm not hurt, I just need his counsel."
"Is everything well with you and your pride?"
Nkosi was stunned. He never thought the animals cared, at least not the animals who weren't the representatives. "Mostly, yes… As for me, I'm not so sure…"
The wildebeest was quiet for a moment, trying to think of something respectful to say. He had to be careful since this lion was king. "Whatever ails you, my lord, Rashid can help. He does have the ear of heaven…"
Nkosi looked at the animal, seeing the look of fire look in his eyes. He felt the corners of his mouth lift and he smiled. "Yes, he does. I thank you for your certainty."
"My honor, sire, my honor…" The wildebeest dipped his head.
A few minutes later, the two animals were off to their part of the kingdom. Before leaving the wildebeest met eyes with the king and bowed, respect shining through his eyes. His injured companion leaned against him, the left foreleg wrapped in a leaf from the hoof to the midsection.
Nkosi bowed in return and when the animals were gone, he turned to Rashid. "I'm glad you're home."
Rashid set his supplies near the base of the tree. "So am I. I had a feeling you'd come." He tilted his head. "You don't look well, and it's not a physical thing, at least not on the outside. Its inside, isn't it? It's not the kingdom; it's the pride, or rather, your wife."
The king huffed. "Apparently she's my wife in name only, always will be."
Rashid waited.
Nkosi continued. "I tried… last night. I was close, but I jumped from her." He looked down, shaking his head. "I couldn't do it. I might not ever be able to."
Rashid rubbed his hands together then asked, "Sire, this may sound embarrassing but have you ever felt anything toward another lioness?"
The question brought disgust, but he answered truthfully. "No, Rashid. I may be king, but unless the lioness wants to have cubs... I mean, I could with another lioness, I think, but I wouldn't want to. Duty or not, morally, it's not right."
The monkey got up, paced in a small circle then faced the king, his stare strong and serious. "Nkosi, I mean, sire… I have good news then, it's not you. It's not your fault. I know what the problem."
Nkosi's brow furrowed. "What is it?"
"You're not attracted to Sauda. Love isn't just about mating. It's about being attracted to someone who makes your heart skip a beat. It's about respect, companionship, and feeling. There's more but those I mentioned are the starting points."
"Okay, so what do I do? How can I be attracted to someone that I'm clearly not attracted to in any way? Sauda is beautiful, don't get me wrong, but even that won't help. And I think, in her way all her own, she's scared, too. She just doesn't want to admit it, doesn't want to come off as weak."
Rashid thought about that and agreed. "That could be it."
"So, what do we do?"
The shaman put a hand on the king's shoulder. "You talk about it. You work through it. You spend time together and not as king and queen, but as the friends you used to be before any of this started."
Nkosi raised an eyebrow. "And if that works?"
"Then you both have a chance to really, truly, fall in love."
"And if it doesn't?"
Rashid smiled gently. "Just take this nice and slow. And be patient, Nkosi. Practice patience. It will come. One way or another, it will come."
Nkosi looked ahead to the setting sun. He felt a hope in the shaman's words and felt himself smile. "You are wise, Rashid. Don't ever doubt that again."
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Sauda returned home with the hunting party behind her. They got a good kill: three wildebeest to last a week, or longer. Sauda smiled. She loved hunting. The adrenaline was always an incredible feeling. Every time she charged at prey she felt empowered, strong. She wished she could feel that way all the time.
The rest of the pride lounged around the caves, talking. When Sauda walked up, some bowed their heads, but no one rose to greet her. Seeing this, she growled.
"Is this how you treat your queen?" Her green eyes snapped, her growl getting deeper.
Muttering, the lionesses rose and bowed. None of them enjoyed it. Their companions in the hunting party, who still stood behind Sauda, knew that much. If it had been them, and every now and then it was, they wouldn't have enjoyed it either. They didn't anyway. Being around the queen gave them a sense of uneasiness and nervousness. Even with Nadia's teaching, it was clear that Sauda never put the teachings into practice.
Sauda smirked when they did as told, then turned to the hunting party. "Leave the kills here. Go ahead and feast on them."
The members of the party looked at each other confused. Normally they waited for the king, or when the Queen Mother gave them permission to eat. A lioness from the front of the hunting party spoke. "But, my lady, we usually eat when the king comes home. Or, when his mother tells us it's okay whenever the king is late."
Sauda snarled at her. "I am queen, and I, too, have a say in when we eat. Neither my husband nor my mother-in-law is here at the moment. And that means I'm in charge, and I am telling all of you to go and eat."
Both sides muttered and the lioness spoke again, her voice hesitant. "Yes, but, what about the blessing? His majesty always gives a blessing before we eat, even his mother does. Surely," she pawed the grass, "surely, you know that. Will you bless the meal? Pray for –"
"Pray for the souls of these animals you and I helped these other lionesses bring down? Why bother? Their souls are in eternal rest. Why pray for something that could not be helped? Why pray for something that is essential to our survival? These animals knew they wouldn't live long. They know the balance."
The lioness would have spoken again, but all words died. Her face was pale and shocked. She opened her mouth and then closed it, bowing her head.
"Anyone else want to comment?" Sauda asked, looking at the hunting party then turning her eyes to the other lionesses. No one dared to move or speak. "Alright, and now, as I said before, eat the kills. I'll be in my chambers. I'm not hungry."
Without waiting for a response Sauda walked into the caves. She entered the royal chambers and lied down but didn't close her eyes. Her mind was abuzz, her thoughts running rampant at a pace she didn't understand. She forced her mind to calm down. She tried to relax which didn't help. She had to sort through the thoughts.
What's wrong with me?
It was then she knew. The night before: with her and Nkosi. He'd said he was ready to really be with her. But her response wasn't filled with the passion and near lust she'd expressed in the past. Back then when she thought she was ready, he wasn't. He was hesitant, unsure. When he looked at her he saw her as a creature with feelings, feelings that seemed to focus on him. Were they really that opposite, that much different? What could be done to get them on the same path?
Sauda replayed the previous night over in her head. Nkosi had been ready. She had too, but her heart was different. In her heart she felt frightened and wanted to tell him, "No, Nkosi, I've changed my mind…" That night, as the question ran through her she imagined the look in his eyes, the surprised look she gave him when things were opposite – When she was ready, and he wasn't. He would've wanted a reason, and like him, she wouldn't have been able to give it. His reasons for not surrendering on their honeymoon was probably different compared to hers.
Emotions filled her body. Her paws twitched and she buried her head in her forepaws. "God, I can't tell him! I can't!" she sobbed. Tears run down her face and she growled. If it wasn't for that one mistake, she'd have no reason to continually throw herself at him. It disgusted her and she chided herself nearly every night for trying to arouse him. It made her feel dirty, low and worthless. She knew the reasons for it all. That fateful day at the waterhole changed her whole life and his as well. Nkosi spent nearly all his free time, aside from fun with Nyari, helping her recover. What he did all those years ago, he did out of kindness. If only time could go back. If only she could tell Kali that drinking the water wasn't a good idea, Kali would still be alive… and she wouldn't be in this awkward position.
She never blamed her mother for the betrothal. Her mother nearly lost her. To Sauda it made sense that her mother did what she did, even though she knew her daughter's problem. Still, her mother wanted to give it a chance.
Sauda whispered in the still quiet chamber, "If I tell Nkosi, he'll be angry. I just hope he doesn't –"
"Hope Nkosi doesn't what?" said a voice from behind her.
Sauda turned to see her mate standing in the cave's entrance. She rose and shook the dust from her body. "Nkosi," she said almost brightly, "how long have you been standing there?"
He smiled. "Not long, but you seem distressed. Are you alright?"
The concern on his face was deep and genuine, the way it had been years before when she was in the coma. Her mother later told her that he'd come and visit them, asking if there was anything he could do. The fact that he still had that sweet cubhood innocence made her smile inside.
She shook her head. "I'm fine." She took in a deep breath. She had to tell him while they were alone. She pawed the ground with a paw and looked up at him, hoping, praying, that he would understand.
"But," she said slowly, "I have something important to tell you."
He saw the look of desperation in her eyes and sat down. He had to hear her out if he wanted to start over and build a relationship with her. "I'm listening."
Sauda stepped up forward, her heart making quick staccato beats, her nerves rising. In what seemed like forever, she said the four words that would send both their worlds crashing.
"I can't have cubs," she said matter-of-factly.
Nkosi stared at her blankly. He thought he hadn't heard. "I-I'm sorry, Sauda…" he stammered. "But, did you say you can't have cubs."
"It's not something I'm proud of," she mumbled, casting her eyes to the ground.
"Uh-huh… And…" He got up. "And… And how do you know that you can't? We've never even been together."
She told him and the words sent him spiraling. He felt dizzy, the words like loose rocks falling into the canyon of his mind. "The waterhole, the one you and Kali drank out of when we were cubs? How would –"
"Think about it, Nkosi. Kali died because she drank the water fast. I didn't, I drank it slow, and fell into a coma. I came out of it and thanks to you I was able to enjoy my cubhood again, but did you ever wonder, as we were growing up, why I never approached you when that time for a lioness comes? You know what I'm talking about."
He furrowed his brow. "Well, I thought that you weren't interested…" Another realization hit him hard. He turned away but when he looked at her again, his crystal blue eyes were hard. She expected that. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Our parents could have ended the betrothal. We wouldn't be in the awkward position we're in if you had mentioned this sooner!" Nkosi sighed, the frustration much more than he could take.
Sauda looked down. "Nkosi, you're the only lion born in our generation in the Eastern Valley. A lion has a need to be with a lioness. It's a part of nature and the way we were made… If we weren't betrothed, and had fallen in love by ourselves, would you have wanted to be with a lioness that is unable to physically be with you?"
The question caught him off guard. He couldn't answer. He turned from her again, the words paining him. It was more than just mating now. This threatened the entire future of the Eastern Valley, and his family's legacy.
"Does anyone else know about this?" he asked with clench teeth and tightly shut eyes.
She wanted to say that her mother did, but that would allow Nkosi to turn on her. She wouldn't do that. Her mother had done so much for her through the years as it was. "No, no one else knows," she said with a quiet and sad tone.
Nkosi's heart dropped into his stomach. He swallowed and refused to meet her eyes. "Then… this changes everything for us both…" His voice was distant, barely a whisper. "You cannot have cubs…" He clenched his teeth tighter, grinding them. "Sauda, the pride needs an heir to the throne…"
"I didn't ask for this, Nkosi."
At last, he whirled around, his face angry, his eyes snapping. "You didn't? You drank from that poisonous waterhole! Your mother warned you about it and you went ahead and drank from it anyway! You could've died! Kali died! You suffered a coma, and because of that one mistake, the water took away the one thing we could have shared if we had fallen in love ourselves! It took away the one thing that could've given us life beyond our own!"
"Nkosi, we could still have a life together. Cubs…"
"Cubs, Sauda? The pride has no cubs! The kingdom needs an heir or heiress to rule after me. I will not have my family's bloodline end!"
She took a step back. "What are you saying?"
He groaned and roared. Hopefully, no one outside heard. "What I'm saying," he began, his voice a hiss, "… is that though we are married and you cannot have cubs–"
In that moment she understood and narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't! Nkosi, you married me, no one else."
"Yes, but I would love to be a father instead of just a king and husband…" His eyes held the deep pain of the statement's truth.
She looked down. "You never told me you wanted to be a father…"
"You never asked. You never told me that the water did this to you." His voice was a low growl. "Then again you probably didn't know, but still, you made a choice that day when we were cubs, and now we're all going to pay for it. There will be no cubs from us, no new royal blood to rule when I step down."
Sauda was quiet. Why was he switching the conversation over to him and his bloodline? "Nkosi," she began carefully. "Do you understand now why I've been trying–?"
"Yes, but that doesn't change anything." He turned from her again, tears leaking out of his eyes, his face filled with anguish and sorrow.
"Nkosi, where does this leave us?" she asked softly.
Slowly, he met her eyes and saw the pain. This had to have hurt her as badly as him. He walked over and laid his head on her shoulder.
"I'm not sure, Sauda. I… I don't know if we even have a future. We were just friends before this, and will be after it."
Not waiting for a response, he left the chamber, his head low, his body and heart heavy.
Sauda didn't go after him. She just stood there, her eyes in shock. A moment later, she carefully lowered herself to the ground and wept. She knew now that one little mistake could affect the present and future of others besides her.
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The royal advisor arrived at the base of the shaman's tree. There, as he was told by the lioness messenger, was the shaman and the king, the king with a grim expression. The advisor came and bowed.
"You called for me, my lord…" said the cheetah with an elegant head bow.
Nkosi nodded weakly. "Yes. I need an opinion from both of you. Rashid did the ancient traditions, or laws say anything about an unfit queen? Like, say a queen who cannot have cubs?"
The monkey thought for a long moment as he searched his memory and then told the king what he knew.
"… So, basically sire, you have two options. Option one: You can divorce the queen, and find someone new to take over the leadership and who can have cubs." He shrugged. "An out with the old, in with the new kind of thing…"
Nkosi nodded, and Rashid continued.
"Option two: You can stay married to the queen, and still find someone who can have cubs." The shaman paused. "That option is a little tricky, hard to maintain, especially if the lionesses know each other. There can be jealousy… But if the queen is unable to have cubs then option two is more… safer, I guess. I mean, you're the king, right? A king's duty to his pride is to give lionesses, those who are within cub bearing age, cubs. It is necessary for the pride to continue…" Rashid rubbed the sudden tension out of the back of his neck. "Some queens, or so I'm told, understand that, and hold no hard feelings to their mates or the lionesses, or the cubs that are born, even if the queen herself does have cubs by her husband…"
Nkosi stared at the grass. "Then… even with all the traditions and laws, these options are still usable?"
Rashid nodded. "Yes, they are, sire…"
The advisor sat still and quiet, then, "My lord, why do you ask these things…?"
The king's eyes still held the recent pain he'd just experienced. "I ask this because…" He looked at Rashid. "Sauda has told me that she cannot have cubs. She's never even had 'that time' lionesses get. She said that when she drank the poisoned water… That it tampered with –" Again, tears leaked out of his eyes and he couldn't stop them. He cried quietly.
Rashid was shocked, knocked back onto his feet. "The water," he whispered. He lowered his head and put a hand over his face. "How could I have been so stupid? I should have known that the water would have had some kind of effect, and not just the coma Sauda suffered…"
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known, none of us could, yet now…"
The cheetah pawed the grass. "Wow… This… Wow… Nkosi, I mean, sire, I… I don't know what to say…"
"Me neither…" Nkosi turned from them. "I should have known that there was something other than my lack of attraction to her. My mind knew something was off with her, that she was keeping something but I never…" He swallowed hard. "Rashid, you say that there are two options to this… Even before I asked, I began to sort through my mind, mainly on my way coming here…" He turned to the advisor and shaman, his eyes serious. "Sauda has been through a lot in her life. Her news changes everything for us, but it doesn't change the real fact. The real fact is that this kingdom needs an heir or an heiress, someone of royal blood to rule."
Neither the monkey nor cheetah spoke.
Nkosi continued. "I will not divorce her. I said that I wasn't sure she and I had a future and maybe we don't, but she is queen, and I do love her as a friend. She and I will stay married, but I believe, with every fiber of my being… that I will find a lioness who is near my age and healthy and who can bear cubs. Through her, maybe, with God's blessing, I will have a son or daughter to succeed me and my family legacy."
