It's been three years (whoops!) since I last updated this fic and a lot has happened, including the long-awaited movie announcement. I hope to finish this fic before the movie comes out in August 2019 (I also have another Artemis Fowl WIP, Thicker than Water, about Root-and-Vinyáya's backstory, but I'll settle for posting another chapter of that one before the movie release).

This chapter covers the 2nd part of chapter 7, "Mulch" (you may recognize lines from the text), before things really start diverging from canon. I've tried to keep things plausible, but I welcome your feedback on how well I managed that (as well as any other comments :)

Thanks for reading!

October 31 2018


"What are you doing here?" said Root.

"Prisoner delivery," said Vinyáya serenely.

Root stared at the spectacle of Diggums getting led out by the squad of operatives in black, from a shuttle which was clearly from Flight instead of from the penitentiary system, and put two and two together. "Could I talk to you for a moment?" he said finally.

"Certainly," Vinyáya said. "Carry on," she added to her team.

Root led her inside the closest empty shuttle — conveniently, the one Feldspar had piloted. He emerged from the cockpit at the sound of footsteps, but he half-saluted and retreated again once he saw the thundercloud on Root's face. She and Root were left alone in the empty passenger compartment of the shuttle.

"Why are you here?" Root asked again. "If you're here to tell me I should let Holly be blue-rinsed—"

Vinyáya held his gaze.

Root looked away first. "Right," he said, a tinge of apology in his voice.

"Has there been talk that you should let that happen?" Not even Councilor Frond, the leader of the conservative faction in fairy government, had suggested that — though of course he wouldn't have said so to Vinyáya's face.

"Lieutenant Cudgeon suggested as much earlier."

"Ah. I'm sorry." Root's first, best friend, though by all accounts they'd since grown apart — that must have hurt. "Under no circumstances will I let Holly be blue-rinsed. You have my word."

Some of the tension went out of Root's shoulders, and he ran a hand over his face wearily.

"How are you holding up?" said Vinyáya. "It's been a long enough day on my end, and that was without the time-stop fatigue on top."

"Well enough," Root said, grimacing. "I don't suppose you're here to take over the situation? That would certainly fend off the vultures."

"Not exactly. I have been vested with certain authority to act, should the circumstances warrant it, but for now I'm here to assist and observe."

"I see," said Root — he almost sounded disappointed that this was still his circus to run — then, a beat later: "'Assist?'"

"With your permission, my people will be running some surveillance on the side. This gambit with Diggums is a good idea, but I can do you one better and get you full electronic communications access inside the house."

"That would be very helpful. If we can find Holly and determine her status, that gives us a much freer hand. And I'd certainly much rather work with you than with Diggums. Honestly, why did you bother bringing him up at all? He can't have been cooperative."

"He wasn't," Vinyáya said dryly. "I won't bore you with the technical details, but there are some things are easier with a live operative on scene. Nothing's quite the same as a good opposable thumb."

"I trust you." Root cleared his throat. "Do you know anything we don't? Anything else, I should say."

"Fowl was involved in that business with Koboi during the Spelltropy epidemic a few years back, but he was mind-wiped after. We" — and this was the collective we, referring to Eight's whole operation — "suspect Fowl was in contact with a sprite exiled to the surface, one Aeolia Rishel, who may have given him his information about the People this time around. Presumably his end goal here is once again trying to raise capital to find his missing father. We have people looking for both Rishel and Fowl, Sr."

"Fowl has been involved with the People before?" said Root, utterly appalled.

"Considering the implications of what Koboi was trying to do, you can understand why we hushed it up." Though clearly Eight had done a better job of hiding the first Fowl Affair from fairy society than from Fowl himself. If not for the outbreak of magical plague, Fowl would have been magically bound to ignorance, but magic had been in short supply then, and one Mud Boy was low on the list of priorities. The technological mind-wipe they'd used instead had worked, but not as well as magic would have. Eight would not be making that mistake again.

"We beat Fowl once, I trust we can do it again." He paused, then added carefully, "But he thinks he can escape the time-stop." It wasn't quite a question, as if Root was afraid of what he might hear in response.

"Yes," said Vinyáya, in acknowledgement — not quite an answer to his unspoken question. This was classified beyond even Root's clearance: time-stops were key to the LEP's current operations policy. The LEP was simply not prepared to deal with the consequences if the news got out. Eight's warlocks had cast the strongest possible magical geas on the secret to prevent it from being spread; Vinyáya could feel it twinging ominously in reaction to even the veiled disclosure she had made. Presumably it hadn't stopped Fowl from finding out because he was human, and thus overlooked by the parameters of the spell.

Root paled. "You mean — "

"It doesn't matter," Vinyáya said firmly. "It only matters that Fowl believes it, and is behaving accordingly. That's what he was trying to get at with his line about 'none of your race has permission to enter while he's still alive.'"

Root shook his head, obviously trying to get his mind off the implications. "You've certainly been following along with events topside."

She smiled a sphinx's smile.

"I'm glad you're here," said Root abruptly.

Vinyáya met his eyes. "We'll get Holly out. In Danu's name, I swear to you, no harm will come to her."

"Thank you," Root said. He sighed. "Well, shall we get on with it?"


The assorted LEP and Eight personnel came to attention as Vinyáya and Root entered Foaly's designated Ops shuttle. Best to establish chain of command now; as Councilor she outranked Root, and as head of Section Eight her personnel there reported directly to her, but Root was still in command of this field situation. So she looked to Root.

"At ease," Root said. "Foaly, how are we with Diggums?"

"I've wired him up with an iris-cam and a mic. He's waiting outside and ready for you."

"Right. Commander Vinyáya, do you and your team — Euclase, is it? — need anything before we send Diggums in?"

Eight's lead tech on this side of the time-stop was an elf named Euclase; his specialty, unlike Cirrus', was in technology. He had set up his kit in the Ops shuttle and had had commandeered several of Foaly's screens to serve as a display some of the screens for his equipment: besides the Eight-issued tracker in Diggums' bloodstream, he was sending in a flock of BIRDs.

They weren't actual birds, of course. The Biphasic Infiltration Reconnaissance Drones were miniaturized semi-autonomous magical/technical constructs that were closer in form and size to insects, but the bird metaphor had proved more popular among Eight's R&D staff. A BIRD could perform discreet surveillance on a target with full audio/video broadcast; if being directly controlled by an operator, it could be used to interface with technological systems (certainly a human system should be no issue) or as a proxy for magical spells. Each unit was no larger than a grain of sand and ran completely silently, thanks to a magical, not mechanical, propulsion system.

"I can send my BIRDs with Diggums as he tunnels in," Euclase said. "Once he's inside the manor, I advise you have Diggums wait while we assess the situation and get into Fowl's security system. Diggums can then be directed through the house as needed."

Root thought it over, nodded. "I'll send him off. You do what you need to."

Vinyáya followed Root out of the shuttle; Foaly, after one last lingering, covetous glance at Euclase's console, trailed after.

Diggums was waiting, still cuffed, in the shadow of a shuttle. Some Retrieval officers led him over.

"Look who's finally turned up," said Diggums. "I heard you wanted to see me, Julius."

"That's Commander Root to you," snapped Root.

"Commander, now. I heard that. Clerical error, was it?"

Root's jaw worked dangerously. Vinyáya decided to step in: they didn't have the time to waste, time-stop or not. She cleared her throat pointedly, and Diggums' attention snapped to her.

"Ha ha, just a little joke. Sorry about that," Diggums spluttered. "Commander Vinyáya! I, uh, didn't see you there."

Root looked between them, but said nothing about it. "Diggums, one of my officers is being held prisoner inside that manor. Broadly, your objectives are to find out how this Fowl person knows so much about us, and to find Captain Short and do what you can for her. More specifically, you are to tunnel inside and then wait for further instruction."

The dwarf blinked. "I don't get it. You want me to get inside and then… not do anything?"

"Yes," said Root, through gritted teeth. "Need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know yet."

"… Okay then." Diggums squinted and tapped a foot on the ground. "I don't like the lie of the land here. I smell limestone. That means a solid rock foundation. There might not be a way in."

Foaly trotted over. "I've done a scan. The original structure is based totally on rock, but some of the later extensions stray on to clay. The wine cellar in the south wing appears to have a wooden floor. It should be no problem for someone with a mouth like yours."

"All right, then," said Diggums with a sigh. He opened the back flap on his tunneling pants.

Vinyáya took that as a cue to return to the command shuttle. Some things even Eight did not pay her well enough for.

Foaly and Root entered the shuttle again a few minutes later, Foaly looking rather worse for wear. He looked like he desperately wanted to ask about what Euclase was doing, but a pointed glare from Root sent him back to the station monitoring the dwarf's iris-cam and vital signs.

Euclase's BIRDs were hitching a ride into the manor on Diggums' shirt. Judging from the code spilling over the screen of Euclase's console, he was programming the flock to split up once inside: some to find and follow the Mud Men inside, some to monitor Fowl's security system, some to find Captain Short, and some to monitor Diggums himself.

They watched as the dwarf tunneled his way into the Fowls' wine cellar. The dwarf emerged among the barrels, snuck his way through the cellar, climbed the stairs by the door, and then picked the lock using one of his beard hairs. He opened the door, revealing a hallway in the main house proper.

"Tell him to stop, please," said Euclase. The commandeered screens turned on, displaying the video feeds from the different groups of birds as they made their way through the house. One of them showed a split-screen with all of the video from Fowl's security system. Euclase must have hacked in. Vinyáya leaned closer, trying to find Holly —

"How are you getting that?" said Foaly enthusiastically. "That looks like live footage. Are you interfacing with his system physically somehow? But I didn't see you send anything in..."

Euclase winked. "Trade secret."

"Come on, just a hint?" It was obvious what Foaly would be doing with his R&D budget for the next decade or so.

"This is all well and good," Diggums broke in, "but could we get on with it? I'm a little exposed here, you know."

"Get back into that cellar and close the door behind you," Root snapped. "We'll tell you when you're needed."

"Seriously? You dragged me topside for this?" said Diggums, before Foaly turned off the dwarf's mic. And not a moment too soon: Diggums was taking the opportunity to pass wind, presumably in response to being cut off. That wine cellar would never be the same.

According to Fowl's feeds, there were three Mud Men in the manor: Fowl himself, watching the monitor banks in his study; his bodyguard, on patrol through the manor; and the bodyguard's sister, washing vegetables at the sink in the kitchen. Captain Short herself was in a concrete cell somewhere, probably underground, and she was — smashing her bed onto the ground?

"She's alive!" Root's voice was uncharacteristically gruff. Foaly was doing a little shuffle that was presumably supposed to be a dance.

"Alive and well, thank Frond," said Vinyáya.

Euclase's control wands danced through the holographic interface of his console. From the video feed, one of the BIRDs had found Holly in her cell, and was now hovering safely out of range of the bedframe. A few gestures later, and then Euclase said, "I've looped the footage from the camera in Captain Short's cell. We're on an open audio channel to her now."

Foaly clearly wanted to ask about how Euclase had done this, but managed, with great and obvious difficulty, to restrain himself.

"Captain Short?" said Root loudly into the microphone. "Captain Short, can you hear me?"

"Commander Root?" said Short, in confusion. "Where are you — I don't understand—"

"There's a, uh, communications device hovering in your cell right now. We've also knocked out Fowl's cameras in your cell, so he can't see or hear us. Holly, what's your status?"

"I'm almost there," Short said, a seeming non sequitur. They watched, totally mystified, as Holly picked up the bed and slammed it onto the ground again, and again; then she knelt down, murmuring something that Euclase's BIRD couldn't quite pick up. Surely she wasn't — but yes, there were blue sparks of magic playing over her body now. Somehow she had managed to complete the Ritual.

"Captain Short!" Root shouted.

"Reporting for duty, sir. I had the acorn from earlier tucked in my boot, and I was able to use the bed to get through the cement of my cell." She was smiling, before the expression slid off her face. "Sir! You have to know — they dosed me with a truth serum. That's how Fowl knows everything. I told him about the hostage fund myself. And somehow he's learned to read Gnommish."

Vinyáya seethed. Fowl dared

"No, Holly!" said Root. "It wasn't you. I have reliable reports that Fowl got his information from other sources."

Foaly glanced over at Vinyáya; this was the first the centaur had heard of this. Vinyáya nodded.

"Oh," said Short, somewhat doubtfully. She rubbed her face wearily, but when she raised her head again, she was utterly transformed. Captain Short was back and ready for duty. "Sir, I'm under eyeball orders not to leave the house, and I doubt I'll be able to mesmerize him into letting me go. How should I proceed?"

"Holly, we'll get you out," said Root. "We can definitely let you out of the cell — " this was half a question directed at Euclase, who nodded — "and after that, since we have access to Fowl's security system, we can keep you away from him and his bodyguard."

"We can use Diggums to get your equipment to you, too," said Foaly. "It'll be a whole new crunchball match once Fowl sees you with a Neutrino."

"You brought Mulch Diggums up here?" Short was almost laughing. Vinyáya tuned their conversation out so she could think. It was all well and good for Short to regain her magic and be released from her cell, and even better if they managed to arm her again. But after all that, she would still be under direct orders to stay inside the house. It all came down to Frond's geas on dwellings, which was a question of magic, not technology; Vinyáya had an idea or two about how to get around that, but nothing she'd be willing to bet an officer's life on.

"I need to talk to Cirrus," she said. Eight's top magical strategist was still circling outside the time-stop.

"Wing Commander?" said Short incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

Vinyáya ignored this, heading out of the command shuttle. Euclase could open up a connection to Cirrus, but he was handling enough already. She would ask Feldspar to make the connection from the terminal in his shuttle. As one of Eight's agents in Wing, his shuttle had the specialized equipment needed to call out of a time-stop.

As Feldspar set up the call, Vinyáya slotted in her earpiece and considered where to start. Certainly Short regaining her magic gave them a broader range of options.

"Cirrus? Can you hear me?"

"Commander Vinyáya," said Cirrus, his voice uncharacteristically urgent. "Fowl's mother is alone and unconscious in the estate on this time of the time-stop. What are your orders?"

A number of things fell into place. The way forward was suddenly very clear.

"Stay where you are. I'll come to meet you," Vinyáya said tersely, before she closed the connection and stood. Feldspar looked up, startled.

"If Julius asks for me, tell him I'm doing him a favor. He'll appreciate this one more than he did Diggums."

"What…?"

Vinyáya smiled predatorily. Her PR consultant would not have approved. "Don't you think it's time we gave Fowl a taste of his own medicine?"