And I'm back with my end of the week update.
Thank you to all of you who reviewed and alerted for last chapter, you're all champs.
Now, buisness. Technically I freelanced this and to be honest I'm so scared. I wasn't able to watch 'Never Again' in the entire two weeks I wrote this and even when I was editing the past day or two so alot of this came from my memory of what happened and I owe the whole script work to - . / so I owe my life to them right now.

Other than that, I'm really not happy with this. But I'll leave it all to your amazing judgement so I can fiddle with something to go inbetween this and 'Memento Mori'.


Part 6
Never Again

Mulder was in a rush that morning, the high schooler he paid to babysit Danica on a few occasions agreed to skip out on school that morning if he paid her double, he needed someone to watch over Danica desperately and took the teenagers compromise quickly his meeting with Skinner couldn't be missed.

The meeting over his vacation time and pay took longer than Mulder expected he only had a few minutes to rush down to the basement before Amy would get truly pissed with him and double the pay yet again.

He hurried into the basement office, his steps stopped when he noticed his partner was already there. Scully hadn't paid any mind to him walking in the door; instead she stayed where she was sat, his nameplate twirling between her fingers. Not having time to ask what her problem was, nor at this point caring, the two over the past few days since his return with Danica had strained to keep even the most work influenced conversations flowing.

He moved right past her to a filing cabinet nearest to his desk, it was there he started talking. "I made a last ditch effort to get out of it," He was mostly talking to himself she had no idea what he was talking about, nor had she cared, her mind was in a distant place as she played with his nameplate. "But the Bureau is holding fast to its Federal Employees Vacation Policy." He was sifting through the filing cabinets contents as he mumbled something about eight weeks vacation time and no pay. "I don't like it, but I got to do it. I got to pay the rent. Danica and I got to eat, not to mention paying the babysitter. That kid I swear has me wrapped around her little finger. Amy will have that car before summer break."

Scully did chuckle at that comment, she knew exactly who he was talking about. She was the same Amy who lived in his building and was often knocking on doors offering to do simple tasks for simple pay. Most people turned her away but Mulder was a sucker for her blue eyes, and well, her grandmothers chocolate brownies.

Even though, she'd laughed, Scully still offered no comment, nor had she desired to entertain his conversation, she had one of her own she wanted to initiate. "Part of me can't help thinking this is just another way to get me out of here. But it's only a week, and I think my mother is genuinely interested in meeting Danica. Besides you'll be here to keep an eye on things for me, so here are a few things to keep an eye on while I'm gone." He pulled out the selected files, three in total, the cases individual and with no real X-File tie, that way she wouldn't get into too much worry-some trouble while he was gone. He knew she could fend for her own, but he also knew the X-Files could be unpredictable.

"Why don't I have a desk?" She asked, her voice confident, yet far off as he handed over the files and she just started at them. Her question was out of the blue and had completely caught him off guard.

He was taken aback. They hadn't spoken much in two days and now, while he was leaving for a week she was asking about a desk. Wasn't everything else they had down there good enough? It was suffice enough to say for four years. "What do you mean?" He looked around the small office. "I always assumed that was your area." He pointed behind him, the small glass wall separating the more formal office to the small science station that they rarely used.

"Back there." Her voice was wistful and she kept all question out of it. He was annoyed that she was playing with him like this. He knew it was because of what he'd done, bringing Danica into his life. Was she jealous? She had to have been.

"Okay, so we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move around here but we can put them really close together face to face, maybe we can play some Battleship." He was being sarcastic and it was written across her face that she got the message.

"Where are you going?" She asked actual interest in her voice as she continued to play with his nameplate.

"My mothers. Well, I'm intending my mothers. We spoke on the phone last night, she showed promising interesting in wanting to meet Danni, this makes for a perfect time for a trip. Saves my mother having to venture out here for us." Scully smiled softly, he had a smile on his own face, one of excitement. He was excited for his "daughter" to meet his mother.

"What did you tell her?" She asked again, surely Teena Mulder wouldn't be all that excited herself if her son was messing in illegal affairs and wanted her help, much like he had done Scully.

"That Danica is my daughter. Mom knew Carly for a short time, long enough to know she disapproved and when Carly left she was pleased, so it'll be easy enough to tell her that lie."

Scully raised a brow, "Carly?" He'd never mentioned that name in her presence before, nor had she had any recollection of meeting a Carly with any connection to him. Sensing he didn't want to talk about it and respecting that fact Scully moved back onto the only topic that was ever safe with them. Work. "So what is it you want me to keep an eye on?"

Mulder moved on quickly, he wanted to tell her about Carly, but he'd kept that to himself for far too long, it was hard to share with new people, and it never had any matter of importance. He continued to talk about the informant they'd spoken to the night before, slipping in another jab to her self esteem. "In the future, I'll make sure that all those people being interviewed provide you with a multi-media laser show to keep your interest maintained." She wanted to flinch at his comment, to show him that she was hurt by his words, but it was the same emptiness that filled her the night before, that'd over taken her that morning.

Something was wrong, and he still hadn't seemed to notice. "In any case his name is Sevlov Pudovkin. He's a Russian immigrant with a doctorate in astronautical engineering. He and several other contacts worked at a military space center in the Republic of Karelia. They smuggled out reverse-engineered reports of two alien craft which crashed and were retrieved from the Sea of Barents."

"And these reports are for sale?"

"At a high price, yeah."

Scully hummed, she wasn't believing it, the man they had spoken to last night was a liar. He'd been making the whole thing up based off of a television program. "Have you confirmed the identity of these two individuals?

"That's your assignment while I'm gone." She wasn't pleased with him, it was a game of cat and mouse and the mouse had yet again outsmarted the cat. "I want you to run an INS check and a Bureau NCIC check on these individuals." He handed over the files and this time she took them. "All of whom now reside in the 'Little Russia' section of Philadelphia. I've also made arrangements for travel so you can administer eye-to-eye surveillance on their activities."

Mulder handed over the plane ticket, unaware that Scully had already made up her mind. "I'm not going."

He chuckled, of course she was going. "What do you mean?"

"Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction, was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle." She wanted to add, that it hardly seemed fair that he was taking time off to be with his daughter, not chase down leads like he usually made her do when they took time off. But then again, that would be complaining and she didn't have a child waiting for her to come home to, she had nothing and that was her life, most likely that was what it was going to look like for a long time.

"Eenie, meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak?" He asked, his voice full of humor. "C'mon, even Danni laughs at that." He pouted, unimpressed with his ability to make her at least smile that day. Scully ignored him only to move on to explain what she'd remembered of the episode this man had described. "So you're refusing an assignment based on the adventures of Moose and Squirrel?" Hell, the whole thing sounded like their life.

"'Refusing an assignment?' It makes it sound like you're my superior." Mulder was all for jumping in that she was assigned to him. But even then, that was a low blow towards the respectable partnership as equals they'd created over the years.

He didn't care, he couldn't care, he needed her to get out there on this assignment so he could relieve Amy of Danica or Danica of Amy so the teenager could get to school without missing too much class time. Her mother would have his head. "Do what you want. Don't go to Philadelphia, but let me remind you that I worked my ass off to get the files reopened. You were just assigned this work is my life."

"And it's become mine." She half mumbled to herself, but he'd heard her.

"You don't want it to be?" Well, it was hardly his life anymore. He had other focuses, like getting home in time to pay the sitter.

"This isn't about you. Or maybe it is, indirectly. I don't know. I feel like I've lost sight of myself, Mulder. It's hard to see, let alone find in the darkness of covert locations. I mean, I wish I could say that we were going in circles, but we're not. We're going in an endless line – two steps forwards and three steps back. While my own life is … standing still." Funny, how she was the one who'd wanted a simpler life and he was the one rushing home to take a child to see her grandmother. His life was moving again, while her's was still stuck, frozen in ice.

"Well, maybe it's good that we get away from each other for a while." He was leaving as her voice called out to him.

"Where will you be?" She sounded so lost, he knew she didn't want to sound like that. He wished she was like Danica, at least that way he could wrap her in his arms and lull her until the tears fell and stopped. Until things were better.

"I told you Scully, my mom's. You still have the number for there right?" She nodded. "I hope to discover something about myself, while I'm out there. Maybe you should do the same." That was all Mulder felt like he could say to help her before he left.

He wasn't gone long before she pulled the wilting rose petal from her pocket and placed it on Mulder's desk. That petal had stopped her the night before, purely because it reminded her so much of herself. Time was standing still in her life, yet everything was turning to dust.

This petal was wilting, as was her soul.

[...]

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I'm late, sorry Amy." His meeting with Skinner, then his overview/slight emotional insight into his partners life paired with the morning traffic had made him later than what he'd told the teenager. She, Amy, was waiting for him as he bolted through the door, her foot was tapping impatiently and her fingers were gripping her hip tightly, "You told me you'd be here before ten, it's ten!" She practically screeched as she picked up her things and shoved them into her bag, her long blond hair tumbling over her shoulder as she did so.

Mulder chuckled, "Well, you're not ready to go anyway so what's the point?" The girl threw him a typical teenaged glare her eyes had narrowed, her lips pursed, he was walking a very think line with her in those moments.

"Well," She started, her voice curt. "If you weren't late, I would have been ready Fox." He shrugged unaware of what logic she was working on.

"If you say so. Let me throw a few things in a bag for Danica and I'll take you to school. Cars unlocked." He told her as she walked out the door, leaving it wide open. Picking up Danica from her spot at the coffee table where she had sat completely calm and uninterested while Amy fought with her father.

Mulder dismissed the idea to put together a bag for Danni, it'd take them ten minutes to drop Amy off then they'd come back. He was still yet to call his mother to alert her of their coming over, so there was no point starting out on the trip now. With Danica on his hip he locked the front door behind them whilst Danica wiggled in his arms demanding, yet asking politely to be put "down".

Tickling the girls' side he set let her slide down his side to the ground, leaving her to bolt for the elevator, the three-year-old wanting to be the only one to press the button. "Danni." He called to her his voice speaking with caution. She's stopped right in front of the elevator doors; her little hand had been using the metal of the sliding door to steady herself while she reached for the button. At the sound of Mulder's voice she stopped what she was doing and took two of her biggest steps back before turning to look at him.

He caught up to her side in five long strides. "Were you good for Amy?" The little girl looked at him with bright eyes her head nodding adamantly. "Was Amy good for you?" He asked teasingly as they stepped onto the elevator. The little girl covered her mouth with her little hands, she was contemplating her answer and by the gleam in her eyes she was going to be cheeky about it.

"Nein." She gasped, as if the whole world should be shocked at her cheeky 'no'.

"No! She wasn't naughty was she?!" He exclaimed in an overly dramatic way as he scooped her under his arm and started to tickle her sides causing her giggles to ripple from her being. He set her back down when the doors reopened, leaving the girl to walk to the car on her own.

She danced in front of him; her steps skipping her arms let the air take them up as she twirled every few steps. She spotted Amy leaning against the car and shrieked happily. "Amy, ich werde meine Oma sehen." She told the teen, happily as she held the door open for her and helped her into her car seat.

"I know, Danni. You told me before." Amy sighed, she was glad to baby sit the young girl, it gave her a chance to brush up on her German, but at the same time today, all Danica wanted to talk about was one thing, Oma.

"What did she tell you?" Mulder asked, a happy smile on his face as he stepped in to make sure Danica was buckled in properly, while Amy got into the passenger seat of the car.

"She's going to see her Grandma." Amy replied as Mulder pulled himself into the driver's seat. He turned around to look at Danica.

"Is that so little one, you're going to see your Oma?" Danica nodded, her usual smile in place, it broke his heart that after dark that smile disappeared.

"Ja! Oma!" Amy laughed, their interaction was sweet. The man and his daughter didn't need the words, just watching them you could tell they understood so many things without having to say anything.

And even when they did talk, when they communicated they learnt even more. Mulder's grasp of German was strengthening as was Danica's English. Amy wouldn't doubt that they'd both be fluent in no time.

Mulder turned back to face the steering wheel, his shoulders shrugging. "I didn't tell her anything about that." Amy laughed again, giving Mulder a shrug and a smile when he looked to her for answers.

It was true, he hadn't said anything to the toddler about going to see his mother, his mother had said something to him, but he hadn't repeated it out loud. A smile spread across his face again as they pulled out onto the road.

Teena Mulder had said something to the little girl.

His mother had requested to speak to the child she was led to believe as her granddaughter, Mulder had told her the girl understood very little English but his mother insisted anyway. Danica had giggled the entire time, mumbling her own name and "Hi" He'd heard the same familiar "Ja" come out of her mouth as an affirmative as well, but other than that stayed away from their conversation, believing his mother would key him in.

She hadn't.

Teena dismissed his questions, claiming that it was top secret Grandparent and child business. He let her go with that, his mother surprisingly was making an effort with his child and as long as she stayed like that he was happy. If his mother ever tried to treat his daughter the way he was treated Teena would have hell to pay. He quite believed she was aware.

[…]

Both Mulder and Danica alike had made it the ten hour drive to Falmouth, Connecticut. They still had another ten minutes until the ferry would arrive at Woods Hole to take them and several other waiting groups across to Oak Bluff's at the tip of the island. From there, it'd take them another half hour or so before they'd finally arrived at his mother's house.

He'd gotten Danica out of the car the last ten hours had them both wanting to stretch their legs. Leaning against the side of his car while he waited for the last ferry for the day as the sun decided to slowly set he found it an ample time to call and check in on Scully.

Danica sat crouched at his feet, a white daisy spinning in between her finger tips as she chose to alternate her words between "Oma" and "Scully" her new favorites. The reception in the area was bad enough and Mulder thought he'd have to struggle while speaking with his partner, but she'd left his call to be picked up by the answering machine, Mulder unaware that she wasn't there at all.

"Oh, hey. Scully, it's me." He pushed off from the car, trying to find a better spot with a clearer signal. "I-I'm just calling to see how you're doing, and uh …" He looked at Danica as she picked up another flower and plucked it from the ground, now twirling the both of them. He knew he needed to apologize for being an ass, he had to. "Give me a call … give me a call on my cell when you get a chance, just let me know where you're at …" The machine cut him off before he got the chance to say goodbye, in all fairness he didn't really know how to end the call.

He forgot to apologize. Mulder silently kicked himself, he knew he had too but he was putting it off. He'd catch her later. He'd call her when he knew she'd answer.

"Fox!" Teena exclaimed as her son stepped out of the car, the sun completely set behind him. "I'm glad you made it, son." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight. Mulder froze, he didn't know what to do, usually this whole thing happened the other way around and she was the unresponsive one. Throwing caution to the wind and turning over a new leaf he hugged his mother back.

"It's good to see you too, Mom." He smiled, as he kissed her on the cheek.

"So, where is she Fox? Where's my granddaughter?" Danni crashed in the car as soon as he managed to pull her away from the ferry's top deck and back into the car; He was happy to leave her sleeping and had hoped he could put her down in the guest room when he got to his mothers. He wasn't expecting his mom to be waiting on the front porch for him.

"She's sleeping, mom. Can I get her out of the car without you running away with her?" He asked laughter in his voice. His mother nodded, her hands fidgeting in front of her.

"I always told you Carly was no good, Fox. Now look, she's been living in Europe with your daughter for three and a half years. I mean, honestly Fox that's the worst a person can do. I'm glad you have her though, that you get the chance to know her and watch her grow…" His mother rambled off to herself as he tried to wake Danica as quickly yet softly as he could. The time was nearing nine o'clock and he'd usually had her in bed by eight at the latest, she wasn't going to be happy that he woke her.

He was whispering words of encouragement to Danica as she pushed his hand off her shoulder and tried to shift in her car seat. Her eyes fluttered open and she glared at him for thinking he could wake her, in one swift move he swooped her out of the car seat, having already unbuckled the clasps and pulled her onto his hip knowing that she wouldn't want to walk just yet. With her backpack over his shoulder and Schatz in the hand that was holding her up he shut the car door with a confirmed click.

Teena turned around at the noise, her discussion about Carly had her wandering the driveway and her back was currently to him. When her eyes landed on the tiny Danica she gasped even in the dim evening light, her hands flew to her mouth, much like Danica's did when she was surprised. Reaching out her arms for the little girl she spoke, "Oh, Fox. Look, just look at her she's beautiful."

"Danica this is your Oma." He told the girl whispering in her ear that it was okay when Teena moved to take her. Her body had tensed, her head shying into his neck. She was tired and scared and all around not into strangers trying to hold her, but with Mulder's assurances in her ears she gave in and let the woman take her.

Mulder quickly grabbed for his overnight bag once his mother had Danica. "Fox, she's tiny!" Teena exclaimed as though he hadn't known that himself. "I can't believe she's three and she's this small. Samantha was half a size bigger when she was this age, and I'm not saying that it's a bad thing that she's tiny but …" He just started to smile and nod as he mother started to talk. It wasn't as though he didn't want to hear what his mother had to say, she was talking about Samantha again, the pain gone from her face as she did so. That didn't mean it was gone, they'd all still hurt for Samantha, but now they had a distraction a fluffy and frilly distraction.

When his mother had started to talk about crèche and three-year-old kindergarten it was time for even his genius mind to stop listening, he hadn't even thought of school yet, he thought there was plenty of time. According to his mother, he couldn't be more wrong.

Teena insisted on putting Danica down to bed, in Samantha's old room. He was worried at first, his mother hadn't touched that room since Samantha went missing, she'd left it the way the girl had just in case she came back. But as the mounted the stairs and turned the corner, past his old room Mulder found and completely different sight. The cupboards were open and bare, Samantha's clothes gone and good majority of her most prized possessions were gone from the shelves and tabletops. The bed was new, the sheets as well, nothing that Mulder had ever seen inhabit in this house before, his mother had done that before they arrived and that had taken his breath away.

He let his mother set Danica down on the bed and tuck her in before he stepped in to do the same, leaving a small kiss on her forehead as he whispered "Gute nacht."Closing the door as they left he turned to find his teary eyed mother waiting for him only a few feet away.

"Mom," He started before she stopped him.

"I want to see her, Fox. I want to see a lot of her. My friends have a room for their grandchildren when they visit. I couldn't put Danica in one of the guest rooms and Samantha's has been sitting so empty for so long." Teena was looking down at her feet when she spoke; tears were threatening her usually cold exterior. "She looks like her so much, without the red hair she …"

"She could be Samantha?" His mother nodded. Picking at her nails she looked up at him.

"She also looks like that partner of yours. You know if you're telling me she's Carly's to make it easier you can just tell the truth. I know I said some nasty things about your partner once." Mulder shook his head.

"That's not the case, Mom. You know, you didn't have to do all this." He pointed to the ajar bedroom door, her knew how hard it would have been for her to clear that room out, especially on her own. "I could have helped you, you know."

She shook her head, her hand on his arm. "Don't be silly, Fox. I want her to have this, her own space at her "Oma's" house." She laughed at the German word adopting it for herself the minute Danica had whispered it in her ear as she held her for the first time. "Besides, I could and did do it on my own, I wanted it to be a surprise."

"You can have her over whenever you want, mom." He smiled as she pulled him into yet another hug.

"You're a good father, Fox. I'm proud of you, she's so lucky to have you." His mother kissed his cheek, for the first time since he was a little boy before telling him that she would see him in the morning. He offered to help her to bed but she was happy to do it on her own.

Grabbing his things from downstairs Mulder headed to his own room, something he'd know had been redecorated a long time ago. Slipping out of his clothes for the day he found his old Oxford t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Sitting on the edge of the bed he dialed a number he knew would be answered.

It didn't take very long for him to hear the sweet voice he'd wanted by his side all day. "Hello?"

"Scully." His voice was raw, tears were on the verge, the things that had happened since he'd arrived at his mothers had finally started to get to him, his emotions were overwhelmed.

"Mulder, what's wrong?" Worry was evident in her voice, but he knew she was still pissed with him from earlier in the day. Settling back against his head board he prepared himself both for admitting what had happened that day and her own opinions.

"Nothing's wrong." He lied. "I'm just at that special place, and I wanted to share it with you. Did you know, there's a three-year-old kindergarten program to give toddlers a head start at school?" He could hear his partner hum, she didn't know. "And that my mother redecorated Samantha's old room for Danni." He could hear the hitch in her breath, even to Scully that was a big deal. "I don't think my mother will ever let go of Samantha, but she's starting to fill that hole with Danica. She wants to see her regularly."

"Mulder," Scully started, he was waiting for her to attack him, accuse him of helping his mother to move on with a child that wasn't even his. But she didn't. "How did you know where I was?" She asked and he could tell she was annoyed.

"I-I checked where we always stay in Philadelphia." He was taking off guard by her question. "I knew you wouldn't abandon me. How's the case going?"

"I've handed it over to the Philadelphia bureau."

"The Philadelphia bureau? They don't know or care about the X-Files. What are you doing?" He got off of his bed, his feet pacing the floor, what the hell was she doing?

"Mulder, there is no X-File. Your contact is connected to the Vorofskoi Mir, extortion, credit fraud, cons, he is nothing but a swindler."

"How do you know?" He knew it was a stupid question, but he hadn't left her alone for longer than half a day and she was already handing their cases over to other departments.

"What do you mean, how do I know? You assigned me the background check. I did as told, as always."

"Okay, just hold off until I get there, okay?" He had to be there, he had to go back to smack some sense into her. There was always another reason someone was doing something. Swindler by day, gender changing freak by night, she just didn't know that.

"What, you don't think I'm capable?"

"Of course I believe that you're capable, it's just that in this case I need you to …" Okay, he didn't want her to screw up, and he knew he didn't have to but he wanted to be by her side to hold her hand. Why was that so bad?

"It's not just in this case, Mulder." She was on to him, she could read him like an open book. He hated that he made her feel that way and again he wanted to apologize, but his pushing words just kept coming out of his mouth and wouldn't stop.

"Wh-what's the agent's name in Philadelphia?" He pushed and he knew he shouldn't have.

"It's over. Done Pudovkin is out of our hands. Look Mulder, I have to go. Why don't you go spend some time with your precious daughter?" Her last sentence was like venom and he knew it wasn't only about his disbelief in her capabilities, this was also about Danica.

"What, have you got a date, or something?" he sneered but once his partner didn't offer a response he knew he'd just hit the nail on the head, even within his joke. "Y-you're kidding."

"I have everything under control. I will talk to you later." Scully had hung up the phone after offering her calm words but that hadn't reassured him at all. He'd go back in the afternoon, leave Danica with his mother just so he could make sure everything was alright at home.

[…]

She was nervous yet, invigorated. It'd been years since she'd had a date, since she'd acted out in this way. Sure, she wasn't doing it just to get back at her partner, Ed Jerse showed actual promise and he was attractive, that was always a plus. But this man was a mystery, he was enticing and she loved that thrill of the dangerous unknown. That little habit she owed to her partner, finding thrill in such dangers.

Well, for Dana Ed was that danger this week. "Hi" She almost drooled out as Edward Jerse opened the door with his shirt half on. He'd breathed the same word back, not expecting her for a little while longer. Scully explained her early arrival, stating it sampling to a before mentioned storm that wasn't so bad as of yet.

"It's supposed to get bad later tonight. Come on in. I'll be ready in a second." He closes the door behind her as she slipped in passed him. Turning to him she took a moment, her mind telling her honesty was only the best policy.

"Ed, I-I uh, I don't go out very much." Her mind scolded her mouth, why did he need to know this and why had her voice decided to tell him without think about it? But, it kept coming like word vomit and she was unable to stop it. "I think the last time I went on a date was to see Glen Garry Glen Ross and the characters in the movie had a much better time." A smile was on her face until she'd seen the blood that'd soaked through his sleeve. "Ed, you're bleeding." She reached for his shirt but he pulled back.

"It's just the damn tattoo." Jerse moved himself to the bathroom to find a first aid kit he knew he had hidden around there somewhere. Moving about his apartment as she snooped only quietly and out of curiosity she called out;

"I'm a doctor. Do you want me to take a look at it?" She asked perching over his desk, her mind was trying to get a sense of the man trying to put together at least a small part of his life so she knew what to avoid and what topic to broach. She'd defiantly found something to avoid completely there was a small rectangular picture set up on his desk. The picture contained two children, roughly around the same age sitting on their fathers arms as he hoisted them up in the air, only problem the fathers face had been burnt out.

Ed entered the room behind her, a new bandage on his arm and a new shirt awning his shoulders. "I hope you like the place. I made reservations…" His speak He was buttoning the last buttons of the shirt as he caught her with the delicate, troubled part of his life.

She sensed the shift of mood in the air, and an unabridged sense of passion fired up within her soul. "Ed … the, uh … the crummy bar you told me about." She paused, leaving herself to suck in a breath. "Take me there."

The Hard Eight lounge had been the bar in question. Smoke clung to the air with nowhere else to go, the smoke created the atmosphere of the bar just as it did cling to it. Patrons moved throughout the bar, some found a quiet place to dwell in their troubles alone, others put themselves out there waiting for someone, anyone to notice them. "So, what makes this place a good place to go when you're feeling down?" She asked, as though the whole place hadn't spoken to her yet.

Ed observes the crowed that had accumulated there that night, quite a few lost souls dangled, waiting, watching for the unknown, the final step their lives would take to get them out of that hell hole. "Oh, it's kind of … Everyone here looks like their problems are worse than mine. Makes me feel good about myself." Scully smiled, that was definitely one way to look at it.

"Yeah, but you can't tell what's going on in somebody's head just by looking at them." She played with her drink stirrer between her teeth, she was well aware of the teasing, tipsy ways her mind was starting to succumb too. "I mean, they're probably thinking that we're the ones that are screwed up."

"Are we?" He asked and she desperately wanted to nod to spill her guts. Her life had flipped her partner pretty much gone, well at least all his attention was on the new love of his life and she, pathetically, had no idea what to do with herself.

Instead her mind slipped to another part of her life, another more acceptable thing to talk about. "Who knows?" I mean sometimes, I, uh … I've always gone around in this, uh … this circle. It usually starts when an authoritative or controlling figure come into my life. And part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval. But then at a certain point, along the way, I just, you know …" She puts her hand up as if to say stop, and that's what she meant, she always halted and backed out.

Ed looked at her confused, raising his hand to do the same action he asked her silently what she meant. Signing softly Scully decided that'd probably have been easier to talk about Danica stealing her partner, than talk about her daddy issues. But neither made her much of a great catch. "Okay, umm … My father was a Navy Captain. I worshiped – I worship" She corrected herself, "the sea that he sailed on. And when I was thirteen or so I went through this … thing," She raised her hand again. Her stop, that halt that made her life turn around and change, that thing that made her do stupid, or smart things that had inevitably grown on her like a budding flower, or infectious fungi and affected every aspect of her life. "where I would sneak out of my parent's house and smoke my mother's cigarettes. And I did it because I knew that if he found out, he would kill me. And then … along the way, there are other … fathers."

"Sounds like you're time has come around again." Jerse mused, deciding it was his turn to offer up a part of himself. "I want things more like a straight line, and I don't ever want to go backward." She wanted to scoff, to tell him that her entire life was going backwards in a straight line. That the only constant she had with that was Mulder, but now he was pulling out, his life was moving forward. Ed didn't want that, and she desired to tell him. "That's why I got the tattoo 'I deserve'. Marked the moment, the feeling … memorial of something that I never want to have happen again." His eyes had poured into hers, she knew something must have happened with a girlfriend or wife, he had children and hadn't mentioned them the entire night, even after she found the picture. She could bet he never wanted to lose them again, to do something as stupid as he'd done.

She was curious, the skin marking ink had stroked her fancy in a peculiar way and could help the feel of an almost dangerous vibe when she was around him. "I want to see it." She stated as though it were an urge or matter of uttermost importance.

"You know, Dana, just 'cause I marked the moment wanting to go forward doesn't mean that it worked." He turned her down, his eyes telling her to back off. She hadn't cared, she wanted to fulfill that urge to reach out and touch the skin, to watch how the skin moved it was marked, scarred yet everything worked the same.

"I want to see it." She moved reaching for his arm, tempted to go as far as climbing into his lap to get to it, something just kept drawing her back.

He stopped her. "Come on. It's all scabbed up." It was a lame excuse, she would be fine with healing skin, it was better than a desiccated corpse or alien left overs any day. She told him it was okay, as she reached over again. He stopped her again, his fingers lacing around her wrists roughly. He shook her slightly, only softly the motion and his rough actions caused her to gasp. The alcohol had gone straight to her head and she had let it, she was letting herself go and was enjoying it as she peered straight into Ed's narrow daring eyes.

"You're so curious. Get your own." She knew better than what her tipsy mind was thinking but nodded her head anyway, choosing to mark her skin. Her act of rebellion this time around, her stop, her cry for help, for someone to notice her. This time it wasn't her mother's cigarettes or moving to D.C. in order to pursue a career at the FBI, this time she was getting a tattoo marking herself straight to bone.

She'd chosen the ouroboros purely for what it meant. Most women got tattoo's because they weren't thinking and the pretty little butterflies and fairies meant nothing to their sober minds but Scully, Dana Scully, no matter how much alcohol had gotten to her head was going to think this decision over.

This time her life could circle and when she ate her own tail, then things would begin again.

[…]

Danica's nightmares had woken him up during the night, truth be told he hadn't slept very well with having her so far down the hall. He's jumped in his sleep at every little noise and once her cries finally hit his ears his feet were on the ground and in her room faster than anyone could start to count.

He'd soothed her quickly, her thrashing still happening even though she'd quieted. He hadn't soothed her quick enough though; his mother was with him in matter of minutes asking frantically what was wrong.

She'd helped him with Danica's violent nightmares, he'd had some of his own after Samantha went missing and even though there was no real way to stop it until the child was calm his mother never left his side and kept vigil even when he's succumbed to sleep in Danica's quieter moments. He was happy knowing that he could leave Danni with his mother even with her nightmares and he was happy knowing that he wasn't alone in being completely confused and helpless when it came to calming her.

"Mom?" He spoke later that morning, trying to catch the woman's attention who'd suddenly devoted it all to the little girl coloring at the breakfast table.

"Yes, dear?"

"I was wondering if I could leave Danni here with you for the night. I'll come get her tomorrow morning but I need to get back to D.C. and I'd hate to tear the two of you away from each other so soon." His mother nodded, giving him her approval before she turned to the little girl and asked if she was happy to stay. Getting over her initial shyness Danica was happy to go anyway with her new Oma.

[…]

He wasn't able to get Scully at the hotel that morning, he'd called rather early before any flight she'd book, yet the receptionist couldn't get him through. He continued to drive, calmly knowing it was still going to take him another 9 hours, depending on the traffic, he could always cut himself short two hours and drive straight into Philadelphia. Then again, he could risk missing Scully all together.

He'd only just made it into their office when the phone started to ring, lunging for it he answered the phone just as the other person decided to hang up. Looking at the receiver he shrugged his shoulders before putting it down. There was a wilted rose petal on his desk and he had no recollection of putting it there, believing it to have been Scully he left it there without any thought.

[…]

Two days later he followed his partner back into their office her face was bruised and cut due to Ed Jerse's attack. She was tired and he knew it yet they both were there standing in their basement office, she was still angry with him and he still hadn't apologized. "Welcome back." He enthused coming in behind her, he was only ducking in for a few seconds he was to meet his mother at the reflecting pool in two hours to collect Danni.

"You look a lot better than you did in the hospital." He offered her a little bit of compassion. "And congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time." He moved to get the file from the cabinet every inch of his being annoyed with her for managing to get hurt yet again, this time she could have been killed. "It's a world record." He's looking for a response upon her face but she wouldn't give in, she kept it straight just for him. "Ed Jerse is in custody at the St. John's burn facility in Philadelphia. Traces of ergot were found in his bloodstream as in yours, but not to the degree that should cause hallucinogenic ergotism." He watched silently as his partner took a seat in front of his desk. The only place she could really call her own. "He'll undergo psychiatric evaluation after recovering from burn trauma. Case closed on Boris Badenov, which is really a shame because I was thinking of having an "N.Y." tattooed on my ass to commemorate the Yankees' World Series vitcotry, or maybe even Danica's name in one of those cool bannered love hearts. Better late than never, huh."

Scully continued to take no part in his discussion, instead she picked up the wilted rose petal that was on his desk and turned it in her fingers. It was still her life, dying completely and alone. He watched her for a little while before getting up uncomfortably out of his chair, approaching the filing cabinet he pulled out another file. "The uh, field office in Dallas is uh, receiving reports of the image of a missing child appearing on a blank billboard outside of Arlington …" He sat down again, flipping through the file aimlessly. "… so … all this, because I've … because I didn't get you a desk?" That really was how the whole thing started.

Scully looked up at him, her face completely blank. "Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life."

"Yes, but it's m –" She looked at him questioningly. He wanted to speak again, to finish his sentence instead he sighed and started to fiddle with the positioning of things on his desk letting the uncomfortable silence wash over them until he could leave.


Until next Friday guys.