Thankfully for me he wouldn't have much time left to work on tearing me down. His filming would be over soon and he'd go back to London. Leaving the challenge that was me thousands of miles behind him. My days with him were numbered and while that provoked a bit of dread, I mostly felt relieved. When he was gone I wouldn't have to work do hard to keep my feeling contained. Feelings I just wasn't ready to let out or even ready to have.

It was getting nearly impossible to keep them at bay too. Rob was coming to my place nearly every night where we would sit and hold each other for hours as we talked. It continuously got harder to release him, harder to let him leave each evening, harder to stop at just kissing. I couldn't keep up like that forever, I was already breaking down far too much.

There were some things I still wouldn't cave on, the Breaking Dawn wrap party for example. I still wasn't ready to go public with...whatever it was Rob and I had going on. Maybe the fact that I couldn't even define it had something to do with that. How could I tell others what we were when I didn't even know?

The party fell on Rob's last night in LA leaving him torn, spend his last night here saying farewell to me or the people he had been working with for four movies now. He was prepared to blow them off, but I insisted he go. We both knew he wasn't going to get a proper send off from me so I wanted him to be out having fun instead of moping around with me. He wouldn't agree unless there was a compromise...he would go as long as he was also able to spend the night with me. Like sleeping at my house, in my bed, with me. The thought scared the hell out of me, but I agreed. I'd just have to deal with the ramifications later.

Not later enough sadly. The night of the wrap party approached far too quickly. I could have swore whole weeks passed in just a matter of days. I spent that night sitting at home alone like I hadn't done in so long. It seemed so empty. I tried to patiently wait for him, but pacing around made me feeling like a lovesick teenager. The butterflies in the pit of my stomach didn't help that case either.

I decided I'd lay in bed and read, trying to distract myself. Being in my room just made things worse as it reminded me that he hadn't even seen my room yet and tonight he would be sleeping in it. Again, I got that silly teenage girl feeling. I was too old for that shit, right? I grown woman shouldn't be so nervously excited about having a guy in her room. Maybe it was my extreme version of taking it slow or maybe it had more to do with this guy in particular that caused those feelings.

Somehow I managed to drift off during my panic and was awoken by Rob crawling into bed with me. I jumped, slightly startled by someone's presence in my bed before I remembered it was just Rob. Then I was nothing but calm as I settled into his arms.

"I really missed you tonight." He whispered as he reached over me to turn off the light.

Those were the only words spoken between us that night. There wasn't a need for anything more. I squirmed out of his hold and turned to face him, lightly kissing his jawline and down his neck before I settled my face into his chest. He rubbed my back as we simply laid tonight, both eventually falling asleep at some point.

I fought to keep my eyes closed the next morning. If I never woke up then he'd never have to leave. My plan was blown when I felt him start to move underneath me. I could pretend to sleep all I wanted, but he would still wake up and have to go.

He packed his things quietly, looking forlorn. I tried my best to put on a happy face for both of us. I didn't want him to think his leaving would hurt me. If he knew that there was a good possibility he would stay and that couldn't happen. He needed to go so I could be reminded that I was fine without him, before it was too late for me to turn away from him.

I had decided against taking him to the airport myself. That would be like setting off an emotional bomb. It wasn't worth the risk. Walking him out of my house was bad enough. He locked his arms around my small waist like he never wanted to let go. I blinked away tears before he had the chance to notice them. I stood up on my toes so that my lips could reach his and I gave him the most vigorous kiss I could manage. One that we'd both remember because I suspected it would be our last.