Chapter 7

It wasn't a common occurrence for Rachel to spend the entire boring, mundane, school day dreading going to glee club, but today was no ordinary day. Today was different. As she stared at the clock in every single class, watching the time tick slowly by, she knew that every second that passed was one second closer to hell. She could put on a show face and blabber on about looking on the bight side of things all she wanted but it wasn't going to change the fact that today, walking into that choir room, she would be walking right into the lions den. There was no way anyone in that club was just going to mind their own business and let this slide and she couldn't calm the anxiety that coursed through her.

When it was finally time to make her appearance (she had deliberated making a run for it and avoiding them all together) she nervously stood outside the choir room door trying to find the nerve to reach for the door handle and go inside. After taking a few moments to arrange her features into a mask of indifference and take a few calming breaths, it was finally time to walk through that door and face the music. Oh the irony.

The first thing she noticed as she walked in (besides almost everyone turning to stare at her and a few fixing her with icy glares) was that Mr. Schuester had already started the lesson. Thank goodness she thought to herself as relief flooded through her momentarily, now they will have to wait until the end to hurl abuse at me. Grateful for this welcome turn of events Rachel silently moved to sit in a chair (not her usual chair next to Finn, she instead sat by Noah who thankfully wasn't one of those glaring at her) and settled to focus on the lesson.


They were approaching the end of the lesson when she realised she hadn't yet seen Finn. She turned subtly, looking for him and noticed him sitting in the furthest corner from her, away from everyone else. He hadn't said a word the entire lesson and his face wasn't displaying hurt or anger or any of the emotions she expected. He was completely expressionless. She was too busy analysing him to hear Mr. Schuester end glee for the day and only noticed that it was over when Finn abruptly got up, then without a word to anyone, walked out the door. Mr. Schuester was barely out of the room 30 seconds before Quinn pounced.

"Well you really couldn't resist screwing us all over could you man hands? What is this some kind of payback for not getting a solo at sectionals? We won without your singing so you go and hurt Finn meaning that we lose our male lead and never win another competition again? I always knew you were selfish but you just took it to a whole new level" she spat at her, rage seeping from her every pore.

"Finn won't quit glee club" Rachel murmured softly. She spoke quietly but with conviction.

"Oh who are you kidding, he didn't speak a word today! It's only a matter of time."

"Oh come on Q" Puck spoke up, surprising Rachel, was he actually sticking up for her? "I know she cheated on the dude but she doesn't control his life. Finn's gonna do what he's gonna do. If he doesn't care about us then to hell with him!"

"I agree" Mercedes appeared at Rachel's side "we all make mistakes and none of you can say you base every decision in your life off of how it could affect the glee club. I'm not saying what Rachel did was right but remember Quinn, that we all had your back when Finn found out about you cheating on him with Puck. None of us chewed you up about how it could destroy the glee club, even after Finn quit. We all stuck together and lucky for us he changed his mind, but even if he hadn't… we were there for you." Quinn couldn't find the words to argue with that. She was still mad at Rachel but she realised saying anything more would make her a hypocrite. If she was honest it wasn't even what Rachel did, it was just that she generally disliked her, any time she put a foot wrong was a golden opportunity to give her grief.

Rachel gave Mercedes a grateful smile and when Quinn didn't respond she thought maybe the worst was over. Of course she couldn't have been more wrong since Santana hadn't yet said her share, and she wasn't going to leave this room without cussing Rachel out.

"Oh who even cares that they broke up! We all know that if she hadn't messed up with Finn first he would have cheated on her. I bet you knew that didn't you? Hurt him before he hurts you right?" Santana laughed smugly "well congratulations troll, you beat him to the punch."

This made Rachel furious. The fact that Santana would insinuate that she would cheat on him to salvage her reputation and hurt him before he humiliated her was enraging. Finn was the one constantly hurting her because of his own reputation. He was so obsessed with being popular that he trampled all over her to achieve it, and now Santana was accusing her of this? No way.

"That might be how things work in your twisted world Santana, but some of us are not that callous" Rachel fumed. She was not letting her slander her like this; she had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Says the tramp that cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend. Sorry Q" Santana laughed, earning a scowl from Quinn.

"Oh like you're so much better Santana! You've opened your legs for practically every guy in this school! Or at least offered." Rachel spat back at her. She was done being nice now, why the hell should she take this from a girl who goes through more condoms than breath mints.

"HA! Well if that isn't the skank calling the whore a slut. And Puckerman of all people! If I didn't hate you so much I'd be impressed by you attempting to live a little."

"GUYS!" Mercedes interrupted before Rachel could even think of a response, "this isn't helping anything; we are not going to solve this by you two being at each others throats. If you're so concerned with what's best for the team then you guys need to stop your bickering and get along." Rachel and Santana both scoffed, only to be met by an answering glare from Mercedes "Or if you can't do that then just stay away from each other because frankly, we're all sick of it."

"Fine" was Santana's (albeit biting) response before she stormed out the door, Brittany following her.

Rachel stood waiting for anyone else to have their go, give her a mouthful but to her surprise they all, one by one, said their goodbyes and left. Puck, before making his own exit spoke quietly "you know Finn's my boy… and publicly I have to have his back. I just want you to know that I don't hate you Rachel, I get why you did it and I don't judge you" he smiled sincerely.

"Wait, you get it?" she asked puzzled.

"Well I kind of overheard you guys when you were arguing in the hall. I heard everything and I gotta say I agree with you. Not that I agree with your methods… I mean I'm not complaining either" he winked "but it is for the best".

"You were eavesdropping?"

"Well when I heard you tell him about me and you doing the dirty I had to!" he laughed "needed to make sure I had all the info so I could talk my way out of it when he came at me with his fist again."

She frowned, her eyes apologetic "is he mad at you?"

"Yeah… but I'm working on it."

"I'm so sorry Noah, I know you tried to back out and I convinced you otherwise. If you want you can tell him that I lied and said we had broken up."

"Hey, I'm just as much to blame for what we did. You might have talked me into it but I didn't take a whole lotta convincing Berry. I'll find some other way to make it up to him… thanks though, that's really cool of you, offering to take the blame." They smiled at each other for a moment and Rachel thought that Puck really was a good guy, no matter how many people said differently.

"Well I better go. Don't let it get to you so much" he told her fervently "and hey, if Satan gives you any more hassle let me know, I got your back" he smiled, winking as he left her alone in the choir room.

She sat down on a nearby chair taking a deep breath. Well at least its over she thought gratefully. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Jesse letting him know she was done for the day.

Be there in 10 :) he replied instantly.

She was about to grab her bag off the floor next to her and leave to wait for Jesse outside when she noticed Mike Chang walking back into the choir room. Wonderful she thought, completely exhausted, he must be back to give me a piece of his mind now that his girlfriend isn't here to see him get vicious.

"Can you make this quick? I am extremely tired and my ride is waiting" her eyebrows raised, just daring him to challenge her.

"What?" he seemed confused "I just forgot my folder. What are you still doing here?"

Oh. Well that makes sense, he never was very verbose. "I…I'm just waiting for my ride. I'm leaving now" she muttered getting up and making her way towards the door.

"So everyone's pretty mad at you huh?" here we go. Why is he even bothering to make conversation with me? He's never spoken more than two words to me in two years of glee club.

"With the exception of Mercedes I'd say yeah, that's accurate" she sighed "look I know that Finn's your 'buddy' and everything and you're sticking up for him or whatever but I already feel bad. Couldn't feel worse actually so you're wasting your time."

"Yeah Finn's my buddy… but I'm not gonna give you shit about it. That would make me kind of a hypocrite don't you think?"

Ok now she was confused. Had she missed something here? She couldn't seem to recall him cheating on Tina, even if she had been a bit self involved these last few months she would have noticed that kind of drama.

"What are you talking about?"

"Is your memory that bad?" he laughed slightly "Tina did the same thing to Artie. I guess he was being a bad boyfriend and she didn't like the way he was treating her… she couldn't break up with him though because he just kept giving her promises of how he would change. So she cheated on him. With me. She knew he would never take her back after that. Now I'm not 'pro-cheating' or anything, but I guess me and Tina… we got each other out if it and well… if I gave you hassle for what you did while I was dating someone who has done exactly the same thing I'd be kind of an ass."

Rachel laughed, surprised that Mike Chang had actually said something funny. It was strange to even be talking to him at all, especially when it involved so many words coming out of his mouth rather than hers. She had always wondered how Tina could have done that to Artie and was grateful that she finally understood. She was also grateful that someone finally understood her. She never expected acceptance to come in the form of Mike Chang. Life certainly is funny sometimes.

"Thank you for telling me that Mike. Its nice to know that someone actually does understand." Her phone buzzed and she opened up a text from Jesse letting her know he was outside. "Oh that's my ride. I better go."

"Sure. And you know you can talk me right? Tina too, everyone else will come around" he promised, smiling genuinely.

This made her smile too, knowing that it wasn't all bad, that she had people to turn to. "Thanks Mike."

They said goodbye in the hallway and went their separate ways.


As she climbed into Jesse's car with a smile on her face she was met with his confused one, clearly wondering why she was so damn happy after a day that she complained was going to be the worst day of her life.

"Take it your day wasn't as bad as you thought it would be?"

"Oh no it was awful" she replied, still smiling.

He laughed at her, his eyebrows knitting together. Clearly he was missing something here "Oh? You could have fooled me. Smile any wider and your face might crack"

"I am simply pleased that I made a new friend today, rather unexpectedly actually." She informed him joyfully.

"Oh? Anyone I know?"

"Yes as a matter of fact. Mike. Mike Chang."

His confused face was back "the dancing Asian? I've never even heard him speak."

"Jesse!" she scolded "that's offensive! And he is actually quite talkative when he has something to express."

"Well ok… considering he got you to smile, I'm not complaining. I'm just glad I didn't have to scrape you off the choir room floor" he laughed, causing her to wrinkle her nose in distaste.

"Well I did kind of get into it with Santana but I guess it could have been worse. Now that we've established that I'm alright after my 'day from hell' tell me how yours went?"

He groaned and she could tell he was going to make this difficult for her, "Jesse" she prompted, urging him to continue. He was silent for a minute or two, until she let out an impatient sigh causing him to jump right in and get it over with.

"It was exactly how I expected it to be. When I refused to go back to California my father tried to convince me that my best move would be working for him at his company-"

Rachel scoffed cutting him off "I bet that went well. I seem to remember you once saying something to the effect 'the stock market is for greedy assholes that feel the need to collect as much money as humanly possible to compensate for their otherwise empty lives'."

"Aw how sweet. You remembered" he threw back sardonically.

"Hey, direct your bitterness elsewhere St. James, I'm not the one trying to derail your Broadway dreams" she reminded him. In a different situation she might have given him more hassle for mocking her but she knew how sensitive he was about anything involving his parents. Besides, his anger was misplaced and she knew it wasn't personal.

He sighed at her words "sorry Rach. It's just... Ughhh! They piss me off! They've done a fine job of leaving me to deal with my own problems my entire life, why the sudden change?"

"Maybe they feel bad about that and they're trying to be there for you now." She suggested, although she knew it was a long shot.

He laughed, loud and cynically "No. I'll tell you why Rachel. They are too concerned about their stupid reputation and how it will look to all their friends and anyone else who gives a damn, that their only son is a college dropout."

"But you're transferring not dropping out" she felt it necessary to remind him.

"Once people start to talk it won't matter. St. James' go to college and finish. They don't drop out, they don't transfer and they don't run off to be in some 'twinkle town musical'. They get a real job."

"Twinkle town?" she snickered

"My father's words. To him, anything involving me being on the stage means I'm gay. And god forbid he has a gay son. What would people think?"

"You know what you need?" she decided as they were driving down their street nearing their houses "peanut butter cups and Rent. That always makes you feel better when you're upset. Come on, we can watch it in my room" she grinned. She was surprised she was moving forward with this whole friends thing so quickly since it was only last night that their friendship had been repaired. It was just so easy to fall back into old patterns with him.

Jesse seemed astonished by her offer "you remember that?" he asked, disbelief obvious in his tone.

"Sure" she smiled at him and proceeded to climb out of the car and make her way towards her bedroom doors.


"God Jesse, it's a remote control, not a symbol of your supreme power over the universe! Just let me pick something for once!"

They had just spend the last couple of hours sitting on Rachel's bed watching Rent, eating junk, talking, singing and laughing along with the TV. After the movie ended they decided to watch some television, although they were doing more bickering than watching since Jesse had yet to relinquish the remote control. If she wasn't currently so irritated by him she might have allowed herself a little longer to revel in how comfortable this felt. Just like old times. After a few more minutes of playing tug of way with the remote Rachel decided he wasn't going to give in any time soon so she wandered off to the kitchen to get some more drinks. When she returned she noticed he had managed to find a football game (how, she had no idea since her bedroom TV didn't even get any of the sports channels) and was currently screaming profanities at the screen.

"Ok so yelling during a sporting event is understandable. Yelling at the TV during a sporting event is just plain useless. Not to mention stupid! The players can't hear you. The coaches can't hear you. Are you grasping this?" she demanded, completely exasperated.

"What?" he questioned, not moving his eyes from the screen.

"Oh just give me the fucking remote Jesse!" she screamed at him, her words piercing the air.

He seemed taken aback by her sudden outburst, then proceeded to quickly evaluate the situation, trying to determine if now would be a good time to joke with her or if that might cause her to come at him with a pair of scissors. "Jeez Rach I didn't realise you were so possessive over your TV. I didn't mean to wake the beast" he smirked, causing her to realise how badly she had overreacted. Not to mention how exceedingly badly she had just embarrassed herself.

She blushed a little. Ok she blushed a lot. She decided ignoring this whole exchange would be the smartest move right now so she attempted a change of subject.

"So are you feeling better yet?" she was trying copiously to hide her embarrassment as she made her way back over to the bed.

It didn't work. Damn. "Well I was until you stormed in here with your fangs out, about to make a lunge for my jugular" Jesse laughed mockingly.

She sighed, feeling herself become aggravated again "so I lost my cool! Big deal. Can we move on?" he voice rising a few (ok several) decibels. Jesse physically recoiled from her, enjoying this joke a little too much.

"You're acting crazy. I think you need to calm down and stop being so aggressive."

"I AM NOT AGGRESSIVE!" she yelled, frustrated. He flinched again, holding his hands up in defence. He was just joking with her of course but he thought now may be the time to give it up. She was getting more wound up by the second and, well, she was actually a little scary right now.

"Relax Rach, I'm messing with you" he chuckled, but when she scowled at him he decided maybe an apology was in order. "I'm sorry, I just happen to enjoy watching you get mad. Its kind of a turn on" he laughed.

She struggled to keep her scowl in place as she felt her cheeks begin to heat up. She opted to turn away from him as she was no doubt red as a tomato right now. She walked over to a window and opened it, making it seem like that was the reason she had turned away from him, "whatever" she muttered before collecting herself enough to turn back towards him. When she saw the smirk on his face her stomach fell, realising that her attempt at nonchalance had been completely unbelievable and that he was aware of the fact that he had made her blush. Great. Why do I have to be so uncool?

She was about to respond to his mocking smile with some biting remark to put him in his place when he held up his hands again "Ok… this could go on all day. How about I stop messing with you and you keep your panties on?" he reasoned, but before he could stop himself added "unless you'd rather take them off."

Her answering face was one of utter shock, which quickly turned into outrage "sorry!" he laughed "couldn't resist. It ends here though I promise." His smile was finally genuine, although his eyes betrayed a trace of humour. She decided to let it go because it was obvious how easily he could get the best of her. "Fine" she huffed, sitting down beside him on the bed once more.

He smiled at her sweetly as he silently handed her the remote. This caused her to laugh softly and shake her head "thanks" she murmured before changing the channel to an American Idol re run. Soon they were hysterically laughing at all of the awful auditions and critiquing those on the better side. They fell back into conversation easily and soon what was on the TV was completely forgotten.

"I am not threatened by Santana. All I am saying is I get why Finn chose her of all people to have sex with." Neither of them remembered how they had gotten onto this subject but all Jesse knew was that it was completely ridiculous for Rachel to feel insecure around Santana.

"Rachel I have met Santana. I highly doubt that it was Finn doing the choosing in the situation" he reasoned. She was sneaky and scheming and he's almost certain it was completely her idea.

"She might have offered but he still possessed the ability to refuse. Still, why would he? Of course he would want to sleep with Santana. She's taller than me, she's prettier than me and she by far supersedes me in the chest department…" Rachel wondered why she had even begun talking about this since she was feeling more depressed by the minute.

"Rachel stop, seriously. First of all, her boobs are fake. Anyone can pay a doctor to insert silicone into their body. And second, you really don't see yourself clearly at all do you? Ever since I met you I've seen you let people make you feel bad about yourself, or watched you battle some insane insecurity. You need to stop seeing yourself through their eyes, those spiteful, judgemental people who are trying to bring you down." He was speaking fervently, desperately trying to make her see sense.

She sighed sadly, "Seeing myself through my own eyes isn't much better. I always think of Barbra and how amazing she is, even though she wasn't considered conventionally pretty… but the truth is she's one in a million Jesse. There are millions of talented girls out there, a lot of them will be much prettier than me and as much as it sucks, showbiz is a shallow world."

He wasn't hearing this. Since when is Rachel Berry so negative about her own future? He has never met another person as determined and self assured about their talent as he is about his. Where has that Rachel gone? That blundering idiot Hudson drained it out of her, that's where. Well then he would have to do all he could to make her believe in herself again.

"Well then maybe you should see yourself through my eyes. Because what I see is a girl so beautiful, so talented, so warm hearted and so magnetic, that no one could ever measure up" his voice low, he spoke slowly and softly, his eyes locking on hers with an intensity that left her breathless. "Satan and all those other girls couldn't even begin to try and change that. You're one in a million Rachel Berry."

As her brain registered his words she literally felt as if she might pass out from the sheer power of his proclamation. No one had ever said anything as sweet and compelling as this. Not even close. She literally felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Her heart rate had shot up dramatically and she was trying her best to even out her breathing but it remained ragged as he kept his gaze on her, intense and passionate. It was incredibly difficult for her not to attack him with her lips right now but as much as she longed for him, she was desperate for their friendship to work. He was one of the few people that were really there for her and she would be a fool to wreck that. I mean look at it this way… she could re-enter a relationship with him and have some good times but maybe break up somewhere down the line and lose him all over again. Or they could remain friends and she could have him in her life forever. She convinced herself this was the reason but the fact that she was filled with a consuming fear that she would get her heart broken again completely overshadowed that notion.

Jesse however had other ideas, misleading the silence on her part for some intense, charged moment (which she admits it was, but she was choosing to ignore it) and before she had time to react, his lips were on hers in a passionate, almost bruising kiss. She responded for a moment, kissing him back and it was obvious how long this had been building up. It was as if all their longing for each other, all of the unresolved feelings and all of their resurfacing emotions were being finally released through this kiss. All thought process stopped instantly and the only thing their brains registered was how much they both wanted each other and how much they had missed the taste of each other, the feel of each others lips.

After what felt like a life time, Jesse pulled back slightly, both of them needing a moment to catch their breath before he leaned back in. As the air filled Rachel's lungs and the dizziness subsided her brain began working double time. She pulled back abruptly, just as his lips were about to meld with hers once again. Nothing could be heard but the sound of their ragged breathing. He looked at her questioningly although he already had an idea of what was going through her mind right now.

"Jesse…we- we can't. I can't. I mean it's been going so well between us and I… I'm just scared of ruining everything" it was barely above a whisper but her words were clear as day to him.

"Who says we would be ruining it? In my opinion we would only be making it better" he smirked, causing her heart to stop then pick up again twice as fast.

"Jesse I-"

He cut her off, already knowing where she was headed "can't. I get it. But I know you Rachel, I know you're trying to be mature about this and I also know that it won't last long. Your resolve will crumble soon enough and you will find your way back into my arms. It's only a matter of time" his smirk was so arrogant and self assured that all she wanted to do was pin him down on the bed and kiss it off his face. She couldn't let him know that though, she had to be strong for both of them. He didn't seem to grasp that she was doing this for them, this is what's best and he's going to try everything to undermine her self control. Typical Jesse.

Instead she just laughed, unaffectedly "in your dreams St. James."


Like it? :)

I seriously wanna thank you guys for your reviews, they're all so sweet and you have no idea how much I appreciate them. And since the last chapter was so short and sucky I thought I would make it up to you guys and write a longer one :)

So please review and let me know what you think!

xoxo zoellaa