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Twilight? Not mine.
I stop behind Jasper after he releases Bella's hand. God, she had such a death grip on my shirt as she freaked about her lack of costume, I thought she was going to tear the buttons off completely. When Jasper started pulling her up the walkway, I had no choice but to be dragged behind them. He steps up to the blue door of a pretty shabby blue house with peeling paint about three blocks from campus. It looks like a dump, but I guess this is a normal college guy living situation. A roach crawls across the wooden porch, and I grimace.
This place is disgusting.
I adjust my stupid mustache once more, making sure it is good and stuck to my face as Jasper knocks. The door is pulled open by a guy dressed like a cop, and his face breaks out into a smile when his eyes land on Jasper. This must be James.
He calls out Jasper's name, and they lift their fists, bumping knuckles. "What's up?"
"I heard there was a party here," Jasper replies with a laugh, and I smile, nudging Bella gently with my arm. She looks up at me, and I give her an encouraging nod. I'm glad she's not freaking out anymore.
"You heard right," he retorts, raising his eye brows behind his mirrored sunglasses. His head shifts in Bella's direction the moment Jasper walks through the door, but with his glasses still on, it's hard to tell exactly where he's looking. "And, who might you be?" He asks with a creepy smile. Yeah, he's definitely talking to Bella.
"B-Bella," she stutters out her name. He lowers his glasses, winking at her from atop the lenses before kissing her knuckles. She turns completely red, and I have to turn my head to hold back my laughter. Bella is so easily embarrassed.
"Jasper!" He spins around to whoever is calling his name. I don't want to be that guy – the one that follows his friend around because he doesn't know anyone else, so I turn my attention toward the living room which is on the right. There seem to be a good number of people here, dancing, laughing and drinking. I feel more than a little out of my element, but I expected that. Maybe, I should have pre-partied like Bella, but then, I've never drank before. It's probably best that I didn't.
"You wanna puff on my peace pipe?" James asks lewdly, and I look back toward Bella. He is consistently taking tiny steps toward her, and she is moving backwards at the same rate. Shit. Do I step in, tap him on the shoulder and ask him to back up? I don't want to be disrespectful. I mean, this is his party, but Bella is my friend, and she is pretty drunk.
I should definitely do something.
"Jasper," I whisper his name to get his attention. He's talking to some guy dressed like a seaman, but with dreadlocks pulled into a ponytail. He has a lot of colored beads tied into his hair which are clicking together noisily since he moves his head around very animatedly when he talks. It's all rather distracting.
Jasper turns around, brows raised in question, and I try to give him an imploring look, widening my eyes and jerking my head toward Bella. "Can we trust James?" I ask quietly, and he turns toward them and frowns. I look back to find Bella with her back flat against the wall with a look of shock and confusion on her face.
"You should probably keep an eye on her tonight," he tells me, and I nod. He walks over to them, placing his hand on James' shoulder and whispering in his ear. James shrugs but backs off, and Bella walks over to me.
Before I can go over to Jasper to thank him for stepping in, Victoria walks up, dressed like a very slutty cat and waving a camera around like she's found the meaning of life. My face immediately falls. I cannot stand that girl.
"Smile!" She calls out in her sickeningly sweet voice, and I am pushed into the middle of the five of us with Bella and Jasper on either side of me. She takes the picture, immediately checking the screen to see how it came out. She begins to laugh. "Oh, god. You guy's are practically the Village People!" I'm not exactly sure who they are besides that Y.M.C.A song, but I take it that they dressed in costumes. "Well, you're missing the flaming biker covered in leather," she continues, and I wish she'd stop talking. Her voice is grating on my nerves.
"Plus, Bella doesn't have a dick!" Jasper blurts out. He knows how easily Bella is flustered. Why would he yell out something like that? I give him a look, hoping to show my dismay.
"That's good," James adds in a greasy tone. He runs his fingers down Bella's arm. She shudders, and I can't imagine it was from enjoyment. "I would hate to find out you were actually Girl-With-Balls-Between-Her-Legs." He starts laughing hard at his words, and if he wasn't talking about Bella, I'd probably be laughing as well. She grimaces and moves quickly to my side, practically hiding behind me. I smile at her, trying to silently give her my support. I turn back toward the group. In the corner of my eye, I notice Bella swaying back and forth.
I might have never been drunk before, but I do know she needs some non alcoholic fluids to rehydrate. I look down at her with a frown, offering her my arm to keep her upright. "Let's go get you some water," I suggest, and she nods, giving me a grateful smile.
The moment we step into the adjoining room, Bella stops, so I do as well. "This isn't the kitchen," I say in pretend shock, and she giggles.
"Edward," she says quietly, almost to the point where I can't hear her, so I lean closer. "I wanted to give you something," she trails off, biting her bottom lip between her teeth.
"What?"
She pushes up on her toes and wraps her arms around me, pulling me down to her. She hesitates for a moment before placing her lips tentatively on mine. Oh my god. She's kissing me. What the hell?
While my mind runs through question after question, Bella moves her mouth against mine, taking my bottom lip between hers. Shit. That feels nice. I mean, of course it does, I'm kissing someone. Not just anyone, though. I'm kissing Bella... in the middle of a crowded party.
Bella!
"Bel..." I start, but I'm quickly interrupted by her tongue. Her tongue is in my mouth. What do I do? Fuck. I should move my tongue, right? That's what people do when they're kissing. I flick my tongue against hers, and she moans into my mouth.
Okay, I think that means she likes that. I do it again. Same response. Maybe, I'm not horrible at this which is good since I've never done this before. Honestly, at this point, what the hell else am I supposed to do, so we continue to kiss. I swallow, noticing that my mouth is extra wet, and my mind starts to wander. Is this all my spit? Is this also Bella's spit?
With that thought, the moment is kind of over for me, so I pull back. She smiles lazily, pecking my lips once more before resting her forehead against my chest. "Edward," she releases my name with a sigh, exhaling deeply. She lets out a little noise of amusement as her fingers play with the hair at the back of my head. I wish she'd drop her hands. I'm trapped between her arms, standing awkwardly since I am hunched over.
"What was that?" I mumble, finally finding my voice, but apparently not my brain since I state the obvious. "You kissed me."
She nods, not removing her face from the front of my shirt. "So..." she says, pulling the monosyllabic word out to prompt me to speak. I have no idea what she wants me to say.
"So..." I repeat.
She sighs, and I wish she'd let me go. "What did you think about that?"
"About you kissing me?"
"About us kissing, yes," she states, pulling back to look up at me. Her eyes search my face for something, but I'm not sure what.
"It was nice."
"Nice?" she questions, looking disappointed. "That's all?"
"You caught me off guard." I quickly add.
"Oh," she says in a quiet voice as her eyes fill with tears. Shit. I can't make her cry. That's not what I intended.
"No, no, no... I mean, I was almost too shocked to really respond." I stumble over my words, hoping to appease her and stop the tears from falling.
She looks confused, and I smile down at her, trying to smooth over this whole situation. "So," she says, looking up at me from under her eyelashes and placing her palm flat on my chest. "Do you want to try again?"
"Again?" I gulp, and she licks her lips, nodding and leaning closer.
Before I have time to figure out if I do indeed want to try again, her mouth is on mine. I give into the kiss, moving my lips with hers. For a moment, I leave my eyes open, awkwardly watching her face. She seems really into kissing me.
It feels nice, don't get me wrong, but I just always thought there would be something more, something electric. Honestly, though, I never gave much consideration to kissing in the first place. Before my mother got sick, I was too young to notice girls, and after, I was too busy and much too sullen for that sort of thing.
Bella makes a sort of mewing sound, like a content kitten before deepening the kiss. I take her tongue into my mouth again, circling mine around hers. Am I doing this right? She seems to enjoy it. That's good at least.
What does this mean? Does Bella like me like that, or is she merely drunk? Jasper did say the other day that he thought we were going on a double date, and Bella touches me quite a bit. I think. I'm not sure it's more than other girls normally touch guys, though. That Victoria had her hands all over Jasper in the cafeteria, and they're not dating. Does that mean she likes him, though? Does he like that red headed whore? I don't want to believe or even think about that.
Bella's teeth scrape painfully against my bottom lip. Shit, that hurt. I open my eyes, watching her again. Even though her lips are pressed against mine, I can tell she has a smile on her face. This is making her happy. I like Bella, I really do, and if this is what she wants, I should give it to her, right? I could start to see her as more than a friend if I tried.
Most likely.
I mean, I know it's weird that I've never kissed someone before tonight. I was not raised by strict parents or brought up under some crazy religion that keeps boys and girls separated until marriage. I don't have halitosis or a horrific skin condition. Compared to most men, I'm attractive. I should have done this before. I should have done this and much more. This is a good thing.
This is a good thing.
I think.
I pull away, gasping for breath, and Bella moves her lips down my jaw to my neck, kissing and licking at my skin like it's the most delicious meal. "Bella," I whisper, hoping to delicately catch her attention and bring her back into reality. She continues down my body, biting at my collarbone.
It all feels really good, but at the same time, strange. My body and mind seem to be at war, and I don't know what to do. I'm a young man with his first quasi-sexual experience happening right now, so my body is responding, my penis is hardening, but I keep thinking – this is Bella kissing me.
Bella!
I push her gently away, and she rests against me, hugging her arms around my waist as she catches her breath. "That was fantastic," she pants, and I grunt. She takes that as agreement, squeezing me tighter. "I've wanted to do that since the moment we met," she continues with a small laugh of pure joy. "Since you caught me in your arms, there has been no other place I wanted to be." She sighs and smiles up at me.
I smile back because I don't know what else to do.
"What does this mean for us, Edward?" She asks me, blushing.
"What do you mean?" Right now, I have no idea what day it is, let alone the answer to something like that.
She frowns. "You kissed me back. Did you enjoy it?"
"I did," I answer honestly. I've had the sex talk with my father. I know when you're hard you are sexually stimulated, so I must like it. Does that mean I like Bella? It must.
Right?
"So, where does that leave us," she replies. "You like kissing me... I like kissing you... we could go out and then kiss all the time..." She winks. Oh, she wants to be my girlfriend? Is that what she's saying?
"You want to be my girlfriend?" I ask, trying to clarify what she's insinuating.
"Of course!!" she exclaims excitedly, giving me a wide smile. "I'd love to be your girlfriend!"
Well, that's not exactly what I meant to happen.
*~E~*
"Eet's all about 'One Love,' mon."
I nod with a small shrug to the Sailor, now known as Laurent as he tells me his philosophy on life. He's quite... interesting. I guess that would be the best word to describe him. I have no idea how I got stuck in the corner of the hallway with him, discussing our lives and shit, but here I am. Bella sneaked away a moment ago to call Jane to give her the good news.
I seem to have myself a girlfriend.
"So, you believe everyone is equal. I can get behind that," I tell him with a smile. He nods happily, the beads in his hair clacking in agreement.
"Ah, a mon after my own heart, no? That ees a wonderful thing. Do you smoke?" He asks, pulling a cigarette out of his inside pocket with a flick of his wrist.
"You roll your own cigarettes?" I ask without thinking.
He laughs, a loud throaty laugh, resting his hands on his knees to support his shaking frame. "Ees not tobacco, mon. This right here," he says, holding it up in triumph, "ees Blue Mystic." He says the name as though it should be revered.
"It's marijuana?" I whisper. I'm sure my eyes are wide. I've never seen drugs before.
"Oui."
"Oh."
I fidget uncomfortably as he lights the tip of the joint, sucking in deeply and holding his breath before exhaling large puffs of smoke. "Ees very smooth." He smiles and holds it out to me.
"Have you seen Jasper?"
"I thought you wanted to hit this shit, mon."
"Umm... not tonight, but thank you very much for your generous offer." I barely even hear the words as they tumble from my mouth. He gives me a funny look before shrugging and taking another hit.
"The last time I saw Jasper he was in the dining room with James and Victoria," he informs me, taking another large puff. He exhales, coughing just a bit. "Fuck, that ees good!"
I raise my hand in farewell and search for the dining room. It shouldn't be that hard to find – it's the room with the table. It's not like this is some mansion or something. I take the first doorway I find, but a hand shoots out, blocking my entrance.
"Excuse me," I try being polite, but the arm does not move. I lean forward to find that the arm is connected to my favorite person.
Victoria.
"Listen, Edward," she says to me. "I've got nothing against you, but I can't let you through this door."
"Why not?" I ask with a huff.
"Jasper is right through there, you see," she says, pointing to a connecting room, "and he's drunk off his ass." She puts her hands on her hips, moving to stand in front of me.
"Okay," I say with a small shrug, urging her with my hands to continue.
She rolls her eyes. "Do you know why he's so drunk?"
"Fuck if I know, Victoria. If this is some kind of game, I'm really not interested in playing."
"This is definitely not a game. I don't fuck around with my friend's feelings, Edward. He's sitting in there, barely conscious because he drank himself into a stupor after seeing you make out with Sacajawea."
"Why would he get drunk over something like that?" I question sharply. I am in no mood for her, especially when it comes to Jasper.
"He wouldn't say, but that doesn't change anything." She gives me a smug smile, and I give her a scowl in return.
"I get that you're trying to protect Jasper, but you never have to protect him from me!" I exclaim defensively. "If he really is that drunk, he should go home. So, if you don't mind," I continue, stepping around her, "I'm going to go check on him."
I ignore her protests and walk into the other room where Jasper is sitting a card table with James and two other guys. This must be the dining room. Classy.
"Hey," I call out to him. He looks up, his eyes blood shot and he makes an ugly face at me. Shit. I did piss him off. What did I do? "Jasper," I start, but he quickly interrupts me.
"What?" He asks harshly. "I'm fuckin' busy!" He lifts his glass, taking another shot of a golden liquid. My eyes drift toward the bottle – Juarez tequila. God, it smells like rubbing alcohol.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea, man. He's pretty worked up about something, and you seem to play a large part in that," James speaks up from the corner, looking at me from over the top of his sunglasses.
"So, I've been told," I state evenly, turning my attention back to my drunk roommate. "I really would like to talk to you."
"Fine," he grumbles, leaning heavily on the collapsible table to push himself out of his chair. It shakes unsteadily under his weight, and everyone quickly grabs their drinks, forgetting about everything else on the plastic surface. Jasper follows me into the empty kitchen. "Whaddya want?" he slurs.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fuckin' fine!" he yells, and I cringe back from the deep timber of his voice. His eyes widen at my cowardly stance, and I'm immediately ashamed of myself. I shouldn't be afraid of Jasper. "Fuck," he curses quietly, taking off his cowboy hat and running his fingers through his disheveled hair.
"Edward," he says my name calmly, and I relax. "Listen, I'm an asshole, and I'm..." He burps. "Wasted. I ain't makin' any sense."
"It's okay," I concede. "How much have you had to drink?"
"More than my fair share, I'll tell you that," he laughs humorlessly. The smell of the tequila fresh on his breath makes me grimace. How was he shooting that shit?
"Yeah," I say because I don't know what else to say, and the silence is fucking uncomfortable.
"Yeah," he agrees, nodding his head sloppily. Then, after a moment, he whispers, "I saw you." He looks at the floor, seemingly very interested in the dirty linoleum.
"Bella?" I question.
"Yep." He looks up at me, his eyes alight with an emotion that I have no idea how to register. "Y'all kissed."
"She kissed me," I tell him, tapping my foot nervously.
"She took it?" He asks fiercely, his face scrunching in sadness.
"Huh?"
He shakes his head, rubbing his palms over his reddened cheeks. "Did she know she just took your first kiss?" He asks again, clarifying what he meant.
"Well..." I start quietly.
"At a party? Surrounded by drunks? You should have had better than that, Edward!"
For some reason his words upset me more than they should. "I can't change it now, Jasper!" I exclaim loudly, talking violently with my hands. "And, if I was a normal guy, not some prude freak, my first kiss would have happened years ago," I finish, quieter than before.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Edward," he murmurs. "You're fuckin' perfect."
I blush at the sincerity of his words, intoxicated or not. "Thanks."
"Blushin'." He snorts, smiling smugly to himself. "Fuckin' perfect," he repeats.
I lift my hand to the back of my neck, rubbing my tense muscles. "She didn't know it was my first kiss," I tell him in an almost inaudible whisper. "No one knew that but you."
"Me?"
"Yeah, man, as fast as it is, you're my best friend," I admit sheepishly. "I trust you."
"Me?" he asks again, holding his hand to his chest in shock.
"Don't make me say it again, loser," I joke.
He raises his hands in defeat, smiling broadly at me. "I've never had a best friend before."
"Me neither," I laugh. He smiles at me, leaning in slowly, and I open my arms to give him a hug, but in that moment, he throws up all over my boots.
*~E~*
"There you are!" Bella says happily when she enters the room, plopping down on my lap. Well, that's new. I wish she would have asked before she sat on me.
"Where have you been?" I ask her with a smile, making conversation.
"I called Jane, and she seemed to be having a good time. She's staying at Alec's tonight," she tells me with smirk. "Then, Jake called to wish me a Happy Halloween, and we just started talking," she admits in a quiet voice. "We're just friends, though!"
"That's good," I tell her, confused by her words once again. I never feel as though I'm not the same page as her. "I'm glad you have good friends. It's important." My eyes drift to Jasper who is passed out on the couch next to me. I've been sitting guard for him since he yakked on my Doc Martins and then proceeded to curl up on the stained flowery couch.
"Well, most guys wouldn't like their girlfriends talking to other guys," she says quietly, watching me closely.
I shrug. "I'm not most guys. I'm just Edward."
"I know, and you're perfect!" I force a smile. For some reason, those words don't hold the same caliber when Bella says them, and I don't know how to feel about that. Bella's my friend... I mean, my girlfriend. I should care about her opinion the most, right? Jasper mumbles unintelligibly and shifts in his drunken slumber, resting his head on my shoulder, his cowboy hat pressing into my cheek. I smile at his open mouthed quiet snores, shaking my head.
"How long has he been out," Bella asks, tugging on my blue jean shirt to get my attention.
I look at her, pausing in thought. "I don't know. About twenty minutes." She nods, yawning deeply. "Hey." I gently yank on one of her pigtails. "You ready to go?"
She smiles sheepishly. "Yeah. Do you want to come back to my dorm?"
I look at her then back to Jasper and shake my head. "I have to get Jasper back. It'd be wrong of me to leave him here."
"These are his friends. I'm sure they wouldn't mind him crashing on the couch."
"Yeah, but this party is no where near done," I tell her. "I don't want to just leave him here. Something could happen."
"I guess," she admits begrudgingly. She gets up off of my lap, smoothing out her tiny skirt. "Will he even wake up?"
"I haven't tried yet," I direct at her before turning my attention to him. "Jasper." I shake his shoulder, and he moves around, throwing his arm over my chest and nuzzling his face into my neck. I chuckle at his unconscious actions, smiling at Bella, but she doesn't look amused. I stop laughing and shake him a little harder. "Jasper," I try again.
"Edward," he mumbles into my neck, and I shudder from the feeling of his breath tickling the sensitive skin there.
"Jasper," I say loudly this time, pushing him back by his shoulders. He finally opens his eyes, lackadaisically smirking at me.
"Edward," he says my name again, and I smile at him in response.
"Do you think you can walk?" I ask, and he shrugs. "We need to get back to the dorm."
He pouts childishly. "I guess. I'm fuckin' tired, though."
I stand and stick my hand out for him. "I know, I know. It's not far." He nods with a sigh, grabbing my hand, and I pull him to his feet. He wobbles drunkenly from the quick movement, and I hold onto his waist to keep him steady.
His eyes widen for a moment before he clears his throat and pushes my hands off of him. "I've got it," he grumbles, and I nod in agreement, stepping away from him but staying close enough in case he needs me.
Bella clears her throat and puts her small hand in mine, and we leave the party. Jasper starts mumbling unintelligibly, but overall is moving just as quickly as Bella and I. We walk in silence until we reach Bella's dorm. Before she goes in, she grabs me once more, smashing our lips together. I try to pull away, uncomfortable because Jasper is standing right next to us. She makes a sound of protest, but releases me and heads inside. I call out that I'll call her, and the door slams behind her in response.
I turn back to Jasper, but find that he is no where near me. I can't even see him which worries me. I take off toward the dorm and after a few minutes come upon a figure clumsily walking through the dark.
"Jasper!" I call out, and he stops, standing straight and still, a shadowy figure in the moonlight. I quickly catch up to him. "Why'd you leave?"
"Givin' you privacy," he barks out. He starts walking again, and I fall in step beside him. By the time we get to the dorm, his eyes are halfway shut, and I know I need to get him into his bed soon before he passes out in the bushes outside the dorm. I slide my fob across the lock and usher him inside. In the elevator, he slumps against the railing, pretty much asleep standing up. The doors dings open, and I pull his arm over my shoulder, physically supporting him for the trek down the hallway.
He makes a few noises in the back of his throat, silly sounds that make me smile, and he puts his other arm around the front of my stomach, holding himself up. "Mmmm." Wordless sounds continually escape his lips.
"I know, Jasper," I whisper encouragingly. "We're almost there. Stay with me, buddy."
"Oh, I'm with you," he laughs. "All the time, ya' know?"
"Sure," I agree even though I'm not.
He chuckles and rests his head on my shoulder. I pause when I feel his lips on my neck. I stop breathing, just waiting. A second later he breathes deeply against my skin, and I suck in some much needed oxygen and relax my shoulders the best I can with a 175 pound guy hanging on me. "Here we are," I say to myself as I somehow manage to slide the key into the lock, open the door and close it behind us all without letting Jasper fall.
I sit him on his bed and he immediately drops back onto his pillow. I take off his cowboy hat, placing it on the nightstand and pull off his boots. In a feat of strength I didn't know I had, I pull the comforter out from under him and cover him up. He snuggles deep into his pillow with a smile on his face, and I breathe a sigh of relief that we made the walk back with no accidents.
I gingerly take off my boots, more than aware of the dried vomit that is still on the shoes. I could not clean it all off in James' dirty bathroom, since there wasn't even toilet paper, and slip on my flip flops. So as not to wake Jasper, I decide to use the sink in the bathroom down the hall to clean the rest of it off. I grab the boots by the strings and quietly close the door behind me.
I take a moment to look in the mirror in the silent bathroom, reflecting on the night. I look exactly the same. It's funny, but I always assumed I'd be somehow different after kissing someone. I remember the way my parents looked at each other, right up to the very end of my mother's life, like if they were the only two people on the planet, that would be fine with them. You could tell how much they loved each other, and even though, I've never really thought about actually having a girlfriend, I have always wanted that.
Could Bella be that for me? She seems to like me very much. She was really into the kissing, but I just don't know. Aren't you supposed to feel more? Butterflies? Sparks?
My eyes droop, and I quickly clean the boots to the best of my ability. As it is, I don't think I'll be wearing these things again.
I head back to the room, shuffling on sleepy feet. I open and close the door gently, making as little noise as I possibly can. I take off all of my clothes, which smell of cigarettes and beer, and hop into bed in just my boxers.
"Edward," Jasper mumbles my name, and I sit up, staring into the darkness.
"Jasper?" I whisper, wondering if I woke him up, but the only response is a small snore. I smile at that and quickly fall asleep.
Next chapter, we get the morning after...
I can't promise a sneak peek because I don't have one written, but I'll try!
Alright. Lay it on me. I'm ready.
