Brooke tried to calm herself. She was angry with Nathan and was hurt by Lucas. Her life was crappy and she knew it.
Focus Brooke, she told herself. She got up and washed her face from the tears. Why was she hurt? Why was he hurt? They had a dial! Their deal repeated in her head over and over again. She had a car drive lying ahead of her, with him. She needed to focus. And what was wrong with Lucas, why would he tell Nathan he wanted her back. She couldn't decide where the pain in her heart came from. She wasn't sure whom to blame for all that. Howe did she get here? In the whole Scott brothers dilemma?!
It knocked on her door. Showtime she says to herself and walks to open it.
"Hey, we need to go" Nathan mumbles without looking at her.
First cut at her heart and she tries to ignore it.
"Right" she whispers and gets her bag. She tries her best to avoid his gaze, she knows he is rather hurt or cold and she can't take any of it right now!
"Hey" she hears another voice from the door. Lucas. Her heart beats faster now.
She turns around with a smile "Hey Luke" she mutters and looks at him. All façade, but she tries her best to play her role.
"I wanted to talk to you if it's okay?" he glances at Nathan who nods unable to say something at first. "See you in the car Brooke" he walks off.
"What's wrong broody?" she tries to collect herself. She needs to be more like herself now, not showing that she is about to collapse.
"Brooke, I noticed we are getting along better" he smirks.
"Yeah" she agrees her heart pumps like crazy. They are getting along better because she talks to him at all now, instead of ignoring him. But they had some productive phone calls she must agree. She knows what will come next and she tries to avoid it, but can't. She doesn't know how.
"I like that. And I hope you will find a chance to forgive me, because it is you" Lucas says and takes her hand. She feels the warm of his hand and smiles. She can't control it, it's just what she do.
"Me?" she wonders.
"The girl I love, the girl that I want to be with" Lucas says "I just want you to know that"
"Luke" she wants to say she is not ready, that she can't do that.
"I give you time" Lucas smiles and kisses her cheek "Because I love you"
Brooke shivers and notices the pain it causes her to stand next to him and hears Nathan's voice inside her:
"So what was I? The pill you took to get over the pain?"
She shakes her head to get a clear thought.
"Luke I need time and I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry" she murmurs and walks past him.
"Brooke" he looks after her "Take your time, I'll be here"
She smiles and holds back the tears. She knows he is honest, maybe that's what hurts her the most.
This was the second crime for today she thinks and walks to through the door towards Nathan's car. She opens the trunk and puts her bag in there and then opens the door to sit down beside him.
He just starts the motor and drives fast away.
*****
It had been 15 minutes already and they didn't speak. She watched the other cars drive by and she could still feel how tense he was beside her. She felt him clench and unclench his fists. She wanted to say anything, but she didn't know what to say.
"You need to get something to eat?" she asked very politely referring to the sounds of his stomach.
"Brooke" Nathan just says while shaking his head.
"Oh, come on Nate" she whispers and looks at him.
"No Brooke" he refuses to look at her cold and emotionless he tries to avoid her. She still doesn't know what to do exactly so she just grabs his hand.
"Please I need to get something to eat" she murmurs.
He stops at the next drive trough.
"Nathan, stop this" she says as she watches him hit the brakes.
"You wanted food, you get food" he says looking straight forward. Brooke licks her lip in pain and nods.
"Alright"
She waits till it is time to order and leans over him to order a cheeseburger and a coke. She feels him shake in anger and feels his uneven breath on her hair.
"Okay" the voice answers and Nathan wants to drive again, but Brooke stays where she is and tries to catch his gaze.
"Brooke what are we doing here?" he asks finally giving up.
"Well you pout and I try to distract you" she teases and plays with his hair.
"You are succeeding" he shows his arrogant smile.
"So you are still pissed at me?" she wonders while caressing his jaw.
He pushes her away.
"What did he say Brooke?" Nathan wants to know. He needs to know where they stand and he knows too well that he could lose her with that. She is not ready to commit to him, and he might push her just as much as for her to break free from their dial. Wouldn't that be healthier? For him at least? And probably for her as well?
She sits down on her seat and breaths out.
"Nothing important" she hums.
"Right" he laughs bitterly.
"Okay he said he wants me back" she says and presses her lips to focus and not to let the tears out. "Are you happy now? Are you?" she screams at him.
His chin tightens and his eyes focus on her, she can see the pain in them.
"So you are back with him?" he presses out.
"No" she yells and puts her head into her hands.
They are quite for a moment and he turns on the radio:
Leave
me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong
kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For
somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
Brooke notices that her thoughts are familiar to the song and Nathan turns off the radio again.
"Nate, I don't want to hurt you" she whispers.
"Right" he presses out "But?"
"No buts" Brooke says and leans forward to kiss him slowly and he gets lost in the kiss until some cars signal that he has to drive. Brooke gets her burger and her tears that escaped her eyes while she kissed him, start to dry. She bites her food and offers it to him.
"Let's pause somewhere" Nathan suggests and she just nods.
He stops the car somewhere near the next forest and looks at her. She offers him the burger and smiles. He loves her dimples and her smile so much he just wants to kiss her every time, he sees it. He takes the burger and takes a bite.
"Nathan I didn't want to hurt you! I don't want to hurt you" she murmurs while watching him carefully.
"I get it Brooke" Nathan says after he swallowed. "You just want him back"
"Honestly I don't know that" she whispers.
Nathan feels the knife tearing his heart apart. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe even.
"I care about you Brooke" he mutters and looks at her.
"I know" she nods and he is sad that she can't tell him, she cares about him too.
"I do" she answers his thoughts.
"You do what?" he tries to fake his arrogant smile.
"I care about you too" she rolls her eyes and leans into a kiss with him.
"It's just hard. I need a closure with him" she whispers against his lips.
"What am I supposed to do Brooke?" he wonders.
"Give me time, or at least cut me some slack for being emotional towards him" she breaths out.
"I try my best" he promises her.
*****
She walks through the door where Rachel already waits for her.
"What the hell took you so long?" her friend wonders.
"I…" Brooke wants to answer.
"Where should I put that stuff?" Nate's voice is heard at the door.
"Now I know" Rachel teases "Hey Nate, feel like at home and please replace the beer you like to steal from my fridge"
"Hey Rach" Nathan smiles at her and puts all the bags down.
Brooke grins at the redhead as she walks away shaking her head.
"She doesn't like you" she teases.
"I don't need her to like me, I know someone else here cares for me" Nathan teases her back.
"Oh get over that already" she says and falls down the couch. Nathan doesn't move an inch.
"Oh get your ass over here" she smirks at him and he sits down beside her.
"You meant what you said then?" he wonders and looks at his pretty brunette girl.
"I try at least" she jokes and leans near him. She wanted to let him in more. Brooke wasn't sure what to do with Lucas and if she could let Nathan in, but she decided to take one step after the other.
"Ray Ray, what about a pizza and a movie?" Brooke yelled upstairs.
"Does Scott stay?" Rachel wondered.
"Yeah" Brooke smiles as he nods.
"I'm not sure I want to eat with your boy toy, it might lead him to the conclusion that he is more than that" Rachel screams down.
Nathan raises his eyebrow and Brooke laughs.
"Get your ass down here bitch" she yells and strokes Nathan's arm.
"Oh isn't that cozy?" the redhead teases and sits down beside Brooke.
"Shut up" she punches her playfully and then dials the pizza place.
"It took a ride to make her crack?" Rachel wonders at the younger Scott.
"Well I'm good I guess" he smirks. The red haired shakes her head and looks at Brooke who stood up to get a better reception.
"As long as you believe that! It would be healthier for both of you, if you were just two guys hot for each other than starting the whole attachment stuff" Rachel noted.
"Maybe" Nathan whispers "But that's not what I want from her"
Rachel rolls her eyes when she sees that Nathan is honestly falling for Brooke or let's rephrase that he had fallen for her already. You can tell by the sparks in his eyes when she smiles and his smile when she was near him. Brooke was already into him, Rachel knew this much. She saw the cheer captain locking eyes with the basketball player and her behavior right now on the couch gave her away anyway. But she wasn't sure if Brooke was aware that she still had a reaction when she heard Lucas' name or saw him. She is literally torn between two lovers. Rachel could see trouble lying ahead. They watched the movie and Nathan had to leave because his parents were to come home in the evening and it was back to "Family tragedy" as he said.
"Bye" he smirked at the brunette and kissed her head; she shivered and smiled at him.
As soon as he was out the door tears ran down her face.
"Brooke what's wrong" the redhead wondered.
"I…he…Lucas" Brooke sobbed.
"That's what I thought" Rachel walked over to her friend and hugged her.
"Nathan is great! He is. He makes me laugh and I feel I could fall for him" Brooke says between the sobs.
"But you aren't over Lucas?" Rachel wondered.
"Not yet at least" she agrees.
"Come on Brooke" Rachel walks her friend to the couch.
"I feel so torn" Brooke cries "I feel like I can't choose right! I lose one of them whatever I do"
"Sure, but you need to let one of them go" Rachel strokes over Brookes hair.
"I know, but how. I feel bad for both of them. Like, I used them. I never wanted to" she sobs again.
"They'll understand" the redhead tries again.
"I don't know! I'm lost Ray. Lucas he is the guy I gave my love and Nathan he makes me so happy right now" she says and closes her eyes to let her friend comfort her.
