Leaping In

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: This is not my sandbox, this is just my favorite place to play. I promise to put all of the toys back when I'm done.

A/N: As you read this, you may recall my note from Chapter 3. This was written a while ago... but I wasn't going to tell you. No spoilers! Thanks again everyone who is reading. Enjoy!


Chapter 7

It was nearing midnight before any of them were able to make their way home. Hobbs was not hopeful, but she would take what they had before the judge the next morning and do her best with it. She would like to have had more, but so would all of them.

Andy had not been long in his bed when he felt the mattress beside him dip. He was hovering in that space, just before sleep, and wondered that he was already beginning to dream. He had been sleeping alone for several days now, and when Sharon left the Murder Room ahead of him with Rusty, he had not expected that would change anytime soon.

She didn't say anything, and he didn't really have to question who was climbing into his bed. The familiar scent of her perfume had already reached his nose, and besides which, there was no one else that would dare. There was no one else to dare. Andy waited, but the bed shifted again only once, as she got comfortable on her side. She didn't touch him, and she still didn't speak. He was lying on his side, facing the wall, but lifted his head and craned it toward her. "I thought I was in trouble?"

Sharon sighed softly. There was just enough humor in his statement to take the sting out of the brooding tone. "You are." She turned her face into the pillow beneath her, but that couldn't stop her lips from curving into a smile. The truth was that she had missed him, and in punishing him, she was really punishing herself too. The thought of sleeping alone, for even one more night, had left her feeling sad and just a little bit restless.

"Thought you were going home?" He rolled onto his back and continued to stare at the back of her head. Light from the window just barely illuminated the room enough that he could make out the pale glow of her shoulders. She had changed before getting into bed; the nightgown that she was wearing was one that she left the last time she was there with him.

"I did." She lifted her shoulder in a small shrug. "We dropped Buzz off and then I took Rusty home. Then I came here," she added, in a much quieter voice.

He watched her grow still and knew that she was waiting. He sighed quietly and rolled onto his side again, this time to face her. His arm snaked out and curled around her waist. He drew her to him and tucked her against his chest. Andy hissed when her legs curled and she settled her feet against his calves. They were always so damned cold. When her arms came up to wrap around his and hold him closer, he dropped a kiss to her shoulder. "Missed you," he mumbled.

She hummed quietly. "Me too." Sharon was already starting to warm, and already feeling much better. She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "I do not need a white knight," she whispered.

"I know." Andy settled down behind her. His fingers stroked a lazy pattern against her stomach. "That wasn't the point." Because he didn't want to fight with her again, he didn't go any farther with it than that.

Sharon sighed again. "I know." He would do it again. It was going to irritate her to no end. That was just the way that he was. She couldn't change him. She didn't want to change him. She loved him, even when he was infuriating. She ran her foot along his calf and smiled when he grumbled. Sharon snuggled further into him and let her eyes close. Already she was resting better than she had in days. She felt his lips touch her shoulder again and turned her face toward him. The kiss was light, almost chaste before she lay her head down again.

When Sharon woke again, some hours later, it was to the sound of Andy's alarm. She rolled, but found the space beside her empty. That wasn't altogether unusual. He could be an early riser. She lay there for a few moments listening to the sounds inside the house. It was oddly devoid. Usually if he was already up, he was in the shower, or making breakfast. She heard neither of those things.

Sharon rose and made her way through the house. It was still dark. The kitchen was empty, as had been the bathroom. She peeked outside, but found that her car now sat alone in his driveway. A frown drew her brows together. If they had been called out he would have let her know before he left, and Lieutenant Provenza would have called her.

She walked back through the house and found her phone where she had left it, plugged into the extra charger on his dresser. There were no missed calls. She did find a text, simple and without much explanation.

Had to go out. I'll talk to you soon.

Sharon hummed thoughtfully as she replaced the phone. It was odd, but not overly concerning. She went through her morning routine and decided that she would save whatever questions she had for later. Sharon locked up the house and left it as she found it. There wasn't a lot of time for her to ponder the peculiarities of her lover leaving in the middle of the night. She needed to meet DDA Hobbs and Chief Taylor in court. They were going to be presenting their depressing lack of evidence to Judge Grove. Sharon was hoping for the best, but like Hobbs, she expected him to toss them out of his courtroom. He was going to want more than what they had, but there was no more to be found, not for lack of trying, though.

When Sharon eventually made it to the Murder Room, nearing mid-morning, she expected to see Andy there. His desk stood empty and undisturbed, just as he had left it the night before. Sharon filed that thought away for later and walked over to the Murder Board. She studied it for a moment before she sighed. Her shoulders slumped, only a fraction, and she began to erase all of the notes that they made.

"Didn't go well?" Provenza turned in his chair to watch her.

"I'm afraid not." Sharon dropped the eraser and turned. "Martin Hollings is being released. Judge Grove ruled that the evidence we have is not conclusive enough to go to trial. He is being processed out of holding as we speak."

"So that's it?" Julio leaned forward in his chair. "We're calling it over? Do we want to put a couple of guys on him, see if he leads us to the evidence?"

"No." Sharon shook her head and smiled sadly. "Given the circumstances surrounding his arrest, and that he is still discussing filing a law suit, the Department has decided not to push its luck at this time. We will have to find another way. Until then, Major Crimes has been instructed to return to our previous case load."

"In the meantime, the Hollings murder goes in our open cases." Provenza rolled his eyes. "How did I know that would happen? They gave us eighteen hours to clean up someone else's mess, then we get to eat it against our close rate."

Sharon hummed quietly. She could not disagree with that. Instead she took a step closer to his desk and jerked her head toward the empty one near her office. "Lieutenant?"

Provenza glanced over at his partner's desk, and then he shrugged at her. "He called earlier, said he couldn't make it. He was going to be tied up with something." Actually he hadn't so much called as Provenza had found that message on his voicemail when he arrived that morning. Flynn had not answered when he tried to call him; honestly he had been planning to ask the Captain. He squinted up at her now. She seemed as confused as he was. "Want me to call him?"

She thought about it. He had followed procedure by informing Provenza of his absence, and he told her that they would talk later. While it concerned her that he had not mentioned missing work, hunting him down in the middle of the day might be stepping over the line. "No," she said finally. "I'm sure that one of us will talk to him later."

"Probably." Provenza tilted his head at her. That was her way of procuring his agreement to tell her if his partner called again. He knew she would do likewise. "So, Hollings?"

"Not our problem at the moment." Sharon strode toward her office. "However, Lieutenant, if you find a way to properly express our gratitude to Robbery Homicide, do let me know."

The look she cast back at him made him grin. Provenza nodded. "Absolutely, Captain. I'll start making a list right now."

"Excellent. I look forward to reading it." She smirked at him before closing the door to her office.

A few hours later when her door opened again, Sharon was lost in a world of time sheets and overtime expenses. She barely registered the sound of the door opening, but the strong scent of garlic and basil reached her nose. Her stomach growled in response. She looked up and her surprised expression gave way to a warm smile. "Hey you."

"Hey." Emily stepped into the office and held up the bag she was carrying. "I brought lunch. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, actually." Sharon closed the files on her desk and placed them aside. "I think I adore you."

Emily laughed. "Well let me know when you decide." She walked over and placed the bag on the desk. She took out two containers of pasta and set them on her mother's desk, along with a couple of salads. A knock at the door had Emily walking over before her mother could answer the summons. She pulled it open and took the two bottles of water that Buzz held.

Sharon's brows arched as he moved on without speaking. Her lips pursed. She waited until Emily was settled in front of her, in a chair on the other side of the desk before allowing her head to tilt in askance. "Not spending your lunch break with Buzz?"

"No." Emily fought the urge to smile. "I see him all the time. I'm spending it with you." She lifted the top off of her salad. "Don't look at me with that tone of voice," she said, without even meeting her mother's knowing gaze.

"Hm." Sharon studied her pasta for a moment before digging in to the lobster ravioli. "Fair enough. Tell me what I want to know and I won't have to."

Emily looked up. She rolled her eyes at the smirk that was now curving her mother's lips upward. "You're not even trying to not be obvious. You used to be better at this."

Her brows lifted again, but Sharon's eyes sparkled with humor. "Perhaps I've simply decided that a more direct approach is both more timely and… more amusing. Speak." When her daughter simply took another bite, her eyes narrowed. "Emily Ann."

She sighed, rather loudly. Emily reached for her bottle of water. "How do you stand it?" She waved her hand in a circle, indicating the office around them. "All of this. Being around cops all day, getting close to them, dealing with that… dating one," she added, because she didn't feel like having it dragged out of her.

"Oh." She sat her fork down and rested her chin in her hand. "I see." That hadn't taken very long at all. Sharon studied her daughter closely. "Which part is it, exactly, that you want to know about? The long hours? The unexpected schedule changes? Emily, I would think that you were already more than familiar with both of those things."

"Yes." She nodded slowly. "Those are fine. I grew up with that. Things happen, and we learn to be flexible. Not everything can be exactly as we want it to be." She shrugged. "It makes the moments that are as we planned that much better. No, I'm talking about the rest." Emily pushed her salad around in its bowl. "The fear."

"Hm." Sharon hummed. So they got to it rather quickly. She wondered if that might be it. She thought for a moment. Buzz had ridden out a few nights before and if she didn't miss her guess, he was scheduled to do another ride along that evening. "That part never gets easier. You simply learn to accept it as a part of your relationship."

"I suppose." Her head inclined. Emily shrugged. "I thought I was used to that part too. It was different when we were younger. I don't think that I ever really put it all together before. I thought it was going to be the same thing." She sighed. Emily offered a sheepish smile. "That was before I was up all night waiting for him to get home. Now I'm wondering what I'm getting myself into."

"Have you spoken to him about this?" Sharon lifted her fork again. "Emily, this is really a conversation that you should probably be having with Buzz." The oddity of saying those words was not lost on her, but Sharon pushed it aside. "If the reality of your relationship is weighing too heavily on you, then you really need to talk about it."

"No. It's not." Emily shook her head. "I don't think it is. I haven't changed my mind. I just don't know how best to cope with all of it. Having a mother for a police officer is a lot different than having a boyfriend who wants to be one. Besides, by the time I was old enough to understand what your job was, you were already with Internal Affairs. He's patrolling the streets. It's a little different."

"Is it?" Sharon sat back in her chair with a smile. She could tell her daughter the number of times that she had been shot at during her years with FID but she didn't want to unduly frighten her. Instead, she just offered a small, delicate shrug. "Emily, I know that it seemed different, and that was the point. That was what I wanted you to think, but it really wasn't. My reality was not much different then and it is not that different now. Yes, it's true; he may leave and not come home. That is a risk that we all take. It is a sacrifice that we all have to ask our families to accept. It is a fact that I remind myself of every day when I tell your brother good-bye in the morning. It is a thought that crosses my mind every time that I send my team into the field. What you have to ask yourself is if that sacrifice is worth all of the moments that may come before it. You have to question whether or not you are willing to walk away from what may never happen, and lose all of the things that you could have, for the sake of playing it safe."

Emily contemplated her salad for another moment before looking up at her mother through her lashes. "Is that what you tell yourself about Andy?"

Her gaze shifted. Sharon stared at nothing while she thought about that. "Honestly, Emily, I think my situation is completely different. I know what can go wrong, but I also know what can go right. That doesn't make me worry any less, but I am part of this life too. My concerns are his. We share them." Sharon shook her head. She looked at her daughter again and gave her a gentle smile. "Honestly, darling, I may not be the one that you need to talk to about this. I cannot look at it from your perspective…" She trailed off for just a moment, and then said words she never imagined would pass her lips. "But your father can. He may be the one that you need to ask." She shrugged. "He didn't leave me because of my job. Our relationship fell apart because of his addiction, but before that happened, we were happy. Very happy, actually; your father and I had some good years together, and during that time he had to cope with having a wife that was in law enforcement."

Her eyes had widened. Emily shook her head. "You're sending me to dad? For advice? On relationships?"

"Hm." Sharon nodded. "It looks that way, doesn't it?" She was fully aware of just how… odd that sounded. "Keep him on topic, and I'm sure that it will be fine. In the meantime, what I can tell you is this. If you love him, then you are going to have to love everything about him. That means supporting his dreams, even when they terrify you."

"Or if they keep us miles apart?" Emily gave a wan smile. She was not unaware of the challenges that lay ahead of them, especially when her career would be taking her back to New York in a few weeks.

"Didn't you tell me that this was your opportunity to determine what this relationship actually meant to both of you?" Sharon reached for her water bottle. "Focus on that, at least for now. The hard decisions will come later. There will be a time to discuss them, but do not let them color your experience before it has even really started."

Emily smiled brightly. "You know, I may not need to talk to dad at all." She pointed her fork at her mother. "You still give the best advice in town."

Sharon smiled brightly. "I do, don't I?"

She laughed. "Yes, and I'm so glad that you know it too."

"Well," she beamed, "when I'm good." Sharon placed the water back on her desk and studied her daughter for a moment. "I have a question. I haven't brought this one up yet, but I wonder if it is something that the two of you have considered." When she had her daughter's attention, Sharon leaned forward. "The age difference. There is at least ten years there."

"Just over." Emily shrugged. "We have, actually. It bothered him, at first. I think it still does a little. I've dated men my own age, and there seems to be a similar problem among all of them. They just aren't willing to accept the compromise that both of our careers can be important. Or they haven't decided what to do with their lives yet. I'm not saying that all men my age have that problem, but the ones that I've met do. I did think about it," she explained, "when that topic came up between us. Sooner or later he may want things that I'm not be ready for. In the end…" Her gaze drifted as she smiled. "I don't know, we just clicked. I can laugh with him, you know? He can be so ridiculously good sometimes that I think he needs someone who can shake him up a little."

"Ah!" Sharon pointed a finger at her daughter. "Not too much shaking. I like that about him." Her head tilted while she considered what Emily was saying. The age difference concerned her, for just the reasons that Emily mentioned. Her daughter was turning thirty soon. In many ways her life was still just starting, but she supposed in others she was becoming well grounded. "Emily…" Sharon sighed. "I am not going to tell you who you can and cannot date. I like Buzz. I really do, he really is one of the good ones. I'm just not completely convinced that I like him with you."

"I know." Emily looked down. There was a soft smile tugging one corner of her mouth upward. "I love you for letting me figure this out on my own. It may not work. Or it might. Like we said, this is our chance to figure that out. For all we know we'll find that we're better off as friends. There is just something there, though. I can't explain it. I'm nuts about him."

"I want you to be happy," Sharon said. "That is my one, truest wish for you. If this makes you happy…" As unsettled as she still was about it, her daughter was well beyond needing her to intervene in her life.

"I am happy. I am!" Emily laughed. "I'm dancing like crazy right now, and there are all these things happening in my career. There's a guy that I really care about, and I want to see where that goes. I'm good, mom, I promise."

"Okay." Sharon resolved to let it go, at least for now. It was a topic that she would reserve the right to revisit at a later time. For the time being, she would talk to her daughter about lighter, happier topics.

It was well after Emily had gone that Sharon found herself standing in the Major Crimes break room. Her head was tilted while she gazed at a spot on the counter. There was a cup of tea before her, and her mind was lost in thought as she waited for the teabag to finish steeping. She was thinking about Andy again. The day was more than half over and still she had not heard from him. That wasn't like him. She was worried about him, but each time that she was tempted to reach out she refrained. She was caught in a place between wanting him to know that she trusted him and being deeply concerned.

Sharon kept reminding herself that he would come to her when he was ready. Whatever had called him away that morning could not keep him away indefinitely. Very soon she was sure that she would hear from him and there would be some explanation for his absence. That did not stop the worry, but they were neither of them in need of a protector. Relationships were a matter of give and take, and sometimes they required just the patience of waiting.

As she thought of that her mind took her back over the conversation with Emily. Sharon sighed quietly. The entire situation was still unsettling to her. Her daughter was only a few months shy of her thirtieth birthday, and would be ending the year after that particular milestone. It was one that made her feel quite old herself. Sharon could not help but feeling that, despite Emily's age and apparent maturity, she should involve herself more. The problem was that her daughter was a little bit beyond being told by her mother who she should and should not be dating.

The completely honest truth was that Emily could do much worse than who she was seeing currently. She could meet someone like any number of the suspects that Sharon had encountered during her career, or worse. There were those too who seemed completely innocuous at first. Men like her father with big dreams and a charming personality to sweep her off her feet and then change, dashing those dreams and breaking her heart before she could even see it coming. No, as far as choices were concerned Emily had not made a bad one. Sharon just was not convinced that she had made a very good one.

It was a difficult position that she found herself in. Emily was dating someone that she knew, and liked quite a lot. She wondered if her daughter were older, or her partner younger, would she have the same reservations? She supposed in the grand scheme of things that an almost eleven year age gap was not the worst thing that Emily could be facing at present, but it was concerning. At the same time she reminded herself that Emily was no longer a child, or even a young twenty-something. It wasn't as if Emily was new to the dating world, or entirely inexperienced, although as a mother those were not things that she wanted to be thinking about. The fact still remained. Her daughter was an adult now and her life was hers to experience and live as she saw fit. That included any mistakes that she might make along the way. She could offer her opinion on the matter, advise and try to guide, but her children did not have to listen to it.

Had she not had this very conversation with Rusty not so long ago? He was attracted to a young man much older than she thought appropriate. Those feelings had, thankfully, not been returned. She was relieved to see that situation end quickly although she had ached at his bruised feelings. Those two things were not entirely the same though, and Sharon had to acknowledge that. Rusty was barely a child, much younger than his sister. While he might have life experiences that no boy his age, or any age for that matter, should ever imagine, much less experience, he was not Emily. Her daughter had been living on her own on the other side of the continent for several years now, without her mother there to keep a watchful eye on her activities.

It was a terrifying thought, as a parent, that they could only teach their children how to live their lives. They could not guarantee how they would go about it. There was a sense of accomplishment there too, however, that her daughter felt confident enough in the person that she was becoming to spread her wings as she was.

The entire situation came down to a single, undeniable thought. Emily was not a child, even if she was still her child.

Sharon had only just resolved to try and accept that when the break room door open. She lifted her tea and turned, and found herself in that awkward moment that she had been dreading since that Sunday morning in her condo a couple of weeks before. He had managed, somehow, to avoid being alone with her. Sharon had to wonder that she hadn't assisted in that activity.

They stared at one another and she could see that he was tempted to step out of the room again. She sighed quietly and shook her head at him. There was a small, amused smile playing at her lips. "It will never work if you keep running away from me."

His eyes widened immediately. Buzz immediately began to protest, but he still had one hand on the door. "I'm not..." Her arched brow drew a sigh. "Okay, I am," he admitted reluctantly. It was an incredibly odd moment, and one that he tried very much to avoid, even before the relationship with Emily began to take off as it had. Buzz allowed the door to close behind him as he crossed the break room. He had come for coffee and very much felt the need for that now, and maybe even something a little stronger. "It must be safe if you're not armed," he quipped.

"Ha!" She laughed suddenly and shook her head at him. Sharon leaned back against the counter and kept her teacup cradled in her hands. "You have been spending too much time with Rusty if you need me to define safe for you." Sharon inclined her head at him again. Her eyes were sparkling and it took some of the bite out of her tone when she asked, "Am I going to have to ask you what you were thinking?"

He looked at the floor in front of him while slowly stirring his coffee. "That sometimes friendships evolve without much effort or realization until you are faced with the end product. Is that really something that I have to explain to you?"

Her lips pursed. He could be rather cheeky when properly motivated. "Touché." Sharon pushed away from the counter and walked over to take a seat at one of the tables. "It is not that I am opposed to you, but…"

"She's too young." That was the argument that he was expecting. It was the thought that he had struggled with most. "I know. We have talked about that at length. She refuses to be limited to an age group." Emily was rather opinionated and independent in her thought processes. He could point out that he knew where she had learned that, but didn't think it appropriate. "Honestly, until a few months ago, we were only friends."

She set the tea on the table and studied the contents of her cup while she thought about that. Sharon looked up at him after a moment and offered a delicate shrug. "Yes. I know how that can change. You don't have to point it out again. So what happened?"

"To be honest? It wasn't meant to change at all. It was a joke." Buzz rolled his eyes at her. "Our first date. It wasn't meant to be serious at all. It was just a joke."

Her brows drew together in a puzzled frown. "I'm not sure that I understand. Maybe you should explain that one."

It was hard to really describe without telling her how it began. Buzz shrugged as he leaned against the cabinet. "Well, as previously mentioned to the others, I used to subscribe to a few dating websites." He shifted uncomfortably as he spoke. "According to Emily, there was nothing obviously wrong with me, but I must be deficient in some way if I was still single. Or I was doing something wrong. She decided that she was going to figure out what and told me that I was going to take her out so that she could." He offered a lopsided, if sheepish grin. "I guess something just clicked."

"Clicked." That was Emily's choice of word too. "Hm." Sharon shook her head. After a moment she looked down. Her shoulders shook with laughter. "My god, she is my daughter." It was an incredibly familiar story.

His brows rose. "I don't understand?" He didn't usually find much in their personalities to compare. Emily seemed far more free spirited. Open. Emotional. She was very much an artist, where her mother was analytical.

Sharon rolled her eyes. "It's a long story." Not one that she could believe that she was about to tell. She leaned forward and rested her elbows against the table. "My first date with Jack was actually very similar. It was basically a dare. I never had any intention of going out with him." As she spoke, Sharon shook her head. "My roommate dated him, actually, very briefly. She had some critical things to say about a technique or two." When his head inclined, Sharon groaned. "Apparently he kissed like a fish." She pointed a finger at him. "You do not repeat this story to Emily. Or Rusty. Actually, forget I'm telling you at all. Needless to say, I did not believe her. He was a fairly popular guy. Good looking. I thought she was just… feeling discarded. I didn't know that she had broken up with him." Sharon rubbed her lips together. "So she dared me to go out with him, find out for myself. I wasn't going to do it, but somehow it all got back to him. His ego was bruised. We went out and… Something just clicked." She rolled her eyes again and gave a small shake of her head. "At least for a time. I was just a sophomore in college. We dated until I graduated, and then we got married. The rest is… in Martin Hollings's search engine," she finished dryly.

Buzz snorted quietly. "That is unfortunate." It was not a case that they would forget anytime soon. "Don't worry. I won't tell her." She didn't like to talk about her father much anyway. It was still a difficult topic for her. Emily was trying, but she was saddened and embarrassed by his behavior. "It was a surprise," he admitted. "I didn't think that I would like her at all. She is a bit of a… force."

"Oh, of that I am well aware." Sharon laughed. "Emily is… very much like her father. All of the good, but none of the bad. She is a dreamer." She looked down again and considered her next words carefully. "The thing about dreamers, though, is that they can sometimes get lost in the fantasy. I am not going to tell you what to do, and I am not going to forbid anything. That isn't the relationship that I want with any of my children. Just be mindful." Sharon stood up. She rounded the table and walked toward the door. "You are a realist. The realist and the dreamer seldom go well together. I know." She smiled sadly as she shrugged. "I married one, but you are not me and she is not her father. So I will wish you luck…" She pulled the door open but paused there for a moment. "And Buzz…" She looked back at him. "Do not ever keep something like this from me again. Okay?" She flashed a too bright smile before leaving him alone.

He collapsed back against the cabinet; the air that was in his lungs rushed out on a long sigh. That had gone better than he expected. At least, he thought, she hadn't shot him. One thing was certain. He would not tell Emily about this encounter. This one would remain strictly between him and her mother. He rolled his eyes heavenward and as Tao would say, "Holy Crap."

-TBC-