My Toes, My Knees, My Shoulders, My Head
Six
Shikamaru
My room was clean when I got home. Mom usually left it covered in a veil of dust so I had at least one chore to do upon returning from a mission. I inclined the sole of my foot into view, surprised they gathered not a single speck of dirt. In fact, the floor wax made moving around difficult.
Perhaps this was her agenda: to avenge her restless nights by attempting to make me slip and fall face-first on the ground.
As I was stuffing three, black turtlenecks in my bag, I did slip.
I lay on the floor without the slightest intention of getting up any time soon.
I knew the truth, and the truth hurt too much. Mom bothered with my room because she knew I would need a suitable place to rest in once I was released from the hospital. She wasn't mad at me, no; she was extremely perplexed if she wasted the floor wax on me.
I smirked, remembering how dad had to make her stop scolding me for playing with the floor wax once when I was eight. He would buy two more bottles, he assured her, to which she retorted by saying she didn't use liquid wax in the first place. Dad and I later discovered mom only bought the ones in those circular cans we always thought was cat food. And we were wondering what the cat food was for when we didn't own a cat.
After I finished packing, I would lie to her, and then I would apologize for having to lie.
We first saw each other again while I was searching for my shoes, and she kicked the front door open. For at least thirty seconds, we stared.
Mom dropped her six grocery bags.
I jumped to my feet and reached out to steady her, but she stretched her arm to stop me from coming nearer.
"I'm okay." She smiled, nodding to convince herself. "S-Shikamaru –"
"Hi, mom." I picked up the bags and returned her smile. "Let's put these in the pantry cabinet?"
She fell on her knees, laughing and crying at the same time.
It was my turn to drop the bags. I knelt in front of her and sighed. "You're scaring me, mom. I'm alive. I'm okay. How have you and dad been? Oh yeah, I already put the payment for the water bill on the kitchen table."
"I-I'm so happy!" She kissed my hands and put them on either sides of her face. "I didn't show Shikaku that I was worried because I knew how grave it had to be if the Hokage had to come here to assure me of your safety. You boys from the Nara clan are such bad liars! I'm glad you're home!"
I put my arms around her back and rested my weight on her. She didn't smell like Ino or Sakura; her scent was more like Kurenai's, only softer. She wore the fragrance of onions that broke me apart from the stench of anesthetic, and it was only now that I truly felt I was home. "Yeah…I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to worry you. Did you lose weight?"
"The water bill was long overdue, Shikamaru!" She slapped my arm and pouted at me.
"You weren't going to pay it on my behalf?"
"I was intending to visit you to check if you were awake! You needed to know!"
That was mom, I thought. I loved her.
I helped her arrange the canned goods on separate cabinets. She was too happy, I couldn't break it so quickly with my lies. Anyway, she wouldn't make me clean the house even if she saw through it…would she?
"Mom," I said, pulling a chair for her to sit on.
She blinked at me, and then sat down. "You're going to talk to me. I don't like you developing that look of your father's when he's about to tell me something I won't like, Shikamaru."
I winced inwardly and sat next to her. With a deep breath and a quick prayer, I said, "The Hokage's sending me on a mission-"
"Another one?" She stood. "Lady Tsunade-!"
"It doesn't involve violence!" I said, before she could march out and create a ruckus. "I only have to decipher some codes. It's part of my therapy, mom. They have to see if my-my mind's working one hundred percent fine! Yeah, and it's not far from here. I'll be in our forest, in grandpa's old house there, where he cared for our deer."
She resumed sitting. "Oh, I see. You should have told me sooner! I was getting ready to attack your father!"
"…You can't visit me, mom." I stopped upon seeing her expression. She was a little girl in so many ways, but this time I couldn't deem her that. Her face was at war between weeping and roaring, but in the end, it was composure that reigned.
"Will you explain to me what that therapy is for?"
I didn't delve into the details, because the details included a lot of needles and the Byakugan. She nodded over and over, pretending to understand, but the only thing that must be running in her head were questions as to why I had to heal so far from her.
"Besides, it will be a good chance for me to learn how to make those rubber bands," I said.
She traced the lines of my palm, quiet, cherishing my presence, and then she brushed my hair back with her fingers. "Who will you be with?"
"…Sakura Haruno. She'll be my medic."
"The pink-haired girl under the Hokage's tutelage?"
"Yeah, that girl."
"Is she kind to you?"
"Of course."
"She's very pretty." Mom pinched my ear. "Don't do anything stupid, son. You signed a contract with me that you won't get married or have babies until you're thirty. Do you need me to show you your signature to remind you?"
"Ouch! I won't do anything with her! That hurts!"
"I'll check your things to make sure you have everything you need." She got up and I grabbed her elbow to stop her.
"Mom, I need to go now. Trust me, okay?" I embraced her for the final time, kissed the crown of her head, and waved goodbye.
"I was only kidding! I love you, Shikamaru!"
"Love you too, mom." I closed the front door without looking back. Pinching my nose-bridge, I assured myself that was the best I could have done it. Mom was a strong woman, and dad would be there to make her happy.
Someone poked my forehead. "You finished? Let's go?"
I looked up and choked on my own saliva.
Sakura grimaced, hitting my back to sooth me. "If I were Sakura, I'd be offended."
"Ino," I coughed. "Sorry."
"Mind Transfer lasts longer than before now, but I can't stay as long as convenient." She took one of my bags and threw it over her shoulder. "Let's go?"
We travelled from roof to roof, deciding it was a safer route so as to avoid meeting Sakura's colleagues. A few turns to the west, and we jumped down to her balcony.
"Shouldn't we use the door, Ino? I mean, meet her mom and talk to her?"
Ino took out a hairpin from behind her ear and picked at the lock. "No need. Sakura always goes though her balcony to avoid her family whenever they get annoying. Here, it's open." She waved me inside. "They're used to her just appearing in her room. Don't worry!"
"She brings men through her balcony, too?"
Ino paused to consider. "Let's use the door."
Meeting Mrs. Haruno was the least pleasant thing I had to do yet. She hugged Ino upon seeing her, completely ignoring that she was with a man. Ino hugged her back and spoke in Sakura's words, narrating to the worried mother the lies we had weaved together in Lady Tsunade's office.
"This is Shikamaru Nara." She stepped aside to present me. "He'll be with me to decipher the codes."
Mrs. Haruno shook my hand. I didn't know why, but some sort of electric current ran through my arm upon that short, physical contact, and my windpipe narrowed. Was this guilt?
"I'll be making sure your daughter's safe," I mumbled.
Mrs. Haruno thanked me as she gathered her yellow hair in a ponytail, emphasizing how relieved she was to see none of us was seriously injured. Sakura was a klutz; it was not surprising that I looked as unhealthy as I did after going on a mission with her.
"And how come you took two weeks, Sakura?" she said. "Did you go scouting the borders for that rogue ninja again?"
"Rogue ninja? You mean Sasuke?"
"Stop acting like you don't do it at the end of every mission!" Mrs. Haruno turned to me. "Was she ever out of your sight, Shikamaru?"
"Not once, ma'am. We were together all throughout the mission."
Her eyed me with suspicion, but she conceded with a smile. "That's good, that's good. Welcome back home, my pretty little monster. I understand you have another mission, so I won't hold you back. Do leave your father a note. He's been having nightmares about you since you left. I told him there was nothing to worry about! You're a great kunoichi, plus you're with a Nara."
"Shikamaru?" Ino prodded me to step in. "Help me with my things? My arms are kind of painful, still."
"Do you want food, Shikamaru?" called the mother from the kitchen.
Ino originally intended to refuse, but I beat her to requesting tea. When she asked me why, I shrugged and ignored the weakness nibbling at my knees. There were no words to explain the difficulty of facing Mrs. Haruno while knowing deep in my gut it was my fault her daughter was hanging on to dear life.
This became no easier despite it being Ino's soul. After all, it was still Sakura's body standing in front of me. The physical was difficult to ignore.
We waited for the snacks in her room. Once it arrived, I made sure to thank Mrs. Haruno as sincerely as I could.
Ino only took a sip and went about throwing clothes into a red travel bag.
I shut myself from seeing her female necessities by picking up the wooden frame containing Team Seven's group picture. The glare Naruto and Sasuke shared was friendly then. Perhaps Naruto would never look at Sasuke the way an enemy did, and he would always see him as a friend, but I wasn't sure if he could manage to return their relationship back to what it used to be.
"Sakura made every effort to be cute for Sasuke." She took the frame from me.
I stepped back without her noticing. "Did he ever feel the same about her?"
"…Not exactly, but…" She placed the frame on the table, facing down. "He cared for her. I didn't mean to, but I saw the memory from when she tried to stop Sasuke from leaving. For him to have hindered her from coming with him could mean he knew the danger he was pursuing, and he didn't want anybody else to endure the pain for him."
"Was Sasuke mad at her for trying to talk him out of it?"
"He thanked her. I…I was always convinced he never thought much of her, but the way he thanked her before knocking her unconscious was the most sincere I've ever heard him."
"Did you know that Sakura was scouting for Sasuke at the end of every mission?"
"No. She knew I would have done something to stop her. I never expected her to be so reckless."
"Or so desperate to bring Sasuke back."
"Sakura's guilty. She told me it was partly her fault that he left. Maybe she's placing too much blame on herself."
I retrieved the frame and handed it to her. "Bring this. It would help Sakura."
The wind blew her hair to her face, but she did nothing to fix it as Ino normally would. "Did you bring our group picture?"
"Yes, I think so." I bent over my bag to check the pockets. "I remember grabbing it before I left my room."
She sat on the floor in front of me. "I don't want you forgetting Choji and I, okay? Especially not Asuma."
"I wasn't hit by the rebirth jutsu, Ino. I won't be forgetting anyone."
I slid my fingers into the side pocket to prove to her that I brought it, but she touched my hand, and I forgot everything else. I refused to look at her, because I would see another's face.
"We'll be here no matter what, Shikamaru," she whispered. "Sakura will go back to normal, and you'll treat us to barbeque like Asuma used to."
My eyes locked on our hands. This time, I thought of Sakura and her own significance to Konoha. The people who loved her, the people she loved, and the people she could heal. It wasn't fair, what happened. If anyone had to suffer the rebirth, I hoped hard it had been me instead.
The floor shuddered. The teacups beside us fell and broke as a silhouette of a man landed on the balcony.
I slid my bag away from the spilled tea, mouthing 'you're Sakura' to Ino as I stood.
"Naruto!" She glimpsed me, hesitant, and then ran to block the sliding door. "What are you doing here?"
"Sakura!" A grin erupted on his face. "You're out the hospital already? I thought –"
"I-I'm fine now, Naruto! What are you doing here?"
"Hey! Why is Shikamaru in your room?"
She gestured aimlessly. "He's helping me carry some things, that's all…H-hey! Stop looking at me like that!"
He leapt back from her.
"Naruto," I beckoned, but he was trapped in a stupor.
He pointed at Sakura. "Shikamaru, who is this?" He scowled, half-dubious, half-irate." Where is Sakura?"
I hit my head on the wall. This was the last thing we needed.
Tossing Naruto my bags, I injected myself between them and nudged Ino behind me. "Come with us, Naruto. Lady Tsunade has something important to tell you. Ino, are you ready?"
