Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter series and any of the characters. All credit goes to my hero, the wonderful J.K. Rowling! :D

Hpov

Sirius backed off over the next couple of weeks giving me some much needed space as I tried to work things out in my mind. Contact with him was almost negligible except for polite conversation in class. I had to admit it was a little weird not having him around. Of course this meant if he wasn't annoying me, he had extra time to chase after other girls, but even when he was ignoring me, he seemed to be constantly running through my head. It scared me how accurately he'd seemed to assess my personality. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right, which was not an easy thing for me to accept. He was a player, a boy who broke girls' hearts for his own amusement, and yet he'd broken me down and figured me out with what seemed like apparent ease. How had he done it?

As if I'd entered some strange sort of role reversal, I found I was the one wanting to know about him now. What made him tick? How had he gotten to know me so well when all I wanted was to push him away?

And then there was the fact that he'd known my real name all this time, and never once brought it up. Not to his friends, or my friends, not even to me. How had he known it was so important to me? And why did he care? I'd always thought he loved to annoy me. It amused him when I gave him a reaction, but if that were the case, this would have been his ultimate weapon. The moment he'd seen that file he'd essentially been handed a loaded gun. But he hadn't used it. He'd kept my secret, even from his best friends because he thought it was possible that it was something I cared about. People didn't do that out of amusement. Was it possible that Remus and Alice were right? Did Sirius really care?

The first game of the quidditch season had just ended, and now everyone was back in the common room celebrating. We'd crushed Slytherin 240 to 30.

Sirius had scored seven of our nine goals before James caught the snitch, and the whole house thought he was quite the hero. I watched as girls flocked around him all batting their eye lashes and tossing their hair hoping to attract his attention. As always he was the life of the party.

I looked away as Valerie snaked her arms around him and he pulled her into a very enthusiastic kiss. Wolf whistles and cheers erupted all over the room, and I rolled my eyes.

'Hero.' I thought bitterly. 'Yeah he's a regular knight in shining armor.'

"Look at what James gave me." Lily said brightly taking the seat opposite mine at the desk by the window. It had a spectacular view of the Hogwarts grounds but I'd been so preoccupied I hadn't spared it a glance.

She held up her hand and I saw her fingers were closed around a tiny golden ball with intricate wings that were flapping excitedly, as if it too were enjoying the party. "It's the snitch from the game."

"That's awesome." I said grinning trying to force myself to be interested. Lily and James had been spending a lot of time together recently, and it was obvious that over the past couple weeks she'd started to fancy him. They were nearly always together, making inside jokes and getting into cutesy arguments that served no real purpose other than to give them an excuse to push each other. When they weren't together he was all she seemed to talk about these days, but if I was honest myself I hadn't been paying much attention. I'd been so lost in my own thoughts recently, things I would normally pay attention too just didn't seem to reach me. I knew I wasn't being a very good friend, but for a while now I felt as if I'd been viewing my life from inside a glass box. While I could see everything around me, interaction was difficult. It was like I was stuck in my own little world from which I just couldn't break free.

"Are you alright Hallie?" she asked frowning. Apparently I hadn't been very convincing.

"Yes."

"Don't lie." She said rolling her eyes. "You've been acting weird lately, really quiet and withdrawn. The last time you did this it took us three weeks until you told us your dog died, what's got you upset?"

"I'm not upset." I said frowning wondering if that was really true.

"Then what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Please, you've got that off in Hallie's thought land expression you always get when you're thinking. What's up?"

"It's just," I hesitated. "What's my favorite color?"

"What?" she asked confused.

"Do you know my favorite color?"

"It's blue isn't it?" she asked and I didn't answer but glanced back at Sirius. "Why?"

"No reason." I mumbled to the desk. "It's stupid really."

"Hallie," she said warningly. "We can do this the easy way, or I can go get Alice."

I felt my eyes go wide as I was filled with a creeping sense of horror.

"You wouldn't."

Alice was relentless when she wanted an answer. If Lily told her she thought I was upset, I wouldn't have a moment's peace until Alice had combed through every detail of any and every emotion I'd ever felt.

"I would."

"Fine." I said bitterly and she looked satisfied.

"What's on your mind?"

I thought for a moment, choosing my words carefully before speaking.

"Do you think Sirius and I could ever be friends?"

"That's what's been bothering you?" she asked in shock.

"Do you?" I asked pressingly. I figured if I was going to do this I might as well get it over with, I didn't want it to be drawn out.

"Well that's hard to say." She said frowning she too glanced at Sirius who was still snogging with Valerie in view of the entire party. "You and Sirius are very different in some ways, but at the same time, you're a lot alike."

"How so?"

"Well for one thing your both stubborn." She said looking back at me. "In fact, I think you two might be the most stubborn people I know, and you're both too smart for your own good. Neither of you like to be left alone with your thoughts, you constantly need to be doing something, with you it's either school work or working in the hospital wing, with Sirius it's either getting into trouble with his friends or chasing after girls, either way you're always after a challenge and both of you are used to being able to get people to do whatever you want."

I tried to tell her she was wrong, that Sirius and I were nothing alike, but now she was on a roll. I felt as if I'd rolled a snowball down a mountain, and accidentally started an avalanche.

"You both have a tendency to disregard people. Anyone who hasn't managed to earn you friendship are sort unimportant and you push them away. He breaks hearts, you sort of just ignore everyone who isn't your friend."

"That's not true." I said frowning.

"Hallie, who was the last person you talked besides me and Alice or the boys?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "And people in the hospital wing don't count." She added quickly and I found I had no reply.

"You both have very strong personalities, and I think that's why he irritates you so much and he likes irritating you. It's a power struggle and neither of you will budge," she said looking a little amused. "The only differences is unlike you, he finds it interesting to finally meet someone who won't give him what he wants so easily. He wants to figure you out where as you see him as a distraction from what you want."

"Which is?"

"To get out of school and become a healer. That's what you've always wanted isn't it?"

"And why would he be a distraction from that?"

"Because he keeps trying to force a relationship between you two that I think you think would take away focus from your goal." She said knowingly. "He sees you as his favorite challenge, and he's your biggest distraction."

"So if everything is a power struggle, he wouldn't be capable of caring about me." I said more to myself than Lily. "If all I am is a challenge, all the stuff he says and does, it doesn't really matter because it's all part of his game."

"Maybe." She said shrugging. "But I think you're over simplifying what I said."

"Then what did you mean?" I asked a little annoyed she hadn't actually answered my question. "Could we be friends or not?"

"I guess it could go both ways." She said shrugging. "You could be really good friends for what you have in common, or hate each other because you're so similar. It depends on how you approach it. Is he someone you're willing to trust, or you have to compete with?"

I frowned. If this were a competition, it was pretty much over. By finding that file Sirius had won, and yet he hadn't said anything. He hadn't used it against me, or told me even to hold it over my head. For over a year he'd acted as if he hadn't known, but I didn't understand why. Maybe because he knew it would make me upset?

Was it possible he really cared?

"Thanks Lily." I said.

"Er… you're welcome." She said looking confused. "What for?"

"You've just opened up a world of possibility." I said, not looking at her but at Sirius, and standing.

"Alright then." She said uncertainly.

"I'll see you around Lily."

"Bye."

I walked over to Sirius, who had finally let go of Valerie, and was entertaining a large group of students with the story of how he'd tricked a group of Slytherins into locking themselves in the dungeons in our second year.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked him when he'd finished and everyone was laughing. The moment I'd spoken the laughter died, and while the party continued, everyone around us had fallen silent. I didn't look at them, as they started to whisper, but continued to look at Sirius. Clearly, he was confused as they were.

"Sure." He said shrugging.

"Alone." I said pointedly.

"Now?" he asked uncertainly glancing towards a few very pretty girls who were smiling at him.

I nodded.

"Can't it wait?"

"Not really."

He hesitated for the slightest of moments, then looked back at me.

"Fine." He said his expression unreadable. "Let's go."

He took my hand and led me through the crowd of people towards the portrait hole and we stepped through it ending up in the deserted hall.

"What's this about Hallie?" he asked letting go of my hand and looking down at me while crossing his arms over his chest. It was strange hearing him say my name, and I realized he hadn't since he'd told me he knew it wasn't my real one.

"I told you, I wanted to talk."

"So start talking." He said and I looked around. I really didn't want to talk about this here, in the open where anyone could have heard us.

"Can we go somewhere more private?"

"Let me get this straight Hal." He said raising an eyebrow. "You want me to leave an awesome party, full of adoring fans, just because you want to talk?"

"Yes." I said simply.

"You really don't think it can wait?"

"It's now or never."

"What are you like giving me an ultimatum or something?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm giving you a choice." I said shrugging. "And you can either come with me or go back to your little fan girls, it doesn't matter to me what you decide."

"You're still a bad liar." He said grinning. "It does matter to you, I can tell."

"No it' doesn't."

"This is a test." He said with interest.

"As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." he said rolling his eyes and there was a pause. "So what happens if I go with you?" he asked.

"We talk." I said simply.

"But what does that mean?" he asked.

"It means I want to be friends with you Sirius." I said with a sigh. "But there's a few things we need to discuss. Details we need straightened out."

"What kind of details?"

"I guess you'll have to come with me to find out."

"And if I don't? What happens if I go back in there?" he asked looking at me curiously something strange glinting in his eyes. It was a strange combination of calculation and excitement. The words 'power struggle,' drifted from the back of my mind. He was in his element now, and he wanted to know what he could get away with, just how far he could push me but I wasn't going to put up with it. I wasn't going to be second best.

"Then we don't talk." I said simply.

"And you'll continue to hate me?"

"The choice is yours Sirius," I said started to walk down the hall wondering if he would follow. "You'd better make it."

"You know you're being a bit dramatic Hallie." Sirius said but he didn't sound angry, in fact, he sounded amused. I smirked as he caught up to me. "Did you have to make me choose?"

"Was it that difficult of a choice?" I asked him.

"No." he admitted and I fought back a smile. "But if we're doing this, you're going to have to follow me."

He put his arm around my shoulder and for once I didn't push it off.

"And why is that?" I asked playfully feeling in better spirits then I had been in weeks.

"Because I know a perfect place where we can," he paused and allowed himself a sarcastic smile before finishing with an exaggerated inflection on the last word. "Talk."