I am adding on what I think happened to Jac. Don't shout at me if you don't like it.
Chapter 7
Taking a deep breath, I was trying to think where to start. "Growing up in the system you learn to activate your fight or flight response really quickly, you learn to keep your mouth shut and ignore certain things that happened. In the system that was normal. When I 12 I didn't really understand what was happening around me all of the bad things around me seemed to be heighted as I got older. I met this boy his name was Lucas, he was American and dangerous and everything I was looking for to forget all of the horrible things I had witnessed and he did make me forget, I was and angry kid Joseph...I got mixed up in drinking, drugs and god knows what else. "He was looking at me with concern, it wasn't pity so that was a relief.
"When I was 16 I got out, I ran off as far away as I possibly could, I stayed with some friends and got a job I worked constantly both in school where I was enrolled and at my job, so I could go to University, I went downhill from there. I was taught that you had to fight dirty in life, to get what you want, no matter who gets hurt in the process, it's programmed in me. I don't know any different. I know people are worse off than me, and I shouldn't even be complaining about my life at least I am here." He was digesting everything I had told him, he got up without saying a word and started fiddling with the dials on the cooker, I have scared him away. "Joseph say something please." He took a deep breath that I don't even think he knew he was holding.
"Why didn't you tell me any of this before? You are still not telling me something Jac. It cannot be that bad." The tone of his voice suggested that I did not have a choice.
"Joseph, don't do this...please." He can't Lucas and Katie, it's not a part of my life I want to get involved in again.
"What aren't you telling me Jac? You can talk to me Jac, please." He was looking at me from the edge of the room. "I need to tell you something Jac. My divorce came through a few weeks ago. And I have never felt better especially now that we are talking again." Fuck it, if he wanted out I could let him now before we went even further.
"I had a daughter." Cue shocked face. He was shocked. "Her name was Katie. There were complications in the pregnancy, she was early. Really early only 27 weeks, and she put up a strong fight but it was too much for her." I was fidgeting. "I haven't told anyone about Katie. It was too hard. I had this little girl in my arms and then she was gone, just like that." He looked at me the way he used to look at me, full of pride and admiration, I love him, I always have. I walked up to him grabbed him by the lapels and kissed him as if both his and my life depended on it. He resisted at first but it wasn't long until he was kissing me back. As he lifted me up I wrapped my legs around his waist, one of his hands was under my shirt the other was resting on the side of my face. I actually forgot how good of a kisser Joseph was, the arm under my shirt began pushing it up and over my head and somehow he had managed to expose me fully as my bra landed on the light above us, he looked at me in the dim light as the frenzy stopped I took my time unbuttoning his shirt as he was leaving a trail of kisses along my neck. Once he was fully naked I looked at him
"Are you sure you want to do this Joseph? Once we do there is no going back." He was stroking his hand on the side of my face.
"Jac I love you...I have never been surer about anything in my entire life." He loved me and spent the whole night and early morning proving it to me.
I woke up the next morning expecting a warm body beside me instead finding Joseph has gone. Oh god, what if he regrets it, getting out of bed I tripped on his shoes ok well he can't have gone very far without them, rounding the corner I see his shirt picking it up and putting it on. Is that coffee I smell and food. I did not get my lasagne last night, I decided to go into the bathroom and try to tame the mass of hair sitting wildly around my head and brushing my teeth. Relishing in the comfort of his smell coming from the shirt, I opted not to change, as I rounded the corner the sound of AC/DC blasting from my headphones , I saw the funniest thing I think I will ever witness in my entire life. There in my kitchen was Joseph cooking what smelled like pancakes and dancing like he was a rock star, it shocks me that he knows the words to Highway to Hell. Deciding to end his slaughter against one on my favourite songs pushed myself up on the bench and gave his ass a slight kick. He jumped nearly a mile in the air.
"SHIT! Jac you scared the life outta me!" a faint blush crept up on his cheeks, "how long were you standing there?" the blush went to an even deeper shade.
"Long enough to tease you mercilessly for the rest of your life." The glare I received was enough to tell myself to shut up. Looking at the clock I realised we had two hours before I needed to be in. "Are you working today?" he placed the pancakes down and nodded, right before kissing me ageing. It was like a domino effect it started us over again, right there on my kitchen table. "I am never going to get any food am I?" All mental thought went out the window as he pressed his lips against my neck, oh sweet Jesus.
After both deciding it was way too early in the relationship to show up together, although I could imagine what the rumour mill would come up with...as I noticed Josephs' car I pulled in a few spots away from him and repeating what I do every morning, inserting my earphones and opting against anything in particular deciding to shuffle the songs, Nickleback...Meh it will do. While I was walking a serious case of Déjà-Vu overcame me when I saw Joseph standing there with none other than his mother...SHIT! What the bloody hell is she doing here? She hated me, well to be fair I did sleep with her husband. Joseph must have seen the shacked and panicked look on my face as he gave me an apologetic smile. I decided to fain interest in my iPod. I saw a mess of blonde hair come flying towards me...no is that? Completely forgetting who was standing behind me I removed my earphones just as Rachel came flying into my legs.
"Rachel sweetie look at you...how on earth did you get so big the last time I saw you, you were a little shrimp now you've grew..." noticing the absence of her mother as I am guessing four year olds do not wander about the hospital by themselves "Rach where's mummy?" at that a small voice came from beside me. "Jackie" lifting up my eyes I saw her...my best friend, the girl who taught me how to French kiss and she alone knows all my secrets and vice versa. If she is here it can't be good, the only thing I can think of as to why she is here...oh shit her cancer.
Sorry it took me so long to update but it is here finally. Hope you like it. :)
