Chapter 7

She wandered through the cluster of trees, the night wind whispering through the branches. Leaves rustled in the dark. The sounds of the waves were getting closer. She pulled at the long sleeves of the navel blue cotton shirt she was wearing as she pattered her way down to the beach. Already a few days had passed and still she could not get used to her new bed. And much as she hated to admit it, she sorely missed the comforting presence of Sawyer right in the same house.

Her shoes made scuffing sounds as they hit sand instead of hard soil. Lifting her head, she noticed that someone had reached the beach before her. She paused in her footsteps.

He sat in rugged jeans and a T-shirt, the wind ruffling his hair as he ran his hand through the sand, letting it trickle slowly through his fingers. Waves gently rolled up on the shore, barely missing his feet before they returned back to the sea.

She took in a quiet breath, then, headed out to him.

"Can't sleep?"

He smiled, gazing out at the black water. "I'm lookin' for fish."

It was a reference to a sentence she'd said to him a long time ago, she remembered. There was something odd about the way he said it. She gazed at him curiously, unable to put her finger on what it was that made her strangely uncomfortable.

"The stars are pretty tonight," he went on to say.

Ignoring the clanging of warning bells in her head, she sat down beside him, pulling her knees up to her chest. Tilting her head back, she met handfuls of bright, twinkling stars sprinkled over the black sky. He was right. They were pretty. A slow smile spread across her face. "Look." Her voice a hushed whisper, she pointed upwards, recognizing constellations. "There's the Big Dipper. And the North Star."

"Can't see them."

"See there, James. See the Little Dipper?" She said with a lilt in her voice.

She was now literally glowing with excitement. He couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his lips. "I see a rabbit, Juliet."

She giggled softly. "You always see rabbits. You never spot the constellations, James. Every time we—" she broke off suddenly, her eyes widening as she realized what she had said.

She knew he heard her. No amount of backpedaling could help her now. She waited with bated breath as he stared at her, all mirth gone from his features.

He seemed to want to say something. His lips parted. His eyes were dark. Then he touched the side of her face, caressing her cheek. It seemed that an eternity passed before he whispered.

"You remember."

She tried to shake her head, but it would not obey.

"I knew you remembered."

A voice within her was screaming. Tell him he's wrong! Tell him now!

She tried. She really did, but her throat had tightened so much to the point that it was preventing her from speaking. Denying was not an option, not when his burning gaze was looking right through her pretense.

It came to her that this was it. There was no way of escaping the truth.

Juliet.

It was a plea, one that fueled the urge within her to do as he said. Yet, searching out the last of her resolve, she fought against it, refusing to let it conquer her. She couldn't give in. She'd gone too far, too deep to turn back.

She struggled to breathe, hands pushing deep into the smooth grains of sand. But she could not feel the bits embedding themselves in her skin. His lips were hovering over hers. She only felt the heat emanating from his body.

When he captured her mouth with his, she shuddered. A thrill like a current of electricity shot up her spine, travelling all the way to her head, dispersing whatever thought that was in process. Her head pounded with one name over and over as if the ability to form a coherent thought had vanished into thin air. His lips were a fiery sweetness that she could not get enough of. He deepened the kiss and the surroundings melted away. She was conscious of nothing more than the temptation to lose herself in him. She didn't want it to end.

Then she heard choking sobs. He was crying, his voice raw with anguish. "God, I need you, Juliet. I need you. I need you so much."

Could he ever know how much it hurt her to hear him in such pain?

Her tears spilled over, rolling down her face. I need you too, she wanted to say, but she was unable to speak the words out loud. She pressed her body against his, needing more, wanting more.

She cared no longer that they might be spotted, or that such a situation would endanger them. She was finally admitting that she had been in denial. She'd foolishly told herself that she could handle not seeing him again. As long as she knew he was living a life free from this island, she would be fine. Not happy, but fine.

Uncontrollable sobs began to wrack her body like never before. She clutched at his shirt, breaths coming in heavy gasps as tears poured from her eyes in hot streams.

It was nothing more than a big, fat lie. But she'd chosen to believe it rather than acknowledge the hard fact that her heart was telling her. That if he did leave, she would die. She would be in a world devoid of all emotion, emptied of hope, a piteous soul lost in the hellish darkness.

Was there a limit to her selflessness?

She was desperate to know. She was tired of giving. She was tired of never being able to have what she wanted. She was tired of being alone on this terrifying journey.

She finally had someone to love who loved her fiercely in return and she was letting him slip through her fingers because she thought it was best for him. But who was she to determine what was best for him? All this time she had been pushing him away, thinking it was the right thing to do, and it turned out that she'd only been doing him more harm than good.

At length, she became faintly aware that she was being rocked. He was holding her in his arms, stroking her hair, murmuring over and over that he loved her. She quieted, the gentle rhythm comforting her.

What would it be like to have even that taken away from her?

She thought about no more needing to wrestle with her feelings, no more inner conflicts, no more pretending. She thought about finally loving freely, without fear of the consequences.

And the decision was made.

This masquerade was over.

They needed no words. He took one look at her and broke into the most beautiful smile. His eyes shone as brightly as the stars above him.

Relief flooded her entire being. She felt as though a great load had been lifted off her shoulders. Through blurry vision, she whispered, "I love you."

"I know." His voice was hoarse from crying, but the pain that she had heard earlier was no longer. Tenderly, he cupped her face with both hands and wiped away the remnants of her tears. Then he smiled. "I love you too."


He didn't flaunt their relationship, but neither did he make a special effort to hide the fact that they were more than just friends. After all, there was already speculation about them being a couple, so why bother? That was his way of thinking and he wasn't about to change it. He wasn't afraid to let people know where he stood on this issue, but Juliet, on the other hand, was almost the exact opposite. She was cautious, even with Ben's missing presence, and so he made sure not to do anything that would upset her.

A week passed and he was more than ready to leave the wretched Hydra Island and its runway. Both of them returned to find an unusually moody Alex loitering in front of their house.

"Now this is strange," Juliet mused.

"What's strange? We've got a welcome party, sweetheart." He raised a hand in the air and yelled, "Nice to see you, Sheena!"

"Hi, Alex," Juliet added once they came within talking distance. She pushed the key into the door and let it swing open. "Wanna come in for a bit?"

The young brunette trudged into the house after them.

"Amelia not keeping you company today?"

She uttered a sound of disgust. "Not after I ruined her last batch of muffins. I'm so glad you guys are back. I've been bored outta my skull."

"Where's your other half," Sawyer teased. "You guys are always stickin' together like glue. Tell me he ain't the reason why you're lookin' all down in the dumps today."

"He has some stuff to do." Alex scowled. "Won't tell me what either. Idiotic secrecy."

"Sensin' some jealous vibes there, Sheena."

"Yeah, right."

"You're always welcome here if you need someone to talk to."

The young girl's face brightened at Juliet's words. "So I can stay here?"

"You can until Ben expects you back." Juliet gripped one of the duffel bags and disappeared into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Alex had plopped down onto the sofa and was propping her legs up on the table.

"Go right ahead. Make yourself at home," he remarked dryly.

"Can I ask something?"

"What?"

"Is it true that you guys are, you know…together?"

Gossip spreads faster than wildfire, they say. Only this ain't gossip. "And what makes you think so?"

"Doesn't take a genius to figure out. They've been talking, and Goodwin has, like, a permanent scowl on his face and he's always cursing 'the new guy on the island'. He's still mad that Ben allowed Juliet to go with you to the Hydra Island."

"Well, she's supposed to be my guide. I had to ask her to come along."

"Whatever. Nobody believes that."

He had a choice to either scoff in derision or groan in exasperation. He did neither. "I'm thinkin' too many people around here have nothin' to do but poke their noses into our love lives. They oughta move on to Ben and Harper."

Alex snickered. "You have got to be kidding."

"I bet Ben has his needs."

"You're gross."

"Just sayin' it like it is," he stated matter-of-factly and dodged as she tossed a couch pillow at him.

"Don't change the subject. Are you together with Juliet or not?"

"We're living together and that's all you need to know, Alex," came a muffled reply from somewhere within the house.

"She means drop it," he translated. "But that is all you need to know. Any more information and we'll have to kill you."

"You guys are the most interesting thing happening around here and I can't even talk about it," she griped. "This place stinks."

"I heard that!"

"I didn't mean the house, Juliet!" She rolled her eyes at Sawyer. "She gets like that sometimes. A bit sensitive. You have to forgive her."

He realized that at least it succeeded in getting the girl off the previous topic. Leaning back, he crossed his legs and relaxed sore muscles against the softness of the couch. That felt good. It was a welcome change from slogging his guts out under the hot sun at this time of the day. "So, what've you and ol' faithful been up to? Rompin' in the jungle?"

"No." Her tone was almost defiant then turned gloomy. "Ben called to talk to him a few days ago and now he rarely appears. And when he does, he doesn't have time for me. It's just stupid. He thinks doing whatever my dad asks him to do will make him a man or something."

"Give him a bit of time. I'm sure he'll come back to you."

"He'd better or I'll kill him," she muttered with a dark look.

When it became quiet, he slid down the couch until his head rested on the cushioned top. He let his eyes fall shut. It was definitely comfortable enough to lure him to sleep. He was so very tired…

"Sawyer?"

"Present," he mumbled. Was that the sandman calling?

"How's it like in the other world? Like outside the island? Is it exciting and never-ending fun and all that?"

"Uh…" Eyes closed, he tried to get his exhausted brain to function. "It's a crazy world out there, Lollipop. It's full of…everything…dark…peaceful…" He felt himself slipping away as his words began to jumble up.

"I wish I could go someday."

He wanted to let her know that she would. Maybe if he was lucky and Ben was cooperative, he could take both Juliet and Alex off the island. Of course, he would send Alex back. After all, Ben was her father. He couldn't just snatch her away like nobody's business.

But by the time he got his sentences right, he was beyond the point of no return, and he willingly let the soothing blackness envelope him.


The lump in his pocket moved and he placed his hand over it, as if to still the thing from fidgeting too much. He found it out there in the woods near the creek less than an hour ago, when he was heading back to the barracks. Seeing it brought back a memory that made him wince and with it perhaps a little pinch of regret. He didn't know what made him scoop it up and carry it into the van with him, but he did. In the passenger seat, Miles only stared at him with an expression that plainly said he was nuts.

Anyway, for the entire journey back, it had sat there, unblinking, while he'd thought of how she was going to react to his latest find. He'd highly doubted she was the kind of woman to freak out over a small issue, right? Maybe they could even keep it as a pet. His eyebrows had dipped then, as he remembered the insufferable noise it was capable of making. On second thought, maybe it wasn't such a great idea.

"James?"

He spun around, hand still hovering over his pocket. Juliet stood in the doorway, fresh from the bath, it seemed. She aimed a quizzical look at him as he tried to erase the guilt from his face.

"Hi," he said weakly.

"What're you doing out here?"

"Nothin'."

And at that exact timing, there came a croak that sounded terribly out of place in the conversation.

She cocked her head, flaxen hair tilting at one angle. When it happened again, she stepped out onto the porch, approaching him. He dipped his hand into his pocket, feeling the wet cold rubbery texture against his warm skin.

"I found somethin'. Today," he began haltingly.

"Okay."

"I was drivin' home when I picked it off the road." Or leaf, to be precise.

"Uh-huh." She folded her arms, looking at though she was swallowing back laughter.

"You won't get all screamy and girly when you see it, will you?"

"Depends on what it is I see."

"It ain't gonna harm anybody."

He could see that the more he talked, the more her amusement turned into wariness. He shouldn't drag this on any longer. Maybe he was just making a mountain out of a molehill. Who knows. She might be fond of it.

He wrapped his fingers gently over the creature and pulled it out. "It's a little tree frog. Was drivin' home when I saw…heard it croakin'."

The amphibian was motionless on his palm, save the movement of its gleaming skin when it breathed. He looked carefully at her. Her gaze was on the bright green frog with red eyes, her expression unreadable. Did she like it? Hate it? He couldn't tell. At least she wasn't screaming her head off like he knew some females would. She was calm. That was a good sign, wasn't it?

"A frog," she uttered.

Something prompted him to reveal the reason behind his actions. He cleared his throat. "I…squished a frog once. Here. On the island. A long time ago. I saw this guy and thought I'd bring him home."

She was listening, and she understood. He knew she understood. That was one of those things he loved about her. She didn't care to tell him how idiotic and immature it had been of him to have killed a defenseless frog, or how stupid it was to drive another one to their house like it would make up for what he had done in the past. She didn't tell him because she was well aware of what it meant to him. How much it meant.

Even if he didn't say it out loud.

"Do you want to keep it?"

He shook his head, his mouth curving into a little smile. "I just wanted to show it to you."


No one was willing to leave the comfort of each other to prepare dinner, though it was nearing eight at night. But soon he would have to leave. And it was not to get food. He needed to talk to Ben. It was imperative. He needed to let the man know they wanted off the island and whether he agreed or not, he was going to take her back to where she belonged.

He hadn't said anything about it to her yet, but he would have to, because tonight could not wait any longer. He had to find the right break in their conversation or whatever it was that they were doing to tell her and so far, it hadn't come. At the moment, he was attempting to braid her hair. He knew how the process went, but it was obvious that he was not proficient at it. He fumbled many times, the strands slipping out of his grasp. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he tried to recall the instructions she'd related to him before.

Cross right side over middle. Pull. Cross left side over middle. Tighten.

He tugged once. Then twice for good measure.

"Ow."

"Almost done," he muttered, maneuvering the locks of hair as skillfully as he could.

"If I may remind you, you said the same thing 15 minutes ago," she mumbled, stifling a yawn. "My legs are getting numb."

"I know how to do it. Just give me a bit of time."

He had to admit it was a rather messy braid that he'd accomplish once he was done. It looked nothing like what she usually did. She could do it twice as good with half the time given. But she leaned into him and told him she liked it. Well, okay, she did just say good try, but he swore she looked pleased.

She stretched out on the bed then with her head in his lap. He rubbed his thumb against the lobe of her ear and hummed his angel song. She listened to him, a dreamy smile spreading across her face. They talked about anything and everything. He told her how their companions were doing off the island. Jack. Kate. Hurley. Sun. But due to his depressed state at that time, he barely noticed what was going on, thus, his information was quite vague.

Then she asked if any of them had plans to go Portland. Perhaps they could do her a favor. He laughed and said they would go to Portland themselves, once they got off the island. They'd fly straight to see her sister and there, build a new life together. His days as a conman would be long over. He'd get a good job. They would start a family. Him and Juliet. Maybe have two kids. One boy and one girl. And they would be the sweetest angels, just like their mom.

"You make it sound so easy to go home together," she was saying.

Go home together. He liked the sound of that.

"I've got my ways, so don't you worry about that," he told her as he loosen the braid and ran his fingers through her abundance of golden tresses. This was a piece of heaven that he wished could go on forever. But he knew it wouldn't last until he got that obstacle looming over him out of the way. It had to be done tonight, and now was as good a time as any to tell her so. "Sweetheart," he said quietly. "I'm goin' out to talk to someone."

"Who?"

He let out his breath. "Ben."

She sat up almost immediately. Her face tightened. Her eyes clouded over, but he sensed, more than saw, the rapid change of mood.

"Hey, it's okay." He tried to reach out to her, but she wasn't having any of it. "I'm not going to do anything stupid. We're just going to talk. A civilized man-to-man—"

"Ben don't do civilized," she said in a voice tinged with tears.

His influence must be rubbing off her. "You're turnin' into a regular Southerner, woman," he said with a teasing edge to his voice but the joke fell flat when she didn't crack a smile. "Come here, sweetheart." He gathered her in his arms. "I promise you. Nothin's gonna happen. Look, all this time, nothin's happened. Nobody's stompin' up our doorway demandin' we break up. They haven't said anythin'. "

"Doesn't mean they don't notice," she muttered, blinking hard.

"Hey, trust me, okay? I know how to talk to him. We're gonna leave this place. We're gonna go home together. I won't leave you alone here." He grasped her shoulders and met her eyes, eyes that were terrified and filled with uncertainty. She's scared of losing him, he realized, and felt his heart tug. He brushed her cheek with his thumb. "Ten minutes. I'll be gone just ten minutes."

At last, with much persuasion and coaxing, she lay back in his arms, resigned. "Alright," she finally said. "Ten minutes." Her hand crept up to his chest and rested there, where his heart thumped in an even rhythm under her palm. Steadily. Reassuringly.

As it should be.