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...Alright, I made some minor changes to move things along faster, so here we go…

Recap: Andy is partway through giving her statement when she learns Sam is awake. In a bid to protect him, Andy incriminates herself, leaving Sam struggling to clear her name. Despite being forbidden from seeing each other, Andy sneaks back into the hospital to see him, but every time they try to have a serious conversation, someone (the nurse or Sarah) unknowingly interrupts them. Marlo ends up taking the fall for the Ford fiasco. Sam and Andy have another chat, in which Sam reveals quite a bit, but once again, Sarah interrupts. This time, Sarah invites Andy for coffee where she then provides some insight into Sam's childhood and how it has affected him. When Andy returns to the hospital, she tells Sam she loves him again, but that she needs time to figure things out… After meeting with Frank, Andy talks to the therapist in an attempt to get cleared for working on the streets, but she's told she needs to clear her head a little more first. This leads to Nick and Andy's chat, which ends with their breakup.

"Big day?" the drycleaner asked.

Andy's head snapped up from her phone. "Umm, something like that." She forced a small smile as she grabbed some cash from her wallet and handed it to him. As she left the drycleaner's, her eyes flicked to her watch. She was definitely going to be early for work, and as much as she didn't want to be in the barn and be reminded of what happened, she was too antsy to just be sitting around at home. She had to do something. Keep her mind occupied. As it was, the entire way to the station was spent unconsciously fiddling with the plastic that protected her freshly cleaned uniform.

When she finally reached the station, she hurried to the changeroom and changed into her uniform in record time. "You've got this," Andy muttered repeatedly, as she paced the length of the room at least five times before heading to the therapist's office.

"Come in," the therapist said. When she finally looked up and took in Andy's appearance, she added, "I see you're already in uniform."

"I'm ready to get back out there." Andy's voice was firm, unwavering, despite how nervous she felt.

"And did you think about what I said yesterday?"

Andy nodded. "I spoke with Nick… and we broke things off."

The therapist waited for Andy to continue.

"And I talked to Sam… sort of." Oops! That last part wasn't supposed to come out. She nervously ran her sweaty palms over her thighs. Maybe the therapist hadn't noticed. Breathe Andy, she scolded herself.

"Sort of?" The woman's eyebrows shot upward.

Andy withheld a groan. "Well, I umm... I told him I need some more time to figure things out. You know, clear my plate a little…" Technically it was true, she had said that, but that had been before their meeting yesterday.

"And?"

"Annnnnd he said he wasn't going anywhere," Andy replied, struggling to keep everything else to herself. The last thing she needed was to ramble and say something that the therapist could and probably would use against her.

"Do you believe him?"

Andy silently cursed. She hadn't quite anticipated another round of questions like this. Not today. She withheld a sigh. Did she believe Sam when he said it? She wanted to, she really did. "Uh… well…" Andy took a deep breath. "I think he wants to, I really do." She paused. "There was just something in his eyes and the way he's been talking lately that makes me think he's serious... like really serious this time, and not just saying it because... well, I don't know why... I mean, I don't think he'd say it if he didn't mean it... Except there was this one time that he said he wouldn't give up without a fight, and then he did." She silently cursed herself for letting her mouth run wild again. "But I think this time is different." She rushed out. "So yeah, I guess I believe him." She cursed herself again. I guess? Really? I'll be lucky if she doesn't pick that one apart.

"But…?"

And there it was, the need to define her worries. The reason she was so hesitant to move forward, to take that risk. Andy rubbed her face. "But we have a lot of issues. A messy track record. It's just complicated, you know? I mean, I love him, I really do, but I just need some time to make sure this is the right thing... for both of us... To make sure I'm not going to walk into this and end up reliving history because I don't want to go through that again, but I don't want to lose him either. I can't lose him."

The therapist merely nodded. "And what about Nick? How do you feel about where things stand with him?"

Andy hesitated. "I'm okay. Things are... okay..." She took a deep breath. "I mean, nothing is easy these days, but really, I'm okay…" She nodded, but she wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure the therapist or herself. "Okay, it's uh... it's like this." She kicked off her shoes and pulled her legs up onto the couch, crossing them. The way things were, it was different, you know? Nick and I were just taking things one day at a time, dealing with everything as it came." She paused. "There weren't really any expectations for our relationship. And, I don't think it was really even defined until Kevin Ford started attacking our division... until we kissed in the hallway before he headed out. And even then, it was almost like a silent agreement that maybe we were something. More than just… well…" She paused again. "Whatever we were. But I think that's why things with him were so easy." As her mind settled on Nick, she added, "And I miss him, I really do, but I understand. I get it. And as much as I care about him, being with him and having feelings for Sam just wasn't fair to him. So, I am okay, and I think it's going to take time, but I'm hoping that one day maybe we can go back to being friends. But if not, I get it."

"So as it currently stands, do you think working together will be an issue? Or will your history with Nick interfere with your work in any way?" the therapist asked as she jotted down a few notes.

"No," said Andy, although she wasn't too sure. "I mean, there always seems to be some sort of tension around here… But we deal with it. We put aside our differences, our opinions, and our feelings, and we do the job."

"So you just flip the switch?"

"Well, no," Andy admitted, frowning. "It isn't easy, but we do it because we're coppers and that's part of our job. We know our priorities and we're not going to let our differences get in the way of saving someone's life. I mean, I was engaged to a detective here. He cheated on me, and we still worked together, or at least closely, for quite some time until he eventually left. And, he still comes by to help out with a case every once in awhile, and yeah, it was hard at first, but we did our jobs. So, if I could deal with that back then, then I'm positive that I can deal with things now."

It was another twenty minutes before the therapist finally released Andy, by which time most of the officers were heading for parade. Since she was already in uniform, she headed straight there, taking a seat near the front. As some of the other officers filed into the room, she attempted to smile at a few of them, but her heart just wasn't in it. Worse still, was seeing Nick walk through the door. He glanced at her, but that was it. And that kind of hurt because even before they had gotten close she usually got a smile from him. Then again, she suspected he'd really been falling for her, so she really shouldn't be disappointed by his attitude toward her now. She felt a pang of guilt.

Frank's talk was short. Numbers were a little low, but not bad, and there weren't any major cases for the day. All in all, it sounded like a pretty slow day, unless the radio came to life. That's when the bombshell was dropped. She'd felt pretty confident that she'd said enough to be put back on the streets…

"McNally," Frank said as everyone left the room. "We're falling behind on paperwork and could really use your help closing up some of the cases."

Her eyes widened. "I wasn't cleared?"

Frank studied her for a long moment. "Technically, you could be released for patrol, but…" He paused. Honestly, he didn't want her back out on the streets quite yet. She still seemed to be dealing with a lot, and he felt it was best if she could work through things a little more. Admitting that wouldn't go over well though. "You're good at paperwork McNally. It's always neat, fast. And we have a lot of catching up to do. It will only take a few days and then I'll get you back out on patrol."

Andy reluctantly nodded. She didn't really have a choice. As she turned to go, Frank's voice stopped her.

"The hospital called this morning. They said Swarek will likely be released within a week. He won't be fit for light duty for awhile, but it's a good sign that they're releasing him this soon."

Andy nodded. She'd had no idea. Then again, she hadn't seen him this morning. She felt another pang of guilt. But she still needed time to think. And that's exactly what she did the entire time she worked on paperwork, and not just that day either, but everyday that week. She thought about how open Sam had been at the hospital; thought about if the meds were the reason he was so open, or if he finally realized he had to be in order for things to work. She thought about if she was ready to try again, to put her heart on the line, knowing that it could be broken all over again. She considered a lot of things.


Five days later…

"Hey pal," said Oliver, walking into Sam's room. He glanced around, frowning when he didn't see anyone else there.

"Sarah left this morning. She wanted to stay longer, but she couldn't take anymore time off work."

Oliver nodded. "So how are you feeling?"

"You know me," said Sam, a slight touch of bitterness in his tone.

"I heard they're letting you out of here tomorrow afternoon?" said Oliver. He'd picked up on his friend's mood, but hadn't decided whether or not to question it.

"Yeah," said Sam. He was trying to keep his tone and expression neutral, but every time he opened his mouth, the bitterness was there. It had been that way for at least the last three or four days.

"Hey buddy, cheer up. I've stopped by the barn a few times this week just to see how things are, and McNally's been busy... We're short-staffed, so Frank has most people working overtime. And you know she'd come if she could, but trust me, she's exhausted. They all are," said Oliver.

"Ollie, I didn't say anything about McNally."

"Sammy, I know you buddy," said Oliver, barely holding back a laugh. "You get that look when you're worried about her. Trust me though, she's fine, you're fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Sam shook his head. "It's not the same Ollie. I told her where I stood… I actually told her. And I know she overthinks everything and she needs time, but it's almost been a week since I saw her… She's made her decision."

Oliver frowned. "What do you mean?" He paused, eyes widening when it finally clicked. "You mean she chose Collins?"

"No, I meant the doormat," Sam said bitterly. "Of course I meant Collins, unless she's found someone else already…"

"You really need to talk to her Sammy."

Sam shot his friend a questioning look.

"That's all I'm saying buddy. Just talk to her again… She'll be back." Oliver headed back towards the door. "Oh, and for the record, nobody new has come barging into her life."

Sam sighed. He shouldn't be taking it out on his friend. "Hey Ollie?" he said, as his buddy started to step out of the room. "I never did ask last time… How are Celery and the girls?"

Oliver smiled. "Celery's great. Concerned, but great... She's worried about me starting back at work. And the girls are doing well – they're growing up too fast though. Izzy has another boyfriend. I haven't met him yet, but Zoe says he's okay."

Sam nodded, watching as his friend disappeared before leaning back up against the pillows. He was tired of sitting in bed, sleeping, and waiting to see who would come. If she would come. He just wanted to go back to work and do what he was good at. He wanted things to be normal, if such a thing existed.


Andy's second shift on patrol…

"Wow, second shift back on patrol and you're riding alone," Chris said.

"Perfect," Andy replied, and she meant it. Gail still wasn't talking to her, Nick hadn't said a word to her all week, and she wasn't in the mood to have a heart-to-heart with Chris. Had Dov been back at work instead of still waiting outside Chloe's hospital room, then she'd probably think the same about him too. She just wasn't in the mood to be riding with anyone, so an entire shift on her own sounded like a dream come true.

"I heard we might be getting some new rookies," Chris said, interrupting her thoughts. "Do you think it's true?"

Andy shrugged. "We're short-staffed at the moment… Marlo's gone. I think Oliver's back soon, but I don't know exactly when… who knows when Sam will be back, and Chloe…" She fell silent. If Chloe made it, it could be a long while before she returned to duty.

Chris nodded thoughtfully. "We could use the extra help."

"They'd have to be trained though," Andy argued. "Do you really think training a bunch of rookies would be wise when we're all exhausted from so much overtime? There would be screw-ups left and right, and that's kind of the last thing we need at the moment." The last thing I need at the moment, Andy silently added.

"But if we do get some, do you think we'll get to train them?" said Chris, unable to hide his excitement. "I know we aren't training officers or anything, but it's not like there are many options at the moment."

She shrugged again. "No clue, but honestly, it's one of the last things on my mind at the moment." Before Chris could say anything else, she gave him a small wave and headed for her squad car, sighing with relief as she got inside and was met with silence.


Her day started off relatively slowly. The majority of her shift consisted of two speeding tickets and one arrest for a drunk and disorderly man. It could have been slower, but the day just seemed to drag on. Still, it was better than suffering through an entire shift with someone who didn't want to be in the same room as her, no less the same car. With that in mind, she tried to enjoy the remainder of her day, but three hours before the end of her shift, things took a dramatic turn.

Her radio crackled. "We have a call reporting a domestic disturbance at 57 Sullivan Street."

"1504, I'm on my way," Andy said. She turned the sirens on before turning the car around and making her way down Dundas Street.

"Copy 1504," dispatch said, before adding, "The house belongs to a husband and wife. No children. There may be two other men inside with them." There was a slight pause. "The caller also claims the husband may be armed with a shotgun. I'll send backup your way."

"1504, co—" Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a car flying through the red light at the intersection of Dundas and University. With a car directly in front of her but a decent gap behind her, she slammed on her brakes, but it was too late. The oncoming car t-boned her, and despite her seatbelt, she was thrown around in her seat, her head hitting the side window hard before she felt her body being jerked around some more. The sound was deafening. The metal on metal. The screeching. Crunching. Shattering. She clamped her eyes shut, but even that did little to block out everything. She still saw flashes of light intertwined with memories. Her dad. Camping. Being cut loose. Traci. Nick. Dov. Chris. Chloe. Gail. Oliver. Sam. She tried to hold onto the image of Sam, but it flashed before her eyes once more before vanishing altogether. She struggled to open her eyes and see, to make sense of what was happening, but within seconds, darkness was washing over her until it consumed her completely.

The radio crackled. "1504, what's your status?"

No response.

"1504?" There was a brief pause. "1504, I repeat, what's your status?"

Silence.

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