I intended to post this last night but the FF site was down.

No beta. Sorry if there's errors. Please don't' hate me for it.


Wonderland Fallout

Reno's POV

"I'm going."

"Reno, you can't."

"I can, and I will."

"You mustn't."

"I'm going."

"Reno, please, be reasonable."

"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" I snapped.

I turned around to face the startled blond I had been arguing with. Rufus made a face of distress and pinched the bridge of his nose. We'd been at this for at least half an hour. I plopped down on the white sofa situated in the corner of his office. I had just been released from the hospital ward about two hours ago. After being in there for two weeks, I was more than happy to leave. Two weeks lying in a bed tested my sanity. The silence was maddening and the boredom…oh the boredom, though Rufus did come visit often.

Also, being kept up for two weeks only deepened my brooding. When I wasn't watching boring daytime TV, I was thinking of my missing leader. Every time I tried to "get some rest" as the doctor had said, I would still see him, his face burned in my mind. Hell, I even dreamed about him. All I ever thought about was him. Where was he? Was he safe? Was he…

I often shook the negative thoughts away. There was no way I was going to accept the notion that Tseng could be dead. No. He was alive…somewhere. Of course, I still had Rude to worry about. He had woken up a few days ago, but he was still in bad shape. He had suffered severe damage from the accident and a cure/heal spell couldn't be used on him just yet. It was common knowledge that cure spells dissipated the natural healing process, so to use a cure so soon on his extensive wounds would hinder his natural ability to heal itself.

A cure could be used in a week at most, but I hoped he felt better sooner. I wanted Rude to go with me, but if he couldn't right away, then I was sure he would rejoin me later. Which leads me to why I was in Rufus' office. I needed his formal approval of my leaving to search for Tseng. The first thing I did when I was released from the hospital was write up a mission request form. It was the first time I was actually willing to do written work. In short, I requested that the search for The Turk commander be extended and commenced by the Turks. I knew the President wouldn't comply, so I went to the Vice-President, who also had direction over the Turks. He could authorize this case, and then I could be on my way, looking for Tseng.

Unfortunately, he hadn't approved of my request yet. I thought it would be easy enough to appeal to him, since we were friends after all; but it wasn't working out that way. He kept refusing my case, though he wouldn't give me a reason why. But he didn't have to vocalize it in order for me to sense his distress. As a Turk, I was highly trained in the art of perception, so it didn't take me long to figure out that he was miserable.

Actually, it didn't take a trained Turk to see that. Any average Joe on the street could have picked up on the troubled blonds' distress. His eyes had dark circles around them, and his complexion was dull, almost a pale grey. He obviously hadn't been getting much sleep. I turned my attention to him once more, pleading with my eyes for him to sign my request.

"Come on, Rufus. I need you to do this for me." I said pleadingly. The blond sighed and reached for something underneath his desk. I was mildly surprised to see a bottle of Hennessey. I knew Rufus drunk a bit, but never at work. He must be in a worse condition than I thought. Two glasses were pulled out from a drawer. He placed them on his desk and poured a generous amount in both glasses. He gestured for me to take the other one. I gladly accepted the drink. Rufus downed his impressively in a matter of seconds. He released a relieved sigh.

I sipped languidly at mine. I didn't exactly wasn't to be drunk right now. A pleasant buzz was all I needed. I glanced at Rufus who seemed more relaxed than before. He stared at me with sleep deprived eyes. Poor guy. Unlike me, Rufus was expected to be controlled and professional at all times. So he had to act as if Tseng's absence had been a just a minor setback, like his father would have wanted. He couldn't show any sign of weakness, lest he be reprimanded for it. I on the other hand, expressed myself anyway I wanted to and I didn't care who was watching. If I was angry, I cussed like sailor. If I was glad, I would more than happy tell everyone why I was, regardless of if they wanted to hear it or not. And if I was sad, then I would cry. I didn't cry often but when I did, it was usually for something serious.

Verdot, my mentor and the Commander before Tseng, always told me that I was a very animated person. My emotions were always prevalent on my face. I was like an open book he said, though he never reprimanded me for it. Verdot, on the other hand, had been a very closed off individual, and I think he may have passed that trait off to Tseng. Not that Tseng wasn't sociable, he just never told anyone what was wrong with him or if he had a problem. Hell, I didn't even know about his past or anything.

But that was how Tseng was. He had set rules for himself and the Turks. Such as, Turks never cry, or Turks never let their emotions conflict with duty. I had broken just about every one of his so called rules. I always let my emotions get the best of me, especially when it came to my comrades. If one of them got hurt on the job, I'd be furious and my actions would usually be vengeful and rash. And just a few days ago I had cried in front of the President, with his son weeping in my arms, and I couldn't care less. Though I felt sorry for Rufus because I know he was chastised for it.

His father could be so heartless, not caring about his son's feelings and then having the nerve to actually replace Tseng without an extensive search. I knew he'd totally disregard my request, so it was pointless to even present it to him. However, Rufus seemed highly skeptical of giving me permission to go as well. I took another sip of my drink before addressing him again.

"Rufus, why won't you let me go?" I asked him edgily.

The blond sighed once more. "I can't sign this Reno."

I resisted the urge to go off on him. "Why can't you?" I hissed out, with semi-controlled anger.

Rufus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He poured himself another class and downed it. After his drink, the blond pushed my mission request to the side.

"I will not authorize this." He said sharply. I was on the verge of losing it. My fingers tapped ceaselessly on my leg, and outward sign of my frustration.

"Can you at least tell me why you won't?"

"I don't have to. You know why I cannot." He said evenly.

I snickered. "Oh I forgot. You're still scared of Daddy dearest."

He stood up at that. "I most certainly am not!" He shouted. I stood up as well and approached his desk. I leaned over until I was right in front of his face.

"Yes you are." I stated condescendingly.

"No I am not! It just wouldn't be in my best interest to go against him." He said matter-of-factly.

"In your best interest, eh?" I shook my head in disappointment. "You don't care about Tseng at all, you're just a selfish―."

I was cut off by an unexpected attempt to slap me in the face, but with my quick reflexes, I caught his arm before he landed the hit. He struggled in my tight grasp.

"Don't you dare say that I don't care about him!" He yelled.

"Then sign the damn paper so I can go look for him!" I snapped back.

"I can't!"

I was furious now, and could no longer hold back my anger. "Stop fucking saying that! You can, and you will!" I reflexively squeezed his arm tighter.

"Owe! Let go of my damn arm!" He winced.

"Sign the paper and let me go!" I said, ignoring his pleas for me to release his arm. I was beyond furious and it was taking every little control I had to not hit him and make him sign it. What the hell was his problem? Didn't he care about Tseng? Didn't he want to look for the man he practically idolized? Was he just gonna give up so easily?

I released his arm and backed away from him. I ran the palm of my hand over my face and tried to calm down. Rufus rubbed his sore arm and glared at me. My head was throbbing from getting so worked up. Although the stitches in my head had been removed, the headaches still remained. I turned to Rufus once again, calmer than before.

"Look Rufus, Regardless of if you sign the assignment or not, I'm still going." I said softly.

The blond jumped up at that. "No! You can't leave!" He said as he approached me from around his desk. "You can't!"

"I can do whatever I damn well please." I said evenly. Rufus grabbed my suit jacket and yanked me closer to his face. I was just about to pull away, when I saw the wild look in his sharp, blue eyes. Fear, apprehension, and doubt stormed in his eyes, though he tried to keep his emotions at bay, I could see his desperation. They way his hands shook around my jacket, his lips quivered frantically and his pupils were dilated. He was scared, he really was.

"Please…please don't go Reno." His voice quivered. His fingers tightened around my suit jacket. I didn't know what to say. I honestly didn't. I wasn't used to Rufus acting like this. He was normally sharp, arrogant, and proud. That Rufus I could handle, but this new, unstable Rufus, I didn't know what to do with. It almost seemed as if Tseng had taken Rufus' sanity along with him. I stared in confusion at the troubled blond.

"Rufus…" was all I could manage out. He loosened his grip on my jacket and down casted his eyes.

"Reno," he said softly. "Please don't go. Don't leave me."

The gears I my head began rotating. Rufus wrapped his arms around my waist and closed his eyes. It wasn't the first time he'd hugged me, but it was different this time. It almost seemed as if he was, clinging onto me. Holding me in place as if to ground me, to keep me from going. To keep me by his side. He tightened his hold on me and laid his head on my shoulder. Then the gears in my head clicked. I immediately wrapped my arms around him as realization struck me.

"Rufus, I'm going to come back."

He shook his head. "But what if you don't? What if you disappear too, just like Tseng?"

I sighed. I wasn't very good at consoling people, but I would try my best. I pulled Rufus off me and grabbed him by his shoulder, holding him firm. I stared right into his pristine blue eyes and gave him a promising gaze of my own.

"I will come back, and when I do, I'll have Tseng right next to me. I promise you." I said reassuringly. Rufus bit his lip and shook his head again in disbelief. He tried to pull away from me, but I held him firm.

"Rufus, look at me." I ordered sharply. He lifted his gaze up to meet mine. "I promise you, I promise you I will return. I will bring Tseng back to us, but you have to let me go."

He contemplated for a bit, and I could see the clockwork interchanging through his mind. He grabbed my hands and pulled them off his shoulders. I watched him in apprehension as he slowly returned to his desk and pulled out the file. He opened it up and signed the request form without hesitation. Once signed and sealed, he carried the document over and handed it to me. I was surprised by his actions, but nonetheless pleased. I reached out to take the signed paper, but he quickly whipped it away from me. I shot him a confused look.

"If I let you go, you must be sure to keep me informed on your progress, and you must try to be safe." He said sharply.

I nodded my head. "Sure thing, yo." I said reaching out for the paper once more, only to have it withdrawn again. I groaned.

"And, you must take a partner with you."

"I know, I know. Sheesh! I may be an idiot, but I'm not fucking brain dead." I reached out for the file, and again he withdrew it. I scowled in annoyance. This was getting fucking redundant.

"And you must keep your promise to me." I raised a confused red brow at him. He handed the file to me and I grabbed it, but Rufus held onto it as well, not letting it go just yet. He looked me dead in the eye with all seriousness.

"Bring him back." His voice was strong and forward. He seemed more put together than I had seen him in weeks.

"Promise."

He released the end of the file and left it in my hands.

...

After getting permission from Rufus, I headed back to the hospital ward to tell Rude. I walked into his assigned room unannounced. He was lying on the bed watching boring daytime TV. It was all you really could do when recovering. I approached his bed and pulled up a stool to sit on. His arm was still in a cast and his torso was bandaged as well. Rude had had it the worse out of the two of us.

"Eh, Rude." I said cheekily, trying to hold in my excitement. He nodded his head. His silent way of addressing me without speaking. I tossed the request form on his chest. With his good arm, he reached out and flipped the file open. He lifted it up to his face and I saw his brows rise in question over his shades, which he was ever so insistent about wearing, all the damn time! But I digress.

"How?" Came his simple one word question. I grinned cockily and winked at him.

"Cause I'm just that good."

I couldn't see it, but I imagined he rolled his eyes at me. He handed the file back. "So, I need you to hurry up and get better, bro." I added.

Rude didn't say anything, but that was to be expected. He wasn't much of a talker. I rotated my chair and turned to watch the show he was watching. It was some talk show with three rather obese women talking about their weight problems. Damn this show sucked. I grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels.

"You know, if ya want I could bring you some porn to watch instead of this shit." I said slyly, nudging him in his good arm. He shook his head and a small, but noticeable grin spread across his features.

"No thanks. I'm not really into gay porn." He said evenly, but with a definite amused undertone. I gave him an unimpressed look before pinching him in the arm.

"Fuck you then." I said, pretending to be insulted, although he was right.

We talked a bit after that, well I mostly talked and Rude pretended to be listening. I told him about what happened between Rufus and I, though I did leave a few things out. Like him clinging onto me for dear life. I wanted Rude to still have the image of cocky, confident Rufus, rather than broken and unstable Rufus. I talked mostly about nothing, but I kept going on anyway. If he wasn't going to tell me to stop, then I wasn't. Soon I couldn't think of anything else to say so I shut up. It was then that Rude spoke.

"How do you know he's still alive." He said straightforwardly. I glanced down at him. His expression was unreadable, due to the shades, but I could see the tightening of his lips, meaning he was concerned.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. I just sorta know he ain't dead."

"Then why hasn't he contacted Shin-Ra yet? It's not that hard to reach a phone now and days." He said. I scowled. I hated that Rude had to be so damn rational all the time.

"I don't know why. Maybe he's hurt and can't reach one. There could be a lot of reasons. I don't know." I said defensively.

Rude sighed. "I'm not saying I doubt you. And I'd still go look for the boss even if only to find his body, but still…"

"He is alive!" I snapped, cutting him off. "Why doesn't anyone believe me?" I added on a more somber note.

Rude didn't speak after that and we sat in silence once again. I flipped through the channels again trying to take my mind off Tseng and the other's doubts of him still being alive. He was alive, he just had to be. I glanced back at Rude, who appeared to be asleep, but I knew he wasn't. He was thinking. So I didn't bother him. But after an hour or so of silence, I was bored out of my mind. I stood up to stretch and a yawn slipped through my lips. Guess I was more tired than I thought I was.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing ya Rude. Try and get better, bro."

I made for the door and just as I was about to turn the handle, Rude spoke.

"I'm going with you, Reno."

I looked back at him in surprise. "So you think he's alive?"

"I don't know, but we can't rule out the possibility that he may still be alive."

A smile formed on my lips. "Thanks, Rude."

He nodded his head and waved a goodbye. I did the same and left, shutting the door quietly behind me. I released a sigh of relief. Finally, the wheels were in motion. I had gotten the permission I needed and now I had Rude's help. Recovering Tseng seemed to be a more of a tangible aspiration now, and more than just a goal I had while lying in the hospital bed. I smiled to myself and walked out of the Hospital ward. Next week, we'd be on our way to finding Tseng.


A/N: The whole cure/heal theory seems to be going around a lot lately, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.

Anyway, Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, please keep em' coming!