So this chapter took a bit longer to write than I expected. I ended up scrapping and rewriting several parts of it multiple times before I was satisfied with it. But here it is! I am also working or the revised versions of chapters 3 and 4 so stay tuned. As always, I appreciate the support, and feed back. If you like it, hate it, or anything don't be afraid to review it, or send me a message. Happy reading!

Chapter 5: Bottom of a Bottle

"JUDY!" I called, as I watched my partner walk away from me.

In that moment, all my fear came flooding back. It was happening all over again. The person I cared about, the one I depended on the most, was abandoning me. I felt little, weak, alone. I watched helpless as she disappeared back into the crowd, leaving me to my fate. The little voice in the back of my head snickering, "Failure." I wanted to run, I wanted to vanish. I wanted to pretend that this was all just a bad dream.

I sat there, the face of the little foal seared in my head, laying lifeless in Judy's arms barely clinging to life. "I wasn't fast enough. It was my fault. I did this." I was spiraling, the mixture of rage, pain, regret, and sadness distorting my reality. "I wanted to kill that zebra. No... I WAS going to kill that Zebra." I thought, my paws tightening into tight balls.

I barely noticed as Fangmeyer climbed into the car. I knew what was about to happen, and I didn't care. I was more or less being arrested. This was just the polite way. After all I was still one of their own. Fangmeyer started the car, and drove off.

The ride was tense to say the least. For my part, I just stared out the window. Despite just sitting there barely moving, I could feel the watchful gaze of officer Fangmeyer on the back of my head. I could tell he wanted to say something, but nothing ever came out. "Whatever." I thought. I had considered him a friend, but I guess he had forsaken me too.

As we pulled into the lot of the station, I looked at the reflection in the side mirror of the car. I was totally unrecognizable. I was cold, hard. As I looked into my eyes, I saw the fires of hell burning. "Ha ha ha..." the voice laughed coldly..

Fangmeyer got out of the car and came around to open my door. I climbed out without a word and proceeded to start into the building, my colleague following dutifully behind me. As I walked, I watched as every officer that I passes fell silent. Their eyes locked on me, but not meeting my stare. It was like a public execution. Everyone having already written me off. As if what was happening wasn't obvious enough already, when we walked through the front door, we were met by two more officers.

"Sorry Wilde." Fangmeyer said, looking at his feet, as the new pair of officers escorted me from the lobby.

We walked down a hallway to one of the empty interrogation rooms, the lead officer opened the door. I stood there looking at the empty room. I exhaled deeply and stepped into the barren room. No words were exchanged as the door was shut, locking me in.

I was alone.

POV (Judy)

Inside, I was a wreck, torn between doing my job and my partner. I kept replaying Nick calling out to me, pleading, his pain and betrayal evident in his voice as I walked away. I felt like I was in a fog. I wanted to scream, my heart feeling like it was being squeezed into pulp. I tried to focus on my task at hand with the scene, but that inevitably meant thinking about Nick.

"Its not fair! Things had been going so well! I thought I had a chance!." I said screaming in my head. I wanted to let it out, wanted to empty myself of the pain.

I looked around the scene, the paramedics were getting ready to leave with the foal, his drunken father already in a car headed to the station. Half a dozen officers were taking witness statements. I cringed at the thought of what they were saying about Nick. As I stood there, it seemed so surreal. I felt like I was out of my body, looking down at someone else. I watched as I moved over to the paramedics to check on the foal.

"Will he?" I heard myself say, not able to finish the sentence.

"Don't know. He is stable for now, but the rest is up to him. When we got here his core temperature was 107 degrees. He is a tough kid, but he was in there a long time. At best, its 50/50." The paramedic, a gazelle, said before looking up.

I vaguely nodded, only half registering what he was saying. I was about to turn when he looked at me.

"Off...ic...er..." I heard him call, it seemed so slow. I slowly turned, not sure what I was doing. The whole time I heard the gazelle speaking, but my ears didn't want to work. I tried to take a step forward, but found that my legs were made of lead. For some reason, I found it extremely hilarious. I tried to step forward again, only to succeed on collapsing to the ground. I lay there on the sizzling pavement, in the burning sun, staring up as people gathered around me. I tried to talk, tried to make sense of the murmur I was hearing, but to no avail. I saw concern on their faces and I became immediately worried. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with me. I tried to fight, needed to fight, but instead I faded into darkness.

POV (Paramedic)

"Officer? Are you Alright?!" I asked as I looked up at the bunny standing next to me. I watched as she seemed to waver on the spot. Her stare was blank and emotionless. It was like she was looking through me. From where I was I could see the insides of her ears. They were pale, almost white. I reached out and shook her arm, to get her attention. She didn't respond, her fur feeling clammy to the touch. "Shit! I need help over here now!"

I looked around trying to get the attention of the nearest officer. When I looked back the bunny had collapsed onto the pavement. I ran over along with several of the officers, desperate to help one of our own.

"What happened?" Asked a large rhino. His name plate read Mchorn.

"She is going into shock, that's what is happening!" I shouted.

"From this? Judy has seen worse." Mchorn said not understanding.

"No, not from the event. She is severely dehydrated and is showing all the signs of advanced heat stroke. She needs fluids and to get cool asap, and she needs medical attention or she is in serious trouble. We can't take her with the kid. One of you need to get her out of here. NOW!" I said forcefully, getting the point across.

"I'll do it." Mchorn said with no hesitation, standing up with the little bunny cradled in his arms. He hurried over to a waiting squad car and put her in the back seat before climbing behind the wheel.

I stood up and watched him leave. I looked around at all the gawkers. "This heat is too much, these mammals are all just waiting to drop." I thought.

"Officers! Get these civilians off the street. The heat is dangerous, GET THEM OUT OF HERE!"

POV (Nick)

I nervously paced around the interrogation room. I was caged, cornered. I needed to get out of here. I had been locked up for over an hour and no one had even come to see me. In the back of my mind I knew this was a common interrogation tactic, but I wasn't really interested in thinking rationally. My thoughts drifted to Judy. I wondered what she was doing. "Probably filling out her report about how you pulled your gun and threatened that zebra." I thought. "I thought you had my back, Carrots."

Suddenly, my ears perked up as I heard a key working in the lock of the door. For the briefest of moments, I thought maybe it was Judy and my heart skipped a few beats. However, it turned out to be Chief Bogo. His face was set and a folder was clutched in his arms. He just walked in and stood there. His massive frame foreboding and his stare intimidating as hell. He gave a sigh before speaking, "Sit."

POV (Bogo)

I watched Officer Wilde through the one way glass. He was nervous, that much was obvious. But in his situation I would be too. That wasn't what bothered me though. Something was off about him. It wasn't anything I could act on, but it was there. In the end it didn't matter after today he would have to be put on unpaid leave until this mess was cleared up. "Great... one of my best officers too." I thought.

"Um chief? The hospital called and left a message about the little foal for you." Clawhauser said, handing me a slip of paper. He took one look at Wilde, then slowly left. The whole precinct was in a funk over this, they were all expecting the worst. I knew the feeling. Even if the action the officer took was absolutely wrong, it was tough loosing someone you trusted to have your back.

I put on my reading glasses and read the message. It was the last bit of information I needed before talking to Wilde.

POV (Nick)

I took a seat as the massive cape buffalo walked to the table. He fixed his eyes on me, looking through me, examining my soul. He dropped a file onto the table before taking a seat. I readied myself for the hammer blow to come, but instead the Chief just leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and rubbed his eyes. The gesture was unexpected, almost friendly in a way. When he finished, he looked at me again, only this time he looked weary, exhausted. For the briefest of moments, he dropped his guard a bit, almost appearing to have feelings. I sat there in silence watching him for as long as I could.

"Sir, I..." I started to say when the silence finally broke me.

"WILDE! SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH NOW!" The massive buffalo exploded. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in? You discharged your weapon in public, you endangered your partner, pedestrians, and the foal you were trying to save, you ignored protocol, and acted without authorization. Then you assaulted and threatened to kill an unarmed mammal. And not just once I might add. Internal Affairs is going to have a field day with you. Every single decision you have ever made is going to be combed over. To make matters worse, you got Hopps mixed up in all this. Internal Affairs is going to be looking at her too! You better pray that your actions don't bring Hopps down with you."

For my part I sat motionless. However, there was only one part of the Chief's rant that I cared about. "Ok, two things." I thought, "But I'm not that worried about Judy's career." I stood up and walked away from the table... my eyes filling with tears. "The chief said "trying" to save," I thought. "That indicates he didn't make it, or he would have said saved." I was crushed, that poor foal, he was innocent, no actions of his dictated a fate such as that. I was a failure again. I spun around and faced the chief, tears dropping onto my uniform shirt. I had to know for sure, I needed the chief to say it plainly, to my face. "He... he didn't make it then sir?"

"Damn it Wilde! Are you not listening?" He said to me bewildered. "Your career, your freedom, everything may be at stake here."

"Sir, I don't give a fuck about my career or my freedom. I care about that little boy. That is the only thing that matters! If, I have to rot in prison for the rest of my life for my actions, but I was able to save him, then that is what I will do. Now please I need to hear you say it." I stated.

The Chief just stood and pulled a tape recorder out from his pocket. He hit stop and set it on the table. I cocked my head to the side confused at what was going on. Even more so when I noticed that the chief was smiling. "He's smiling! What the hell!" I thought.

"Wilde, please sit down." He said gently, watching me take my seat before continuing. "Firstly, your little bout of honesty was the last thing I needed to be able to help you. You did break a lot of rules today, but I think we can survive it, and salvage your career... mostly. I think we will be able to make a case that your actions were a result of the heat, adrenaline and stress of the case, you won't get out unscathed, but you will live."

"Sir, please. What about the foal?" I begged.

The Chief's smile got even bigger. He didn't say a word instead, he got up, handed me a piece of paper and moved to the door. He stood there as I read it. "Hospital called. Foal stable and expected full recovery. Being held 24hrs for observation. No doubt responding officers' quick thinking saved life." the note read. I looked up at the Chief and blinked a few times.

"Well done, officer. That child will be alive tomorrow, because of you and Hopps. Sometimes, we happen to be in the right place at the right time; other times, we have to use our wits. To do that, sometimes we have to bend the rules. Today, you were able to do both and because of that you succeeded. That is the hallmark of a great officer." The Chief said.

"Does this mean I am free to go?" I asked, not sure what else to say.

"Yes, but Wilde, understand this... You acted dangerously today, and as such there will be an investigation. It can't be helped and there will be consequences. For starters, you are suspended with half pay until the investigation is complete. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about that. Then, when you are back at work, you will be on desk duty for a month, during which time you will see the department counselor. Am I clear?" He stated, back to his usual gruff self.

"Yes, sir. May I talk to my partner now?" I asked, I wasn't going to argue the rest.

"She isn't back yet. Just go home and I will let her know that you were looking for her. I have to get some statements from her first, anyway." The chief replied.

I just nodded. I stood and walked out of the room. I was almost out of earshot when the chief shouted after me, "And Wilde, this goes without saying, but you are on the thinnest of ice. You better be on the best of behavior!"

POV (Mchorn)

"I'll do it." I said without hesitation. I bent over and picked up the little bunny careful not to hurt her. She was burning up, yet she felt cold to the touch. Her body was starting to shut down, in a last ditch effort to save itself from the onslaught of the heat. "Hang in there Hopps." I thought as I ran back to my car and threw open the back door and laid Judy down on the seat. I was about to close the door, when I noticed that her body armor was still on, suffocating her body. I quickly removed it before running around the car and getting in the drivers seat. I turned the ignition, and started the car, turning the air conditioner on full blast, trying to keep my fellow officer cool. I took one last look at the still rabbit before I threw the car into gear and peeled out. As I drove I began to issue calls to advise the proper channels of the situation. "Base, this is Adam-37, over." I said, calling Clawhauser.

"Adam-37, base, go ahead over." Clawhauser responded.

"Base, be advised en route to hospital. Officer Hopps is down." I informed them.

"Copy that, Adam-37, which hospital? Will call ahead to have doctors waiting." Clawhauser responded professionally, though I could tell he was worried.

"Palms. Apparent heat stroke." I finished.

"Got it, hospital will be notified. Base out." Clawhauser informed me.

POV (Nick)

I arrived back at my apartment exhausted. The day had been mentally as well as physically draining. I felt marginally better that I wasn't under arrest, but I was still concerned about the impending investigation. "What am I going to do all day while suspended?" I thought walking to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, and adjusted the water till it was barely luke warm. After all that time out in the heat, a cold shower was going to feel good. As the water ran, I went into my bedroom and began stripping out of my clothes. I hung my duty belt in the closet, and placed my keys, wallet and badge on the bedside table. Everything else, I unceremoniously dropped into a crumpled pile on the floor. "Ah man, I never got my white tee back," I thought, when I removed my uniform shirt. "Eh. It was worth it." After I was done undressing, I grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and headed back to the bathroom.

I climbed in the shower, and let the cold water cascade down my body. Everything ached. I knew it was from the stress of the day. I tried to massage my shoulders to remove some of the knots without much success. Defeated, I just stood there in the spray, my mind mostly blank. Eventually, I started getting cold, a sure sign it was time to get out. I turned off the water, grabbed my towel and stood there drying off. As I did, my mind wandered.

My mind drifted back to this morning, waking up next to Judy, fantasizing about her while taking a shower. Practically running her over as I walked out of the bathroom in just a towel. Judy transfixed on my penis and how she flirted with me after. Seeing her in her towel and then with nothing. Watching her get dressed. Seeing her in all her beauty.

I stood there mesmerized by the memory of her beauty. Everything about her seemed so perfect, too good to be real.

"Was that really this morning? It seems like a life time ago." I thought as I finished drying and went to hang up the towel.

I walked over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked rough, but the shower had definitely helped. I sat there a minute and examined my body, trying to see it through Judy's eyes. I won't deny I was proud of my body, after all, I worked hard for it. I wasn't a body builder by any means, but I was fit, lean, and strong and it showed. I smirked a bit as I remembered Judy ogling my naked torso earlier. "She sure seemed to enjoy my body," I said to myself as my mind traveled to the gutter for the briefest of moments.

Staring in the mirror, I imagined Judy stepping up behind me. Her bare boobs pressing against my back as she slowly reached around my waist squeezing me. We stood there looking at each other in the mirror, eyes locked, as she ran her paws over my chest and abs. Slowly a devilish smile crept onto her face as her paws stated moving lower. Just as she was about to reach the sheath of my fox-hood, I remembered how she looked at me this afternoon, shattering my fantasy.

I saw the look of terror on her face as I tackled the drunk zebra and put my gun to his head, rage burning in my voice and evident on my face. I remembered her pleading eyes as she was talking me down, a paw on her pistol, ready to draw on and possibly shoot me if I didn't comply. Then the look of disgust when I had. Her fear of me when she came to talk to me in the car. I watched as she walked away from me. "I have to call her."

I ran to my bedroom, and picked up my phone. Still nothing from Judy, but I knew she was probably still at the scene or back at the station doing paperwork. I dialed her number and waited.

Ring! RING! Ring! Ring! "Thank you for cal..." the voicemail said picking up. That wasn't unexpected since she was still at work. I tried again, and again got voicemail. I thought about texting, but that could take a while to get a response, so I decided to call the precinct and see if she was still there or in the field.

"Hello? It's Officer Wilde. By chance, do you know if Officer Hopps is there, or is she still out in the field?" I asked. "Uh, yeah, I'll hold."

POV (Judy)

"Doctor Browne please come to radiology. Doctor Browne to radiology." I heard a voice say.

I opened my eyes realizing I was in a hospital bed. "Why am I here?" I thought confused. I looked around the darkened room hoping to find an explanation. I found nothing, the room was a standard ward room, barren, a single lamp giving the only light.. I was about to sink back into the bed when I heard movement in the corner. I looked and saw a shadowy figure standing there, a figure I was sure wasn't there a minute ago. For an instant, fear gripped me. However, it soon subsided when the figure stepped into the pale light of the lamp. "Jesus, Nick you scared me." I said.

"Oh, I scared you?" He snickered, leering. "With your heart of stone, I figured you wouldn't feel anything."

"Nick, what are you talking about? What's wrong?" I asked, weary of the fox slowly moving towards me.

"Whats wrong? You're whats wrong!" He shouted. "You turned on me! You abandoned me! Left me to rot!"

"Nick, I didn't. I was trying to help you. You weren't acting like yourself. You were a danger!" I pleaded.

"Help me? They want to lock me up. I have lost everything and its all because of you!" He said, stalking towards me, his eyes crazy and teeth bared. "You betrayed me. But you were right about one thing, savagery is in our DNA as predators."

I was terrified now. Nick seemed possessed, that same hell-fire I saw in him on the street was blazing in his eyes now. "Hel...mmmmmmphhh!" I tried calling for help, but Nick muffled my cry, leaping to the bed, a paw held over my mouth. I was petrified, all I could focus on was his claws and teeth.

"Oh no, you are not getting out of this." He growled.

"mmmmm... mmmmm... mmm," I mumbled, trembling, trying to plead to him. Trying to get through to the fox that I thought I knew.

"Ah... is little miss hero scared?" He teased. I watched in horror as Nick leaned in closer to me. "Good. I'm going to make you pay for betraying me. I'm going to enjoy this."

With a snarl, I felt his hot breath on my neck. "Noooooooo!" I screamed silently, no sound escaping my mouth, as his teeth tore into the flesh of my neck. I felt the sensation of warm blood flowing down my neck, matting my fur. I tried to struggle but the fox was too strong and I was losing blood much too fast. Slowly my feeble attempts stopped entirely, my body giving up. As my world darkened and my eyes closed, I saw Nick's green eyes staring into mine. A look of primal satisfaction on his face.

POV (Nick)

I sat on the line waiting for Chief Bogo to take my call. I wasn't sure why he had to tell me where Judy was, but my mind was doing a good job of guessing the possibilities. "She probably asked for a new partner or a transfer. That is why Buffalo Butt is going to talk to me." I thought.

"Wilde?" The chief said getting on the line.

"Sir? What's going on?" I asked, initially met by silence.

"She is in the hospital, Wilde. She collapsed after they brought you in. Severe heat stroke and dehydration." Bogo said with a sigh.

"What?! Is she..." I started before Bogo cut me off.

"She will be fine. She has to stay in the hospital overnight then she can go home tomorrow. I am going to give her a couple days off as well." He said calming me down.

"Am I able to go see her?" I asked unsure, given the circumstances.

"I don't see why not, she is at the Palms." Chief Bogo said plainly. "Though it can only be during visiting hours since you are currently suspended and not family."

"I understand, Chief." I replied, hanging up the phone.

Without hesitation, I grabbed my keys and started heading to the hospital. It was going to be close. I was going to have to take the train since the hospital was across town, but if I hurried I should get there before visiting hours were over. "I have to get there before visiting hours are over if I am going to do what I planned." I said to myself as I began to run.

"

By the time I made it to the station, I was about ready to fall over from the heat. Despite it being almost 5 o'clock, the heat hadn't dissipated any. After I bought my ticket, I went and took a long drink from the water fountain. Mentally going over what I was going to do. "She will be alone in the room, with nowhere to run off to. It will be the perfect place."

Just as I finished drinking, the train pulled up. "Perfect." I climbed aboard the train and quickly made my way to a seat. I gave a slight sigh of relief as the train began moving. It took about an hour, but I train finally made it to the station just down the street from the hospital.

I pushed my way through the crowd, and began running down the street. Luckily the distance was only a few blocks, so I was able to make it into the cool, welcoming lobby of the Hospital in no time. After catching my breath, I checked my watch. "1805," I read. "Good, I made it." I glanced around the lobby until I found the nurses station and made my way to it.

"Hi, Officer Wilde to see Judy Hopps." I said politely to the receptionist.

"She is on the fifth floor officer. Room 514. And visiting hours end in about fifty minutes." She replied brightly.

"Thank you so much." I said with a smile as I headed to the elevators.

I made it to the floor, and quickly went down the hall to her room. When I arrived, the door was shut. I gave a light knock but didn't receive an answer. I glanced around the hall, opened the door and quietly slipped in. When I stepped in, it took me a moment to get adjusted to the darkness, the only light coming from a small lamp next to the bed.

As I stood there, I began to see the layout of the room. A small attached bathroom, a couple of chairs for guests, a small table by the standard hospital bed and a sleepy Judy. I sat there staring at her for a minute before I slowly began making my way over. I had only taken a few steps, when a young female antelope walked in the door behind me.

"OH! You scared me, I didn't know she had any visitors." the nurse whispered in surprise when she saw me.

"I, uh, only just got here. I was hoping I could just talk to her." I said.

"Well, she was giving a sedative to rest while we got her fluid levels back up so she probably wont wake up." She began.

"That's ok, I'm here partner, I just wanted to be here." I tried.

"Well aren't you sweet." She said as she smiled at me. "Ok, for a little bit. But you have to leave when visitation ends."

I just nodded. "If she only knew."

I moved over to the corner by the table and sat down in one of the chairs. I watched as the nurse went about her business checking charts and bags of fluids, making little notes. After a minute or two she gave me another smile and left.

I looked at Judy, laying there, sleeping so peacefully. I took a deep breath, and stood up. It was time. I gently began calling Judy's name to wake her.

POV (Judy)

I opened my eyes realizing I was in a hospital bed. "Why am I here?" I thought confused. I looked around the darkened room hoping to find an explanation. I found nothing, the room was a standard ward room, barren, a single lamp giving the only light.. I was about to sink back into the bed when I heard movement in the corner. I looked and saw a shadowy figure standing there. "Wait! I have seen this before, that means... oh no!" Fear coursed through my body. Without hesitation, I turned and tried to scream for help. "Nurse! Helmmmphh!"

"Jesus, Carrots!. What is all the shouting about?" Nick asked bewildered, his paw firmly across my mouth.

I couldn't answer. I sat there trembling my eyes wide in terror. Nick's eyes softened, going wide as he pressed his ears back against his head when he saw my expression. He removed his paw from my mouth and took a step away from the bed. I watched him wearily, heart racing and my breathing raged.

"It's ok Hopps, calm down I didn't mean to scare you." He said looking distraught.

My mind was in a fog... I wasn't sure what was real, where I was, or how I came to be here. The only thing I knew for certain was at that moment, Nick Wilde terrified the living shit out of me and I wasn't taking any chances. "Wh... What are you doing here?" I stammered.

"Well for starters, I am your damn partner, and I wanted to talk to you about some things." Nick said stepping a bit closer.

Instinctively, I pulled the sheet around me up closer, cowering behind it as I spoke, "Don't come closer!"

"Hopps, come on, its me." Nick said softly, looking hurt. "Are, are you scared of me? Is it because of what happened earlier? I can explain that."

I didn't give him an answer. I just sat there and watched him, this... this predator. I couldn't see my friend there, just a violent, malicious creature.

"I see." He said his shoulders hunching and head hanging.

"I... I think you should go." I squeaked out.

Nick just nodded and slowly started moving towards the door. As he passed the bed, he stopped reaching out and touching my knee about to speak. He never got the chance.

"DON'T TOUCH ME, PREDATOR!" I screamed recoiling from him.

Nick looked up at me as the nurse burst through the door. His eyes held so much pain, tears clouding the brilliant green, silently asking if that is what he was to me. I could almost hear his heart shattering. Without a word he turned on his heels and practically ran from the room.

"Nick... I..." I said meekly as his tail disappeared around the corner, the nurse looking at me concerned.

"Are you alright Officer Hopps?" She asked. "Did he hurt you? Do I need to call someone?"

"N...no, I'm fine." I replied. "I hurt him."

"Ok, well you have had a very busy day today. If you want to be able to check out tomorrow, then you will need to get your rest ok?" The nurse told me in a motherly voice. I just nodded and lay back down. "Why was I afraid of Nick? What have I done?"

POV(Nick)

I left the hospital in a miserable state, that had not gone nearly the way I had hoped. I kept seeing that look of terror on Judy's face, the way she recoiled from my touch, every time it was like a knife was being stabbed into my gut and twisted.

I wasn't in any hurry to get home, so I started blindly wandering the streets. The heat was still oppressive, but I didn't notice. Eventually, I made my way to a whole in the wall bar, and walked in. The place was quiet, almost empty. "Good." I though. I pulled up a seat at the bar and did the only thing that I could think of... drink. I ordered a double of whiskey and downed it, hoping the mind numbing effects would begin quickly. As the evening wore on, I continued ordering doubles until I was completely oblivious to everything around me. The only thing that mattered was more whiskey. Finally, I even stopped caring about that.

"Hey bub..." The bartender called to me. It was all I could do to lift my head high enough to look at him. "You have had enough for one night. Ok? Want me to call you a cab?"

I didn't reply. I simply grabbed my wallet, threw a couple of hundreds on the counter and stumbled out the door. My world was coming apart around me... again. This was a path that I was all too familiar with. Defeated, and with nothing else to really do, I began the process of stumbling off home.

By the time I made it back to my place, it was well after midnight. As I walked through the living room, I passed the mirror on my wall. The same mirror that delighted in mocking me; delighted in reminding me of how much of a failure I was. I looked at it briefly, as all my rage boiled to the surface.

"RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, as I put my fist through the silver glass. I watched in slow motion as the mirror shattered and the shards fell to the floor. I casually looked at my lacerated knuckles as the blood began to flow freely. No pain registered. I was dead inside. I let the blood drip from my paw a bit before I walked into the kitchen.

I went straight to the cupboard about the refrigerator, and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. Unscrewing the cap, I took a swig before heading back to the couch. I sat down alone, holding company with just myself, the bourbon and the voice in my head. "Why is this happening?" I thought.

"Because... Judy can see you for what you truly are. You tried for so long to hide from me, but you can't hide a monster for ever." The voice sneered.

"No... I am not a monster. I haven't done anything wrong. I help people." I said aloud, weakly.

"Not a monster? So you don't have blood on your paws?" the voice asked rhetorically.

"That blood wasn't my fault! I had no choice!" I yelled back.

"Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?" the voice said triumphantly.

"No one else would make the decision! They put it all on me. That is not what I ever wanted, but someone had to. I HAD to. I did what I thought was right! I pay for it everyday! The burden is so heavy!" I raged.

"I can lift that burden." the voice told me consolingly.

"Please... lift the... burden." I mumbled as I passed out.