LbN: Lots of hugs and cookies to all who have left such sweet reviews. Also, credit for the previous chapter goes to Chelseyb1010. That was her comedic genius shining through. She writes fantastic stories, so you should all go check out her profile! Hope you enjoy the chapter!


The group of house-elves was the coolest bunch Harry had ever met, once he got past the whole "hero worship" thing. Millie, Vanillie, Tillie, Willie, and Clyde set about making lunch as Harry and the rest vacated to one of the (seven) lounges on the first floor.

Harry paced back and forth, thinking. "Okay," he said. "First things first. Hermione, I need your eidetic memory. Have you ever heard of a family owning a dragon? I thought they were untrainable."

"No, I haven't heard of it. And they're supposed to be untrainable, but I've never heard of this breed before. Ron may have—Charlie talks to him about dragons all the time."

"We'll get him over here later. Actually, let's bring everyone over. The safe house is getting a bit cramped." He paused, getting a faraway look on his face.

"Prongslet?" Remus asked. "Are you alright?"

"Oh no," Hermione said. "He's either having a vision of Voldemort, or getting one of his colossally bad ideas that I'll have to talk him out of."

"Er…Clyde?" Harry called. The elf appeared at his side a couple seconds later. "How many rooms does this place have?"

"196, Master Harry."

"Thank you, Clyde. Hermione, what if…what if we had school here?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Not for everyone," Harry explained. "Just the DA. Hogwarts isn't preparing us for what's out there—and don't say it was just Umbridge. It's not. What if we had school here? Or at least Defense lessons."

"And how exactly are we going to just waltz out of school once every other day for Defense lessons, Harry?" she asked.

"Hell if I know. Tonks," he said, changing subjects at the speed of sound. "You and Moody said you'd be training me this summer?"

"Probably talking about different types of training," Remus muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, prongslet…."

"Moody's…on call, so to speak. We can start as soon as you're ready," Tonks said, giving Remus a Look.

"Tomorrow then. ARGH!" He crumpled to his knees a blinding pain shot through his scar.

"It seems the Potter boy has found another place to hide. Another place that is so well warded, it is beyond my sight. Tell me, how can there be so many holes for him to hide in? Ah, Bellatrix…it seems your delicious niece is with him."

"Shut up and stop perving on Tonks, you snake-faced nutter!" Harry bellowed.

"Potter! Can you hear me?"

"Yes! It works both ways, idiot!"

"Blast! Bellatrix, put your clothes on!"

"THE ACTUAL FUCK? I can't see what's going on—thank Merlin."

"Harry, block him out," Tonks said gently. "Think of something you know would gross him out, and use it to push him out of your mind."

"Like that time Ron, Seamus and I got drunk off Firewhiskey and danced to Prince songs in banana hammocks?" Harry suggested through gritted teeth. He heard a high pitched scream in his mind and grinned. The pain subsiding, he looked up to see the other three looking quite pale. "It didn't actually happen, but it got the bastard out."

"On that note," Remus said, "I think lunch is ready."

"Wait… Voldemort was perving on me?" Tonks yelped, a few minutes too late.

"Lunch, Tonks…."


By 9 o'clock that evening, everyone was settled in. Fred, George, Ginny and Ron had all come over from the safe house. George managed to find a room that had a slide connecting it to the room below, and quickly claimed it for himself and Fred. Ginny was helping Hermione and Ron look up information on dragons. Hermione had been banished to the library earlier after getting into S.P.E.W. rhetoric with one of the elves.

"But Harry is a wonderful wizard! I'm sure he'd pay you if—"

"House-elves is not paid, Miss," Clyde said, affronted. "Does Miss accept payment for being Master Harry's companion? For helping him in his missions?"

"Er…no…."

"Then neither shall we. If Miss will excuse Clyde, he has a soufflé in the oven."

Remus and Tonks sat with Harry at the bar (fully stocked with Muggle and wizard alcohol) and talked over Harry's most pressing questions. All had drinks, but Remus insisted Harry drink a Butterbeer, rather than the Hobgoblin Piss Vodka. Every once in a while, the ground rumbled as Eire landed or shuffled along the loch outside.

"I can't see my parents sitting back and taking orders from Dumbledore just for the hell of it," he said. "Giving up their house…not unless there was a damn good reason. Sirius didn't want to. You guys aren't. How'd he get them to leave? And why didn't anyone know about this place?"

"Maybe he told them this place was compromised?" Tonks suggested.

"This place? I doubt they would've believed that," Remus said.

"Fuck it," Harry stated, downing his Butterbeer. "I'll just ask him."

"You're going to…ask…Dumbledore?" Tonks asked.

"Yep. I'll just draw my own conclusions from the gray areas of what he tells me. Anyway…we should probably turn in. Training tomorrow and all that."

"I can tuck you in, if you want," Tonks said, winking.

"Oi, if you two horny bastards are shagging, I get to watch!" Ginny called from the across the hall.

"Fuck watching, you're participating," Tonks corrected.

"IS THERE SOMETHING YOU NEED TO TELL US, TONKS?" the twins bellowed from the Weasley Mischief Apartments (they'd insisted on naming the rooms).

"No one is shagging!" Remus said. "Harry needs his rest. We all do. Moody's going to expect everyone to train, not just Harry. Let's all get some sleep."

Harry stood, grinning. "Goodnight, then," he said.


Voldemort was glaring at him, but Harry refused to look away.

"Potter."

"Voldy."

"I will not be addressed in such a way!" Voldemort hissed. "I am the Dark Lord—"

"Is there a reason you're invading my dreams? And does Bellatrix have her clothes on? Because this time I can see you."

"Lestrange is not here!

"How long have you been tapping that? Explains why she went clown shit insane."

"I…we…that's none of your business, Potter! I did not invade your mind to answer your inane questions! Now, listen—"

"Never pegged you as a modern Art Deco fan. Always figured you'd be like a low class version of the Malfoys, all Gothic and shit."

"I am higher class than Lucius could ever dream to be! And watch your filthy language, half breed!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!"

"POTTER!"

"By Poseidon's earthquake inducing schlong! Is that a teddy bear?" Harry squeaked. "Is he…is he dressed like Darth Vader?"

"SHUT UP, POTTER!"

"He is! This is priceless!"

"Darth Teddy was a gift, damn you! I have nocturnal emotional insecurity, so I kept him!"

"YOU SLEEP WITH IT?"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"You summoned me, dickhead!"

"I WILL KILL YOU, POTTER! I will torture everyone you love! You will die alone! You—"

"This has been lovely, but I'm going to wake up now."


Harry sat up, sweat covering his body. Moonlight was streaming in on him. He tried to get his breathing under control as he wrapped his mind around what happened.

"Damn. Nice body, Harry."

"Tonks!" he said, jumping.

"Calm down. I just want to cuddle. This time…. What's up with you? Bad dream."

"You're never going to believe this…."