07 Downward From Here
"Get inside and shut your mouth!" Genesis demands as he pushes Tseng to the floor and slams the door behind him, and Tseng merely snickers as he pushes himself up and brushes his hair from his face.
All the way back to the cabin, Tseng fought with Genesis and managed to break away more times than I could keep up with. He bit, he hit, and he kicked. He basically did anything and everything that he could while simultaneously needling under Genesis' skin with remarks of a past that stings.
"You're worse than a rabid dog!" Genesis hisses as he lunges forward when Tseng attempts to stand. Then he drags him into the bedroom with an unrelenting grip on Tseng's upper arm that causes him to unwillingly wince. All the while, Tseng continues to struggle in a futile attempt to defy him and Genesis' temper brews at the surface while he continues to hang onto the Turk as he digs through a dresser drawer and pulls out an old dress-shirt.
Then he practically throws Tseng onto the floor at the foot of the bed with a force that elicits another grunt from Tseng and he cruelly glares at him while he quickly twists the shirt into the form of a rope and Tseng hisses out, "For someone who feels that way, you sure as hell go through a lot of trouble to keep me as your pet."
"Protect you," Genesis disturbingly clarifies before he quickly pulls out his sword and stabs it into the side of Tseng's shirt to pin him to the wooden floor, taking him off guard and just grazing his ribs with the blade. Then he bears down on the handle with his weight to ensure that the sword is solidly lodged into the floor and he steps over him to grab his wrists while he explains through his teeth that, "Because like a dog, you have no sensibility."
With a twisted sneer, Genesis forces Tseng's wrists to the bars at the foot of the bed in another struggle and commences to tie them with the shirt and adds, "However, dogs can be trained."
"You're tying that too tight," Tseng angrily retorts through his teeth as he squirms against the blade and his shirt starts to turn red.
"Look at what you're doing to yourself!" Genesis replies as he gestures to the sword that Tseng is rubbing against in his struggles. Then he cruelly snickers and grabs Tseng's hair to hold his head still while he leans close enough for his breath to be felt on Tseng's lips and soothingly taunts that, "Silly me…" as his eyes wander over Tseng's blank stare in study, "I almost forgot that you're as blind as a bat."
At that, Tseng spits in his face and Genesis quickly stands while wiping at it and pulling his sword from the floor with an unnatural grace before he walks to the door with a conniving grin.
"Fear not, fair pet," he musically soothes as he steps out of the room, "I shall return,"
"I'm not your pet," Tseng bitterly corrects as he sets his attention on trying to loosen the shirt when the main door to the cabin closes and Genesis' disappearing footsteps are heard outside.
Almost an hour passes and Tseng has finally given up after seemingly tightening the knots rather than loosening them, and when Genesis returns, a pile of metal scraps and gear is dropped to the floor near his feet with a loud clang.
"I'm surprised you're still here," Genesis sarcastically snickers out as he toys with a vial of potion in his pocket while he stares down at Tseng's stained shirt and silently notes that the bleeding has stopped. Then he serenely smiles at him and softly sings out that, "I brought you a gift…" and Tseng simply snorts as if he couldn't care less, "Do you want to know what it is?"
"No," Tseng mutters as he turns his raw wrists in another futile attempt to find comfort and Genesis merely sneers back at him as he turns his attention to the pile of metal at his feet.
"Very well," he breathes out as he kneels down and separates a chain from a collar, padlocks, and bolts. Then he places a metal plate with holes at the corners against the floor and thoughtfully muses over its position, "I suppose surprises can be fun."
When Tseng snorts again, Genesis smiles as he seems to have found a spot he feels will do and commences to make conversation while fastening the plate to the floor with thick bolts, "I heard you talking while I was outside," he says, and Tseng merely sneers as he rests his head back as if he were staring at the ceiling.
"You do that a lot when you think no one's around," Genesis adds, "Talking to Sephiroth… Or should I say…'Seph'." Then he sighs and studies the end of the chain while Tseng remains to appear uninterested in what he's doing or saying, "I often wondered if Vincent knew that you talked to him, or even that you pause long enough for him to answer as if you're having a conversation with him."
"He's dead, Genesis," Tseng finally mutters, unable to hide the irritation before he lowers his voice to an inaudible tone and quietly mutters that, "They both are."
"Of course he is," Genesis agrees while ignoring the last part as he slides one end of the chain through a thick groove in the plate and secures it with one of the padlocks, "But that doesn't change the fact that you still feel for him, even though he's the one responsible for what you are and despite what he's done to you."
Then with a cold snicker while he holds up an old metal collar attached to the other end of the chain and another padlock, he turns his attention to Tseng and adds, "In fact, one could even say that he is also the one responsible for what happened to your wife and daughter as well."
"You're unbelievable," Tseng lightly muses as Genesis tilts his head, "Do you honestly think that any of that matters anymore?"
"Perhaps not," Genesis muses while narrowing his eyes as he watches Tseng snicker as if it bothers him while he shuffles closer with the collar in his hand.
"Just because I made a few remarks about your insecurities, you feel that you have to dig up the fact that I was a fool to a man that destroyed everything that mattered to me and then tried to murder me…? Leviathan, why stop there?" Tseng openly wonders as he starts to softly laugh, "When there's so much more you could touch on?"
"Because you're still his fool," Genesis reminds him through his teeth as he holds the collar up to Tseng's neck and opens it.
"I see…" Tseng flatly replies before he clicks his teeth and holds them together for a second, causing his jaw to subtly tighten, "I understand how difficult it must be to live in his shadow… Always wanting what he has and receiving nothing but sloppy seconds.
"Yet, you're too late… as always," Tseng continues as he feels the metal against his neck and sneers while turning to Genesis' direction and whispers that, "There is nothing left for you to take away." Then out of nowhere, Tseng suddenly bellows out as Genesis closes the collar and slides the padlock through that, "I'VE ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING!"
Part of me wishes it wasn't true—that he still had something, but I'm well aware of the fact that neither of them lies when they're under each other's skin. They don't need to. I'm also well-aware of the damage I was responsible for, long before I knew I was doing it.
However, it was never my intention, not then…
"What do you think you're doing?" Genesis urgently asked as he followed me through the old tunnels of the mako caves below the refinery, "The medics are the other way!"
"I know where the medics are," I disturbingly answered as I carried the man and held him close as if I were clinging onto his life-force and grimacing when he would occasionally stir and cough up something that resembled slime.
His skin was as pale as death and he was cold and clammy to the touch, and every now and then, he would vaguely regain enough consciousness to whine about the agony he was in and I would shush him while muttering into his ear that, "You're going to be fine… I've got you now."
Damned idiot… I thought as I made it to the town and quickly walked to the mansion that was growing larger in my sight as if it was the only focus I had.
Part of me didn't want to admit it, but a part of me already knew that there was nothing the medics could have done for Tseng, and as Genesis continued to follow, he finally broke down and asked, "Why are you taking him here?"
"Last I heard," I said as I pushed open the Iron Gate with the pressure of my back and adjusted Tseng in my arms, "Hojo was in town working on something here."
"Hojo?" Genesis bewilderingly asked as he took a step back as if he suddenly wanted nothing to do with what I was planning on, "But Hojo's…"
"I know what Hojo is," I told him as I adjusted Tseng in my arms again to emphasise the fact that he was our only hope, "And he's the only man I trust right now."
Little did I know, and as I carried Tseng into that forsaken mansion and into the underground passages beneath it, all I could think about was that I didn't want to live if anything happened to him. In my mind we were destined to be together, and I gave no thought to repercussions or the fact that I knew what I was doing was wrong. In fact, I didn't even give any thought to the fact that there was no way a man in Tseng's condition could possibly survive.
He had a day, at best, and I should have known that.
I suppose in a way, denial wasn't a flaw that only Tseng suffered from. Only, to give him credit, I think he always knew what it was that he was denying.
Me, I'm not so sure if I was aware of it as I found my way to the lab beneath the mansion and pounded on the heavy wooden door until someone finally answered it.
"Whoever it is, tell them to go away!" Hojo yelled from somewhere within as a heavy set colleague of his opened the door and stroked his short beard while speechlessly staring down at the Turk in my arms and I made it painfully obvious that I wasn't about to do as Hojo demanded.
"Hollander!" Hojo yelled again before he quietly complained that no one ever listened to him as his footsteps grew louder when he made his way to the door, "How hard can it be to simply tell them to—Oh…"
"I need your help," I stated as Hojo adjusted his glasses and stared at Tseng like I was holding the plague, and I nearly choked on the fact of my words when I added that, "He's not breathing."
In a way, I half-expected him to simply tell me to 'Dispose of that filthy thing.'
After all, it was a Turk, and to Hojo, they were a dime a dozen and, 'Expendable to a fault…'
He said nothing of the sort though. Instead, he pushed Hollander aside as if his earlier demand was no longer important and anxiously asked, "What happened to him?" before he tried to snatch the man from my unrelenting grip and demanded, "Let go of him, Sephiroth!" Then he nearly kicked me as he used his foot for leverage against my leg in hopes that it would aid him, "He needs attention and he needs it now!"
If I wasn't so focussed on Tseng at the time, I might have realised that Hojo stating that someone needed attention was out of character for him. Even his urgency to get Tseng inside was out of sorts. Yet none of it occurred to me, and when Hojo finally resigned to the fact that I wasn't about to let the man go, he urgently motioned me in and led me to his lab and I followed.
"Place him on that table," he commanded as he walked over to a counter and grabbed a small light, "If you can manage that," and when he quickly walked back to the table and I stepped back, he asked, "What happened to him?"
"He was in the refinery," I said. All the while, I kept my head down and my hand on the table as if I was afraid to leave Tseng's side.
"I thought there was an explosion at the refinery," Hojo mindlessly stated before he suddenly stopped dead and simply stared at Tseng like he completely forgot what it was he was planning on doing.
For what seemed like far too long, he stared at the man with an expression I was unfamiliar with while holding a handful of instruments in a grip that appeared hesitant. His eyes appeared wider than normal and his jaw was tensing as if he was trying to chew on something that he couldn't swallow.
All the while, unreadable thoughts churned behind those rat-like eyes of his in a way that almost resembled panic before he suddenly bellowed in a shrill voice that almost pierced my ears to, "GET OUT!
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" he repeated as he pushed me back and started behaving like a madman. His hands flailed about and I half-suspected that he would have hit me if I didn't step back with each demand.
He took me off guard and I mostly obeyed because he was the only man who took the time to care for me when I was growing up, and to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure how to react to the way he was suddenly behaving.
In all the years I'd known him, he'd never reacted in such a threatening or erratic manner. He was always belittling, but he would generally do it with a sarcastic snicker while bathing in the glory of his own self-worthiness.
This, however, was different.
He behaved as if he was distraught over something I couldn't begin to understand, and by the time he got me to the door without me realising it, he mysteriously calmed down and wiped at the sweat above his upper lip while holding the door with his other hand in a grip that turned his knuckles white.
"I need time to think," he muttered, looking at the floor and shaking his head as if he were overwhelmed. Then he ground his teeth and stared down the dank hall like he was contemplating something—some kind of answer that laid in the darkness of unfinished tunnels before he looked at me like I was the cause for all of his problems and demanded, "Where was he when you found him?"
"In the lower levels," I informed, and then he gripped the door tighter and looked like he was about to be sick while clenching his jaw again.
"The Mako levels are lethal down there, last time I heard… Exactly, where was he when you found him? How far down?" he snapped at me.
"I don't know," I answered, "Genesis was bringing him up when I met up with them."
"And you never asked?" he shrieked. Then before I had the chance to defend myself, he suddenly spat out, "What good are you?" and then the door was slammed in my face so that he and Hollander could bicker about something I couldn't make out behind it.
At the time, I didn't know what it was that I'd done wrong. All I knew was that the life of a man that meant everything to me was in peril and that somehow, it had become my fault and I was the enemy.
Genesis was angry with me, Hojo was angry with me, and I had no idea why everyone was suddenly turning on me. In my eyes, I'd done nothing wrong.
Well, there wasn't much else I could do, and as I stood in the hall-like tunnels of the lower basement of the mansion, I tried to make sense out of everything while Hojo's and Hollander's bickering disappeared farther away from the door and I studied the stale dirt at my feet. It all happened so fast that most of it seemed like a blur.
I began to second-guess myself, and I turned my attention to the solid planked door that Hojo had shut me out with and I stared at it with a strange feeling of regret.
Was I supposed to leave?
Then with a heavy sigh, I turned my attention down the path from which I came and curiously regarded a section that was sealed off by crumbling bricks and gave it no more thought than the fact that it was oddly out of place.
From there, I went back outside with a dead feeling inside and decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to simply do my job. Tseng was in Hojo's hands. He'd be fine. Out of all the people I knew and trusted, Hojo was the most capable and dependable…
Days seemed like weeks as I impatiently waited and periodically demanded to see Tseng only to be denied. Hojo's irritated responses were dismissive and accusatory and I never questioned it. Instead, I'd reluctantly walk away from his door to return to the other soldiers I travelled with and worked towards completing my mission.
Always, I was distracted by it. My focus was split between what I was doing and what I was thinking, and despite the toll it took on my mind, I found it only made me work harder, more focussed on the task at hand and more determined to complete it so that I could return to his side.
I didn't want to face the possibility of what I might do if he died, and I couldn't tear myself away from the reality of how it made me feel before the inevitable finally took place.
Hojo sent Tseng back to Midgar and didn't bother to inform me when he did it. When I confronted him, he became curious about the undivided attention I was giving to the Turk and suddenly wanted to know what this strange interest was that I had in him.
"He's just a Turk," he explained as I followed him down the halls and he carried a notepad and took notes as if he was only half paying attention to me, "Nowhere near as exceptional as the soldiers in 1st."
Then he stopped dead in his tracks and spun around while suspiciously asking, "Why in the name of the Ancients would you exhibit such concerns for a mere… commoner?"
"Commoner?"
"Yes," Hojo answered, and then he started writing in his notepad again as he went on. "He's just a simple vagrant from the streets of Wutai that even Shinra doesn't fully trust. He's not even fully Wutian and of questionable origin… The only reason he's been entrusted as much as he has is because the President's son has managed to throw enough tantrums in his favour."
"For such a 'common' lack of interest, you seem to know an awful lot about him," I suspiciously responded, suddenly more curious about the time and energy Hojo invested in him and knowing full-well that it was more information than Hojo would pay mind to if he truly wasn't as interested in the man as he was pretending to be.
"I had to look up his records in order to treat him!" he shrieked at me, suddenly tense and taking me off my guard again, "And none of that explains why you think I owe you an explanation!"
"He's my responsibility," I coldly answered before he started laughing like I told him a joke.
"Ah, yes… The belittling job of a 1st class soldier," he mused, barely able to contain himself over how humiliating it must have been for me while he shook his head and bewilderingly wiped at his brow, "To babysit a Turk… hahaha-hehe-hew."
Then he suddenly turned serious and walked with a quickened pace towards his lab as I followed with more determination than I initially had before he stopped under the door frame and spun around to tell me that, "You have no need to worry anymore. He's in Shinra's hands now… No longer your responsibility."
After that, he started laughing again and slammed the door in my face before locking it, making it clear that he was done with the conversation and leaving me to stand on the other side of the door with more questions than what I initially had.
There were so many things I wanted to say and ask, but I knew better than to voice them. So I simply stood there and stared at the door while pondering the relationship I shared with Hojo. It was one of love and hate, and trust and suspicion, and I knew better than to expect anything more before I let out a heavy sigh and turned to regard the path from which I came.
It was the same as it was before with one minor change. The section of brick I noted when I first brought Tseng to him was torn down and left in a pile of rubble as if it had been torn down in a hurry, and an old wooden door that was fastened with iron stood in its wake.
Curious, I thought as I slowly walked up to it and lightly kicked the rubble with the toe of my boot while noting a set of tracks like something had been wheeled in and out from it. Why would someone seal off a door?
Then I shrugged after testing the door—only to find it was locked—and glared at Hojo's door one last time before I decided that there was nothing left to do or say. Besides, I had more important things to do that day, like returning to the refinery to inform the soldiers under my command that Shinra was sending in a Specialist Crew to clean up the mess and get the refinery back up and running.
Not to mention that it also meant that I could return to Midgar, and that was where Tseng had been sent.
The trip back to Midgar was long. The fact that I had to remain in Nibelheim for another week didn't help. My solemn mood kept the other soldiers away from me and I more or less welcomed the silence as I stewed over the fact that I'd heard no word on Tseng's condition since he'd left.
What made matters worse was that I was more than certain that his wife was by his side, knowing more than me about the state of his health, and that this strange and unfamiliar feeling was growing stronger the closer I approached.
Suddenly, 'unfair' held a whole new meaning for me and I grew more restless the closer I got to Midgar. On top of that, the first place I'd have to go would be to the briefing room to listen to everything I already knew about the situation instead of finding out something about the only thing I didn't know anything about.
"He's fine!" Hojo told me before I left, and I was unable to fully believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.
By the time I finally made it to Tseng's side, I believe I may have lost touch with a little bit of my sanity. It was almost like I wasn't always fully in control of my own actions as a part of me that struck me as disturbingly dark appeared to be guiding my actions.
It must have happened when I finally concluded, once and for all, that Tseng would have been happier if he left his wife and gave into what he truly was—mine. In my eyes, he owed it to me for some strange reason, and on a brighter note, part of me felt that he needed me to take care of him.
However, he seemed well when I finally stepped into his room in a way that seemed meek. He was still slightly green and somewhat frail in appearance, and I began to second-guess myself as I walked to the side of his bed and looked down at him with a mixture of anger and relief.
"What were you thinking?" I asked him, half-wanting to pick a fight with him and half-wanting to embrace him before I went on with a train-wreck of bewildering questions about his state of mind and why in the hell he felt he was able to run into a contaminated refinery to save the lives of people who never would have done the same for him.
If it wasn't for Genesis being there… Well, he was lucky.
He managed to defend himself though, stating reasons like it was his 'duty' before he went on about those people having families and children, and whatever else he felt were just reasons to risk his life for.
Needless to say, he felt there was no argument worth arguing due to the fact that he felt his reasons were worth dying for.
"Well you were almost dead," I grumbled when I concluded that he'd won the first round. Then I decided it was time to go onto round two and basically tell him how I felt about his wife and how I felt about everything else.
However, the words, "You don't love her," didn't have the effect I thought they would, despite how true I believed it was. Also, the fact that I didn't stop at that, and the fact that he was telling me to, "Get out… Get the hell out, Sephiroth…" made things appear that they weren't going as I planned.
"For Leviathan's sake…" he finally spat out as he pushed the sheets aside and angrily told me that, "You're acting like a lunatic and you need to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere," I told him before he made me angrier by thinking he could justify his demands by telling me his wife was on her way down.
It mattered little though, I suppose, since shortly after that, he decided that he was well enough to get up so that he could show me where the door was, and then he collapsed.
"Stubborn tonberry," I muttered as I stared down at him and sighed, What a mess. I should have known better than to push him in the state he was in. Then I sighed again and knelt beside him so that I could fix his gown.
Look at you… I regretfully thought as I stroked his hair and realised how beautiful he looked as he laid there unconscious, So vulnerable…
Mixed feelings came over me at that moment, and I wound up pulling him into my arms so that I could hold him and steal a small kiss to show my gratitude over the fact that he was alive and well.
That might have been my second biggest mistake since the whole ordeal began, because as my lips lingered over his in a state of never wanting to leave, his wife walked in.
She simply stood there with an expression I was unfamiliar with while holding her daughter's hand, and I emptily stared back at her while slightly grinning without realising it.
That will teach him, I illogically thought with my lips still pressed to his.
Unfortunately, I was so blinded by the situation that I didn't see Hojo standing behind her and glaring at me with a mixture of disgust, horror, disapproval, and an odd mix of scientific curiosity.
What I did that day, I would never forgive myself for, despite that there was no way for me to foresee the outcome. There was no way that I could have seen the consequences of my actions.
At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
Did I think that he'd come running into my arms, knowing that I was the one that set the course for the events that followed? Did I actually believe that all would be forgiven in a heartbeat and that we'd live happily ever after as a result?
Maybe.
If I wasn't thinking clearly, I might have believed in that, and sadly, I wasn't really thinking clearly. As a result, I drove Tseng to hate me beyond loathing, and worst of all, I made him hate himself more than he already did.
At first, he couldn't understand why his wife and daughter never came to see him that day. Nor could he understand why they never came to see him in the days that followed.
He kept asking for them, and every time someone got a hold of her to ask on his behalf, she simply said that she was too busy.
"He's well now," she would say, "And I want to make sure that he comes home to what he deserves."
In a way, I suppose I only added substance to her suspicions. It was a little known fact that she'd confronted him on several occasions in the past about him having affairs. However, according to him, her accusations were unwarranted.
Well, when he went home from the infirmary, he went home believing that he'd see his wife and daughter and that everything would return to normal. He could hold his daughter and spend time with her, and he and his wife could return to their bickering over why his work was more important than they were.
He didn't return home to what he'd hoped for though. Instead, he returned home to silence. It was a silence that was deafening to him as he spotted a note on his desk and read it. It was his in his wife's handwriting and it read that she was planning on leaving him. It also read that she saw him with 'him' while she threatened that he'd never see his daughter again as punishment.
Unfortunately, fate was on her side when she stated that he'd never see her or his daughter again. Tseng came to quickly discover that in a way that no man should ever have to discover it. It appeared that his wife had suffocated the girl and then slashed her own wrists in the bathtub, and that was what he found when he came home to see them again.
Those days were trying for him. No man should ever have to hold his lifeless daughter in his arms while inwardly screaming, and no one ever suspected foul play and no autopsies were performed due to his wife's unstable condition. It was common knowledge that she suffered from chronic depression and he'd often turn a blind eye to the whispers in the hallways as he'd walk by.
Could it have been avoided if I'd practiced better self control? Probably not. Eventually, fate would have seen to it if it wasn't for my own negligence, and fate would have caught up with us be it sooner or later.
I merely helped speed up the process.
From that point, Tseng took to alcoholism in a self-destructive way as he attempted to drown his self-loathing away. Many of us that knew him best suspected that he was suffering from a break-down of sorts and worried that he was eventually going to take himself out of the picture. Rufus did all that he could to keep him busy, and Reno spent as much time with him as he could while I resented them both and myself over the matter.
We all knew that Tseng drank before that. He was even known to drink on the job from time to time during a casual lunch. I could taste it and smell it on him when we'd steel those precious moments together but nothing was ever said. His performance was always exceptional and we all believed that he had himself under control.
Unfortunately, that self-control went out the window the day he returned to a lifeless home.
In an attempt to redeem the man's break-down, Rufus talked his father and Lazard into sending Tseng to Gongaga with Reno to investigate where another terrorist group known as Avalanche was getting their weapons from.
"Keeping him at home by himself is surely not the best remedy for him," Rufus argued in his youthful logic. He truly cared for Tseng and wanted nothing more than to help him recover, "Immersing him in his work may help take his mind off his troubles."
"Are you crazy!" his father asked as he slammed his fist on the table and Genesis and I stared at the door they were standing behind, "The man's a wreck and should be given his papers! Did you see him yesterday? He couldn't even walk in a straight line and looked like he hadn't showered in weeks! We don't need another head-case in the department!"
"Another head-case?" Rufus coolly asked. We sensed that Rufus suspected his father was talking about him by the tone of his voice and we both looked at each other in silent agreement.
"Perhaps, gentlemen, Rufus is correct," Lazard piped up, also sensing the tension and attempting to remedy the situation, "In the past, Tseng has always performed with exemplary results. He's an analytical man and forcing him to stay isolated only forces him to analyse the most recent events over and over."
"In other words, he's a reject who can't be relied upon," the President responded, "You said it yourself, Lazard, he'll play the damned thing over and over in his head until it damns us all."
"Father," Rufus calmly interjected, "I believe that's not what Lazard was saying."
"Of course not! You'll side with that Damned Wutian even if it leads you to your own grave!" Then the President muttered with an edge in his voice that, "I knew I shouldn't have assigned him to care for you when he first arrived. He's been nothing but a bad influence on you since day one."
"Perhaps that's your own doing," Rufus bitterly responded before Lazard interjected again.
"Gentlemen, please… This assignment carries no repercussions. It's merely an investigation into an arms dealership. No action is required and in a way, it could even be looked upon as a vacation that may prove beneficial and relaxing."
"Spoken like a true diplomat," the President grumbled. Then he sighed while muttering, "You choose your words too carefully, Lazard."
"It's logical, father," Rufus agreed, despite the fact that he wasn't known to agree with Lazard very often. Most of us assumed it was because of the rumours about them. Lazard was from a broken family and never knew his father. Yet he bared a striking resemblance to Rufus and his father, and Rufus' father was rumoured to having a weakness for the pretty blonde females that worked in his building.
Lazard's mother fit the criteria and both Rufus and Lazard resented it. Whether it was true or not, no one really knew, but it affected them both on a level that struck us as obviously bitter and suspicious towards one another.
"Very well," the President grumbled again, "I suppose I can't argue with Lazard's logic."
"No," Rufus agreed while lowering his voice and vindictively pointing out that, "But you can certainly argue with mine."
No comment was made to that, and all we heard after that as the two younger men walked out from the President's office was that, "If anything goes wrong, Lazard, it's on your head."
"I'll take full responsibility," he responded. Then he and Rufus shared a quick glance as Lazard adjusted his glasses and ran his hand through his silvery blonde bang in the same manner that Rufus did with the golden fringe that hung over his eyes. It was a look that we all came to know as distaste for one another before Lazard turned his attention to us and motioned for us to follow him into the briefing room and Rufus took his leave.
I had to admit that it seemed like a sound idea to me too. Tseng needed something to take his mind off his troubles, and what better way to do it than to send him away with his favourite Turk—Reno—on a mission that bared no repercussions?
As usual though, we should have known that things weren't going to turn out as well as we'd hoped. Something went wrong and even Reno didn't know exactly what set Tseng off. According to him, they were sitting in one of Gongaga's pubs after researching all the possible leads they were able to come up with. They were having a good time and Tseng was even smiling at Reno's antics.
"I thought I was makin progress," he insisted, "He even made a few jokes of his own; Thought a few drinks would loosen 'im up an it seemed to be workin."
But then out of nowhere, according to Reno's story, he lost Tseng's attention. A couple of men came in and were carrying on with a distasteful conversation.
"Distasteful?" Lazard asked, knowing that it wasn't Reno's usual choice of words.
"Okay…" Reno said, "Obnoxious… more'n me… They were talkin 'bout women in a 'distasteful' manner… sick kind'a shit that ya don't normally talk 'bout… 'least not'n public—was a bit hardcore, ya know?"
"Not really," Lazard honestly answered, but he urged Reno to continue anyway.
"Well, thought I'd make a joke to lighten the mood an I guess I said the wrong thing."
"What did you say?"
"Told 'im that one'a the men could pass as his father."
"I see," Lazard replied, though according to Genesis, Lazard's expression stated that he clearly didn't 'see' and looked puzzled, "And then what happened?"
"Exactly what I told ya… He kind'a snapped. One moment, he was talkin to me. I made a joke—bad taste, I know—and then quicker'n I could've reacted, he was over at the other table and just… started beatin on the guy. Kind'a brutal, ya know. Never seen nothin like it. 'Least not from Tseng… Did'n even know he was capable of being that…
"Well, anyway, as I said, I tried to stop 'im but he pushed me away an he was kind'a stronger'n I expected. Guess it was adrenaline or somethin. I dunno. I did'n wanna, but I had to call in Gongaga's security to help me—an yes, I know, I should'n have gotten anyone else involved. Shinra's business is Shinra's business, blah, blah, blah…
"But I could'n jus let 'im go at it the way he was an, well, I could'n stop 'im either."
"Gaia…" Lazard responded, "I said I'd take responsibility for his actions."
"Heh… I don't think anyone can take responsibility for what he did. Don't get me wrong. I thought it was a good idea too. I jus… dunno what happened… Like I said, he was fine; then he wasn't… I dunno… I jus… Never seen 'im like that before, ya know?"
Apparently, according to Genesis who sat in on the whole thing since he was also in Gongaga at the time and was one of the people that came in to help stop the commotion, Tseng broke the man's legs with his bare hands and nearly snapped his necked before they stopped him.
"I hear he may be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life," Genesis confided in regards to the other man, "It would appear that your little tonberry has quite the bite."
Quite the bite, Indeed, I silently agreed as we sparred in the training room and I tried to make sense out of the whole thing. Tseng wasn't the type of man to lose control like that. At least, that's what I believed, and when Genesis told me that the President was giving him one more chance solely due to Rufus' plea, I found myself needing to understand more of what really happened.
"When does he return?" I asked.
"They won't release him from custody until everything blows over," Genesis answered before he came running at me and struck with his sword and I blocked it. Then he studied me closely as we stood face to face and he mused that, "You really have no idea why he'd do such a thing, do you?"
"None," I answered. Then I pushed him back and waited for him to attack again, knowing that he was always on the offensive.
"Curious," he mused, "You've taken it upon yourself to claim him as your own and yet you know absolutely nothing about him."
"So?"
"So…? That's right… He's not really yours, is he?" he coyly asked, "From what I've gathered, he'll have nothing to do with you anymore." Then he struck again and nearly got the better of me. "Poor Sephiroth," he feigned as we stood face to face once more, "To think of all the effort you put into making him yours only to have him reject you as no other ever has."
"Well," I responded, before I pushed him away again and turned the table by putting him on the defensive when I unexpectedly charged and struck. He blocked well and we were face to face again, close enough for me to purr into his face that, "I guess I'm fine with it as long as I know that no one else can have him either."
Then I pushed him to the floor and walked away while muttering, "I win," and Genesis quietly mused that, "One day, my dear friend, your smugness will get the better of you."
As a response, I briefly stopped, turned my head slightly, and then I walked out. I figured it was best not to respond since he'd fired me up to a point to where I could no longer focus on not killing him out of sheer bitterness.
It took months for Tseng to come back to Midgar. According to what I'd gathered, he was in some kind of counselling that Lazard had ordered him to undergo. No one ever really knew what it was that set Tseng off though. Yet rumours flooded throughout the company as they always did.
Some of them were under the belief that maybe the man he attacked was his father, due to what Reno had said. Some believed that he might have been abused and finally took his chance to exact vengeance. Regardless, Tseng later confessed to me that he'd never seen the man before and that he really didn't know why he did it, even though I never fully believed him myself.
Well, during that time, while Tseng was still in Gongaga and promising never to return, his apartment caught fire due to faulty wiring. However, the department wasn't willing to dismiss the idea of foul play, and some even suspected that he might have set it up himself in order to destroy every last memory of a life he could no longer regain.
I highly doubted it was the case though. I knew he was depressed. He was drowning inside, but I also knew that he would have never destroyed the memories of his daughter, or any of the other good things he believed he had before it was taken away.
In my eyes, something like this would only set him back further than he already was.
Nonetheless, it happened. I remember it well. It was raining, the alarm in the building went off, and when I heard word that it was Tseng's apartment, I ran up there against the obstacles that stood in my way, knowing full-well that he couldn't afford to lose anything more.
He'd already lost too much as it was. He lost everything that meant anything to him, along with his respect and dignity, and now, any memories of his past—pictures, keepsakes, things that meant something to him were about to go up in smoke and I quickly grabbed everything that I could while being ordered to get the hell out of the way so that they could extinguish the fire.
It wasn't for the sake of valiancy or salvaging anything that I could have between us though. I wasn't trying to be his hero and I'd already succumbed to the belief that it was over between us. It was simply due to the fact that I cared about the man and nothing else, and when he returned to discover that he'd lost even more, he was sent to meet with Lazard and the President to hear their condolences.
They were more than willing to pay for arrangements until he could find other accommodations, and that was when I thoughtlessly barged in to offer my own accommodations.
"Forgive me," I said, "I heard the news and feel that offering my spare room to the Turk is the least I can do."
Naturally, the President regarded us both with suspicious glances as Tseng's lips tightened and he remained silent. I knew he still hated me. But I wouldn't hear of him being displaced. As far as I was concerned, he needed someone to care for him and keep an eye on him, and since no one else was offering, I figured that I'd do the honour by putting him on the spot.
It wasn't my intention to put him in a situation where he felt he couldn't refuse due to the company he was in the presence of, and as I found out later, Rufus had also offered his accommodations only to be met with his father's disapproval over the belief that they couldn't be trusted together. Even Reno had offered to give up his one bedroom apartment and was shot down by Tseng due to the fact that he refused to sleep in the wasteland that Reno called a home.
"Are you sure?" the President asked, "I've heard that the two of you have suffered some kind of 'falling out' since his idiotic rampage."
"I'm rarely home," I explained while avoiding the urge to retort to the insult, and Tseng merely shrugged as if he couldn't have cared less.
"Very well then," the President responded, "If it's fine with the two of you, it's fine with me. Not to mention that it'll be a hell of a lot cheaper for me as well." Then he let out a hearty chuckle while Lazard frowned at him in distaste and Tseng emptily stared at me through the reflection of the window behind the President's desk while I ignored the subtle feeling that I just overstepped what was left of my bounds with him.
