Chapter 6

Feel a Fear?

"Thanks for the ride, Kaji." Shinji said to Kaji as he got out of the older man's car. "No problem Shinji. Say hey to Misato for me..." Kaji replied, giving Shinji a small salute as he revved his engine and left the parking lot.

Shinji gave a slight wave as the car turned the corner. As soon as Kaji's car was out of sight, Shinji let out a sigh. He was glad that he caught up to Kaji even after he started to walk away, but now he felt empty inside. He did chicken out, leaving Ayanami to find her way to the train station. He raised his eyes towards the apartment complex that loomed before him. A single yellow porch light was left on, making the building look like an one-eyed giant monster waiting to swallow him up. And unfortunately for Shinji, he knew just what that yellow porch light meant...

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"And where have you been, Third Child." an icy voice greeted Shinji as he entered the door. Shinji cursed under his breath, seeing as his attempt at sneaking in failed miserably. The redhead stood in front of the hallway dressed in her pajamas, her arms crossed under her breasts as she stared down the Third Child. "None of your business..." Shinji whispered in reply, knowing that Asuka couldn't hear him, his eyes downcast. "What was that, Shinji!" Asuka hissed, not liking the tone of voice Shinji's mumbling had taken. "I said I went out, Asuka." Shinji replied, too spineless to really tell her where he went.

"So you 'went out', huh? Tell the truth, Ikari!" Asuka ordered. She was getting pissed. How dare this sniveling little boy lie to her! "I just went... out." Shinji repeated. He was getting nervous. Shinji just wanted to go to his room, lie in bed, and hope this storm would pass. The storm raged on, however.

"So you can lie now too, huh, Shinji?" Asuka said, her voice getting dangerously low. Shinji looked at her with frightened eyes. "Here it comes..." he thought, bracing himself for a tongue-lashing. "Fine. If you want to keep your little date a secret, then keep it that way." Asuka said icily, turning her heel sharply and slamming the door to her room in Shinji's face. The Third Child shook his head slowly, knowing that this would be far worse than any scolding. It would be something that would linger for far longer.

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"Oh God!" Rei screamed as she hugged Shinji's arm closer in the theater. "Ha, c'mon Rei, this movie isn't even that scary!" Shinji laughed as he grabbed another handful of popcorn from the bucket they shared. "I don't care! How's this any better than that other dinosaur film you made me watch." Rei whined, clutching Shinji tighter as another raptor entered the movie-screen kitchen. "Jurassic Park's twenty years old. I didn't think that there was anybody left alive that would still be scared by it." Shinji replied, looking at Rei with good humor.

"You said the same thing about Godzilla, but that was scary too..." She sighed, looking up to Shinji. The Third Child smiled as the girl looked up to him with... well, he couldn't really pin what it was, but he liked it. Rei felt that familiar stirring in her chest again, the minor fright she received from the movie all but forgotten. Her lips parted slowly as she drew a small breath, then closed, then opened again. Shinji smiled softly, and he inched closer to the young girl's lips. "This is a dream, isn't it?" Rei whispered, as her mouth neared his.

"Doesn't matter..." Shinji replied softly, pulling her gently towards him.

"I suppose not." Rei sighed, as a moment later, their lips met.

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Shinji let out a pent-up breath, watching as the sliding door vibrate for a few seconds before he heard a muffled thump in the Second Child's room, presumably from Asuka throwing herself onto her bed. Another shuffle echoed through the apartment, and Shinji turned in time to see the other hallway light sputter to life. "Oh,huh? Shinji, you're back." A bleary-eyed Misato said as she fumbled around the apartment. "Hey Misato." Shinji said softly, feeling tired all of a sudden.

"It's almost one o'clock, Shinji. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask you what happened to keep you for so long, but right now, I'm just glad you came home." Misato said, smiling. "Thanks Misato. I'll be going to my room now." Shinji replied, giving a small bow, just because he felt like it. "Okay. Goodnight, Shinji-chan." Misato said, stifling a yawn as she turned to get to her own bed. Shinji's shoulders slumped as he entered his room. Letting out another built-up sigh, Shinji let his body crash on his bed, fast asleep before his head hit the pillows.

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"So this isn't happening at all..." Rei said, her hands on top of Shinji's. "Nope. None of it's real." Shinji said, as they lay on the grass, Shinji's arms encircling her, looking up at the field of stars above that replaced the movie house.

"Great. I have to wake up from this, don't I." Rei said sadly, pressing herself closer to her Shinji, waiting for the inevitable sunrise. "Maybe I just won't wake up." Rei whispered, knowing the life that lay ahead of her.

"Ayanami-san, you know you can't do that." Shinji said, a hint of sorrow in his voice. "And why not? Just so I can be a lifeless shell again? Just so I can be hated and alone? Just so I can be a tool? I'm sorry if that doesn't sound too appealing, but I'd rather sleep forever than go back to that." Rei said softly, but with more conviction than she had ever displayed.

"But what about Shinji..." Shinji said, sounding strange. "I have you, don't I." Rei said, raising her eyes towards him. "Rei, this can't be how things stay." Shinji said softly, drawing his arms away from the girl over him. "I know... demo... can't I stay just a little bit longer..." Rei pleaded, her eye becoming wet. Shinji shook his head no and disentangled himself from the girl, standing up.

"Ayanami-san, you yourself know this is a lie. One of the greatest lies you have ever faced, and worse yet, this is a lie you made for yourself. You know it, and in a sense, so do I, and you hate yourself for it..." Shinji began, as the sun peeked over the horizon. "... There is only one way to escape from this, Rei. Please, for all of us, I hope you can face the morning one more time." Shinji said, waving a small goodbye as the sun shone brightly before the two teenagers...

Rei sat up slowly, looking around. Same gray walls. Same beaker. Same Rei. Same life. "Fk it all..." Rei muttered, slowly rising to live another day in hell.

Author's Note:

Alright, I know this is an effed-up chapter, but I'm stuck in a rut right now. I really need to post something before I go crazy. Somebody please help me out! I need suggestions, and I need them bad.

FPOTM