A/N: All this LP-baby-goodness is in my head, which I'm sure you can tell not only from the two oneshots I've posted but from some of the content in this chapter. It's fluffy, maybe even a little cheesy, but I can't write angst write now, I just can't. There will be more drama to come, just not yet. Apologies for any typos, I suck at proof-reading my own stuff. Reviews are love.
07. Think I'll Walk Me Outside and Buy a Rainbow Smile, but be Free; They're All Free
"How're you doing, tiger?" Peyton asked with a playful giggle as she tugged the sheets that were covering her fiancé away.
"No," he groaned, weakly trying to make a grab for the comforter before she tugged it out of his reach.
"How's your head?" she asked sympathetically.
Lucas opened his eyes and immediately squinted – the sun was far too bright. "I'm honestly not sure if I can remember anything from the last two days."
"Honey, you already have amnesia; try to forget the stuff you're actually capable of remembering." She was trying to tease him, but inside she was tired and sad and a little bit worried. She and Lucas had had some really good moments over the past couple days, but he'd been hopped up – or rather, down – on painkillers for most of those moments. She wanted him to remember hugging her when she got into bed, reminding her how he used to admire her from afar, all of those wonderful things that renewed her faith in true love.
"I'm sorry," Lucas said softly, and her heart lurched.
"No, don't be," she said soothingly, joining him on the bed. "I've got to say, though…your doctors and I are going to have words about the drugs you've been on."
He lifted a hand and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," she laughed.
"Well, it was only a couple days of the really heavy stuff, right? Now things can calm down and go back to normal."
She smiled fondly at him and sighed. "That sounds so good. You have no idea."
Lucas returned her smile and commented, "You look happy."
"I am. Happy to have you here with me."
"So…what do we do today?"
"I was thinking…maybe we could do this for real, you know? Really reconnect. I want you to know me like you always have."
He twirled her hair around his index finger idly. "That sounds perfect. What to do want to do?"
There were a million things on her mind, some of which it was much too early for, some of which important, some of which were trivial and yet somehow meaningful. "So much," she whispered, feeling a little breathless. "But we're going to have to stick around the house for a little while, because – "
The voice of the person she was expecting interrupted her as Karen Roe stepped through the front door and called, "Where's my baby boy?!"
Peyton grinned at Luke, "Because your mom gets home today," she finished.
She was excited to see Karen – it had been nearly a year since she'd seen the woman who was a surrogate mother to her, and Brooke and Haley. And she was happy for Lucas that he'd see his mom; a familiar face and an automatic source of comfort. Yet, at the same time, she was a little disappointed. Haley, Nathan, and Brooke had all faded away for the past couple days, giving the newly acquainted couple their space, and Lucas time to recover. She'd enjoyed the selfish aspect, having him all to himself, telling him things, reacquainting him with his own history. It'd been blissful to just stay tucked in the house all by themselves for a while.
It had also reinforced the fact that she was unbelievably glad she'd taken Haley's advice and slipped that ring on her finger.
"Karen, hi!" she called. She'd initially planned on yelling We're in the bedroom, but it had occurred to her that that could morph into a slightly awkward situation.
"Peyton," the older woman said as she walked through the door, fit and tan, hair cut perfectly, big, relieved smile in place. "Hi, honey," she said warmly, opening her arms.
She scrambled off the bed, suddenly feeling very young and completely in need of the proffered hug. She let herself melt into Karen's embrace for a moment, squeezing back gratefully. "I'm glad you're here. You look amazing."
Karen touched her cheek and smiled fondly. "We'll talk, okay?" she promised softly, and Peyton nodded gratefully before stepping out of the way, giving Karen a clear path to her son.
"Hey, Mom," he said, taking in her changed appearance. Peyton wondered what Karen looked like in Lucas' memories.
"Hi, sweetie," Karen replied with a relieved sigh, walking over and wrapping her arms around her elder child. For such a small woman, she gave killer bear hugs. "Oh, it's so good to see you. You're okay!"
"I am," he agreed with a small laugh.
"No more car accidents, alright? Please, Lucas."
"There were others?" he asked in total bewilderment. Peyton had tried to refrain from telling him anything negative from the past.
Karen sighed and laughed in spite of herself. "You have no idea, honey."
Peyton cleared her throat. "I'll give you two some time. Do you want anything? Tea or coffee or food?"
"No, Peyton, thank you. You should get out of the house for a while, get some fresh hair. Maybe go see Haley, or Brooke?" Karen smiled gently. "You should let someone look after you for a little bit."
She blushed and nodded, smiling quickly at Lucas before she stepped out of the room and grabbed her purse, heading toward the front door. Talking to someone other than Lucas didn't seem like the worst idea, and she wanted to give mother and son their privacy.
-x-
"Hello?" she called as she walked through the door of Nathan and Haley's home, where Lucas had been living most of the time prior to the accident, helping with Jamie. They'd agreed that he would recover best in his old house, away from the busy schedules of Nathan and Haley and their baby boy, who woke up consistently in the middle of the night. Besides, with Brooke in town and staying with them, Naley still had an extra pair of hands if needed.
"Hey!" Haley cried happily, emerging from the living room and smiling at her. "It's good to see you, you've been MIA for the past couple days. How are you? How's Luke? Let me make you tea or lemonade or something."
Peyton smiled, unable to get a word in edgewise. Karen was, as usual, right. It felt good to have someone worry about her for a change. She followed Haley and replied, "I'm fine. Luke's…he's doing good. He's finally off those really heavy painkillers, so I fee like now we can…really start over."
"Good," Haley said emphatically, "that's good."
Nathan was sitting at the kitchen table staring at his laptop as though it were a great source of confusion. "Hey, Peyt," he said when he spotted her. "How's Lucas?"
"Getting better," she told him with a smile, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Listen, once things get…sort of back to normal…you two should spend some time together. I could be there, or Haley, but…you should get back to how you were. He's your brother. And I think he senses that you've changed."
He grinned at her in thanks, placing his hand over hers. "Thanks. That sounds good."
"Sit down," Haley said; it was the kindest sort of order. "Is Luke alone now?"
"No, Karen just got back, I thought I'd give them some time."
"She's home? Oh, that's great. I've wanted…to give you guys your space and everything, but do you think it would be okay if I came over? I've love to see Karen, and I've been wanting to talk to Luke again."
"Haley, of course you can. He's not my possession or anything."
"May as well be, with the way he looks at you," Brooke said as she walked in, sticking out her tongue playfully and making Peyton blush. She was holding Jamie, who had his head resting against her shoulder, eyes sleepy but alert.
"Funny," Peyton sighed.
Brooke rolled her eyes. "Hey, P. How are you?"
"I'm okay. I'm good."
"Good," Brooke replied in the same decisive way Haley had. She sat down on Peyton's right, Jamie contentedly sitting on her lap. Brooke noticed Peyton's gaze on the little boy and offered, "Wanna hold my godson?"
"Someone's possessive," Nathan chuckled, still engrossed in whatever was on his computer. "You've got to remember that Peyton's his aunt."
"Not yet," she protested shyly, opening her arms.
"Don't be so modest," Brooke sighed, gently placing Jamie in her arms. "Here, buddy, go see your Aunt Peyton."
He was so small, but getting big quickly, his body warm against hers, his sweet eyes exploring her face. It had been nearly a year since she'd seen her almost-nephew. "Hey, baby James," she whispered to him, gently tickling his tummy, and he grinned up at her adorably.
"He loves you," Haley said quietly, so as not to ruin the moment, setting a tall glass of lemonade in front of her.
"But your godmother's still your favourite, right?" Brooke teased, leaning forward and tickling Jamie as well.
He giggled delightedly and squirmed away from her hands, closer to Peyton, and her heart skipped a beat as she felt a maternal instinct kick in that she'd never before even thought that she might have.
Haley, intuitive and all-knowing as always, caught the change in her and blurted, "Oh my god, you want a baby."
She laughed lightly as Jamie tugged on a curl that had slipped out of her ponytail. "No, not right now, I don't." She gently handed Jamie back to Brooke. "It'll be a few years before Luke and I even start thinking about kids." She glanced down at her hands and sighed. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Part of her was thankful, because she had the chance again, to be with Lucas, his fiancée and wife and the mothers of his children. But at the same time, she felt a little empty, a little sad – his amnesia had taken time from what they might have had so much sooner.
"Let's talk about something happier," Brooke said immediately, and steered the conversation into more neutral territory.
Nathan whined playfully while they gossiped and giggled, Jamie fell asleep in Brooke's arms, and Haley pulled a box of cookies out of the cupboard. Sitting at their kitchen table, with the people who truly made up her family, Peyton was glad to be home.
She wondered why she'd stayed in L.A. And she wondered why she'd ever been so reluctant to leave, especially if it meant coming back to this.
-x-
"I can't let you do that," Peyton protested. "This is your house."
"No, honey, when I left, it became Lucas'."
"But even then…it was your house," she insisted as Karen picked up her bags. "And you're family. It's not like we're using your room…" she trailed off. Did Karen care that she and Lucas were sharing a bed? "Please, just stay."
"Peyton." Karen placed both of her hands on top of the blonde's. "I really appreciate the sentiment, but it's fine. Andy's already booked my room for me and we'll just…we'll see how long I stay, how well Lucas is doing. But for now, you're taking excellent care of him, and you two deserve as much time together as possible, to know one another again. It's okay." She squeezed her hands. "I'll be in touch."
"Okay…thank you," she added as a grateful afterthought.
"Oh, and Peyton?"
"Yeah?"
Karen sighed and smiled sadly. "I didn't tell Lucas about…Keith or Lily or Andy or…any of what's happened, and I know you haven't either."
"Yeah," she whispered. "It's hard."
His mother nodded sympathetically. "Yes, it is, but he needs to know soon."
"Yeah, of course, I assumed…you'd want to tell him."
"I do," she said with another nod. "But I think you should be there, too. If you'd like to be."
"Really? I…yeah, of course I would. Thank you," she said meaningfully. "That…it means a lot."
"You're the most important thing in his world, Peyton," Karen said softly, her gaze floating downward to the ring – her old ring – that sat on the blonde's slim finger. "He wouldn't have given you that otherwise."
She felt like a broken record, but she said it anyway: "Thank you."
Karen gave her one last hug, kissed her cheek, and headed out to her rental car. Peyton closed the door behind her, sighing. The emotional overload she was feeling certainly didn't show any signs of letting up soon.
"Hey."
"Hey," she replied fondly at the sight of Lucas standing in the doorway. "What're you doing up? You're supposed to stay in bed."
"Bed, huh?" he asked cheekily. "Only if you join me."
Her smile dropped a little bit and his cheeks turned red, the slightest bit, as he said, "Wow, was that too forward? I'm sorry."
"No, Luke…of course it wasn't," she sighed. "We're engaged. We've…we've been in love for a long time. We've had sex," she said bluntly, and noticed just a bit more colour in his cheeks, "even if you don't remember any of that. It's just…it's weird when you say stuff like that, it's like…it's like for a minute nothing's changed and we…" she trailed off, ashamed of her babbling. "Sorry. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said quietly. "This is hard on you, too, I know that."
She wiped away her tears before they could fully escape her eyes. "I just don't want to loose time. I don't want to take years to get to know you again, to let you in again." She shook her head, laughing a little at herself, and reached out to take his hand. "You're feeling okay, on your feet?"
"Yeah, I feel good," he replied, giving her hand a squeeze.
"Okay," she whispered. "Let's go somewhere."
-x-
"What is it?" she asked Lucas softly. They were sitting in her car, licking ice cream cones contentedly, bodies curved toward each other's. She'd driven them out to a notorious makeout spot that was currently clear of high school students. She hadn't brought him there for anything, just to show off the gorgeous view and give them a quiet place to talk.
"Hm?"
"Something's obviously bothering you; what is it?"
He sighed. "It's just…it's weird, and I feel bad. You walked up to that guy and asked for my favourite ice cream like it was the most obvious piece of information you knew. I don't…know that stuff about you."
She was touched and her heart went out to him. "It's okay," she said, indicating to her cone, "Now you do. One step at a time."
"Rainbow, huh?"
"Yep."
"I would have thought that you'd like something more…serious."
She arched her eyebrows, giggling. "There's such a thing as serious ice cream?"
"Bad adjective," he laughed, acknowledging his fault. "Just something darker, like…Death by Chocolate."
She laughed and shivered as she swallowed. "Yeah, I guess that would make sense. Maybe my taste in ice cream is more cheery than my personality."
Lucas shook his head, smiling fondly at her. "You're different. Different than I remember you. You're still beautiful, and your personality's pretty similar, but you seem…freer, a little more comfortable with yourself, more relaxed."
"It was you," she said quietly. "You did that for me."
"It couldn't have just been me," he said, finishing off his ice cream cone. "It had to be more than that."
She shook her head stubbornly. "It was mostly you. You love with your whole heart, Luke. You're passionate about things and fearless when you need to be. You taught me how to be that way, too. You taught me not to be scared of everything, like needing people and letting myself let go and just live."
"Not to be scared, huh?" he asked softly, eyes skimming over her face. He took in her glittering green eyes, alight with happiness, her curls brushing her chin, her smile big and bright, her tongue all the shades of the rainbow.
"Yeah," she whispered back. Her hands were shaking and she couldn't breathe.
As he leaned toward her, she caught the reflection of the stars in his eyes, specks of glittering gold, and her heart melted just before his lips met hers.
It was the perfect first kiss; better than the one they'd actually had, brought on only by Brooke's drunken dare at Dan's annual money burn. It left her both satisfied and wanting more, and a little bit more in love with him than she'd ever been before. Tentative passion, that's what it was, and it was amazing.
"I love you," she breathed when they broke apart, his eyes frantically searching hers. She couldn't help it, couldn't hold in those words any longer.
It didn't matter that it was too soon, too early, for him to say it back. He didn't have to. She could see those three words, eight letters, looking right back at her, right there, shining in his eyes along with the constellations.
