Balthier was thoroughly convinced that clubs were the most inelegant weapon one could use. He preferred the distance a gun afforded him. It also kept him a great deal cleaner since he was not showered with monster guts on the battlefield from said distance. Although there was some degree of satisfaction in whipping some heavy blunt object through the air to smack some irritating bat swooping over one's head. The aftermath was the problem.
Sticky, goopy bat innards now coated both his and Ashe's clothes as they trudged through the Lhusu Mines. The Princess could still not maneuver at full strength, so he was the only one engaged in this swatting exercise. But he made sure to send enough of the bat remnants in her direction, to which she was getting increasingly irritated with him.
"We couldn't have just gone in with that other group. The other group that had torches and a fully trained escort to deal with all these horrible bats," she complained as she pulled a gooey bat wing off of the bottom of her dress.
He smiled. "Too conspicuous! We can approach in the dark now…just a moment." Another one of those blasted creatures attempted to dive at her head, and he swung the club. It was a close call, the club swishing just over her head. A loud squeal signaled the bat's retreat, and Ashe winced.
"Balthier!" she moaned, "If you'd killed that thing, I would be wiping its guts from my hair. Next time you splatter one of them, I'll wipe it all over your face. Don't do that again."
The sky pirate perched the club on his shoulder in a manner he usually saved for his gun. He put his other arm around her shoulder and continued to lead them through the dusty, drafty mine. They weren't far from the magicite viewing area, and they had already encountered several dumbfounded ball guests, but there was still no sign of Langden Durio.
"This will all be over soon, and you will have the privilege of using the Strahl's facilities to clean yourself up," he replied. She grunted in response and continued picking little bits of bat from her formerly beautiful gown. Balthier would not admit it out loud, but there was something incredibly attractive about a messy Princess.
The guts themselves were not exactly enticing, but since they had entered the mine a short while ago, her hair had become tousled and the bottom of her dress had torn. There was now a very exciting rip from her ankle to her thigh, exposing skin that he was actually quite used to seeing the entire day. But having it visible in this manner was all the more forbidden and interesting. He had also tried not to mention the smudge of dirt perched at the tip of her nose.
Balthier himself was rather obsessive about hygiene, but seeing his girl dirtied in this way got him rather hot and bothered. As soon as they got the ship back, they'd have a nice long flight back to Balfonheim. Perhaps he could persuade Her Majesty to…
"Is that him?"
He was startled out of his thoughts. "Wha-what?"
Ashe pulled them aside into a shadowy corner, and were they there for some other purpose, he would let himself enjoy it more. She whispered into his ear. "Ahead, standing by himself there." The Princess pointed to a rather short fellow dressed in fancy attire. The man was nervously biting his fingernails as if he was waiting for something to happen…or waiting for the rightful owner of the airship he had stolen. Even in the relative darkness of the mine, Balthier recognized him right away.
He felt himself grip the club tightly, nearly giving himself a splinter from the wood it was made from. "That's him," he answered, willing himself not to sprint down the mine shaft to beat the man senseless. That wouldn't get the Strahl back. He set the club down and decided to get Ashe prepared.
Fortunately, Durio was standing entirely alone, and the plan could go without a hitch. He pulled his best handkerchief out and grabbed Ashe's chin abruptly. "Hey!" she hissed at him, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips. Her eyes narrowed at him as he began cleaning her face with the handkerchief.
"You're a pretty girl, Ashe, you know that. But you've got a bit of bat on you, and we can't have you screwing this up for us," he muttered as he dared to spit on the handkerchief. She scowled at him as he rubbed the cloth across her dirtied nose.
"No pressure," she grumbled as he continued his ministrations. Finally satisfied, he put his handkerchief away and took a peek back to see the nervous waste of space still biting his nails. Keep biting, Durio, he thought angrily.
The sky pirate turned to his partner. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a wink. "I believe in you. You've been nothing but glorious all day." He turned her around, and she held her shoulders high. He shoved her off with an encouraging pat to the backside. "Go get my ship back."
Ashe turned to glare at him, but she reverted back to Lady Radovan and headed over to Durio. Balthier crept along behind her, staying in the shadows to avoid being detected. The ginger fellow was tapping his foot impatiently, looking around every other second like a startled animal in a trap.
The Princess hurried up to him, and Balthier smiled at Durio's reaction. It was like he was seeing some angel in the darkness. "Oh thank goodness you're here! I was beginning to think I'd lost everyone!" Ashe cried, latching onto the man's shoulders. He jumped at the contact and backed away from her.
"Uh…um, I'm sorry. I was…I mean I'm…uh, hi. I'm Balthier Bunansa," Durio muttered, holding out his hand.
Balthier was astonished at Ashe's ability to maintain a straight face with the bumbling fool, especially when he introduced himself. "Balthier Bunansa? You don't say! What a lovely name. Now Balthier, my name is Alene, and it would appear that we have lost our group. How about we try walking back together?" She shook Durio's hand and then tugged on it, pulling the confused man back in the direction of where Balthier was hiding.
Durio continued to babble incoherently, his eyes moving rapidly from Ashe's face to her bust line and clearly torn up dress. He was finally able to calm himself a bit. "It's uh…it's wonderful to meet you. Yes…yes, very nice to make your acquaintance, uh. But hold on a moment." Durio pulled his hand away, and his eyes left Ashe's chest to look around anxiously.
"What's wrong? This is the way back, isn't it?" Ashe asked nervously. Something was off, and he tried to catch her eyes to encourage her to move ahead with the plan. She glanced quickly over to him and nodded. The Princess turned her attentions back to the red headed man. "Do you have a ship, Balthier? It's awfully cold down here, and maybe we could take a tour of the purvama? Just you and me?"
At the mention of the word "ship," Durio nearly leapt out of his skin. "Ship? No…I…I mean, yes. Yes, I have a ship, of course I do. It's just uh, it's this way..."
Durio held his hand out, and she took it. Come on, Ashe…get him to lead you to it, Balthier thought, trying to send a telepathic message to her with every bit of will power he had. But the next thing that happened was truly a surprise.
With an amazing amount of strength (well…for Durio any show of strength was amazing) he grabbed the Princess around the waist and pulled her against him. "I got her!" he cried. "I got her!"
Who was Durio talking to? Ashe squirmed in his grasp and managed to punch him in the stomach, and he stayed back unless she needed help. The ginger fellow clutched his stomach, and Balthier figured that the Princess was doing a fine job with her own defense.
Durio lunged at her again, screaming "I got her! He has to be here, too!" Ashe's eyes widened as she glanced over in his direction.
"Balthier!" she cried out, her face utterly surprised. "Behind you!"
Durio had an accomplice? The sky pirate turned around, but he saw nothing as some moron decided to throw a canvas sack over his head. But he was very astonished at the familiar smell of his attackers…how did they survive?
His fighting instincts kicked in, and he began throwing punches left and right, but none were connecting thanks to his lack of vision. He could hear Ashe's muffled screams, and he wondered when this had all gone to hell.
He thought he heard Ashe scream "Balthier, I'm going to kill you!" but it could have been the breeze floating through the mines.
"Stop tugging on the rope. It's rubbing against my wrist."
"Well I beg your pardon, Princess. I am not exactly comfortable at present myself," he muttered back angrily. They were in some distant mine shaft, far far away from the comforts of any of Sir Merritt's partygoers.
The Strahl had been within their grasp, he had thought. All he had to do was follow Ashe and Durio, and he could have his ship back. But it appeared that the fates truly loathed him, and that damned fool bounty hunter had popped out of the sandsea to nab him.
He swore that Ba'Gamnan had gone into the sands. He SWORE. But alas, the vile Bangaa had managed to get out of that, and he and his abhorrent gang now held him and the Princess in the mines. Durio had been a red herring all along, but it appeared he had been double crossed by the bounty hunter crew as he was tied up in the mines along with them. Durio had always been an easy mark, so it was probably simple for Ba'Gamnan to have him lure the sky pirate away with the promise of the Strahl as reward.
Currently, he and the Princess were back to back and seated on the cold, dirty mine floor, tied together with thick, heavy rope. They were bound around their chests and then their wrists were bound on their sides so that Balthier could not move his arm without pulling Ashe's along with it. Since they had been in their new imprisonment, Ashe had said little. He probably deserved it. He had not considered that it was a trap all along, and now their journey to the Bahamut was going to be delayed a bit longer.
Balthier glanced over to where Durio was tied up. The sky pirate wished that they'd chained Ashe to Durio instead because she kept trying to pull on the rope, and he just knew he was going to be bleeding soon. "I knew you weren't clever enough for all this, Durio!" he called.
"Look who's talking, Balthier!" the Princess complained, tugging her left arm forward and dragging his right with it.
He turned his head to be greeted with Ashe's swishing hair in his face. He blew the hair away and scowled at her. "Hey! I don't need you turning on me! We'll figure a way out of this!"
"Figure a way OUT?!" she screeched, turning her head to glance at him as best she could. "We're tied up…to each OTHER, mind you. This idiot does not have your ship and furthermore does not know where it is….right?"
Durio nodded sadly. "Right."
She went on. "That stupid crew has been after you and only you all this time! I'm supposed to be fighting for my country. In fact, I should be marching triumphantly into my capital city at this very moment, but no! I'm here in a torn dress, I'm tied up, I'm dirty, and I'm hungry. I'm absolutely livid, and you think we're going to figure a way out of this?"
He let her continue to yell at him, and he tuned her out. At least she was attractive when she was furious. Heaven forbid someone ever declared war against Dalmasca in the future. They'd have to face this type of verbal onslaught.
"….and I went along with this charade. I played your little pirate games. I even let you stick your tongue down my throat but for what? To be captured and held like some captured bounty? I don't care if I have to climb up the Bahamut myself. I am not staying here any longer. What is that Bangaa's name again?"
"Ba'Gamnan," the sky pirate supplied helpfully.
"Ba'Gamnan! Ba'Gamnan, come out here this instant! You are imprisoning royalty and…"
"Ashe! Don't tell him that!"
"Don't tell me what to do, Balthier! Ba'Gamnan! Perhaps we can negotiate my release? I have pressing business in Dalmasca that requires my presence. I don't care what you do with this arrogant pirate, let me go this minute!" she cried angrily, and if Balthier could move his hands at all, he would be holding his head in them. She could be so stupid for someone so intelligent.
The hideous bounty hunter wandered in then with the rest of his gang, a wicked smile plastered across his pointed snout. "Why should I let you go?" he asked, "We expected that bunny to be with him, but no matter. If you really are royalty, then imagine what kind of gil we'll get from Judge Gabranth!" His thugs laughed uproariously, and Balthier sighed.
"Wait…I was just kidding!" Ashe lied hopelessly, "I just want to go. Please? This is between you and him!" She brought her elbow backwards to jostle him in the side.
"Would you stop that?" Balthier complained. He turned to the Bangaa and smirked. "Look Ba'Gamnan, we've had our share of problems in the past. But we really must get to Rabanastre and in the Strahl if you don't mind. I will happily turn myself over to you once our business is taken care of in Dalmasca…"
The Bangaa got in his face and laughed, the stench of his breath making Balthier rather queasy. "Listen to you, Balthier. You speak as if you are the one in charge and not the idiot on the ground tied to a princess who can't keep her mouth shut. Watching this will be more satisfying than turning you over to the authorities. Gwazi, get them up."
"Wait! Wait, please!" Ashe cried as Ba'Gamnan's crew pulled them up and started dragging them in the direction of a draft. "You wouldn't dare!" the Princess squealed, and Balthier realized that the draft was coming from a rather large hole in the mine shaft.
Ba'Gamnan laughed as the Princess and the pirate were held beside the giant hole, only clouds visible beneath their feet. The bounty hunter cackled heartily. "Are you afraid, Balthier? I thought people that fall from purvama don't die?"
Balthier felt Ashe grip his hand, holding onto him for dear life. He held his head up high and looked him in the eye. "I was never interested in finding out if the rumors were true," he uttered.
The Princess turned to him and whispered shakily. "If…if we die like this, I will haunt you in the afterlife. I swear to the gods, I will be a plague upon your soul the likes of which you can't possibly imagine."
He smiled. "I love you, too."
The bounty hunters picked them up and held them over the hole in the floor, and Balthier could feel the drafty air on his face. This was not how the leading man was going to die, was it?
