Committed
Chapter Six
Plastic Fork Shank
Izaya spit out the Serequil into the toilet and flushed. Getting back in the doctor's good graces would not be easy, so he'd started to cheek his pills to make it look like he was actually trying. Two days later and he was back down to one-on-one, but it still didn't change the fact that a nurse named Arisa was watching him like a hawk. The bathroom was his only private moment, and even that wasn't too solitary as his observation tech was hovering right outside the door.
Izaya stepped out and brushed his teeth (as the sink was out in the bedroom area) in order to get that nasty taste out of his mouth. Still, things were in his favor, as Arisa was the nurse he'd overheard talking about stealing pills. All he had to do when he needed a moment was to threaten her with that and she allowed it within reason. So long as he didn't cost her her job, he was free from prying eyes for a few minutes at a time.
It amazed him how much value that had, when on the outside all he had to do was tell Namie to take a hike if he wanted to be alone, and he could do so for hours or even days at a time.
Tch. It sounded like he was referring to this as prison.
Which it debatably was.
"Today my goal is to find an alternative way to cope with my frustration," Izaya said in group that morning, trying to put on the good boy face.
"Does anyone have any suggestions for Izaya-san?" Tenshi asked the group.
Disgruntled silence. Oh yeah, everyone was still mad at him for giving them tough love.
"You could … um … paint?" Gretchen finally mumbled.
"Good! What else?"
"Watch TV," Yoshi suggested.
"Pace the hallways," Kareshi snorted. "Like there's anything else to do..."
"I miss Addy," Itane said absently.
Addy had been discharged earlier that day, and it seemed everyone was green with envy over her freedom. Then again she'd spent a total of ten days there, so the doctor was pushing it if he wanted to keep her the full fifteen. Izaya would have been lying if he had said he wasn't jealous as well.
"All lovely suggestions," Izaya told his fellow inmates. "Thank you for your input." This was so pathetic that he wanted to vomit. Ugh, just listening to himself gave him a gag.
Izaya was convinced that his upper body strength had at least doubled he'd pulled up from that door frame so many times by now. The whole day was a blur of boredom until visiting hours. Izaya had a little hope that maybe Shizu-chan would visit again, and his hope came true as his heart rate jumped a bit.
Why so nervous?
"Hey."
Izaya dropped form the door frame and turned with a smile. "Hi, hi, Shizu-chan! What brings you here today?"
Shizuo shrugged. "Just checking in on your sanity I guess."
"At an all time low, rest assured," Izaya snorted irritably.
"Hey, who's the girl with the short black hair? And the guy visiting her?"
"Haruna-chan? I'm pretty sure that it's her father, Newajima-san. Why?"
"They look awfully familiar is all..." Shizuo mused, putting his curled finger to his lips in a most thoughtful manner.
"They should be," Izaya laughed. "You nearly killed Newajima-san with a van door, and the girl is responsible for all those people assaulting you out of her 'love' for you last fall."
"The Slasher, huh?" Shizuo replied. "I'm not surprised that she's in here. Isn't this an acute facility though?"
"I think they've been transferring her around or something because they can't find the right kind of care for her," Izaya dismissed.
"How come I couldn't visit you for the past few days?"
"Ah. I claimed a day pass and sort of abused it."
Shizuo smiled. "You mean you broke out?"
"I guess if you want to call it that. I prefer the term 'escaped.'"
They laughed together. God this was weird! There was no way Shizu-chan felt as casual as he looked. Izaya wanted to lick the look right off of his face suddenly, so he decided to make the man squirm.
"Shizu-chan, are you gay?"
"Huh-what?"
"Just wondering. I'm no good at those kind of things, and Ryo seems to think you are. I've got a bet with him you see, and I'm dying to know..."
Shizuo coughed and blinked, trying to absorb the crass question with as much tact as he could. It was comical to watch. "Ah... well … not really, no..."
"Not really?" Izaya repeated, curiosity intensifying by the second. "What does that mean?"
"It's not like I'd be opposed to that kind of encounter... it's just that the opportunity hasn't really presented itself," he finally said awkwardly, scratching his head. "I sure hope you won that bet, because this is weird."
Izaya laughed. "Oh yeah, I won the bet alright. I have to say that I'm glad."
"You're glad?"
Izaya leaned over the table they were sitting at, cupping his chin in his hands and leaning in very close. "I'm sort of in the same predicament, Shizu-chan. Is that irony or what?"
Shizuo said nothing, with a sort of unreadable expression that might be mistaken for a slight blush. Izaya leaned forward a bit, eager to try Shizuo on, sexual identity be damned when he realized that someone was standing in the doorway of the sunroom.
"Do you mind?" Izaya sneered to the intruder.
Haruna stood there in her daze, eyes wide with a plastic fork in her right hand. "It's you."
"Me?" Shizuo asked, a little confused.
"Yes. You, Heiwajima Shizuo. You know... I love you very, very ,very, very much, still to this day..." Haruna said softly, applying pressure with her thumb on the plastic wear.
"Ooookay..." Shizuo replied cautiously. He got out of his chair and stood up. "Izaya-kun, where are all these staff that you always say are down your throat all the time?"
"Good question," Izaya sighed. "The one day Crazy-chan decides to snap, right?"
The fork snapped in Haruna's hand and she was left with a sharp shard of plastic. "Saika is still with me... she tells me to love … love by blood!" Haruna suddenly charged Shizuo, wielding the plastic shank with deadly accuracy. "AND I STILL LOVE YOU, HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO!"
"NO!" Izaya cried, jumping in front of Shizuo. He guessed Shizuo didn't react out of fear of hurting her with his inhuman strength, but Izaya would not sit by and allow him to be stabbed. Not after all the progress they'd made. The man was actually willing to forgive him – something nobody had ever been willing to do for him! He was not willing to give that up. Not now. Not ever.
The shank tore open Izaya's arm as he grabbed Haruna's wrist and tried to twist it out of her hand. She started to scream and flail wildly, landing several cuts and gashes on Izaya's chest and face. Shizuo moved in quickly from behind and half-nelsoned her to minimize the damage she had already achieved against Izaya.
"HEY DEADBEATS, WHERE'S THAT CODE YELLOW?" Izaya yelled down the hall. John and Thomas jumped out of their chairs, abandoning their respective all-consuming activities to sprint down to them in order to assist.
Haruna was still slashing and kicking wildly, but the two techs were able to hold her down as Tenshi injected a tranquilizer into her thigh. She threw her limbs about for a few more seconds, then the movement slowed to a weak and sloppy grab at Shizuo, who had immediately backed away when the two staff came in to handle it.
"Man, people just love to hit you around here..." Izaya chuckled, holding his forearm and trying to apply enough pressure to slow the bleeding.
"Izaya-san!" Tenshi cried, kneeling beside him once he dropped to his knees. "Are you alright?"
"It's not too bad..." Izaya said, very glad he wasn't wearing his jacket. "I'm just glad she can't do what Anri-chan can anymore..." Tenshi cocked her head with Shizuo. Shizuo was only vaguely aware of exactly what Saika could do, and Tenshi didn't have a clue. Izaya chuckled. "Hey Tenshi, gotta bandaid? Or six?"
"Come on, we're taking you to the ER," she said suddenly, helping him up and rushing him down the hall. A trail of blood droplets followed Izaya, which of course terrified Gretchen. She ran screaming the other way as Tenshi made Izaya sit in a wheelchair to get him to the ground floor in all haste despite the fact that he was confident that only a large bandaid or two was required.
Shizuo actually stayed with Izaya, which was a mindfuck in and of itself. Izaya was covered in steri-strips from the minor cuts, but his arm needed stitches, much to his dismay. When all was said and done, it was after ten at night.
"You know, for emergency services these folks are awfully slow..." Izaya mused, touching his face where one of the plastic shank cuts were visible and wincing.
"You should take those pain pills," Shizuo suggested.
"No way, I'm selling them to that nurse for cash or favors," Izaya laughed. Then he scoffed. "Pain pills? How weak. I'm invincible you see. I don't need such crutches."
"So if broke your arm you wouldn't cry?" Shizuo challenged.
"You know the answer to that because you've done it, stupid," Izaya laughed as a nurse came into the triage room with another wheelchair. "And you'd think they'd let perfectly capable patients walk their damn selves, huh?"
"Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen you cry..." Shizuo thought aloud.
"Because Orihara Izaya doesn't cry," Izaya assured him confidently, crossing his legs in the chair. "I don't think they'll let you back in on the unit this time of night..."
"That's alright, I'll be by tomorrow."
"Shizu-chan."
"Yeah?"
Izaya leaned forward with a serious expression on his face when they came to a stop at the 1E ward. The nurse was entering a security code and was fumbling for her ID badge. Izaya sighed. "This can't be just guilt."
Shizuo didn't reply.
Izaya smirked. "Fine. My move." He rose from the chair and put his face very close to Shizuo's, as if he were leaning in to whisper him a secret. But instead of a whisper, Izaya ran his lips along the lobe of Shizuo's ear, causing them to burn and the hairs on the back of Shizuo's neck to stand on end. "I regret nothing," he whispered, blowing on that reddened ear and touching his arm to find goosebumps. "And neither should you."
"There we go!" the nurse proclaimed as the door opened. Izaya took his seat back and smiled, waving as he was escorted back into the prison of the mental health community.
Shizuo stood there, dumbstruck. Izaya watched him stand there until the door was completely closed, now unable to feel his tangible connection to the outside world. It was almost like turning out a light, knowing the dark held things best left unspoken.
Shizuo was his light. Realizing that felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest, only to pound out a new hurt. Izaya ached to see Shizuo again, if only because he was the only strand he had left to hold onto from the real world outside these walls. It didn't have anything to do with sexual attraction (but it could easily veer that direction if allowed), it was simply a need to have personal freedom. The fact that Shizuo understood that fact and didn't take advantage of those simple human needs every day gave the man a new depth. One Izaya wanted to dive into.
As Izaya lay in that god-awful uncomfortable bed and listened to the laundry bang rhythmically through the wall, Shizuo was the one who graced his dreams. He was glad he had cheeked the Ambien, because he didn't dream on sleeping pills.
And Izaya wanted to dream. Dream of Shizuo and what he would do when he finally got out of here.
To dream of freedom...
Or just maybe to dream, just to know that reality was still in place...
To taste the reality of freedom and not this surreal prison that stank of self loathing.
He wondered if he were the dream, and the dream were the reality sometimes.
And was there really that big of a difference between the two?
