Group Chat: my husbands are assholes

Edge renamed the conversation "Jailbirds"

Edge: SO...Kris... Punk...

Punk: Oh boy...

Edge: About that one time you guys apparently went to jail together

Kristian: Oh thank god!

Kristian: I thought you were about to start interrogating us

Punk: I was this close to leaving this damn group chat forever

Edge: We'll save that for another day

Edge: For now we all want to know how the hell you ended up in jail. *Grabs popcorn*

Cena: *grabs popcorn*

Randy: *Pulls up chair*

Seth: *grabs ring pops*

Dean: *Grabs a Coke*

Roman: *snuggle up with blanket*

Christian: *puts on 3D glasses* *kick feet up*

Sheamus: *Recline in LazyBoy*

Edge: Alright! The gangs all here! Where's the story?

Punk: I hate all of you... so much.

Kristian: Well...One time me and Punk went out and he started arguing with this really sexist, racist homophobic guy and out of nowhere he screamed "the only straight I am I straight up, bitch" and then he clocked the guy in the face.

Kristian: and that's how punk and I went to jail and how I found out that he was bisexual.

Randy: ...I'm dating Punk shouldn't that have been your give away that he wasn't straight?

Kristian: Oh lmao dude this was clearly before you guys got together

Kristian: This was like two months into when i was dating him lol

Roman: ...how does Punk punching a guy in the face get both of you thrown in jail?

Punk: He was with his girlfriend and she tried to jump in on the fight...I don't remember much because I was busy fighting the racist asshole but I'm pretty sure Kristian speared the poor girl and then started to beat her ass...

Kristian: lol I beat the dog shit out of that bitch

Sheamus: That still doesn't explain how or why that got you thrown in jail.

Kristian: Property damage, assault and battery, and public disturbance. We were at a restaurant and I speared the girl through a table. I also broke her nose.

Punk: I think I may have broken the guys arm? But I don't remember much after he hit me on the head with a chair.

Cena: and you guys weren't suspended or fired over this because ?

Kristian: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Vince likes me

Cena: that has absolutely nothing to do with you guys not being suspended

Kristian: no but my brother probably does

Sheamus: Now I'm curious

Roman: Yeah, spill.

Kristian: let's just say that Vince owes my bro some favors

Randy: What the fuck type of favors would a muti-millionaire owe his employee?

Edge: He knows what he did.

Punk: Small mercies, ammirte?