Group Chat: my husbands are assholes
Edge renamed the conversation "Jailbirds"
Edge: SO...Kris... Punk...
Punk: Oh boy...
Edge: About that one time you guys apparently went to jail together
Kristian: Oh thank god!
Kristian: I thought you were about to start interrogating us
Punk: I was this close to leaving this damn group chat forever
Edge: We'll save that for another day
Edge: For now we all want to know how the hell you ended up in jail. *Grabs popcorn*
Cena: *grabs popcorn*
Randy: *Pulls up chair*
Seth: *grabs ring pops*
Dean: *Grabs a Coke*
Roman: *snuggle up with blanket*
Christian: *puts on 3D glasses* *kick feet up*
Sheamus: *Recline in LazyBoy*
Edge: Alright! The gangs all here! Where's the story?
Punk: I hate all of you... so much.
Kristian: Well...One time me and Punk went out and he started arguing with this really sexist, racist homophobic guy and out of nowhere he screamed "the only straight I am I straight up, bitch" and then he clocked the guy in the face.
Kristian: and that's how punk and I went to jail and how I found out that he was bisexual.
Randy: ...I'm dating Punk shouldn't that have been your give away that he wasn't straight?
Kristian: Oh lmao dude this was clearly before you guys got together
Kristian: This was like two months into when i was dating him lol
Roman: ...how does Punk punching a guy in the face get both of you thrown in jail?
Punk: He was with his girlfriend and she tried to jump in on the fight...I don't remember much because I was busy fighting the racist asshole but I'm pretty sure Kristian speared the poor girl and then started to beat her ass...
Kristian: lol I beat the dog shit out of that bitch
Sheamus: That still doesn't explain how or why that got you thrown in jail.
Kristian: Property damage, assault and battery, and public disturbance. We were at a restaurant and I speared the girl through a table. I also broke her nose.
Punk: I think I may have broken the guys arm? But I don't remember much after he hit me on the head with a chair.
Cena: and you guys weren't suspended or fired over this because ?
Kristian: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Vince likes me
Cena: that has absolutely nothing to do with you guys not being suspended
Kristian: no but my brother probably does
Sheamus: Now I'm curious
Roman: Yeah, spill.
Kristian: let's just say that Vince owes my bro some favors
Randy: What the fuck type of favors would a muti-millionaire owe his employee?
Edge: He knows what he did.
Punk: Small mercies, ammirte?
