Initially, this chapter was going to be Bella's first visit to the Cullen household, but after flipping through my remaining chapters that I had put aside, I chose to squeeze this one in first. I felt the feud between Bella and her mother hadn't been fully uncovered. Sorry for any confusion from the last chapter. Hopefully, all of that will be explained in the next chapter. For now, I hope you all enjoy this one!
Chapter 7: Forgiveness
I sat up in bad, feeling slightly anxious for the day to come. Since Charlie's Saturdays were typically spent watching television, or hunting with his comrades, I figured he wouldn't mind me running a small errand. I quickly brushed my teeth, put on whatever was in my wardrobe, and sprinted downstairs.
"Hey, dad?" I hollered from the kitchen.
"What is it?" he shouted.
"I'm just gonna run to the store and make a few other stops. Is there anything you need?"
"No. Thanks, though, Bells. I'm goin' out with the guys for some hunting today."
"Alright, then be safe." I warned him.
Phase one was clear. I had at least three hours to spare. I was going to talk to Carlisle and find out exactly what happened. I hopped in the truck and, just as I was about to turn the key, my phone's all too familiar default tone ring rattled my bag on the passenger's seat. I scrambled to answer it, and before flipping it open, read the caller ID. It was mom.
For a split second I thought about letting it go to voicemail but, after remembering what dad said, considered it might be best to just give her a chance.
"Hello?" I answered calmly.
"Bella?" I heard my mom ask from the other end. "I was just calling to make sure you're okay."
Everything fell silent for what seemed like hours, as her words lingered in my head.
"Yeah, I-I'm okay," I choked.
"I hadn't spoken to you in a while. I missed hearing your voice."
There was another awkward pause as I mulled over my response.
I settled on a simple, "I miss you." I fought the tears, and the lump in my throat, as I listened to the ring of those three words.
"I miss you too, honey. I heard you were in a car accident and I would've come to visit but, truth is, I was sick. I was in the hospital myself. I really wish I could've been there. Really, I do. Look, maybe we should talk. And I mean really talk about what went on before you left."
"I agree," I said, letting a single tear gently trickle down my cheek.
"I never meant to hurt you or make you feel alone. I was just going through a rough time."
"I know, mom. I know." At first I felt pity for her but, as the memories of that day crawled to the front of my mind, so did the hatred and the anger.
"You left me!" I cried.
"Bella, don't get mad at me. We've talked about this and if we're going to get through this god-damned mess then we can't stay mad at each other. I know I screwed up, but I'm trying to ask you for forgiveness."
I sat in muteness as I pictured the scenes of that day in my head. Mom had started drinking after dad left. She had quit her job and went into a spiraling depression. She would go out only to bars and such with her friends. She stayed this way until she met Phil, who she ran off with one night, leaving me alone for weeks.
As my steam blew off, I came to a conclusion. It was either forgive her, or stay haunted by the guilt, bad dreams, and motherless times of need. She was my mom and I had to forgive her.
"You know what?... I forgive you, mom." At this point, I was practically balling and looked a wreck. I awaited her response patiently and tried to picture her loving eyes. Thinking of her numerous good qualities would help me remember the good times we shared.
"Thank you."
"Do you forgive me for being such a bitchy teenager?" I giggled. I heard her soft laughter and smiled. That was the first time I had heard her laugh in a long time.
"Of course I forgive you, Bella."
"Maybe when you're feeling better, I will come and spend time with you, and make sure Phil's doing his job," I laughed. "Just promise me you'll quit the drinking. You were always so much sweeter before Jack Daniels moved in."
"I promise," she whispered.
After saying our goodbyes, I plopped my phone back in my bag and started the car. Now that I had made up with mom, I was rewarded with the confidence I needed to consult with Carlisle.
