Chapter Seven

When Miranda first woke up, it was only for a few seconds. There was a dull pain in her skull and she could feel her limbs cramping up with sharp jolts that cut through the fog, making her whimper against her will. That also made her realize her throat was sore and even her lips were hurting. The world was a swaying, swinging blur. She realized she was having a seizure and promptly passed out.

The next time she could keep her eyes open long enough to focus on the shapes above her. She was looking for one face only and as soon as she recognized Oriana and saw that she was upright and seemingly unharmed, she let go. She let the void pull her back in and didn't care if she ever surfaced.

Eventually she did, though, and she found herself in a proper hospital on a proper bed. It was one of those long recovery wards with rows of beds along the walls, separated by curtains if the patient needed privacy. War always recreated these places and the people in them throughout history.

It also told her that she was probably gonna be fine, at least physically. She also didn't get special treatment, wasn't whisked off to either a private clinic, a hideout or a more spartan hospital for wanted fugitives. No guards at her bed.

Her skull was still throbbing, the light hurt her eyes, the world came in and out of focus and it felt like she was on a gently rocking boat. She already started to assess her situation, but it was hard to concentrate and organize her thoughts, which was probably for the better. She felt the IV in her arm and the tube in her nose, felt her hands and feet, but mostly she was very thirsty.

She heard movement and suddenly a bright spot was blocking her view. A few blinks later she could make out the details of Oriana's face, which made her sigh and try to smile. It was not as easy with parched lips.

"Hey," Oriana said softly, returning her smile. Miranda tried to say something but her sister lifted up a warning finger and shook her head. "Don't try to speak yet… we'll have enough time," she whispered, leaning close and adjusting Miranda's hair. She could feel the bandage on her head.

"Does it hurt anywhere…? Besides the obvious…?" Oriana asked.

Miranda slowly closed her eyes, trying to feel her body. She had a headache, but otherwise the worst she felt was the soreness from bruises and lying in bed for too long.

"No," she shook her head very carefully, grimacing slightly, her voice hoarse and strange.

"Good," Oriana said and she began to adjust her pillows, propping her up a bit higher and reached for a canteen with a straw and held it up for her. "Drink. Just slowly."

Miranda kept her eyes on Oriana like she was the strangest creature she ever saw, or maybe afraid that if she looked away, she would be gone. She managed to find the straw and took a few careful sips before she fell back into the pillows, exhausted.

"We are in the Recovery Ward of the Royal Marsden Hospital, in Sutton. That's South of London," Oriana explained, watching her closely, the canteen hovering nearby so Miranda could take an occasional sip as she listened. "It's been five days. You were dehydrated and had some infected cuts and bruises. And a nasty concussion. Do you remember what happened?"

Miranda blinked, nodding slowly. She had a vague memory of the battle and the explosion, but it got murky afterwards. She couldn't tell what was real and what she was dreaming after that. Did she really have a talk with Jack—?

She felt awkward about that and glanced around quickly, but nobody else was there with them.

"We wanted to blow up a hotel—" she frowned, trying to remember. "I can't remember much— And then Jack was there…?" she added uncertainly, looked around again, secretly hoping that the biotic would be around.

"Yes. Yes. She found you." Oriana nodded, smiling. It looked like she also caught her sister's hopeful glance. "She's fine, too. She's out there with her students, helping the relief efforts."

Miranda drank from the canteen again, sinking back into the pillows with a sigh. She was about to speak but Oriana was quick to catch the gesture again, and of course anticipate her reaction.

"It's okay," she rested a warm hand on Miranda's shoulder. It felt warm and made her relax. "You blew up the hotel. It's normal that you don't remember."

Miranda of course knew that, but it was very different and unnerving to go through it herself.

"H-how––?"

"Oh, yes," Oriana nodded, putting the canteen aside and settling in on the side of the bed. She took Miranda's hand. "We evacuated to Lunar orbit. It shielded us from—well, whatever the Crucible did. I know I should have waited a bit more, but I just couldn't...I took a shuttle and went to Jack as soon as it was possible. It took some convincing. She was reluctant to leave her students."

Oriana was not good at… obfuscating the truth, Miranda thought. She could tell this was not the whole reason Jack was reluctant. She could also guess what was she leaving out. Still, she couldn't be bothered to get upset about it, and not just because of the medication.

"We tracked your flight history until the crash," Oriana continued. "And then we found out who were deployed in that zone. We eventually found the 82nd, and they told us what happened. Most of them made it out, except your team," she fell quiet and let out a sigh. "It was already getting late. I'm sorry we couldn't get to you earlier."

Miranda shook her head. She opened her mouth, but Oriana was faster again.

"I know, Randa. I know. You didn't want me to look for you. I remember." She glared at her sister, but there was no real defiance in that look. Maybe just a bit disapproval as she squeezed Miranda's hand. "It wasn't me, anyway. When we got here, the field hospital was at a football pitch. I was sure that one way or another, I'll find you there."

"I'm sorry, Ori," Miranda whispered, her voice slowly returning.

"No. I'm sorry. I was this close to give up. But apparently, Jack wasn't." Oriana chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Boy, opposites attract, don't they?" she smiled warmly at Miranda, and quickly continued before her sister could protest. "I mean, I thought she gave up, too. But apparently, a few of the 82nd went back to find their captain. They did, and brought him back to the hospital. He didn't make it in the end.

"I ran into them outside the hospital a few hours later. Apparently Jack stole their jeep. They freaked out a bit at first, because they thought I was you. I don't know where everybody gets that," she chuckled again, shooting Miranda a mischievous glance. "We don't look exactly the same!" She paused. ""I am not that old."

Miranda smiled and nodded, but she felt her throat tighten. She hoped Oriana wouldn't draw the conclusions right here and now, because she was just too tired to handle it.

"Anyway, we figured out that Jack went out there to find you, and I was left here to worry about her, too. I didn't know when she would return… if at all," she rolled her eyes and fell quiet. Getting more serious she shook her head. "I mean, I only met Jack briefly, but if she would die out there looking for you… I felt really bad about it. You told me not to look for you, and now I managed to get Jack out there alone, too. I'm sorry, sis…"

"Don't—" Miranda whispered, trying to squeeze her hand. She slowly felt her strength returning, and the dizziness and headache fading, but the painkillers were still making her groggy. She hated those damn drugs, how they impaired her thinking and prevented her from easing Oriana's mind.

"Yeah, but I did, for selfish reasons" Oriana said with a sigh. She paused, absently brushing Miranda's hair from her forehead. "So I went back into the field hospital and put my first aid training to use. It took my mind off of things."

"That's good."

"Well, it didn't last long. I was ready to pass out on a bench somewhere, when Jack's students appeared. It turned out that they hitched a ride on a transport and came here to help. They found me through the 82nd."

Oriana chuckled. "They must have been thinking that you are some sort of dignitary or the President of Earth or something, what with all the people looking for you."

Miranda nodded, forcing a tired smile on her face. Their eyes met and she could see the flash of seriousness in Oriana's eyes. Miranda had to tell her what she did working for Cerberus and why other people might be looking for her. They never really had too much time to talk the whole thing over. Explaining everything before Oriana was born up until they finally met on Illium is not something you do over coffee or a nice lunch. They both knew they had to be careful and obfuscate the truth if not outright lie about Miranda.

There will be awkward conversations later with a few people.

"So anyway," Oriana continued after a long beat, brushing off the darker thoughts for now. "We had a big talk. The kids wanted to go after Jack. The guys from 82nd and even me had to talk them down. It was very intense. I mean, the things they said about the streets—" Oriana shuddered. "It was hard trying to convince them to stay put, when everything the guys said just wanted to make me go out there and find you.

"We sorted it out eventually. The guys from the 82nd were very helpful. They helped us arrange Jack's squad to be reassigned from the 103rd Marines to the rescue effort. They had to be clever about it because neither Jack, nor the kids were acting under orders. Red tape, you know.

"After a few hours they were set up to go out with the first rescue and recovery teams in the morning. Coincidentally in the same sector you went missing."

Miranda listened quietly, her thoughts drifting lazily on the mind-numbing drugs. She was getting exhausted just from listening and keeping her eyes open. The only thing she tried to make a mental note of, and hoped she would remember it later, that it was quite a bit of a stir that the biotic students and the 82nd created, which was bound to raise some questions later. She needs to be prepared.

"Prangley said that they met a sniper scout who saw Jack the other night and pointed them in the right direction." Miranda raised an eyebrow. Prangley was one of Jack's students. Oriana mentioning the kid by name— "Yeah. I think he has a crush on me," Oriana laughed, once again reading Miranda's thoughts. It was disconcerting, how easily she picked up on these nuances. It was just the drugs, Miranda told herself.

"Well anyway, he said they found a group of trees in a park that were bent out of shape and curled towards a Dragon's Teeth that was stuck in the ground. That's how they knew that Jack went that way the night before," she chuckled, her expression quickly turning grim. "Jack told me about it. It must have been horrible."

"I don't remember much," Miranda shrugged. It was not completely true, but she hoped that Oriana would miss the clues and chalk up her grimace to her exhaustion.

She did remember a lot of it. She remembered waking up to already gripping the tip in her hands and felt the pressure on her stomach. She must have been in shock from the detonation when her body automatically reacted to the movement of the Dragon's Teeth.

She remembered holding it for a long, long time, her hands slowly getting slippery, the pressure randomly easing up when the spike moved a bit, pushing away the smaller bits of rubble. She remembered the cramp traveling down her arms, starting from her shoulders and ending with her wrists in pain.

She remembered the fits of sobs from the exhaustion and the mind-numbing pain in her muscles. She lost track of time, her whole attention focused on holding that damn thing back and fighting the pain both in her arms and her legs, pinned under the rubble. She even missed when it got dark around her. It was a long, dull blur, the world reduced to that stretch of metal pointing at her torso.

She wanted to give up. She wanted to let go and get it over with. She screamed. She sobbed. When the rain started to fall and it got slippery, she even loosened her grip on it. In the end she couldn't do it. She didn't want to end up as a husk. Not like those abominations—

"...Randa? Miranda?! Stay with me!" Oriana's voice came muffled at first, everything had a red hue and it was all foggy. Oriana was leaning over her, patting her cheek, checking her IV fluid, feeling her pulse.

The world came back, sights and sounds returning to normal.

"You had a seizure," Oriana said quietly, checking her pupils. "It happened a few times already while you were unconscious. It will go away eventually."

She sounded confident, reassuring. Miranda wanted to believe her, but she knew it was not just a seizure. It was a panic attack and she was too weak to keep it under control.

"I'm better now," she croaked and glanced at the canteen. Oriana quickly grabbed it and held it for her to drink.

"It'll be fine," Oriana nodded, convincing herself, too. "I'll cut it short, then. I'm sure Jack will tell it to you all in gory detail." She chuckled. "By the way, we'll have to talk about her, and your silly arrangement, too."

"Oriana—" Miranda sighed, trying to lift a hand and shake her head.

"I'll let it go… for now," she smiled before continuing. "The point is that they heard gunshots coming from the hotel across the park and saw the building collapse. They found you guys fast enough—You will hear this part over and over again in the foreseeable future, believe me. Apparently it was very… dramatic.

"They moved the rubble and found Jack holding you in her arms, like you were just cuddling and sleeping. The biotic bubble lasted long enough so it didn't crush you guys, but you were running out of air. Prangley said it was the most touching thing he ever saw. He likes to ramble on, going into every detail—" Oriana chuckled, then quickly cleared her throat. "Anyway. She held you, you were there, and when they pulled you out, she wouldn't let go. She woke up and almost attacked everybody, trying to protect you. They almost needed to sedate her so they could get you guys out of there.

"She only let go when you were on the stretcher and the trauma team stabilized you." Oriana paused again. "I wish I was there. It must have been quite a sight…"

Oriana stopped, twisting her torso as she sat on the bed and nodded to the next one. "Then Jack passed out, too, but she only needed to get her wounds treated and sleep it off, right there. She was up the next day. She leads her own mixed recovery team now. But she comes in after her shift and sleeps here on the chairs."

Miranda exhaled slowly, not even realizing she held her breath a little. She remembered lying in Jack's arms, cold and utterly exhausted. She might have cried, too… was there some kissing? Why did she remember Jack kissing her? Or was it just a feverish dream? She absently lifted a hand to touch her lips, only realizing what she was doing when Oriana tilted her head and flashed her one of her smiles that could melt ice.

"I see," she said, her voice sounding much more like her old self. She pulled herself together a bit, adjusting her blanket. Judging by the light, it was probably late afternoon, Jack and her team still out on the field. "And you…? How about you?"

"Oh, I volunteer here at the hospital for a few hours every day," Oriana shrugged, looking around the quiet hall. There were whispered discussions between a few patients, some had visitors, others lay quiet, staring at the ceiling with an empty gaze, or sleeping on painkillers. "I bunked in with Jack's team, but when I'm off-duty, I'm usually around here. Oh, and I might get another job, too!"

Her mood was contagious, and Miranda found herself smiling again.

"What is it?"

"Well, I helped out a bit with finding shelters for the civilians and the military personnel. I told them I studied colonial development at the uni. They liked it and I might get to deal with resettlement and all the arrangements." Oriana was in her element, waving her hand eagerly. Miranda nodded to herself. It made sense to utilize her skills like this. It was smart, and safe, and she would be good at it.

"You would be good at it," Miranda said out loud.

"I know," Oriana smiled, adjusting the blankets and pillows absently. She let Miranda drink a few more gulps of water before taking the canteen away. "And you just take it easy, okay? Don't drink much."

"Five days?" Miranda asked sleepily, thinking back to what Oriana said earlier.

"The doctors said it would take weeks before you would be strong enough," Oriana said with a smug grin. "He doesn't know who he's dealing with."

Miranda sighed and nodded with an exhausted smile. She has to take care to wipe the medical records from the system. But not now. Now she needed to sleep.

When she opened her eyes it was already dark. It felt like only a moment has passed, and poof! Oriana was gone, and she felt a pang of loss. The pale LED lights casting the room in a ghastly, unnatural dimness made her uneasy. Everything was quiet, and as she looked around, she didn't see any visitors or nurses moving around. It was late, and she was fully awake. It was going to be a long night.

She reached out for the canteen, strong enough to hold it and considerably less shaky than before. It never felt so good to drink water before. She let out a soft sigh as her mouth suddenly felt a part of her body again, and the relief spread through her chest and limbs.

It also made something growl and spring up next to her.

"Sonuvabitch," Jack snorted, half-awake, one hand already in the air, biotic energy glowing around her fist as she looked around to punch whoever woke her up.

Even Miranda jumped a bit. Somehow she missed the tattooed woman sleeping in a lounge seat next to her bed. It was easy to miss her, as she already half slid out of the chair, where she fell asleep.

Jack crawled back up into the seat and blinked aggressively. She turned her eyes towards Miranda, who was still clutching the canteen in her hand, looking at her with eyebrows raised.

"Oh," Jack muttered, sniffing, focusing on her. "Hey," she added almost sulkingly.

Miranda's expression softened and managed a weak smile. She could have sworn that Jack looked stricken, her dark eyes wide as she looked over her, like she saw something impossible happen. The biotic fidgeted with the bedsheets absently, looking like she was about to say something but not daring to speak, worried that the illusion might break.

"Hi," Miranda whispered, gripping the canteen awkwardly. She felt her pulse rising and her ears burning a bit as she tried to stay collected and not blurt out everything at once. It was unnerving, how Jack kept staring at her. Miranda swallowed. "Thank you for–"

She could not finish. Jack was already leaping forward, lifting a hand around Miranda's head, fingers wrapping around the nape of her neck and kissing her desperately. For a few seconds, Miranda was so taken aback by the intensity that she forgot to breathe. She saw Jack close her eyes and feel her long, shuddering exhale as their lips met. It felt like an enormous tension just discharged and evaporated, all coming down to a thirsty, needy mashing of lips.

Jack was tasting her and she quickly recovered, lifting a trembling hand to the tattooed biotic's half-shaven head. They held onto each other for a long time, breathing heavily through their noses, tasting salt on each other's lips. They weren't sure whose tears.

Miranda ran out of breath faster, pulling away reluctantly, taking slow, deep breaths. Jack pulled back, licking her lips with a smirk.

"It's over," Miranda whispered.

"The drinks are on you, though," Jack said.

"Drinks are on me," Miranda agreed.

Their moment didn't last longer, though, both looked away and collected themselves.

"If you breathe one word about this to anyone–" Jack said, shooting Miranda a warning glance.

"Oh, shut up, psycho."

Miranda tilted her head and tapped the bed right next to her. Jack grinned and crawled over there, shuffling until Miranda was leaning on her shoulder and Jack had her arms around her.

A comfortable silence stretched between them, their fingers intertwined, both watching their hands absently.

"Did we really talk about Oriana… Back there?" Miranda asked quietly after a long while.

"Don't worry about it."

"I don't remember everything. What–?"

"I said, don't worry about it," Jack muttered, squeezing her shoulders. "There'll be plenty of time."

Miranda turned her head and pulled away a bit, looking at Jack curiously.

"There will be?" she asked, almost amused.

Jack let out a frustrated sigh.

"I've been thinking, okay? Your little sister has been nagging me, the little shit," Jack said with a snort. "She gets under your skin, that one."

Miranda pursed her lips.

"Fair enough," she conceded. She was too tired to take issue with Jack's words. She was right about Oriana, though. "Listen–"

"I mean, maybe we were wrong about this keeping the distance thing," Jack blurted out before Miranda could continue.

"That's what I–"

"And to be fucking honest, this whole 'not getting attached' bullshit is… I don't know, man. I guess it was already too late for that."

"Jack–"

"It gives you something to fight for, you know? Something to get you through the night."

"Jack!" Miranda raised her voice, which sounded much louder than she intended in the quiet of the hospital room. They both fell silent and stared at each other.

Miranda lifted a hand and gently put two fingers on Jack's blood red lips.

"I've been alone all my life, Jack," she said, almost pleading. "With my father. And when I got Oriana away… Even at Cerberus, you know. Sure, I had partners and a crew, but…" Miranda shrugged and smiled apologetically, cupping Jack's cheeks now that she had her attention. "They were not my peers."

"We've never talked about this, Jack. I mean, we really went out of our way not to." She shook her head. "The first time I felt I belonged to something good. Something bigger… it was on the Normandy. And the first time I really felt I was with somebody who was just as messed up as me…" she didn't need to finish. It was in her eyes.

Miranda sighed, leaning her head on Jack's shoulder, exhausted.

"I'm tired of being alone, Jack."

Jack stared at her frozen, at a loss for words. She forgot to even breathe. Miranda suddenly felt small in her arms and she had to wrap her arm tighter around her shoulder just to make sure she's still there.

Oh, sure, she knew loneliness. She knew it most of her life. But ever since getting a teacher's job at Grissom–

"Well, uh, okay. I mean, sure," she mumbled, feeling Miranda squeeze her other hand. "Maybe we should try this staying together shit."

"I would like that, Jack."

Jack sighed. Her head was suddenly full of questions, doubts, a lot of uncomfortable thoughts.

"But if you think I would tone down and be tame and shit," she mumbled, although she already knew it was an empty threat. She had her students now and they were already ruining her street cred. "I mean, don't expect me not to fuck up and say shit…"

Miranda leaned closer and pecked a soft kiss on the corner of her lips before slipping back and resting her head on Jack's shoulder. She nestled in and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting out a soft sigh.

"I don't give a flying fuck about that, Jack," she whispered with a soft smile.

Jack grinned and held her until they both fell asleep.