x.x.x
He swore as he sat up in his bed, felt around.. The dream again, it'd been real, he fooled himself for a moment into thinking she was lying there in his arms again. Getting up, he stretched and walked out onto his own terrace, letting the cool night air hit his skin, the rain falling down.
"I gotta stop this."
He heard humming from Seth's terrace and looked over, saw her sitting on the lounge chair, her headphones in, singing along to a song as she stared intently at the ocean.
Even though they'd been through so much together, both times, they still managed to be so dam in sync they found themselves in the same place at the same time a lot of the time, or they had been the past few days that they'd been back here in Florida. He tossed a tennis ball he kept around to ease boredom at the terrace she sat on and then hissed quietly, "Ky?"
"What?"
"You can't sleep either?"
"No, I can't. I want to, I just can't. I've always been a night owl, Jon, you know this." Kylie said as she walked cautiously over to the part of her brother's terrace that was closest to where he stood and scooted over the railing, stepping onto his terrace as she said quietly, "I was.. Nevermind."
"What?"
"I was thinkin.. Actually, I was reminding myself how it'd never work for us, how we'd only hurt each other again if we were anything beyond friends. "
He looked at her and then migrating closer to block the wind, out of habit, when she said that and he nodded then said quietly, "Doesn't have to be that way. But ya right.. We need to do this right. Kinda completely fucked up the first two times."
"We didn't completely fuck them up, Jon, we just.."
"We did." he muttered as he held his index finger over her soft full lips, still migrating closer to her, even as he tried his best to remind himself that he'd decided he was not going to rush her this time, that this time, he had no intentions of letting go, that this time, everything they ever promised one another was going to happen. This time, there would be no next time, because he was going to make her his, keep her for the rest of his life, do his best to take care of her, love her, treat her how he should have when he had her then.
Kylie grumbled as she realized they were standing chest to chest, and she was starting to lean on him.. She knew this was not a good idea, they'd both agreed to take things slow, friends first, everything else in good time, but parts of her just had this feeling..
They belonged together.
"To hell with it." he grumbled as he leaned down, pulled her into a passionate and rough kiss, nipping at her lip, lifting her off the ground, moving to sit her on the little table on his terrace as he kept the kiss going, not giving her a chance to break the kiss or realize what was happening. When something feels right, it feels right, and he was starting to question himself, wonder if he had the willpower to take things slowly.
The kiss broke and she bit her lower lip as she said "We can't keep doing that or this, with us, will never work." and looked up at him, sighing as she added quietly, "But I just.. I keep wondering if maybe we'd be okay this time.. I'm so damn confused right now."
"Me too.. Wanna come in for a beer?"
"Probably not a good idea."
"Probably not.. I'll go grab two, come back." he said as he jogged into his apartment grabbed two beers and then back out, handing her one as he sat down in the same lounge chair she was sitting in, behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder.
"Sorry."
"It's okay, Jon, I wanted you to kiss me, I just.. I know if we keep going like this, we're only going to wind up right back in the same shape we were in before.. And damn it, I want this to work.. I want you to be the last guy I ever kiss?" she blurted, raking her hand through her hair as she said "Crap.. I just ended this.."
He shook his head and said "No, ya didn't."
"But every time I said something like that before, ya got that deer in the headlights look, Jon and started to push me away."
He turned her around, trying to ignore that in doing this, she was now in his lap, as he said "Not this time, Kylie. I'm not gonna lie. I want ya.. I didn't know how much or just how much I loved ya until I lost ya that last time and ya didn't come right back."
"It almost killed me. I wanted to come back, I just.. I had to be alone.. Had to at least see if I could break the hold you had on my heart.."
"Well?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" Kylie asked as she looked at him, then darted her eyes around the surrounding area.. The look in his eyes had her knees weak and if she really looked at him too much right now, she knew she'd make a mistake and rush into this too soon and she wanted this to be right this time.
According to him, he did too.
