"Fine if that's what you want." He said leaning back against the pillar. "I apologize greatly for my behavior just now." He said quickly and irritably. "Now can I go?" he asked as if he had hashed out all of the problems she had with him. Since when did these topics become problems? She didn't know, but if he didn't play nice, they weren't exactly blessings. This time it was her turn to drop her jaw even farther than she naturally did.
"You think I want you to apologize? For that?" she asked above the quiet of before. He threw his hands into the air as if to say he gave up. It was getting easier and easier to ignore her desire to touch him. "I want you to tell me why and how it could have even happened!" she practically yelled. His face showed offense at her comment.
"How?" he asked belligerently, "You come in here after me, after putting me through hell because you DIED, and you want to know how this happened?" he let out the rest of his air supply before spinning around and walking around her. She almost grabbed him again, but he wasn't finished. He turned to the corner and ran his hand down his face. She watched him slowly let his anger out in small ways. His face was red from being rubbed and his hair a mess from being pulled at. She didn't realize what all of this had meant to him. She thought that she knew what he was going through because she had heard his secret proclamation. She was so wrong.
"No…" she said quietly again. He turned around because of the change in attitude. "I want to know about the first time. When I was dead and you spoke over my body." She began, finally getting to what she had been trying to say. His expression didn't change. He didn't move or make a sound. He just froze. Was this one sentence too much for him? She wondered. After seeing him in so many dangerous situations, she had never seen him freeze completely before.
"Do you understand now?" she asked trying to use her kindest voice. It was not hard to break a mind in his state.
"But you-" he tried to say but couldn't finished. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak again. "But you were DEAD." He said as if she had forgotten. She smiled up at him.
"Maybe." She mused. "If death is being able to hear and feel everything around you, but not being able to do anything else," she paused and looked up, thinking. "Then yes. I supposed you could say I was dead."
"But your heart had stopped and you weren't breathing. There was no pulse," he continued, going over the details. She nodded along and waited for him to catch up.
"Yes, I felt it; my heart stopping that is." His face went from confusion to concern."And yes, it was very painful." She closed the space between the two of them. "But what was more painful was hearing people speak over me as if I was already buried. They cried and how I wished I could join them." She raised her hand to him and he didn't shy away. "But with you, Huntsman, I felt so much pain." Now he seemed as if he was the one in pain. She ran her pointer finger down across his cheek one and down his jaw line. "The words you spoke were to me, not about me." She continued, "You didn't hesitate and even if it was the product of drowning your sorrows with mead, you spoke to me. Ever since the village town, I knew that I trusted you, and more. I never felt anything but that though, from you and so that is why I am asking you now. Why would you say such things to me when your heart is occupied with so much more than me?" Her finger stopped in its track as she looked up at him and realized. Tears were coming down her cheeks. Smooth and clear like rain and she knew why. Every sad word, horrible thing, and tear that she had thought while dead was coming to her now. Every tear that she cried because of the people who spoke over her escaped her eyes at once. At long last she was able to look at her Huntsman and give him what he deserved; her raw, unchanged emotions. It was so beautiful she smiled. Maybe she wanted to know how he could say so much for her, but she also knew when to be quiet.
The Huntsman reached up and wrapped his hand around hers and then with his other hand he wiped away the tears from her eyes. He smiled as well as he looked down to her. She hoped that he didn't feel overwhelmed, but with this gesture of kindness, she knew that he would be fine. There was no doubt in her mind that once again they would have to talk about her death, but that time was not now. That time was sometime both very near and far. Before Spring but after Winter. Somewhere in the in between would they be able to be just as forthcoming as is needed.
"Don't you already know the answer?" He asked, quietly again. He took her hand and pulled her to him. He wrapped her in a tight embrace and she was filled with a different kind of warmth. Different than the heat of earlier, and much different from the cold she would never forget. She was filled with the love that she knew was meant for two people, but only had one place to go. That was the Huntsman's secret. The him that he never cared for wasn't him. It was what the war had made him into. The Huntsman that he was when he spoke of his wife's love for him, when he spoke over Snow's cold dead body, when he held her now—that was the real Huntsman.
OK, so I'm not sure if I should continue on through the battle and then have this be a full blown story with them struggling to be accepted as a couple when she becomes queen. IDK but if just one person wants me to write more than I shall.
I really hope you liked the last chapter. I fell like it was rushed and confusing, but hey I'm tired. Please tell me what you thought!
