Clarke blew out a breath and tried to pull herself together. She hadn't been expecting this phone call. Especially not when she was with Bellamy. Not in what seemed like the perfect moment they were sharing, "I don't want to talk to you."

She heard her former friend sigh, "but I need to talk to you. I'm sorry, you never came home when I was here. All I've wanted to do is apologize. You're my friend and I had no right to hurt you or embarrass you like that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it."

"I was your friend," Clarke felt her stomach fall as she imagined Lexa's face falling. She wanted to believe they were still friends, but that was part of the pain, "we're not friends anymore, Lexa. Not after you drugged me."

She let out a sigh and shook her head. Lexa's voice broke, "you went into hiding I couldn't find you. I wanted to do this in person, but when I called your mom she didn't know you left."

Great. Now her mom would be calling her. She hated Lexa even more for getting her mom involved in something she was still dealing with. She bit her lip hard, trying not to cry as she sat there. She didn't want to screw up this first date since it all fell apart. But she was having a hard time holding herself together.

Lexa couldn't have picked a better time to pop back into her life.

Clarke closed her eyes and squeezed them tight. She let out a breath, feeling the pain come back, "Lexa please. If you're really sorry than you'll leave me alone. You did this, you ended our friendship. You don't get a right to miss me."

"Clarke please," her voice cut off because the phone was ripped away from her ear. She opened her eyes and Bellamy was staring at her hard, pressing the thing up to his ear.

She watched as he practically growled the words at her, "listen you're going to leave Clarke alone. Or you'll have to deal with me and we both don't want that to happen. My mom always told me never hit a woman. But I'll make an exception this once, if it means protecting Clarke."

He was quiet as Lexa spoke, his eyes didn't give her anything. She had no idea what he was thinking or what she was saying. He seemed to relax a little as he listened to her and then he blew out a breath.

"You can lose her number and forget all about her. Because if you try to see her, call her, or find her you'll reach me instead," he laughed, "who the hell am I? I'm your worst nightmare."

Clarke smiled, she didn't need him to protect her. But he was being big brother Bellamy. He was looking out for her the way he did for Octavia even when she still felt like he was still on the fence about the two of them. She was glad Lexa hadn't caught her off guard like this when she was alone. She was pretty sure she would've broken down completely again. The panic attack to end all panic attacks.

He ended the phone call and she looked at him, "you didn't have to do that," she was quiet as she turned it off. She didn't need her mother interrupting their night either, "but thank you."

He nodded and watched as she wiped away another tear. She was quiet as she looked down at her half finished drawing, wondering if she could find that place again. As beautiful as this place was, she didn't feel that excitement she had pulling up. She felt it vanish when Lexa spoke into her ear.

Clarke kept staring at the water, "Lexa never once pressured me into her life. We were friends, but if I didn't want to party she would go without me. She told me to get you out of my life I had to get rid of everything we shared. I burned the pictures," Clarke's voice broke, "but I kept the shirt. When she drugged me, I never wanted to go back. I wouldn't have gotten my stuff, I can afford to start over. But I wanted the last thing I had left of you."

His eyes were bright, "she asked if I was him. As if I was the bad guy in this situation. She said she should've known you'd run home to me. I was the reason this happened," Clarke looked up with more tears in her eyes, "I don't know why someone who calls themselves your friend would ever want to hurt you like this. But you don't have to do it alone anymore. I might have been an asshole these last few days, but I'm here for you Clarke."

She smiled smiled, wiping away a few tears, "if you weren't here I would've had a panic attack. I hate them, but they come with the pain and missing memories."

He was quiet beside her, and slowly she felt him pick up her hand, "I'm sorry Clarke. I'm sorry that this is what had to happen for us to get our second chance."

She sighed, realizing how amazing that sounded. Even if she couldn't piece it back together, she had still found her way back to him. She gave him a forced smile and he pulled his hand back. Their moment was over, the spell was broken. Her heart sank as he looked away at the water.

"So," Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, "I thought I'd uh, help you out. I mean, you know make you feel safer."

She laughed through the tears, "I thought the pain was getting easier to bare. With Octavia and you I don't feel like I'm suffocating as much. Apparently I only fall apart in front of you. I'm sorry, this was supposed to be fun. And I'm crying."

Bellamy shrugged, he didn't care that she was crying. Well he did care but that didn't make this date any less special. He knew she was still fragile, even if she wouldn't admit it. That's why he took her phone and told that bitch to leave her alone. Even if they weren't together, which he really wanted to change, he would protect her. He would make sure she felt safe no matter where she was.

He could kick himself for not being there to protect her. If he hadn't been so stubborn she might have been on the phone with him or hell maybe he would've went up for a visit. But instead he gave her radio silence and forced her into a friendship that ruined her strength.

Bellamy bit the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit she always scolded him for, "ever since we were born crying was a sign that we were alive," his voice was soft as he kept staring at her. She was surprised as he kept going, "crying isn't weakness, just like love isn't weakness. You trust me enough to be vulnerable Clarke. That's something you don't feel around everyone."

Clarke wiped away a tear. She knew he was right. She didn't want to admit how easy it was to trust him, even after years apart. She hated falling apart in front of other people, she always had. She couldn't even cry around her mother. But falling apart in front of Bellamy, who she was still so confused about, wasn't as hard as it was with everyone else.

She felt herself start to calm down, his warm hand on her shoulder was helping. She forced a smile, "you make it a little easier."

Bellamy couldn't help but smile back at her. He felt that tug in his heart again, "well I know you've always been strong and independent. You should be able to feel safe with yourself. Come here."

They both stood up and he offered her his hand. She felt him squeeze it gently and then they walked towards the trees. She couldn't believe how beautiful it was here. The sun shining off the lake, the trees swaying in the wind. It took her back to the days when they were happy and together. She felt homesick, but then she looked at Bellamy beside her and she felt it pass.

Clarke knew in that moment why Octavia couldn't promise her she would keep her from falling in love with him. Because the younger girl had known, even before she had been here an entire day, what Clarke tried so hide to bury deep down. She was still in love with Bellamy Blake. No matter what Lexa had tried to do to get him out of her life, off her mind, she held onto him. She held onto the way she felt whenever she was with him.

She couldn't help but wonder if he did the same. Now that they were alone on what she would classify as a date, she hoped he had been lying that first day. It felt like a lifetime ago when she sat in his car and he said they didn't have to pretend to be friends, he didn't hate her anymore. But he didn't love her either. She squeezed his hand this time, smiling as his beautiful eyes met hers.

Clarke felt like she could trust her gut instinct for the first time since last month. She never realized how much that tortured her, the same way her missing memories did. She hated questioning herself, but with Bellamy she didn't doubt the choices she made.

They walked away from the water, their steps slow, their fingers still laced together. Every so often Bellamy would squeeze her fingers and she could feel her heart stop hurting for a second. Bellamy caught her smiling as she watched their feet step together. He wanted to tell her how beautiful that smile was, but he didn't want her to run off from him just yet.

As they got further into the trees, Clarke could see a fence. Then as they got closer she could see tin cans sitting on top of it.

"What's this?" She asked quietly as he pulled his hand out of hers. She felt her heart sink as her hand fell back down beside her. He reached around his waist and pulled out something black.

She gasped as he offered her the gun. She pulled back and he sighed, "Clarke I know you've always been a healer. You're going to school to be a doctor. Excuse me you were," he cleared his throat, "but you need to be able to protect yourself, then you'll feel safe. Let me teach you to do that."

She sighed, "Bell. I've never handled a gun before," her hands were shaking as she stood there. She kept them at her sides, she was still scared of this thing.

"It's easy. Don't worry it won't bite you," he laughed as she rolled her eyes. Bellamy loved to get under her skin when they were getting along.

She bit her lip, she had no idea how sexy he found that simple gesture, "Bell," he groaned, he loved the way she called him that, "you're serious?"

He smiled and took a step forward, "turn to your side. Good line yourself up with one of the tins," she did as he told her to do, "alright now stand up straighter. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart."

She arched her back and parted her feet. She was more than aware of Bellamy's body behind hers. They both heard her gasp as he wrapped his arms around her body, placing the gun in her hand. He took her hands in between his big ones as she got familiar with the weight of the weapon.

"Line the gun up with the tin," his breath was hot in her air and she shivered. She looked at the tins and felt like the gun was pointed at the middle tin she was lined up with.

The wind picked up slightly, cooling her warm cheeks down. She let out a slow breath, feeling his fingers drag their way down her arm. She wanted to close her eyes and savor this moment. There were so many nights she had dreamed about this happening again. If she tried hard enough she could imagine his soft lips pressing against the curve of her neck. Her favorite spot.

After a moment Clarke pulled herself together and forced away the fantasies. It didn't help that he moved his left hand down and placed it against her stomach. They both paused, she felt his hand shaking before he pressed it against her body. They both felt the warmth from each other seeping into the other. Clarke heard him sigh and she wondered if he was as affected by this touch as she was. She tried to focus on the tin cans.

"Now breath in deeply and when you're ready, pull the trigger," he took a step back, the air clearing her head. She could think clearer at she brought both hands up and held the gun steady. She looked at the tin can in front of her and forgot all about her fantasies. She thought about the digesting pigs that touched her. She thought about Lexa and how she used her for her own amusement.

She counted to five in her head, and then she pulled the trigger.

The bullet went straight through the middle can. Clarke had to take a step back from the kick the gun sent through her. Once she regained her balance she realized the can had fallen. She threw her hands up, laughing as she saw Bellamy's smug smile, "I hit it!"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, she could feel her heart beat against her chest, and suddenly she couldn't think about anything but what it would feel like to press her lips against his. Bellamy took the gun from her and her arms fell down. She lost her chance, as he put it down on the grass.

She bit her lip, picking her head up to look at him once again. Her life might be falling apart, but there had been one thing she got right. Finding Bellamy Blake, being here with him made her mess feel somehow cleanable. She could see a future that wasn't hazy and filled with more questions rather than answers.

Bellamy was thinking the same thing, she just didn't know it. He couldn't stop thinking of all the time they had lost, all the tears he had shed for her. He missed her, he wanted to claim her once and for all. He wanted to stop dancing around his feelings. He never hated her, not for a single second.

"Bellamy," she said his name and he couldn't wait another moment.

Her blue eyes found his and she stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around her waist, smiling as he heard her gasp. She was surprised at how forward he was, and then he closed the gap between them. He pressed his mouth to hers and Clarke felt the world stop turning.

Watching him cry in the rearview mirror two years ago, Lexa, the event, everything that had happened up until this moment no longer mattered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer, kissing him harder. She couldn't believe how easy it was for them to fit back together again.

"Clarke," her name rolled off his tongue, "I've missed you."

She smiled, leaning her forehead against his the way she did when they first met, "yeah. I don't know how I survived these last few years."

He pulled her in tighter, and she could feel their need to be pressed together. She could feel his heart beating wildly under his shirt. She had missed his strong, warm arms. She had missed everything about him. He had been one missing piece she never thought she would see again.

But standing there in his arms she could feel her pieces slowly finding a new home. Maybe they wouldn't fit back into place perfectly, but life had a way of changing the course halfway through. She felt more like the girl he had known and less like the mess she had become. Somehow Bellamy made her believe she would heal, even if she never got the answers she so desperately needed.