CHAPTER SEVEN

The three musketeers are now sitting inside a restaurants discussing the sword. "So it's an average sword, has no special qualities, made by an average blacksmith, and has a stupid name. Who names a sword guilty thorn," Naruto said as he read the list Joe gave him. "Well I'm stabbing myself," he said as he raised the sword up and was about to stab himself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Asuna yelled as she grabbed Naruto's hand, that had the sword in it, and stopped him from him stabbing his chest.

"Well I'm obviously stabbing myself through the chest to see if it kills me," Naruto said.

"Are you that stupid?" she asked. "It already killed someone!"

"Your point being?" Naruto said as he tried to put the sword in his chest.

"You're impossible," she moaned out.

"Why thank you I try," he said as he ripped the sword out of her hand and plunged the sword into his chest. "See I'm perfectly fine," he said as the safe zone box popped up.

"Sadly," Asuna said. "Now the next question, how did that man die if he was in a safe zone?" she asked to the other two.

"Don't know don't care," Naruto said as he propped his feet up on the table.

"Maybe he was Houdini reincarnated," Kirito said seriously.

"I somehow doubt that," Naruto and Asuna said at the same time.

"Oh here comes our comes the person we're interrogating, I meant interviewing," Kirito said as a girl with long blue hair, blue eyes, freckles under her eyes, light blue armor that showed her shoulders but covered her neck, a white breastplate, and a sword holstered on a brown leather belt.

"Hello Yoko," Asuna said as Yoko sat down on the other side of the table.

"Hello Asuna," Yoko said grimly.

"Your Yolk friend sure is cheery," Naruto said.

"Her name is Yoko," Asuna said since Yoruko was too long.

"Coco," Naruto said.

"Y-O-K-O!" Asuna spelled out slowly.

"Oh, now I understand. Her name is Dovahkiin," Naruto said as he snapped his fingers in understanding.

"How the hell did you come up with that?!" Asuna said in frustration.

"I'm bad with names," Naruto said as he remembered what he name his dog, before a demon killed it. The dog's name was Dogmeat.

"I can tell," Asuna said before she turned back to Yoko and went into, what the men of the group dubbed, her serious mode. "Now Yoko, have you ever heard of a player named Grimrock?" she asked Yoko.

Yoko's eyes opened in surprise and she sat up a bit but then went back to looking gloomy. "Yes, he was a member of the guild that Kains and I were once in." she said. "But why would you need to know that?"

"When we checked out the sword that was stuck In Kain's chest we found that it belonged to a player named Grimrock," Kirito said.

Yoko's eyes widened and she put her hands over her mouth.

"Can you think of why he would do this?" Asuna asked.

"Yes, I can," Yoko said as she placed her hands down on the table and squeezed them together. "But before I tell you, you must know why the guild has an effect in what has happened," she said.

Not another sob story, not another sob story, not another sob story, Naruto repeated in his head with his fingers crossed behind his back.

"Our guild's name was Golden Apple. Six months ago, a rare monster we defeated dropped a powerful ring that raised agility by 20. We were divided on whether to use it for the guild, or sell it and split the earnings. But in the end, we put it by vote. The vote went 5-3 in favor of selling it. Our leader, Griselda, was going to stay overnight at a large town on the front lines, to give it to a broker. However, she never came back. Later, we learned that she'd died. I still don't know," Yoko explained what happened to the guild.

Damn it, was it too much to ask for a simple life filled with no sob stories, Naruto thought to himself as he zoned out on what Kirito and Asuna were saying.

"So it was probably one of the other seven members of the Golden Apple," Kirito said after thinking over it a bit.

Naruto saw the way her eyes moved to the side immediately, raising his suspicion.

"The most suspicious ones would be those who opposed selling it." Kirito said.

"So you mean to tell me that people that trusted each other well enough to form their own guild and have each other's backs when fighting monsters, would kill their leader over a ring that raises your agility by twenty," Naruto said and Kirito nodded. "Oh come on, I would understand if it raised your agility by sixty nine but this is just sad. No offense Coco," "Yoko," "What Asuna said, but your guild was probably filled with a bunch of sweaty nerds who play world of Warcraft constantly and will kill anyone and anything if it meant getting a good item or two," Naruto said and Yoko looked away and had tears starting to form in her eyes.

"OW!" Naruto yelled out when Asuna punched him on the arm, hard.

"You know, God gave you a nose so that if you can shut your mouth and still breathe," Asuna said. "Now Yoko, who was Grimrock?" she asked Yoko.

"He was Griselda's husband. Just within the game, naturally. Griselda was a powerful swordsman. Pretty and smart," Yoko said.

"Why can't you be like that Asuna?" Naruto yelled and Kirito had to hold down Asuna before she strangled Naruto to death.

"Grimrock was a kind man who was always smiling. They made a great couple, and they got along well. If he was the one responsible for yesterday's murder, he must be after the three who opposed selling the ring," Yoko said.

"Let me guess, you and Kain were two of the three who voted to not sell the ring," Naruto said.

"Is that true Yoko?" Asuna asked the girl.

"Yes," Yoko said.

"Then who's the other one?" Kirito asked.

"A tank named Schmidt. I heard he's on the front lines now, with the Holy Dragon Alliance," Yoko said.

"From one back stabbing guild to another, why am I not surprised," Naruto said as he remembered his encounter with that guild when he went to find the revival item.

"Isn't Schmidt that guy who leads the defense force and uses a giant lance," Kirito said.

"You know Schmidt. Can you let me talk to him?" Yoko asked.

"I don't know, can you?" Naruto said.

"May you let me talk to him?" Yoko said.

"I don't know, may you?" Naruto said and then immediately winced in pain when Asuna kicked his leg from under the table and gave him a death glare.

"We can get you to talk to Schmidt. I know someone at the Holy Dragon Alliance that can contact him," Asuna said.

"Okay, we'll go do that. Yoko don't leave the inn until we return," Kirito said.

"Okay," Yoko said and the three got out of their chairs and walked out the inn into the rain.

"I have to go check something. I might not be back for a while. Can you guys handle the rest of the investigation?" Kirito asked and they both looked at each other.

"You want me to work with him/her without tearing his/her head off. Not happening," Naruto and Asuna said at the same time. "Stop copying me!" they yelled. "Stop it! It's annoying!" they yelled at each other.

"See you guys are already great partners. So see you later," Kirito said as he pulled out a teleporting crystal and teleported away from them.

"That son of a bitch stole my idea," they both mumbled at the same time and then looked at each other.

"So if we're going to work together then I guess we're going to need to know each other," Asuna said as they walked to a bench and sat down. "My name is Asuna Yuuki. My likes are cooking, friends, the guild, and friends. My dislikes are the arrogant, the prideful, and white haired idiots who can't shut up. My goals are to leave this game and I don't really have a dream," she said.

"You wound me. Anyways, full name is Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze-Sparta, but I prefer Naruto Sparta. My likes are friends and killing wrongdoers. My dislikes are my family, this game, and my life in general. My goal is to find a certain friend of mine and beat him up and I don't believe in dreams," Naruto said.

"Why would you hate your family?" Asuna asked. "I know my family has problems but I don't hate them for it," she said.

"I'll tell you about it another day. Now should we go see this contact of yours?" Naruto asked.

"Sure, let's go," Asuna said as she pulled out a teleporting crystal and held on to his shoulder. Then they disappeared in a blue light.

(TIME SKIP)

Naruto now leaned on a wall while Asuna and Yoko were explaining the situation to Schmidt.

"Is it true that Kains was killed with Grimrock's weapon?" Schmidt asked as his body was shaking.

Yoko nodded her head. "It is," she said.

Schmidt stood up and raised his arms up. "Why would Kains be killed after all this time?! Did he steal the ring? Was he the one who killed Griselda? Does Grimrock plan to kill the three of us who opposed selling the ring? Is he after you and me, too?!" Schmidt said and then sat back down with his face in his hands.

"It could be another member, and Grimrock just made them the spear." Yoko said.

"It's a sword. That thing looks nothing like a spear," Naruto said.

"As I was saying. It may be Griselda's revenge…" Yoko said and two of the people looked at her in shock while the other one looked at her like she was crazy. "Only a ghost could kill someone inside a safe zone." She finished.

"Okay. Before you go into a long explanation of why this person can be a ghost let me say one thing. Anyone who believes what is coming next is the biggest idiom ever… Of all time," Naruto said. "Continue," he said.

Yoko stood up with her eyes wide. "I stayed up all last night, thinking. In the end, all of us were the ones who killed her! When that ring dropped, we shouldn't have ever voted. We should've just done what she wanted!" she yelled out and started stepping back towards the window. "Grimrock was the only one who said we should simply let Griselda decide. So he has the right to take revenge for Griselda on the rest of us." She said.

"You're kidding me. You're kidding me…" Schmidt said as he started shaking uncontrollably and put his face in his hands. "After all this time, six months. Why now? You're okay with this, Yoko? You're okay with being killed like this?" he asked.

Yoko's eyes widened and her pupils shrunk and she turned around showing the knife in her back and fell out the window. Naruto ran to the window and looked down. He saw Yoko fall down to the ground and as soon as she hit it her body exploded into a million shards.

"This is what happens when you act like a crazy bitch," Naruto said.

"Not the time, now go!" Asuna yelled as she pushed him out the window.

He turned his body and kicked off the wall while he fell. He then used his demonic hand to crawl up the building that he landed on. "Stupid bitch," Naruto mumbled to himself as he lifted himself onto the roof. Looking around he saw a hooded figure in a cloak start to run off. "Oh no you don't," he said as he jumped.

He jumped from roof to roof and once he caught up he started to run normally and then jumped to the other building that the figure was on. The figure took out a teleporting crystal from inside the cloak and Naruto jumped again to tackle the figure. But it was too late, the figure already teleported.

"Oh son of a bitch," he said as his momentum carried him off the roof and gravity pulled him down to the ground, hard. "Ugh, last time I try to act like Ezio from AC," he said as he dusted himself off. "I have to admit though, that chase looked pretty bad ass. Now back to Asuna," he said as he started to walk back to the building.

(SCENE CHANGE)

Naruto walked into the room. "What took you so long to get back here?" Asuna said.

"Well you see Asuna. After I fell off the building I started walking back here but I had to help an elderly lady who couldn't carry all of her groceries. After I helped her with that she asked me to get her cat down from the tree so I did that. But when I gave it back to her I realized that it was a black cat so I had to take the long way around here. Then I was met with a cross road and one said Asuna and one said life. I chose the life path and eventually got lost on the road of life," Naruto explained and was met with a fist to a face, causing him to fall down.

"It's not nice to make a lady wait," Asuna said.

"It's not nice to punch someone in the face either," Naruto said as he got up.

"Stop complaining. Now tell me did you get him?" Asuna asked.

"Maybe I did maybe I didn't," Naruto said.

"Just answer the damn question," Asuna said.

"No, he teleported away before I could tackle him like a professional NFL player," Naruto said.

"NFL?" Asuna asked.

"So American sport where two teams of big sweaty men tackle each other for a ball," Naruto explained.

"Weird," Asuna said.

"Tell me about it. I here that there have been deaths because of that sport, fans killing each other," Naruto said. "Now, how did Thomas die?" he asked.

"Yoko," Asuna corrected himself.

"Same thing," Naruto said.

"That robe was Griselda's. It was Griselda's ghost…" Schmidt said as his entire body was shaking. "She really has come to get revenge on all of us!" he said and continue to ramble on.

"You know I really should go," Naruto said as he opened the door but Asuna grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the room.

"I'm not dealing with this by myself," Asuna said.

"You owe me," Naruto said.

"I'll put that on the bottom of my list of priorities," Asuna said.

"Just to let you know, Schmidt, that wasn't a ghost. The two safe area murders have to work using some logic that involves the system," Naruto said.

"I-I got to go," Schmidt said as he jumped out of the seat and ran out the room.

(SCENE CHANGE)

Naruto and Asuna now sat on a park bench in the town square. "Was that black robed figure really the ghost of Griselda?" Asuna asked.

"Can't be, there are no such things as ghost. When someone dies two things happen to them. They become angels or demons. The latter kills the people of this realm and when they become a demon they look completely different than what they used to. The figure that killed Rob," "Yoko," "was to humanoid to be a demon," Naruto explained.

"How do you know if there are such things as demons and angels?" Asuna asked.

"I've killed demons, their blood is all over my hands," Naruto said.

"Prove it," Asuna said.

"Can't, there are no gates of hell in this digital world," Naruto said.

"When we get out of here you'll prove it," Asuna said.

"Whatever," Naruto said as he twirled the knife that killed Yoko in his hand and that sat there, awkwardly, for what seemed like forever but was only a few minutes.

"Here," Asuna said as she put her hand out and gave Naruto a purple package.

"You're giving it to me?" Naruto asked as he put the knife away.

"What else would I be doing?" Asuna asked. "Do you think I'm showing it off or something?" she said.

"U-Uh, thanks," Naruto said as he took the package. He then unfolded it and revealed a sandwich.

"Its durability is nearly at zero," Asuna said. "So you should probably eat it before it disappears," she said.

"Got it," Naruto said and lifted the sandwich to his face and took a huge bite out of it. He pulled the sandwich away from his face and looked down at it in aww. "T-This is the best thing I've ever tasted," Naruto said and then took more bites out of it. "Where did you get this from?" he asked.

"You do know I can cook, right?" Asuna said.

"That's stereotypical," Naruto said.

Asuna slammed her foot down and the sandwich slipped out of his hand and hit the ground, shattering into millions of triangles.

Naruto fell down on his knees and looked down at where the sandwich shattered for a bit.

"What's wrong?" Asuna asked and Naruto raised his hand up, telling her to be quiet.

"I've solved the mystery," Naruto said.

"What did you solve?" Asuna asked.

"We never saw a thing. We just thought we did. But we really saw something else. There never was a weapon or any kind of logic that would allow killing within the safe areas!" Naruto said.

"What do you mean?" Asuna asked.

"Can't you see, the people who have died had their armors at a low durability so that when anything hit it would explode. At the same time they would use a teleporting crystal so that it appeared as if they were dead," Naruto explained.

"So you're saying that Yoko and Kain are actually alive?" Asuna asked.

"Yes, Asuna check your friends list," Naruto said and Asuna opened up her menu and slid through the options and clicked on friends. She then scrolled down to the Y section and found Yoko. "Where is she?" he asked.

"Floor 19 at Cross Hill," Asuna said.

"Then that's where we go," Naruto said as he pulled out a teleporting crystal and grabbed Asuna's arm as he teleported away.

(SCENE CHANGE)

Naruto ran to the area that Asuna said Yoko was. "I have a bad feeling about this," Naruto said as he kept on running until he was in a clearing with dead trees all around him and one big dead tree in the middle with three cloaked figures holding weapons and Yoko, Schmidt, and Kain on the ground paralyzed.
The one he assumed was the lead raised his meat cleaver and brought it down towards Schmidt. Naruto pulled out the knife that "Killed" Yoko and through it at the meat cleaver, knocking it out of the leaders hand. All three cloaked figures jump back and raise their weapons, the leader pulls out a knife from his belt.

"A fight. I love a good fight, it makes life interesting," Naruto said as he pulled out his sword and charged forward. The leader and the goon holding the smaller knife charged together, activating their sword skills.

The goon holds the knife in reverse grip and attempted to stab Naruto in the neck, only for Naruto to roll under the knife and then crouched as he did a full clockwise slash at the leaders legs. The leader rolled back and avoided the sword, he then activated his skill and his knife glowed dark purple and he through it at Naruto.

Naruto front flips over the blade and landed on his feet. He then raised his sword so that it was behind him, this blocked the knife the goon was using. Naruto then sweeps his leg around and kicks the goon from the feet, sending him down on the ground. Naruto plunged his sword into the goon's chest and, leaving the sword in the chest, rolled to the right to avoid the meat cleaver that slashed at where he was.

Naruto pulled the Red Queen from his inventory and met the leader's meat cleaver and sparks exploded from the impact. Naruto then twisted his sword around the cleaver like a snake and with a snap disarmed the leader. The then back flipped back and landed by the dying goon. The leader crouched down and picked up the goon's knife and charged at Naruto, sword skill activated.

Naruto twisted the handle of Red Queen like a motorcycle and the blade seemed to turn orange like a meatal being melted by fire. The knife met the sword and Naruto pushed the leader back until their faced were near each other. "You're not so bad," Naruto said.

"Not bad yourself, but I have a contract to complete," the leader said and he kicked Naruto in the gut, sending him flying back into a dead tree. The leader then turned around and through the knife at Schmidt, who was still paralyzed.

Everyone watched with wide eyes at what happened next. The knife sailed towards the head of Schmidt and was about to make contact, then a sword blocked the knife.

Looking back at Naruto the leader saw that Red Queen was out of his hand and then looking back at Schmidt he saw that his knife was blocked by the sword that was thrown. The leader walks to his cleaver and activated its sword skill. The cleaver glowed a dark poison purple. "You have succeeded at pissing me off," the leader said and then disappeared, leaving an afterimage, and reappeared in front of Naruto with his cleaver raised in the air. He then sent it sailing down at Naruto.

Naruto raised his left arm and caught the cleaver as his demonic arm glowed with energy and burned through the cloth around it. "You're not the first person I managed to piss off," Naruto said as he yanked the cleaver and flipped it so that he held it by the handle. He then through it at the leader. It sailed to its target and struck in the right shoulder. Naruto then appeared in front of the leader, arm raised, and punched him in the face, sending him flying back. Naruto ran forward and caught him by the right foot and slammed his fist into the leaders face, sending the leader into the ground.

"And you sure as hell won't be the last!" Naruto yelled out as he slammed his fist into the face of the leader multiple times. The leader's health bar reached zero and he exploded into to nothing.

Naruto looked to the right and looked at the red eyed cloaked figure who had a sword out. "Run," was all he said and the figure sheathed his sword and ran into the fog.

Naruto then looked to the left and saw the goon with his sword sticking through his chest explode into nothing. He stood up and walked up to his sword and pulled it out of the ground and placed it on his back. He then turned around and walked towards Schmidt and grabbed Red Queen from the ground.

"Everyone okay?" Naruto asked the group.

"Yea thanks," Kain said.

"It's good to see you again Robo," Naruto said and Kain looked at Yoko with a confused face.

"He's horrible with names," Yoko said. "Thank you Naruto, I planned to apologize when this was over," she said. "But I don't expect you to believe."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto said.

"Thank you Naruto, for saving me," Schmidt said.

"What type of person would I be if I let you die?" Naruto said.

"Just one question, how did you know that those three would attack here?" Schmidt asked.

"I didn't, I just had a hunch," Naruto said and then turned to Yoko and Kain. "You two asked Grimrock to make those two weapons," he said.

"At first, he didn't seem willing. He said he wanted to let Griselda rest in peace…" Yoko said and looked down.

"But when we begged him, he finally forged them for us," Kain said.

"Sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but the reason he opposed your plan wasn't for Griselda's sake. He thought something flashy, like a PK in a safe zone, would attract sufficient attention for someone to take notice…" Naruto said and Yoko's and Kain's heads looked up in shock. "I realized that when me and Asuna were going over the possible killers on the way here," he said.

(FLASH BACK)

Naruto and Asuna were running through the forest. "Hey, how does marriage work in this game?" Naruto asked.

"When two players are married they share the same storage space," Asuna explained.

"What would happen if one person would die?" Naruto asked.

"The shared storage space would become the others storage," Asuna said.

"I think I found our killer," Naruto said.

"Who?" Asuna asked.

"Grimrock," Naruto said. "Look into Yoko's friend list and find Grimrock," he said.

"On it," Asuna said and then veered to the left in search of Grimrock.

(FLASHBACK END)

"Y-You're saying that Grimrock killed Griselda?" Schmidt asked.

"He didn't do it personally. He probably hired the group that tried to kill you to kill her," Naruto said.

"If he was the murderer why would he help us?" Yoko asked.

"Didn't you explain the whole plan to him? This was probably his best chance to bury the entire thing forever. He waited for the three of you to meet up and kill you all at once," Naruto said.

"That's horrible," Yoko said as she slumped down.

"I found him," a new voice said and looking in the direction of the voice they saw Asuna behind a man wearing a grey trench coat with a red stripe going down both sides of his sleeves, black pants and boots, a black leather belt, a whit collared shirt that had three buttons on it, a pair of round black sunglasses, black hair that was short, a grey top hat with a red stripe going through it, and pale skin.

"We can ask him for details," Naruto said.

"It's been a long time everybody," the man said.

"Grimrock, did you… Did you really…" Yoko said and tears formed in her eyes. "Why Grimrock. Why did you need the money from the ring so badly that you had to kill Griselda, your own wife?" Yoko asked.

"Money. Did you say money?" Grimrock said and everyone looked at him as he laughed to himself. "It wasn't for the money. I had… I had to kill her… While she was still my wife. She was my wife in the real world, too. The ideal wife, the perfect wife… Pretty, submissive… We'd never had a single fight. But when we were both trapped in this world, she changed. Only one of us was overcome with fear from being trapped in a death game… Me. She looked so much happier, so much more alive, than she had in the real world. I had to accept it… That the Yuuko I loved was gone. Thus… Thus, I decided to forever seal her within my memories here, in this world, where murder is legal… And who could blame me?" Grimrock explained.

"You killed your wife for that?" Naruto asked.

"That's more than reason enough. Someday, you'll understand, detective," Grimrock said. "Once you've found love and are about to lose it," he said.

"You're wrong Grimrock," Naruto said and Grimrock's face looked confused. "You didn't love Griselda. You only wanted to possess her!" he said and Grimrock fell to his knees. "Love means that you accept a person with all their failures, stupidities, ugly points, and nonetheless you see perfection in imperfection itself. You didn't love her like that, you possessed her like a puppet," he said and drew his sword and started walking forward. Then Kain, Yoko, and Schmidt got up and walked to Grimrock.

"Naruto, could you leave this man to us?" Kain asked.

"Sure," Naruto said and placed his sword on his back. Kain and Schmidt lifted Grimrock by the arms and dragged him away from them. Yoko followed behind them but then turned around and bowed her head and then continued to walk with the others.

"*YAWN* I'm tired," Naruto said as he stretched his arms out while the sun started to rise.

"Hey," Asuna said and Naruto turned to look at her. "If you married someone, and then you discovered they had a side you didn't know, what would you think?" Asuna asked.

"I would still love them. If they had a side I didn't know about, be it good or bad, then I would love them even more. A person is bound to have different sides and you will never fully understand them, but the more you learn about them the more you will be in love with them," Naruto said.

"Good answer, now let's get something to eat, I'm hungry," Asuna said as she started to walk of but Naruto grabbed her arm. "Huh?" she asked and looking behind she saw Griselda standing by her grave.

They both blinked and she was gone, but both of them could've sworn they heard someone say thank you. They both stood side by side looking at the spot.

"Hey Naruto, you want to friend me?" Asuna asked.

"W-What?" Naruto asked.

"Since we're both in the frontlines it's inconvenient that we can't talk to each other," Asuna said.

"But I'm a solo player," Naruto said.

"I didn't say you had to party up with me. Anyway, you should make some friends," Asuna said.

"I have plenty of friends," Naruto said.

"Like who?" Asuna asked.

"Connor, Kirito, Joe, and uh-uh," Naruto said. "Fine, I see your point," he said as he opened up the menu and sent her a friend request.

She opened up her menu and accepted. "See was that too hard, now come on let's go eat," she said and used a teleporting crystal to take them to town.

(SCENE CHANGE)

Naruto, Kirito, and Asuna were sitting at a table in their favorite inn. "See, I knew you guys could work together," Kirito said.

"Some rough spots here and there but in the end I guess that working with Asuna wasn't as bad as I expected it to be," Naruto said.

"Same could be said here," Asuna said.

"So when is the child coming?" Kirito asked and Naruto and Asuna spat out the water they were drinking with huge blushes.

"What the hell Kirito?" Naruto said.

"Well, I assumed that the amount of weight Asuna has been gaining was due to a child," Kirito said.

A dark aura surrounded Asuna and she slowly picked up a knife. "Run," was all she said and she jumped over the table and gave sprint at Kirito.

"What did I do?!" he yelled out as he ducked from a chair being thrown at him.

"You never," Asuna said as she threw the knife at Kirito. "Ever," she lifted up a table and threw that at him. "Talk about a women's weight!" she yelled as she threw chair after chair at him, some chairs had people on them.

Naruto was sitting in the same spot laughing his ass off until a knife nearly slice him. "What did I do?!" Naruto asked.

"You gave him that idea!" Asuna yelled as she left Kirito and started to chase Naruto around threatening to gut him and such and Naruto was just running from her while laughing.

For once in a long time, he was enjoying himself.

AUTHORS NOTE

Hey guys sorry for the long update, I hope the length of the chapter made up for it. My eyes are currently burning and my neck is cramping from writing this. I hope you enjoy and reviews are welcomed. I do not own Naruto or Sword Art Online or Devil May Cry. If you understand the little "Easter Eggs" I put in there then could job here's a chocolate chip cookie (::).

OMAKE

And plunged the sword into his chest. "See guys, I'm perfectly fine," Naruto said.

"U-uh Naruto you might want to look down," Kirito said.

"Why?" Naruto asked as he looked down and saw that the sword went right through his chest and out his back and blood was leaking out the hole. "Son of a bitch," he said to himself as he put his demonic hand on the blade and pulled it out of his chest and blood gushed out of the hole in his chest and onto the white table cloth.

"Hey! Do you know how much this table cloth cost?!" a waitress yelled.

"Oh I am so sorry. How about when I die from blood loss you can take some money out of my will so that I can repay you," Naruto said sarcastically.

"You're kidding, right?" the waitress asked.

"Of course I'm kidding. Now can I get some damn customer service over her?" Naruto asked and the waitress through him a dirty dish rag. "Jeez thanks," he said sarcastically.

"And this is why we don't stab ourselves with sharp pointy objects that have killed people," Asuna said.

"Asuna," Naruto said.

"Yes Naruto," Asuna said.

"Please shut the hell up," Naruto said as he fell forward and died.

OMAKE END

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!