"Mathias where are you going!?" , those words echoed painfully in his mind as he revived the scene once more.
"I told you , I'm leaving." , "But why!? You can't , like , leave me here alone in this dump!" , the obviously angered Pole stomped down heavily , not carrying about the loud creek that came out from the pained wooden floor. The Dane didn't seam to care as he continued to pack his things.
The strawberry blond Dane continued to hurry down the crowded street , his heart aching from the sudden memory.
"Mathias!" , the Dane didn't turn around , he didn't dare look at his friend's face. "Mathias , at least tell me why you're leaving!". The Dane stopped , a few feet from the snowy street , frozen weeds crunching beneath his shoes. "It doesn't matter." , he coldly said , still not turning back. "It matters! It totally matters!" , the Pole continued to press , "We , like , came here together didn't we! Only a week! What kind of a sick mind are you to , like , leave now!?". The Dane resumed his walking , turning up the street.
"A one way ticket to the closest town in Finland please." , the Dane said , out of breath , to the woman at the ticket booth at the train station. He couldn't stop that thin voice from echoing in his mind. However though , he needed to do other things. Some things ware more important than others. Same went with friendships.
"Mathias! Why are you leaving all of a sudden , at least tell me! You damn Dane! Come back here!"
Mathias's blue eyes took in the sight of the station that had appealed him so when he first came. The flickering city lights begged him farewell as he leaned his head on the window of the wagon. He closed his eyes , trying to push away the nagging , squeaky voice that as if haunted him. The emptiness in his chest as if got bigger rather than going away.
- seven hours earlier –
The day started off with the falling of soft snow. People ware walking around the streets , cars drove by , splashing water at the passing people. It was quite cold out side though the movement around the city gave a worm look to the scenery. Around the outskirts of the city however the people ware less , giving the opposite feeling to the scene. Empty , snow covered and frozen fields lied over the river. The soft breeze blew little clouds of snow with it self giving the scene a ghostly look.
A week had passed since Feliks had come to Russia and about two days since he had came to call his new home truly home. He woke up late that morning. It was Saturday maybe. He hadn't been thinking about the days , he just let them slip through his fingers ever since he came. He had woken up by the opening and closing of the front door , heavy foot steps entering the living room. He groggily opened his eyes and yawned , not bothering to move from the mattress. He closed his eyes again , tying to fall asleep , though his attention was again brought up when he heard something from the kitchen. He groaned and tried to ignore the sound but he quickly shot up when he heard a voice from the kitchen. It wasn't the voice of Mathias. Faliks wobbled a bit , having gotten up from the mattress too quick , as he walked towards the closed bedroom door.
He slowly walked towards the living room but didn't enter it , trying to listen to what the people in the kitchen ware talking. He couldn't hear though so he slowly stepped inside the living room , hoping that the wall between the little tight kitchen and the living room would prevent him from being seen. He could faintly hear the sound of Mathias's voice. They ware whispering , as if aware that he might still be asleep and thus trying not to wake him. Feliks was too caught up in trying to hear what they ware saying that he didn't hear them starting to slowly walk towards the door to the living room from the kitchen. He squeaked , startled , when Mathias and Tim , the Dutchman that had first brought them to the building , exited the kitchen. Mathias looked surprised to see him pressing against the opposite wall. "Oh , Fee , good morning!" the loud Dane greeted cheerfully. "Mathias you jerk! You could have given me a hear attack!" the Pole huffed , crossing his arms , "And why is he here?" , he subconsciously gestured towards Tim who was standing beside the Dane. "He's here to help with the surprise!" Mathias exclaimed , lifting his hands up over his head. The Pole raised an eyebrow. "What surprise?" , Mathias grinned at the question. "Come and see comrade!"
Feliks didn't know what to say really. He wasn't very surprised since a surprise for him was a new shirt or new shoes or something new to wear in general. He didn't know what to say about the wooden table and the three chairs that stood in the back of the tight kitchen , not to mention the gas stove that stood at the side of the table and chairs. They looked like second hand furniture too. "Where did you , like , get all that?" Feliks asked looking back at Mathias. "Awesome right! But it wasn't me , it was Tim here , I just asked him about furniture when I was walking down the stairs to go to the post office and he was more than happy to help me out! Who knows he knew a guy!" Mathias laughed , something that the Dutchman beside him didn't took very nicely. "I thought it would be a pain for you without a stove at least." Tim started explaining "So I though I could help. I hope you enjoy eating on a table and having worm food for dinner.". The Dutchman started to head off towards the door , Mathias waving after him with a grin. "Thanks again comrade! I'll be calling you for sofas and carpets later!" , the Dane laughed as Tim shut the front door behind him.
Feliks looked back at the table and the chairs. "We should , like , totally put those in the big room , near the wall." , he offered , "Where did you get money for these stuff anyway?". Mathias groaned softly and shrugged. "Don't ask , enjoy the new piece of true furniture!". Feliks nodded , not really thinking the subject further. It was good to have new furniture indeed. Worm food for dinner and a table to sit at while eating sounded well. After they moved the table ( more like Mathias did ) and chairs to the living room corner , opposite to the door , as Feliks wished , they spend at least an hour on Feliks's Russian lessons. The Pole actually followed quite well when it was being explained to him slowly and clearly. It was like talking to a kid in the kindergarten really. They had been spending time on Feliks's Russian for the last few days. The Pole now knew some of the basics and could explain the lack of documents on him when needed ( Mathias still laughed at the earlier experience ).
After the little lesson , in around twelve , Mathias left for the post office. He told Feliks that he had send a letter to a friend in Norway when he first came so he was now waiting for a replay. Feliks honestly tried not to laugh at that. Was the Dane so naïve as to think that letters from Russia could reach occupied Norway? Miracles ware possible but the exact miracle was something possible only in the Dane's dreams. Let him dream though.
Feliks had learned not to leave when it wasn't needed there for he stayed home. He sat on one of the new chairs which he had pulled in front of the window , staring at the out side scenery. His current life was boring , the only interesting thing was when he got pulled in by the police. But he didn't want to go through that again so the only thing he could do was stare in front of the window. The only movement his eyes detected , so to say , was the falling of the small snowflakes that came down from the gray sky. In moments like these his mind wondered back. He didn't want it to happen but it did. He could hear gunshots , he could as if smell the gunpowder , he could feel his own breath raging from his chest and his small heart pounding wildly. But he tried to push aside those thoughts. Instead his mind wondered in the present. He had to find a job , didn't he? The thought didn't appeal to him but he had heard from Mathias ( who was already working on finding a job ) that if he wanted to look normal in Russia he had to work. It's not like he couldn't handle it , one way or another he was going to start working , especially when his money ran out eventually. It was more that he was a bit too lazy. He didn't want to think about work , though he couldn't sit around all day either. It was one of those situations in his life when he wanted one thing but then again he wanted something completely different too! And the worst part was he couldn't have them both. It was like choosing between two shirts that he liked but had money only for one.
Time passed painfully slow when he had nothing to do but since he was in a way scared to go out side ( it was too cold out side too ) he had to stay home and find something to do , which was really hard. He passed the few hours that Mathias was out in blank staring at the window and rolling around the much cleaner floor. He wasn't ready however for what happened with Mathias's arrival home.
He had waited passionately for his friend's arrival since he was supposed to pick some groceries on the way back for a stew or something. Not to mention he was supposed to buy some sort of dishes , god knows from where.
Feliks was left dumbfounded though when Mathias burst in the apartment , shutting the door behind him. The Pole quickly jumped out of the chair he had been sitting on and looked towards the door. Mathias had bolted towards the bedroom the minute he had stepped inside the apartment. Feliks walked to the bedroom , his eyes widening in surprise at the sight. Mathias was packing his things. Not like he had unpacked much , there was no place to put the stuff except in their bags thus they had not bothered taking them out. Before the Pole could say anything Mathias pushed his way through him and walked to the bathroom , taking his toothbrush and again walking towards his bag after words , stuffing said toothbrush in it. It was a minute before Feliks found his voice but it was not him who broke the uncomfortable silence.
"I'm leaving." Mathias muttered , his back facing Feliks.
The Pole secretly knew it was something of the sort. He didn't know why though. Why would Mathias leave?
"Mathias where are you , like , going?!" Feliks asked , trying to sound as serious as he was , though his 'like' saying habit threw him off..
"I told you , I'm leaving." , "But why!? You can't , like , leave me here alone in this dump!" , the obviously angered Pole stomped down heavily , not carrying about the loud creek that came out from the pained wooden floor. The Dane didn't seam to care as he continued to pack his things.
Mathias slung his bag over his shoulder and turned towards the door. He too like Feliks hadn't brought many things , though he wasn't in a rush when packing , he knew from the start he won't stay in Russia for long. He personally had expected to stay longer but there was no way now. Feliks walked after his friend as Mathias passed him and walked out the door. "Why are you leaving!?" Feliks raised his voice as Mathias exited the door. The Dane again didn't answer , just continued down the creaky stairs. Feliks of course , being stubborn , followed , even though he was clad in only his dress shirt and pants. "Mathias answer me!" the Pole demanded , this time pulling Mathias back by his sleeve. The Dane just waved his hand off and continued towards the front door of the building. There he stopped , without looking at Feliks. "You're going to pay you're rent , find a job , I left some money under the mattress too." , the Dane started to explain putting Feliks in a miracle , "I hope you take care , comrade." , "Mathias wait!" , the Dane opened the door and started to walk out side into the crunching snow. Feliks of course ran after him , refusing to let something like this happen. The Pole didn't seam to care about the cold that struck him as he exited the front door , he needed to keep Mathias beside him , he couldn't do anything alone and he admitted it to him self. "Mathias wait! What about teaching me Russian , you can't leave me here!-" , "You know enough Russian , you'll figure stuff out ahead of time." , the Dane continued to walk not turning back. "Tell me why you're leaving at least! Mathias!" the Pole shrieked and a thought ran through Mathias's mind. Did he owe the Pole an explanation? Perhaps it was painful to watch your friend go without knowing why. But Mathias didn't owe him an explanation , he wouldn't understand even if he told him. He had no time to waste in explaining too.
"Mathias!" , the Dane didn't turn around , he didn't dare look at his friend's face. "Mathias , at least tell me why you're leaving!". The Dane stopped, a few feet from the snowy street , frozen weeds crunching beneath his shoes. "It doesn't matter." , he coldly said , still not turning back. "It matters! It totally matters!" , the Pole continued to press , "We , like , came here together didn't we! Only a week! What kind of a sick mind are you to , like , leave now!?". The Dane resumed his walking , turning up the street.
The Pole was ruined. Why was he leaving? What was he going to do now , not knowing Russian fully well , having almost no chance to do any work he could find , with no money , not able to feed him self? Feliks got a grip on his nerves , turning his misfortune into anger towards the Dane.
"Mathias! Why are you leaving all of a sudden , at least tell me! You damn Dane! Come back here!"
No pathetic yells and shrieks could make the Dane stop. What ever the reason was , he had made his mind up and was now leaving. For every unknown to Feliks reasons. The Pole stood there , at the foot of the building's front door , staring blankly at the river that flew smoothly as ever. He felt little tears fall from his eyes. He couldn't control his crying. H cried very easily actually. When he was angry , sad , when things didn't go his way , when he was embarrassed. Right now he both sad and angry. Angry at the Dane that was leaving without a word and sad because now he was alone. He felt as if he was going to die alone in this cold country. He was going to die suddenly and Tim and the Swede would find his body months latter , lying on the living room floor.
He quickly shook his head , trying to get rid of the depressing thoughts but it was so hard to do. He had to find some sort of dishes now but from where? He needed food and there was none up in the apartment so he had to walk out and buy some. And he knew little about shopping in a communistic country! What if he saw his old friend Lopakin again? Sure he could say 'hi' but he didn't know the more complicated Russian the people around him spoke. He doubted that Mathias knew what he did to him leaving.
A few minutes passed before the Pole could feel the cold. When he did however a shiver rocked his body and he rubbed his forearms , deciding it was time to go back inside. He slowly walked up the stairs and into his apartment. The front door had stayed opened so the apartment felt a lot colder. The Pole slowly closed the door and went in to the bedroom , taking his heavy coat and wrapping it over his shoulders. He went over to the so called kitchen and retrieved the gas stove planning to turn it on in the bedroom so it could worm up.
He dragged the gas stove to the bedroom and turn it on. He hoped that it would get a bit wormer that way. Spending the winter with no fire was dangerous business. The Pole went to the bathroom to wash his teary face and drink some cold water from the little sink before going back to the bedroom. While he was walking towards the bedroom however something on the floor caught his eye. A white little paper. He leaned down and took it , squinting his eyes to read it. The letter how ever was written in Norwegian as it seamed , or some other language of the like. Feliks felt that the letter was related to Mathias's sudden leave so he tucked it his pocket planning to ask the Swede if could translate it later. He was as if too tired to do anything now.
The pole threw him self on the creaking mattress , tucking him self under the woolen blankets. It didn't got who knows how wormer from the gas stove's little flame but Feliks was hoping it did after a bit more time. It was strange how tired and groggy he felt when he hadn't done anything much today. He fell asleep with thoughts about the future , determined to find out more about the strange letter tomorrow.
Till now he was switching plans. He was going to get another sucker with him. As much as he wanted he couldn't take care of him self in the current situation. He needed someone like Mathias around him , and this time he wasn't going to get friendly , he was going to keep his relations as cold and fake as possible. He saw how much friends ware worth. He wasn't ready to go through that again.
That's how Feliks fell asleep , with thoughts about the close future.
- to be continued… -
Okay! Short and probably crappiest chapter till now! I had to end the little retrospection session some how so you wouldn't wonder about the upcoming chapters. I hope you liked none the less and as always R&R!
P.S. Yeas , it is quite confusing , please stay tune and I promise to sort out the misunderstood material in the later chapters.
