ZADR

ZADR? Or DAZR?
By Raven
Rating: M (FOR LATER STUFF)
Warnings: romance and a wee bit of violence
Pairing: ZADR
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, but this lovely ZADR belongs to me
Summary: Hi Skool is hell, but not everyone sees it that way. Can two long time enemies become the closest of companions? Only one way to find out. -ZADR-

CHAPTER 7

Zim didn't know what happened, where his shirt was, or why he was on his back. All he knew was that Dib was kissing him and oh did it feel so good! He didn't bother with the details. He didn't need to – especially since Dib's lips had trailed down to the Irken's neck and they were slowly sucking the life out of his skin. Zim noticed there was a deep purr resonating in his own chest. He was getting too into this. And the purr only seemed to push Dib further on his path of hot kisses trailing from the alien's jaw to his collar bone. Of course, they burned a little, seeing as human saliva is mostly water, but in his heightened sensitivity, the burn was slight and simply driving Zim insane with ecstasy.

Then it hit him. If Dib was doing this, he had to feel some sort of attraction to him, right? This thought just elated him. "Dib," he breathed. The boy looked up, taking his mouth away if only for a moment to turn his attention to the Irken.

"Yes?" he answered, tracing his fingers over the Irken's ribs.

"How do you feel about me?" he asked, petting Dib's scythe shaped devil-lock. "Do you love me yet?"

Dib placed a warm, gentle kiss on the Irken's skin. "I like you Zim, I like you a lot," he said, more to the alien's green neck than his face. He interrupted himself to place another kiss against the sensitive skin. "But yes, I do love you." Another kiss. "I love you a lot." This time he kissed the Irken's cheek. "And I've loved you for a long time." Smooth lips pressed firmly onto the others. "That's what you've been wrong about all this time."

Zim didn't even have time to think about an answer as all pak function and proper cerebral function suddenly stopped and the ancient, primitive brain stem took over with only one goal in mind: mating. Oh boy was Zim fucked now. Well, actually Dib more so than Zim, but anyway, it didn't matter. The everyday-Zim was gone and replaced with "Oh-Irk-I-need-to-screw-something-right-now" Zim. Dib was screwed if he even considered reasoning with this side of Zim. This Zim definitely wouldn't listen. This Zim knew nothing of reasoning. This Zim only wanted to hear sounds of intense pleasure, no whining or reason; just moans and groans.

It was a matter of seconds before Dib was on the bottom, moaning into Zim's neck as the Irken nibbled at tender neck-flesh and eased the boy's shirt off. This was it, Dib and Zim finally together – finally in love and with each other. And Zim was about to get everything he had ever wanted. But then it happened.

Suddenly, a sharp, stabbing pain, pierced his squiggly spooch. He leaped back, grabbing at his naked abdomen. This couldn't be happening! He cried out, doubling over in pain as another stab shot through him. "Oh, God…" The Creator's name came out in a twisted way, the word heard a thousand times before, but never said; totally foreign to his snaky tongue.

Dib was on his knees at the Irken's side, but Zim didn't notice, too busy dealing with the agonizing pain. "Zim? What's wrong? Are you okay?" The questions kept pouring out of the boy's to such an extent that the alien finally noticed the annoyance and grabbed Dib roughly by the throat, squelching any further noise that would come from it.

"Do I look okay?" The human shook his head. "That's what I tho-AH!" As another stab ravaged his insides, Zim let go of Dib's neck, pulling the hand back to his stomach in since it felt like it was going to explode now. Oh he was royally screwed! If he remembered anything from Irken biology, it was this. He knew what this was. This was The Change. Zim was changing sex to better suit Dib. He honestly didn't think the human was capable of doing such a thing himself, but the Irken had never expected to go through the horrible phenomena either. "Get… Away…" he breathed as he attempted to crawl away from Dib. "Just get… Away… Before… I kill you…"

"But, Zim –"

"GO! NOW!" The Irken shouted, glaring blood red eyes at the creature he loved so much. "You don't want to know what you've just done to me!"

"But I want to! Just tell me!" Dib screamed, silencing the Irken. Zim stared in shock at the human. "Look," Dib began, his voice much more calm this time. "I won't understand anything if you don't tell me what's going on! What did I do to you?"

"You…" He blushed, suddenly embarrassed. "You changed… My sex…"

Dumbfounded, Dib's jaw dropped. "I what?"

Another pain stabbed the Irken so he couldn't answer immediately. The human made no attempt to reach for the alien now. Taking a gasp of air, Zim began to explain. "Irkens are hermaphrodites. Sometimes we change sexes to accommodate for their partner. This time it's involuntary so it – Ah –" he paused for another pain. "Hurts a lot more… I chose to be male when I reached maturity. But now… You've made me a girl, stupid big-headed Earth-stink!"

"My head's not big!" An automatic response he obviously didn't mean to ay since he clapped his hands over his mouth. "S-Sorry…" he mumbled. "I didn't mean to say that." He reached out now and petted back the Irken's wilted lekku. A shiver went down the alien's spine as the action was performed. "So you're a girl now?" Zim nodded. Dib took a second for this to soak in. "You know, this might work out better."

Zim glared at him. "What do you mean…?"

"Well, it'll make it easier for us to… you know…" He blushed a dark cherry red. "Well, you know."

The Irken's eyes widened. "Mate?" he ventured, his voice high and squeaky in his shocked state. It would make it easier… but he wouldn't be dominating. He would be dominated – something he definitely wasn't used to.

Dib nodded. "If that's what you want to call it." His hand dropped to lift the Irken's chin. "Look, Zim, I don't care if you've changed into a girl. I still love you."

Zim gulped. Apparently it was obvious he didn't like the fact he was changing. He was about to open his mouth to speak when another pain seized him. He finally collapsed into Dib's lap where he rested his head indefinitely. He felt Dib's hand brush over his lekku. This attention allowed him to relax a little as the pains came and went and finally went away, leaving the Irken tired and cold. "Dib," he mumbled, his voice slightly higher than normal. "I'm cold."

Dib had nearly fallen asleep and long ago stopped petting Zim's lekku. He rubbed one eye now and looked around for a blanket. There was a pink one nearby, but just out of his reach. "Hold on just a second." He eased the alien off his lap and onto the floor. He got up and grabbed the blanket and returned to the Irken. Placing the blanket and returned to the Irken. Placing the blanket on the bed, he slipped his arms under him and picked him up. He almost dropped him too when he noticed a significant change on Zim's chest. Thankfully he regained his composure – sort of. He had a deep red blush on his face and he refused to look at him until he had covered up the feminized Irken.

Zim grabbed the hem of his boxers as he began to move away. "You aren't leaving, are you?" he asked.

Dib shook his head. "No. Just getting another blanket and some pillows." The human crawled away as the Irken let him go.

Zim fell into his own thoughts. Dib must be wondering what the hell was wrong with the Irken. After all, how often was it that someone changed gender? The alien pulled the blanket closer as he rolled onto his side. Man, this has to be weird for him. But what could he do? It had already happened so there was no going back for at least a month. And because of that, Zim was stuck as a girl.

Some time after this realization, Zim fell asleep, totally exhausted. He woke up hours later when he realized he was alone.

Clutching the blanket to his chest, he looked around the room. It was empty. Zim almost swore under his breath until he noticed Dib's pants were still there and a piece of paper was laying on top of them. He crawled over and picked it up. It said Dib was upstairs making breakfast. The Irken couldn't help but smile. That was sweet of him.

The door suddenly opened and GIR came bouncing in. "MASTA!" he screamed, leaping forward. "There's a strange guy in da kitchen makin' WAFFLEZ! WHY is he in da kitchen? WHY is he makin' da wafflez? And WHY is his head so BIG?!" He looked up from where he had landed on the bed and screamed bloody murder. "YOU'S A GURL! WHAT HAPPENED TO JOO?"

Zim smacked the annoying robot so hard he went flying across the room. "Shut your mouth. You just ruined my mood. Annoying robot…" He stood, wrapping the blanket around him to hide his nakedness. He hadn't been a girl in a really long time so it was odd to suddenly feel the swells on his chest again. He couldn't fathom what he looked like at this point. He stepped into the changing room and reached for a touch-screen panel. "Computer, assemble female Earth shirt."

"Whaaat? Have you gone girl on us, Zim?" the computer responded, being decidedly cheeky today.

"Make me an Irken chest support as well," he growled. "And make it snappy!"

"Gosh… You don't have to get a 'tude with me. Gimmie a second…"

A cabinet opened with a burst of foggy smoke. Inside lay a standard black baby-doll cut t-shirt and the "Irken chest support" which was more or less a pale green bra when you got right down to it.

"All done. Are you happy now?" The computer sighed and shut up as Zim got dressed. He was having a hard time getting the shirt on over his now curly lekku. HE hated being a girl. Why else had he chosen to be a boy before? He let out a loud and violent sigh. This was going to suck really bad. Then another thought struck him How the hell was he supposed to go to skool when he looked more like a she?!

"Damnit!" he yelled, banging a fist against the wall. "How the hell am I supposed to function like this?! I could try that wrapping thing but that's so time consuming… GAH! STUPID HUMAN!" He felt tears stinging his eyes. "Stupid female hormones! Stupid everything! I am so royally fucked that I have no idea what to do! What am I supposed to DO?! I can't miss a month of skool, can I? No, there would go everything! But if I go like this… DAMN!" He let out a string of alien swear words. HE was more screwed now that he ever had been in all of the years he'd been stuck on the planet. Seven years and this was the worst it had ever been. But at least he wasn't totally alone. He had Dib now, right? And Dib was upstairs making his favorite. He shouldn't be down here sulking while Dib was up there slaving over a hot waffle iron! Yeah! He should be up there eating those delicious love-made wafflez! He would even take the couch elevator just to surprise his Diblet.

Dashing back to his room, he slid over the tiles in his sock feet. He had a wide grin on his face. Surprising Dib would be fun! He was so excited, the elevator ride seemed three times as long. Jumping off the couch and landing cat-like on the floor, he scampered to the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. And there was Dib in his boxers wearing a pink apron Zim was sure he had stolen from GIR and making some of the tastiest looking waffles Zim had ever seen. He suddenly realized how hungry he was. All thoughts of hunger aside though, Zim focused on his target – Dib. He looked so cute standing there in the kitchen all alone and helpless-like.

Thin metal legs slipped out of is pak to help him stealthily inch across the kitchen floor. A foot away from him, he let himself rest on his own feet. A toothy grin spread over his face as he reached toward the boy. "MINE!" he squealed and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him close.

He certainly surprised the Earthling who seemed to jump three feet into the air. "Holy-" he gasped, turning around in the Irken's arms. There was batter splattered on his face and he had a spatula in one hand. "Where'd you come from?"

"The couch," Zim explained, loosening his grip a tiny bit. "You made my favorite."

"I know," Dib said, taking a curled lekku in one hand. "They're curly?"

"Yeah," Zim replied, going lax at the touch. "Most girls on Irk have curly lekku. Some times they're straight. Mine go curly." He snuggled a cheek into the fabric of Dib's shirt. "You like?"

Dib's hand drew down the length of the stalk. He lowered his lips to kiss the tip of the curl. "Mm hmm… They're very cute."

Zim pulled him closer, squirming slightly. "Just cute?"

Tilting the Irken's chin up to a point where he could see the entirety of his face. "No, you're beautiful." Then he kissed him. At first it was a lazy warm kiss, then Zim felt something a lot hotter against his lips – Dib's tongue. And he couldn't help leave such a thing outside all alone in the cold, he had to bring it inside. Soon his snaky tongue had wrapped around the thickness of Dib's. As this kiss deepened, Dib's arms wrapped around Zim's narrow hips as Zim's went around the boy's shoulders. But this didn't satisfy Zim after a little while. A hand slid down Dib's arm until he could grasp just below his elbow and pull his arm away then his own hand slipped down the fleshy arm to the human's hand which he then placed on his chest, leaving Dib to do as he may as the Irken returned his full attention to the human's soft tongue.

Dib's hand slid from where it had been placed, high on the Irken's collar bone to the soft flesh of a newly formed breast. Then Dib stopped, pulling away from Zim, leaving the alien in a state of shocked dejection.

"The waffles!" Dib turned back to the smoking iron. "Damnit, damnit, damnit!" He flipped a blackened waffle out of the iron and into the trash. He glanced over his shoulder at the whimpering alien. "Zim?" He turned to him now. "Oh, Zim!" He dropped the spatula and threw his arms around the Irken. "I'm sorry! How can I make it feel better!"

"Waffles," Zim replied, slightly shocked at the sudden hug. "Just fix me a stack of waffles." He pulled out of the human's grasp and sat down at the table.

Dib blinked. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm really sorry. It's just the waffle was burning," he rambled while he fixed a stack of waffles. "You know the smell of burning food is nasty. I can't stand it. So, sorry." He placed a stack of waffles and the syrup bottle in front of the alien and gave him a peck on the top of the head. "I hope I can make it feel better." He returned to the counter to fix himself a stack."

Zim looked around his plate, but couldn't find a single piece of silverware. "Fork?" he said, anticipating the boy bringing him the implement. But he got a much different reaction than he expected.

Dib turned around, his face red. "What did you say?"

Zim held up his empty fist and pointed to it. "Fork, Dib. I can't eat without a fork. Jeez! Get you're mind out of the gutter." He snickered when Dib turned back around, redder than before. Sitting down, he thrust the silverware across the table and waited for the giggling Irken to take it.

"You want this right? Why don't you take it?" the boy asked.

Claws slowly curled around the metal and Dib's hand. "Thank you…" Zim replied, adding a soft purr at the end.

The human went a little slack, a happy, lazy grin curling onto his face. "You're welcome…" He let out a silly giggle.

Zim raised a brow in confusion at the behavior. "Dib…? Are you okay?" The human nodded, stabbing his fork into a stack of waffles. "Dib?" The human nodded again. "Are you even listening to me?" Dib nodded once more. "All right you big-headed Earth-filth! Can you hear me?" Dib nodded, but didn't respond to the insults like he normally would. "That's it!" He got up and sat on the table in front of the boy. "Diblet, wake up." He snapped his fingers and Dib's head jerked up.

"What happened?"

"Apparently my purr is hypnotic." He placed a soft kiss on the tip of the boy's nose. "But now, waffles."