7. Incriminating Evidence

"Well, 99," Max said proudly. "I think we should call the Chief and tell him we've apprehended the perpetrators of the evil aforementioned scheme and he should send the appropriate transportation."

"But we don't have any solid evidence yet."

"I wasn't finished yet 99." Max pretended to continue. "…after we've found the incriminating evidence." Without warning he whirled around shoving his face about an inch from Gilligan's. "Where's your base?" He asked as threateningly as possible.

"I don't know. We don't even have a baseball field to put one in." The frightened young man said with a shrug.

Max sighed and turned to 99. "They're not cooperating!" He said with a pout.

"There has to be some way to prove our innocence." The Professor said struggling against the vines now binding his wrists. Max had taken the precautionary measure of tying everyone's hands to minimize the chances of their escape.

"There has to be some way to prove their guilt." Max was deep in thought, completely ignoring the Professor.

"Why don't you search the huts? I assure you, you will find no incriminating evidence against us."

"Will you stop talking? I'm trying to think." After a moment of deep concentration Max's eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. "I've got it! We'll search the huts and see if we can find any incriminating evidence there."

The Skipper and Professor exchanged an odd glance then looked over at 99 who just shrugged. "Good thinking Max."

"Why, thank you, 99." He said as if he already knew how brilliant he was. "You search while I stand guard and make sure none of these desperate criminals try to escape."

99 looked at the row of 'desperate criminals'. For some reason those words didn't seem to fit. What's wrong with you! She chastised herself for being so sentimental. Just because they don't look like KAOS agents doesn't mean they aren't.

"Right, Max."

"Just a minute!" Mrs. Howell said. "I don't think I like the idea of that girl rifling through our things, Thurston. Besides, the hut isn't ready for visitors."

"But Lovey-poo, these people are insane. They won't even take a bribe!And they're going to hold us here until they can prove we are innocent. Searching our hut seems to be the only way they'll be satisfied."

"Well, alright." She turned to 99 shaking a finger. "But wipe your feet before you go in. I wouldn't want any sand on the floor."

"But your floor is sand." The Skipper protested, somewhat confused by the antics of his rich friend.

"Yes, but the sand from outside is so dirty."

"Don't worry, I'll wipe my feet." 99 assured her as she headed for the hut.

"Thank you dear."

--

99 entered the hut carefully, gun drawn. Her senses ever alert for traps that might be awaiting any unwary intruder. Once satisfied that she'd not triggered a barrage of bullets or poison gas she relaxed a bit, holstered her pistol and began a methodic search.

She found it interesting to take a peek into these people's lives. As she opened the closet a hanging zoo immediately came to mind. There was a mink stole, a leopard jacket, a long silver fox coat and various other furs. She couldn't help but run her fingers through the soft spotted leopard pelt. It probably looked even more beautiful when it was alive. She thought, denying the urge to try it on.

She moved on to the vanity on which was a large collection of sparkling glass containers of all shapes and sizes, each containing a different and obviously expensive perfume. Next to them was a jewelry box the contents of which she found rivaled the crown jewels of England.

While searching the beds she discovered a scruffy looking teddy bear placed carefully in the middle of the pillow. Turning the well-loved toy over in her hands she wondered if it belonged to Mr. or Mrs. Howell. Just as she set it down a large blue trunk at the foot of the bed caught her attention. As she lifted the lid she was utterly stunned that it had not been locked, considering it was filled to the top with money.

In another case this would be incriminating evidence. This time, however, she realized that it supported the Howell's identity. She remembered an article she'd read a few years back about the somewhat eccentric financial genius. One of the things it had mentioned (aside from a complete obsession with Fort Knox and Harvard education) was he never took a trip without a trunk full of cash.

The girls hut was no more incriminating. On Ginger's side there was makeup, a few costumes and an autographed picture of herself to herself and under her pillow was a lipstick-smeared photo of Rock Hudson. 99 thought she'd found something on the actress when she discovered a gun in the costume trunk. But, alas, it was only a stage pistol full of blanks. Maryann's side was neat and quaint. 99 wasn't quite sure what it was but something about that side of the room said 'farm girl'. She found nothing to suggest that the resident of that side of the hut was an agent of KAOS either.

The next hut, Gilligan an the Skipper's, did hold some weapons; an old Japanese rifle and bayonet that must have come from WW2, a makeshift bow and arrow and a cheap pistol. What she didn't find, however, was any ammunition to load them with (with the exception of the bow and arrow). 'Not a very intimidating arsenal' 99 concluded. Not to mention KAOS agents generally took great pride in the condition of their weapons and the guns she found here were slightly rusty and stiff from disuse. This did not totally fade her suspicion, however. For she well knew that the apparent lack of arms could be deceiving and just about any common innocent-looking object could conceal a lethal device.

She was about to give up on actually finding anything and move on to the next hut when something caught her eye. The spine of a small black book was just barely visible on the floor between the wall and a cabinet. It was possible that it had simply fallen back there by accident but for some reason 99 didn't think so. If it was purposefully hidden then it could very well be the evidence she was looking for.

She pulled it out and sat in the nearest chair. "My Diary" was written in gold script across the cover. It wasn't exactly what she had expected but if they were truly agents of KAOS she was sure it would still hold the evidence needed to convict them After all it was rare that a KAOS agent could resist bragging about his evil exploits even if it was in his own diary.

But as she began reading she realized the whole thing was a mistake.

-

The Skipper sneezed loudly.

"Gesuntite." Max said politely while still keeping his gun trained on the imposing man.

Little did the spy know that the nasal explosion had been faked only to hide the sound of vines snapping away from the captain's massive wrists. He kept his now-freed hands behind his back waiting for the right opportunity to take over the much smaller spy. There was no doubt in his mind that the time would come soon for Max had been inching closer as he continued to brag about how KAOS's evilness would never prevail over the goodness and niceness of CONTROL.

He was standing directly in front of him when they heard 99 call; "Max!" Max turned his head as she exited the hut waving a small black book. The Skipper realized that this momentary distraction was his only chance.

With a quick but powerful slap to Max's hand he sent his gun sailing a surprising distance into the bushes.

Thus disarmed the spy bent into a fighting crouch his beady eyes watching for the Skipper's next move. "Don't worry 99, I can handle him!" Max shouted over his shoulder.

The sailor crossed his arms over his barrel-like chest. "You can, huh?"

"That's right fatso." With that he swung a left that made direct contact with the captain's jaw. Max waited expectantly for the man to fall, but with a sinking feeling he realized the only reaction he'd had to the blow was a slight sideward jerk of his head when Max's fist made contact. He hadn't even made an effort to block the punch. With a frown of determination he tried again to incapacitate the KAOS captain; this time with a karate chop to the shoulder. There was a bit more of a response this time. A corner of his mouth twitched noticeably. At first Max thought it was from the pain he had inflicted. After only a second's consideration, however, he realized the sailor was trying to hold back a cocky grin. With a grunt of frustration he put all his strength into one more valiant swing. He aimed for the stomach, the bulging area under that big blue shirt, hoping to knock the wind out of his opponent. Nothing. He'd had three strikes, and by the scowl on the captain's face Max knew he was out. In hope of softening the situation he tried to fake a friendly grin as he threw an arm over the rock-hard shoulders. "Eh, I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about fatso."

Apparently he was for the Skipper made a small growl and two huge fists grabbed his shirt and hauled him roughly off the ground until their noses nearly touched and Max was staring directly into the intense blue eyes of an angry sea captain.

He allowed himself a quick glance at 99, hoping she was about to come to his rescue. She has her gun in her hand, he thought. So why doesn't she do something? Is she just going to stand there and watch me get pummeled! He didn't call out for her help. He was too confused over her inaction. Some friend and partner she turned out to be.

His attention snapped back as his assailant spoke just inches from his face…loudly. "Now you listen to me! I don't care if you're a government agent or not! You can't just go around threatening people!"

"Yeah, it's intimidating." Gilligan added.

Max opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted as the Skipper continued. "And we're not these KAOS agents you keep talking about. None of us are spies, or have ever been spies. In fact," He addressed the castaways. "Have any of us ever even met a spy?"

There was an overall shaking of heads, except for Ginger. "I used to go with the actor who played James Bond."

Ignoring the movie star the Professor added, "You see, Mr. Smart, we have absolutely no affiliation with an espionage organization of any kind."

Max's beady eyes squinted into a skeptical glare. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Ahem…uh…Max." Hearing her voice he looked over his shoulder at 99. She was holding up a black book with an apologetic tint to her gorgeous blue eyes. His stomach churned uncomfortably, fearing her announcement might just make him barf.

"Don't tell me they're not really KAOS agents." He pleaded.

"They're not really KAOS agents, Max."

"I asked you not to tell me that!"

-

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Author's note: All's well that end's well? I think not. You'll meet the real villans in the next chapter.