Author's Note; So to make up to you lovely readers for my lack of updating I bring you an other chapter! (And head up this is a shorter chapter) This one I had been looking forward to writing actually for a while. As much as I know we all find the Jaime x Cersei relationship creepy at best, I do find it fascinating to write. Now I know that canon Jaime is a very different person than the version of Jaime I will be writing. Please do remember that this is an AU story so I may not keep a character as "true" as they would appear in source material.
As always my shout-out to reviewers, thanks to LadyRedStar for your review. I am glad that you like my story and look forward to giving more updates in the future.
If anyone has any comments, questions or general feedback please leave me a review! Also still open to anyone who would like to Beta this story or consult with me on a story id graphic.
The sky was darker than black ink, dawn would soon break and bring grey light across the Northern sky. Winterfell was dead quite in deep sleep as the feast had wrapped up a few hours ago, King Robert had drunk himself nearly into a comatose state, with his face buried into the bosom of a serving girl. For all the ale and wine that was consume that evening it would not be surprising to see that all those in the castle would not rise until late morning at the earliest. The feast had been quite the success, or so the King had proclaimed. After the announcement of the engagement Robert Baratheon had gone on and on about how proud he was to engineer a solid alliance between the Westerlands and the North, as well as an end to the cold war between the Starks and Lannisters. Already he heralded the future as a time of glory for all their houses.
Ned and Benjen Stark had put on smiling face but anyone could see that those grins had not reached either of their eyes. But even after some more alcohol even the most stern faced of the Northerner's seemed to brighten up to the idea of a union and the prosperity that trade with the Westerlands would bring. They would be able to trade their raw goods down to the South, wood, wool, fish and coal and in return they would get trade of wheat, gems, and gold - valuable things that they could then use to trade with the Reach for fruits, barely and sheep. It would bring a new age of wealthy for the Northern houses and all their people. The ramifications and benefits of this marriage were lengthy, and for once there was a chance of peace between the two great houses that backed the crown. Perhaps this was truly a plan of pure genius, after all it would get Tywin Lannister what he had always wanted, his firstborn back to be his heir.
Jaime smirked as he swirled the goblet in his hand. It was half full of wine but he had not touched it in some time, only stared at the deep ruby contents deep in thought. The moments after the announcement had been seen in two different ways. The North men were caught off guard, there was a deep loyalty that ran in the veins of these people – they were stunned to see that one of their own would marry a southerner. He had heard in gossip that quickly followed that apparently it had been assumed by most of the North that Alysanne Stark would eventually wed the heir to Winterfell; Robb Stark.
But he could see the dissention among the Starks themselves. There had been little time between the King's decision on the arrangement and the feast to warn all of the Stark household. The shock was apparent on them most. However some seemed to quickly take to it, Ned Stark's eldest daughter had seemed pleased and excited by the news. Catelyn Stark had also smiled appropriately and moved to congratulate her niece. As for the males of the Stark family he had noticed almost each one glare at him in turn, surely one if not all were plotting his death, especially the older ones maybe even the youngest daughter. The only Stark who probably wasn't plotting his death was the youngest of them all – Rickard or Rickon was his name, he was simply too young to truly know what is going on.
The candles flickered, they were burning low. As much as he knew that he should get some sleep it eluded him. Despite how the entire night went all he could find himself thinking about was Alysanne. He pictured her eyes when they had danced, they had been deep, endless…. Her eyes were grey with flecks of silver, bright like stars. He remembered her when he had watched her dancing with her father and the deeply stunned look on her face when he assumed she found out she would be marrying him and the look when she had turned to face him, her eyes that had been sparkling when they were dancing were now just as stark as her last name would suggest.
Jaime had watched her rush from the Great Hall as soon as she was able to gracefully leave the horde of people lined up to congratulate her on her coming nuptials. He should not have been so concerned, he had barely known her a day. One conversation and a dance did not make him in love with her like the romantic stories and songs would say. However she was to be his wife, in two days no less.
Sighing Jaime put the goblet down on the desk and rose from the seat he had been occupying. He looked to the parchment that was spread across the desk. No doubt he would receive a raven from his father in the morning or the next eve – likely to be filled with orders for him as the new heir to Casterly Rock. All in all he had little to complain about his bride to be, she was pretty and courteous – everything a proper wife should be.
Suddenly the door to his room opened slowly, he turned and was greeted with the sight of his golden haired twin slowly creeping in through the small gap of the door. Once she was inside she quickly slid the door closed. As Cersei lifted her head and looked to him with green eyes that matched his own he sighed lowly and gave a shake of his head.
"You shouldn't be here." He said lowly, even though this place was not the capitol there was no telling who might be around to see the Queen sneak into her twin brother's room in the dead of night. Even though he was leagues away Varys was always spouting out how he had his 'little birds' everywhere in the Seven Kingdoms.
"Someone might have seen you." Jaime continued as he paced to the window, drawing it closed fully.
"No one did." Cersei assured him as she crossed her arms around herself and adjusted the silk shawl she had wrapped around her. Jaime gave her a sceptical look, this was not King's Landing, there was no way that they could know the people or the keep as well as they should to be sure that they were not seen sneaking about.
"No one saw me Jaime." She insisted with an edge to her voice.
"What are you doing here?" he then asked as he leaned his arm against the stone frame of the window.
"Will you not even look at me?" his twin asked him and a sigh escaped the other lips. He tensed for a moment and then turned and faced her.
It would be a lie to say that he wasn't affected by the golden beauty standing across from him. It was one of the reasons that they had done what they had done, not once, not twice but again and again. Looking at Cersei was seeing himself, the other half of him… or so they had always told themselves. To make their affair okay, they tried to reason it out that it was meant to be - that they could defy every rule and sense of honour that existed just because they wanted to be together.
For a few long moments they just stared at each other. Jaime could see a parade of emotions flash across Cersei's emerald eyes. Everything from angry, to hurt, to sad to betrayed and even regret. After a few minutes he had to lower his eyes to the floor to avoid her gaze. He was sure that many emotions were being shown through his eyes, each one painful and deep.
"So you are really going to marry that Northern chit?" Cersei finally asked, to anyone else she might have seemed calmed as she asked him, but Jaime could recognize the silent storm that was brewing inside of her, the venom slipped down just a little as she avoided using Alysanne's name.
"Your husband deemed it to be, so has father." Jaime said lowly. Turning his head he quickly glanced at her and then looked away, gazing towards the hearth that was still glowing with embers. "You sure picked one hell of a time to start caring."
"What makes you think I never cared?" she asked him sharply.
"I believe it was the night after you gave birth to Tommen, you told me you couldn't do this anymore." Jaime said as he closed a couple steps between them his hand wildly gesturing between the two of them. "You told me that we had to stop, for the good of the children." He continued placing heavy emphasis on each word.
"You did not see me for three weeks after that, you made it clear you wanted to move on and so I did the same, but now that I will marry someone else you care?" he then asked.
"You like her…" Cersei accused lowly. "I saw it while you were dancing…. You are attracted to her."
"Is that a crime?" Jaime asked as he turned and paced the room with long strides. "-that I find my bride to be pretty?"
"She's a child." She said venomously. This statement cause Jaime stopped and turned to face the twin, staring at her with wide incredulous eyes. The realization that dawned on him left him stunned for a moment.
"You are jealous of her." He stated plainly and Cersei narrowed her eyes at him.
"Don't be ridiculous." She stated, her long fingers dug into the fabric of her shawl. Though she denied it he saw the way her brows furrowed and Jaime realized that he had hit the bull's-eye. Though Cersei may be able to put on a mask of indifference for her husband and for the rest of the realms, but for him that mask did not work. He had known her since before they were born, there was quite literally no part of her that he didn't know.
"But you are." Jaime stated once again. It was a strange concept to now have the tables turned in their relationship. For so long they had hidden what they did, knowing it would be their lives if they were ever caught. Jaime had endured watching his twin marry another man, stood guard at the door when they completed their wedding night. For years he had to watch her with another and pretend it had not bothered him. And it did bother him, but Jaime knew the way of the world. Cersei was required to perform her wifely duties. It even bothered him when he gave birth to her first boy, the only true son she ever gave to Robert Baratheon. That child did not survive, but Jaime remembered looking at the babe and wanting to kill yet another King, this time for deeply personal reasons. Yet he had endured all that for Cersei, because he knew in his heart that she only loved him and never cared for her drunk and fool of a husband.
But now it was Cersei's turn to watch and endure yet she stood before him green with jealousy and he suspected prepared to do anything to stop this wedding.
"You belong with me." She said steadfastly, no waver or hesitation in her voice.
"Do you propose that we will tell your husband then?" he questioned as he hands clenched into fists at his sides in frustration and his eyes narrowed. She waited years to tell him this? To let him go and then try and take him back? To bring this all back up again just when he had thought it was all over?
"Perhaps we will announce it at breakfast, tell the Stark while we are at it." He added his green eyes darkened as he looked her way, and Cersei's did the same. Even as angry as he was in that moment, Jaime felt the need – the urge to rush to his twin and take her in his arms. For so long he lamented the loss he had felt between the two of them. To see her constantly and silently wish for her to come back to him. Even after all this time… it still felt fresh to him.
When it came to Alysanne he did not know what to truly think. By all accounts and with little interaction he had, had with his bride to be she seemed a sweet, dutiful girl – young to be sure but that was not an unappealing trait. Even Tyrion had remarked a few times about how many lords would line up to have such a bride for themselves. Yet Jaime felt very much a prisoner to this engagement, marrying who he was told too, by Robert Baratheon no less. The King had never held back his disdain for the Kingslayer, but as far as choice of brides went if Robert had truly wanted to punish him he could have chosen far, far worse.
"Don't marry her, Jaime… for me." Cersei turned to pleading to him. She stepped forward, closing the space between them and her hand reached out to touch his arm. It was a light, gentle touch - one that used to center his world, but now was both foreign and comforting.
"I've done many things for you dear sister." He stated and was slow to shrug off her touch. Clearly as much as he wanted to remain angry, it was hard, so very hard for him to be angry with her. Especially when she looked to him like that.
"I followed you to King's Landing, I joined the Kingsguard so we wouldn't be separated… I gave up all honor I had for you… They call me a man without honor, that was the Starks only hesitation in even agreeing to this match. Now you ask me for this last piece of honor I can cling too?" he asked her. In all the years he had very much pretended that he was not bothered by the talks of the people. The names that they called him, the way they spoke of him. Tyrion had once counselled him to ignore it all, for there was much worse things to be called. But as a knight he had sworn many vows and one was to maintain himself and to be honourable. "- and for what? So I might be your secret lover again? Or do you just not want anyone else to have me?" he then questioned.
As green as Cersei's eyes were they could hold more ice in them than any Northerner could hope to muster. The soft snapping noises from the fire in the room filled the silence between them. He knew if she could, Cersei would be yelling at him in that very moment. However if she were to do that someone would surely hear and they would be discovered.
"We belong together Jaime, you know it and I know it. Nothing will change that, not Robert and certainly not this wolf bitch." Cersei said to him as she stared him down.
"So you have said, but you only come back the moment another woman is offered to me. I tire of this, go back to your room, we cannot be seen." Jaime said and his hand came up and his rubbed his brow tiredly. First morning light was nearly upon them and the servants of the household would soon rise and start their day, one of them was sure to see Cersei if she did not go soon. Someone would see and there would be more whispers about what the Lannister twins really were to each other. Of course Cersei knew this and her eyes darted to the door as if she expected it to open at any time.
"This conversation is not over Jaime." The Queen stated heatedly as she moved to the door.
"This conversation is over, my wedding is in two days as your husband proclaimed. " he spoke to her back and saw her froze with her hand on the doorknob.
"We will see about that." He heard her say though it was likely not meant for his ears. He watched her with trained eyes as she opened the door and slipped out and it closed with a creak and a sound thud. Jaime strode to the desk and grabbed the goblet he had, had before. In a swift motion he brought it up to his lips and tossed it back into his throat, gulping the remains in one motion. He slammed the cup down it such force that the metal dented into the wood. Bracing his hands on the edge of the desk he hung his head.
Why did she have to come? Could she not have just let him believe that she was over him as he had suspected for so long? His eyes slid closed and he sighed, memories flooded his mind - thinking of the many trysts that they had shared. He remembered fucking his sister in the gardens late at night, in small rooms about the Red Keep, never using the same one twice so no one might figure them out. The image of Cersei spread below him had filled many pleasant dreams and as he looked forward to his wedding now it was hard to envision a brunette in Cersei's place. What would it be like to take the maidenhead of his bride?
Sleep would likely elude him for the night, thoughts of Cersei usually did. Again and again he cursed in his mind as he felt the hot stiffness on the inside of his breeches, it ached for the woman with golden hair who had just left.
"Damn her." Jaime muttered to himself.
Was this quite what you guys were expecting? I know that some of you have been wondering about when I would address the Jaime x Cersei aspect of the story - and well here you go. Clearly I am taking it a slightly different way than canon has it. My version of Jaime is conflicted, while this story will have him be slightly OOC I do imagine that in this AU he feels a larger moral conflict with himself over his feelings/relationship with Cersei. When I first start into the world of Game of Thrones I hated this pair with a passion but ever since season two I did see a different side of Jaime (though I admit his relapse to his old character traits in season six has me angry once again), and I wanted to see a version of Jaime that was more like that.
So now what do you think will happen? Will Jaime resume a relationship with Cersei again? Is Bran going to see them in the tower? - or even fall? Will Alysanne ever find out?
ALSO! here comes my first fic recommendation;
The Dragon Born by NutellaFairy29: Rescued as a babe by Lord Eddard Stark, the daughter of Rhaegar Targaryen and Elia Martell, always knew her life was seen as a mercy. She lived always fearing, never safe, never knowing when Robert Baratheon would want her head. With a war amongst Kings rising, a dragon forged from ice shall rise from the flames. And will take back what was stolen from her, with fire and blood.
Is a well thought out tale filled with delightful OC's and a wonderful AU. Extremely well written and exiting, highly recommend it to anyone, especially if you are looking for fire, dragons and all around badass-ness from the female heroine.
