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Thea & Dean Series
Ghosts
He's been with Lisa for months now, trying to move on from hunting, from all the loss, the pain. Going back to her seemed like the right thing to do, it was what Sam had wanted. He feels bad about Bobby, leaving the old hunter to his own devices but he'd promised, promised to leave the business all together.
After all, Dean Winchester is a man of his word.
It's not as hard as he'd imagined it, this apple pie life, he likes having someone to come home to at the end of the day. Enjoys being needed, in being a hero for Ben.
Every now and then the ghosts of his old life come to haunt him. There's Sammy, who looked up to Dean, who trusted Dean to save him. Then there's Sam, the strong little brother who saved them all. Sam surrounded by hellfire, Sam with black eyes.
Thea comes just as often as Sam does. Toffee eyed, free spirited Thea. Thea with long brown hair, curling at the ends and a bright smile. Other time's she's covered in blood, telling him how she died, reminding him that he was her downfall.
Sometimes when he rolls over and reaches for his bedmate, he expects her. Sometimes he can even fool himself into thinking it's Thea not Lisa next to him. But the smell is all wrong, the curves aren't there and he reminds himself that this is Lisa. Thea is gone, never coming back. This is the life he has now, this is the way it is.
Every couple of months he'll tell Lisa he has to work late. He really doesn't, but he has to remember the old Dean, remember the family he once had. Mum, Dad, Sam, Bobby, Thea. He grabs a bottle of jack and drinks, crying and yelling and talking to people he desperately wishes were with him.
Sometimes Thea curls herself around him, sad eyes look into his and she tells him, be happy. You're alive. Lisa and Ben love you. He tells her he'd trade it all, everything he has to have them back. It only makes her eyes fill with sorrow, one day she tells him, one day we'll all be together again. When you're old and grey and you've lived a long full life, we'll all be together again. He believes her, he always does. He begs her not to go, to stay with him until he falls asleep and she always does.
He knows Lisa has heard him call out to her, she never mentions it. Never asks him about her and to be honest he doesn't know if he would-could-tell her. He loves Lisa, loves Ben, he'd do anything for them. Deep down he knows it's never going to be the way he loves Thea, because he still does lover her. She's with him, carried about in his heart.
He threw out all of Lisa's perfume one time, she'd decided to try and new fragrance and it was the cotton that had always belonged to Thea. It brought tears to his eyes, reminded him of her and he'd emptied it in a move of self preservation.
He couldn't bare the smell of it, wouldn't delude himself into believing Lisa was Thea. He wouldn't hurt Lisa like that, couldn't ruin Thea's memory.
Instead he'd went out and picked up a spiced cinnamon, something or other for Lisa. It was strong, sensual, and completely unlike Thea's fresh cotton.
When Ben shows him a flyer for a muscle car event in the next town over, asking Dean if he could "pretty please take him. Dude, cars, muscle cars!" He'd caved.
Dean had been chatting with a guy who owned a pretty sweet 1967 Chevrolet Challenger when he'd seen Her. Cut off denim shorts, white wife beater with a plaid over-shirt and cowboy boots, her hair long and loose. She'd been standing next to a cherry red mustang, looking directly at him. She'd smirked at him and the next thing he knew she was gone.
That night he had been short with Lisa, starting an argument over pretty much nothing that had ended up with him ultimately sleeping on the couch.
He had to be losing his mind, she looked all too real that time.
It was the last time she visited him.
