For my friend and her fabulous Bruce Banner pick-up line: "Come at me, Tony, you know you want some of this fine, gamma-radiated ass."

Warning for super corny scientific pick-up lines because, much like Bruce here, I don't know how to flirt either.


Bruce had never been one for flamboyancy.

Well, okay, maybe flamboyant wasn't exactly the right word. But he'd never found much joy in over-excited flirting or corny pick-up lines or any of that, mostly because he wasn't very well-acquainted with any of them. It wasn't as if people were constantly flocked around him, drooling over how hot and gorgeous and what a sexy nerd he was, and of course he didn't dare do that to other people. Maybe he could have if he tried, but that wasn't exactly at the top of his priority list. He very clearly wasn't Tony Stark.

But Tony Stark was Tony Stark, obviously, and he wasn't about to let Bruce slide on not returning any of the rather ostentatious flirting he'd done before (and after) they'd gotten together.

"You know I can't flirt for life of me, Tony," Bruce had said, just as he'd been fighting off an eye roll at Tony's ridiculousness. "It flew over my head when you – apparently – flirted with me, do you really think I can return the favor?"

As always, Tony hadn't had a doubt in his mind. "'Course you can," he'd responded easily, clapping Bruce on the shoulder before he had turned around towards the exit. "Surprise me, Banner." Bruce had only sighed in reply, turning back to his work and hoping Tony would forget.

He didn't.

So there Bruce sat, his fingers tangled in his tousled curls as he hunched over his lab table. Tony had just left for about the fourth time that day after about the seventh time reminding Bruce that 'hey, you better get working on that flirting of yours,' and Bruce wasn't even sure where to begin. It wasn't even a big deal. Or at least it shouldn't have been, because really, it was flirting, and Bruce was sure that Tony would appreciate any of the half-assed attempts that he would make at it. Still, though, it was a little intimidating to try to flirt with the man who could basically get anyone and anywhere he wanted with a swift remark and a wink of his eye.

I should just get this over with. Bruce sighed and pulled himself to his feet. It would be quick, he told himself, quick and painless. Well, he hoped so, because things that involved trying to compete with Tony's classic snark were very rarely quick (the engineer had a tendency to go on, and on… and on…). Still though, Bruce forced himself out of his lab and towards the room they shared, knowing that's where Tony would have retreated by now. The walk up was spent racking his brain for something, anything he could possibly use to at least get a laugh out of Tony – well, he was sure anything he said would get a laugh out of Tony. The man found these kinds of things amusing, apparently.

When Bruce finally entered the room, Tony looked up from the tablet in his lap and a grin immediately stretched across his face. "Hey," he greeted, settling himself back against the pillows once he'd gotten a good look at his boyfriend. "What brings the lab rat up here?"

Bruce rolled his eyes, but not without sweeping an appreciative glance over Tony's body. His torso was bare and all he wore on the bottom was a pair of flannel pajama pants, and Bruce got the feeling that it was every bit intentional. "Just wanted to see what you were doing," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and doing his best to imitate Tony's rather sultry saunter. It came off more awkward than anything, which was apparent by the traces of the smirk he could tell Tony was fighting.

Tony quirked an eyebrow as Bruce moved closer, setting his tablet aside in favor of folding his arms loosely over his chest. "Really?" he replied slowly, almost teasingly. "I would have thought you'd be trying to get some sleep or something, you've been locked in that lab for days. How many hours of rest have you even gotten lately?"

"Not sure." Bruce shrugged, making an effort to keep his voice as smooth as possible as he sat lightly on the edge of the bed. "But I'd be willing to lose a few with you."

"Mmm," Tony hummed softly, his lips losing the battle and twisting into a satisfied smirk at the corners. "Good one. That's hot."

Bruce couldn't help the small answering smile on his face, pressing his palm onto the bed to lean his weight on his arm. "Hot?" he repeated quietly, his eyes very obviously sliding over Tony's body while his tongue ran over his bottom lip. "Please, you're so hot that you denature my proteins." Christ, Banner, really?

"For real? We're using science now?" Well, it wasn't as if Bruce hadn't expected that kind of response from Tony. "In that case… maybe you're calcium bicarbonate, 'cause if I get you wet, the reaction will be explosive." Tony grinned deviously and lifted a hand, grazing his fingers down the skin of Bruce's arm until he reached the doctor's hand, linking their fingers together.

"Come at me, Tony." Bruce's voice was low, husky. "You know you want some of this fine, gamma-radiated ass."

Tony chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at Bruce for a few moments. "Oh my god." He didn't really have a response to that one other than a wide grin and a burst of short, sharp laughter, the corners of his eyes crinkling in mirth. "Oh my god, seriously?" What started out as a few short chuckled turned into a full round of hearty laughter and he sank into the pillows, pulling Bruce down along with him.

"What?" Bruce asked, not bothering to try and fight off the grin on his lips and the beginnings of a chuckle. Tony's laughter was undoubtedly extremely contagious. "I thought that was a good one." Tony looked as though he was trying to respond but couldn't quite get the words out, and it wasn't long until Bruce found himself dissolving into the same fit of hilarity as the man beside him. He could feel Tony vibrating with laughter against him, and after a few minutes of it all, Bruce's stomach was thoroughly cramped and he wasn't even sure he'd be able to get words out through the rawness of his throat, but somehow he managed.

"I love you." The words slipped easily off Bruce's tongue, not as if they were practiced, but just casually, like it was something they'd both just known all along.

Tony managed to peel his eyes open at the words, looking down at his partner's face tucked against his shoulder as he smiled again, gently and genuinely. "I love you too," he replied effortlessly, leaning in to kiss Bruce's nose where it had crinkled in laughter, just the way Tony always adored. "And your fine, gamma-radiated ass."