Aaaah, this wording looks awkward to meee! Lol, I'm not on my personal computer right now so everything looks odd.*

Back-to-back updates! Heeeeeeck yeees!

You're only as smooth as you pretend to be

Xelia really wasn't having a good day. She felt extremely uncomfortable in her new uniform, which pretty much consisted of a Playboy bunny suit with tails, to resemble the men's tailcoats. The more high-class customers frowned upon her hair, whispering harsh words about it. She never understood why odd colored hair automatically deemed you as a "ruffian", but she supposed that once the people got over the initial shock factor, they'd just accept it.

"Xelia, table eight's order is ready." One of the cooks announced over the little service window. The dinner service was half way over, and had gone surprisingly smooth; no explosions, no rogues, and no complaints so far. She hadn't even seen her boss, Mr. Cobblepot, around anywhere.

She quickly grabbed up the plates from the window and headed back into the dining room, concentrating on not tripping. At table eight was one of those stuffy business men, the large diamond on his cravat told Xelia that he was a wealthy patron; the diamond, and the fact that he had one of "the best seats in the house". The man's gaze made her uneasy, as if she was an item on display. Goosebumps spread across her exploded flesh, as to if it was from the man's hungry gaze, or from the cold, that was yet to be determined.

"Here you are, sir." Xelia with all the politeness she could muster at the moment. He cheekily smiled at her with, what Xelia assumed, would be his most dazzling smile; to Xelia he just looked like a grinning fox.

"Thank you, my sweet." His classy British accent only added to his stereo-typicalness.

"Tell me, how long have you been employed by Oswald?" The fact that he called Mr. Cobblepot by his first name so casually told Xelia that he more than likely knew him personally. She glanced around a bit, looking for an escape from the awkward situation.

"This is my first night." Xelia said, hoping her short answer will deter him from any further questions. After a few more questions Xelia finally got a chance to slip away. As she was leaving the man's hand strayed to her backside, causing her to jump and whip around, her eyes burning with a rarely seen fury. The man just raised a brow, as if it was an out of line reaction for her to have.

"Something wrong, sweets?" Xelia could feel her face growing red as she furrowed her brow at the man.

"I'd prefer it if you refrained from touching me." She said slowly, trying not to loose her cool over the petty situation; she did after all have bills to pay, so losing her job wasn't exactly on her to do list.

"What's wrong, sweets? Don't like to play, huh?" He smiled at her again, while Xelia just frowned at him, unimpressed.

"If you need anything else, then let me know." She said as she quickly dismissed herself from the situation. She quickly flitted off to find Todd, her assigned manager, to see if he would get someone else to cover that enable for her. It was only her first night and already she was ready to look for another job. The last thing she wanted in a job was people touching her while she was half naked. Or in general, for that matter.

"Hey, Todd, I..." She pursed her lips for a moment, trying to find the correct words. "I'm not so sure that this position is working out." She watched as Todd's smile faltered when the words registered in his mind.

"What is wrong, if I may ask." He seemed to deflate upon Xelia's words, which was understandable; she now knew why they couldn't keep their waitresses.

"Aside from the revealing uniform and the lecherous patrons, nothing." Todd already figured that those were the reasons, those were always the reasons. He had a suspicion that the patron Xelia was referring to was one of Mr. Cobblepot's friends. Normally, if one of the customers were to touch a waitress, they would promptly be shown to the door; Mr.Cobblepot's friends were the only exceptions, only to a small degree, that is, being as they usually have some kind of behind the door deal going on.

"Ok, we'll talk about it to Mr. Cobblepot." Todd led the way to the back room, which Xelia had heard was where The Penguin was still in operation. As they entered, Xelia couldn't help but be impressed. The room was filled with lavish decor, paintings, all sorts of birds that had been preserved through taxidermy, and sculptures; all which were most likely stolen. Xelia raised an eyebrow as a large bouncer blocked the doorway to another room. All Todd had to do was just nod at him, the bouncer moved and nodded back as they entered the room.

"Oh, look, it's Tootles! Oh, and what a pleasant surprise! It's the Technicolored little fishing lure!"

Xelia looked unimpressed as she, once again, stood before a laughing Joker.

This was one of those boring "get somethings worked out" chapters, but the end was good right? right?

As to why The Joker calls Xelia a fishing lure, is because last time they met, he used her as a lure for Batman.

Good bye, so soon (I don't remember the rest of that soooong)