MY LIFE TO GIVE

It was the way our luck went; every person that had died had been cremated of shipped off to their home state. Apparently no one that lived in Kingston Beach was originally from here at least any of the victims.

I hit the steering wheel of the Impala in frustration. I had to break into a funeral home just to find out that my brother is fucked.

Somehow I had to convince him that I could protect Beau long enough to kill the wraith. I am probably going to have to play dirty to do it.

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If Sam could see me now he would be annoyed that I had decided to have sex before I die. He wouldn't be surprised just annoyed. Hey as many death experiences as I had had well why not get laid just in case the next one stuck. Besides I want Beau so much she fulfills me.

I feel the climax climbing through my gut so I pull back I don't want it yet I don't want to come until I am deep inside of her looking in her eyes for maybe the last time.

I kiss her hungrily letting the feeling calm for just a minute then I move myself between her legs and I rub my hard cock against her wetness as I continue to kiss her making sure to hit her clit with every motion until she is so wet and needing me to fill her.

I can feel the fever burning through me the bad one and the good one and the pain just at the edge of the ecstasy. It was something new for sure. I had to leave her with something good not just the memory of my dying.

She is mewling moving against me getting desperate for me to enter her. I kiss her and slowly began to enter her. Her moan absolutely intoxicating which in turn made me moan. She is all I need right now.

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I am having sex with a dying man, a man that I now have feelings for and it is killing me. It isn't easy to stay in control because I really just want to start bawling and hold him maybe for the last time and that just makes me want to make sure that he is fulfilled.

The way he kisses me is desperate and not for himself I can't believe it he is trying to make it good for me he was leaving me a good memory. The man is dying and he is still thinking about others. I moan in pleasure and with the pain in my heart that this is causing me as he enters me. It felt good even in these circumstances. He moans too and staring into my eyes he makes the sweetest love to me. It was impossibly delicious and he has me so primed.

I don't want to lose him and come hell or high water I'm not going too.

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I make sure to make love to her in a way that she is going to erupt like a volcano, hot lava flowing mixed with my own.

I thrust into her intensely but slowly and her moans are fuel for me, making me moan just as much. She calls my name and even with all this I can see the sadness in her eyes, how can I believe that I can make it go away. I sent us over the top with a final thrust. We tremble with the fabulous ecstasy that passes through us. We held each other tight knowing that this is probably the last time that we ever well that last time of everything.

I can't stay conscious much longer so I push off of her collapsing backwards on the other side of the sofa.

I groan in pain and she is calling to me as I fade away. I love you was the last thing I heard.

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I stare flabbergasted at Dean who was now out cold again. He says I love you to me as he starts to fade away. I know better than to take it seriously the man is burning up with fever but my heart still flutters. I jump up getting him fixed up and myself and I do it just in case Sam returns.

He does and I know he has failed just by the way he parks the car, my heart sinks and I take Dean's hand and I cry.

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I hope that Dean doesn't hear the way that I park the Impala because I will get a new one torn sick or not.

I let myself in not worried about offending Beau. I feel complete panic when I see her holding Dean's hand and crying. I think that he has died while I was gone and my knees nearly buckle and I can't breathe.

She turns to look at me and I see the rise and fall of Dean's chest. The relief is unbelievable. I can't lose Dean again, I just can't.

I move toward them and I sit close to Dean on the sofa at his hip and I can feel the fever burning through him without touching him.

"I was afraid to give him anything for the fever." Beau whispered. "I just tried to keep him cooled down."

I am torn at how sad she looks and I grasp her hand tightly when she reaches for mine. It's all we have to cling too.

I don't even have to tell her that I failed she knows because if I had a way to save my brother I'd have yelled to the world the second I found it.

"Is there another way Sam?" She asks.

"The wraith has to die." Is all I tell her, I am not afraid of my brother but I know his temper and I have seen him kick some major ass when he by all right shouldn't have even been conscious, Dean's anger is volatile to say the least.

As if he can sense me his eyes open and he sighs because he knows instantly that I failed.

"I'll get some drinks." Beau offers giving us time alone.

"Dean I can't let you die." I whisper.

"Sammy you tried." Dean squeezes my hand.

"How can you say that when you know damn well there is another way?" I growl.

"Sam I can't let you or Beau take the risk."

"Do you think I give two shits if I die trying to save you?"

"That's the problem Sammy, what if you die and you save me what's the fucking point then huh?"

"Dean please." I try what he calls the puppy dog look. "The wraith is still going to be after her if you die and I won't be able to do shit if I lose you."

"Sam I can't…." He stops and grimaces in pain and I feel it too, my brother is dying and he won't let me save him.

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I lean against the kitchen counter crying hard but trying not to make any noise. I can see Dean and Sam talking and I see the terror on Sam's face. Dean is reassuring him and I can see that Sam has lost Dean before somehow just by the sheer agony on his face

I see Sam's face turn to a sad pleading face and I almost laugh. He could get away with murder with that look.

I see him jump to help Dean when he is suddenly in more pain.

I want to break shit, how in the hell did things get so good and so fucked in just a couple of days. How in the hell does crap like this just happen? I meet a hot guy on the beach after midnight, had the most unbelievable passionate time with him and now he's dying on my sofa.

I can't let that happen and I hear Sam saying the wraith has to die the wraith that just happens to want me and in that instant everything clicks into place and I know what I have to do. I remember thinking not too long ago that there were not many men worth dying for and my heart races because Dean is one of those men, he can't die he's a hero people need him, Sam needs him, I need him.

He barely knows me at all and he's trying to protect me willing to die to keep me safe.

If he dies without me trying to save him I will go crazy. I grab a pad and pen off the counter and write a quick message. I stare at Dean and Sam for a minute then walk out the side door quietly.

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I don't want to die I don't want to leave Sam alone ever again but I can't let Beau take the risk, too many people have died because of me. I am so fucking torn and the pain is getting worse.

Sam activates puppy dog power eyes and I have rarely won against them especially when I'm weak. He says the wraith won't stop wanting to Beau and he's right, I start to consider it thinking that if I can muster enough strength to get in the mix we can try.

I see the relief on Sam's face and he jumps to go find Beau who has been taking an awful long time to get drinks.

I hear Sam curse and I'm sitting up in the next instant dizzy as all hell but I know before he tells me that Beau is gone and Sam hands me a pad of paper.

"I love you too." It says simply directly to me and I can't breathe. She has gone after the wraith herself. "Fuck Sam she doesn't even know what to do." I struggle to stand and I move I have to move or she dies, as soon as I say those three words to anyone I lose them when will I learn.

Sam already has the silver knives in his hand and he helps me out the door.

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As soon I reach the water I feel it calling me and I walk towards it going into the water letting it lead me.

The damn thing is sure that it has me because only pain breaks the spell. What the fucking bitch doesn't know is that right now I'm in agony the thought of Dean dying tearing me in two.

She's in my face eyes glowing red sick bony smile taking up her face and she can laugh under water.

'Laugh at this bitch' I think and I plunge my silver letter opener straight into her black heart. She stares blankly at me for just a second then a piercing scream fills my head and the water around explodes as she does too.

I try to swim up but she's not planning on dying alone. 'Please forgive me Dean, but I had to do it for you.' Everything fades.

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I feel the second that the wraith's power over me breaks I am still weak but I can move on my own. She did it somehow my girl did it the wraith has to be dead and I run praying that I will see Beau coming out of the water toward me and I want to be so mad at her but I just want to hold her, thank her, love her.

I gasp when none of that happens and all I see is her body floating face down in the water. I don't remember diving, I don't remember swimming I'm just suddenly holding her in my arms begging her not to leave me and I breathe into her blue lips sobbing at the same time.

"No, no, no!" I keep repeating as I finally get her onto the beach with Sam's help. "Beau please." I beg burying my face into her neck; she is cold, no heartbeat, and no pulse.

"Isabeau!" I scream.

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I watch in desperate sorrow as my brother's world shatters for the millionth time. He doesn't deserve this not Dean not the man that has helped save the world. Beau has saved him and I will be eternally grateful but the horrible pain that fills Dean hits me.

He is sobbing calling to her as he carries her out of the water and I help him as much as he'll let me, he does it all in automatic. I don't think he realizes that he's whispering reassurances to her that he'll take care of her and keep her safe as he tries desperately to breathe life back into her.

Nothing happens and he begins to sob so broken burying his face into her neck tears slip from my eyes seeing this.

He screams her name and I think that I have lost my brother anyway.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!