It's late evening before Ash finally decides to leave the embassies for home. Her stomach growls at her, angry with her neglect of it, and her back aches. She packs her files securely away in the filing cabinet and locks it with her omni-tool and Spectre codes.

She decides she'll go home, eat, take a nap, and then head back into the office to see what the VIs have ferreted out. Tapping on her omni-tool, and linking into the Spectre system, she sets the VI to give her an automated alert if they find anything useful in the receipts. Ash is glad she doesn't have to trawl through it. The VIs can distinguish patterns she can't see, and automatically parses through leads. She hopes that the receipts can link back to a physical address. It's a long shot, but she needs to find something for Shepard… and maybe even especially for Kaidan's sake.

She feels a twinge of worry for him as she locks the human Spectre office door, but knows if James ratted him out to Shepard, that he's well handled. Kaidan always was wrapped around Shepard's little finger.

He'd do anything for her. Die, kill, and even take a damn break.

"Good night, Spectre Williams," Dustan calls from his desk in front of the cells. "You drive safe."

"Thanks, Dustan," she responds, smiling as he sips deeply from a steaming mug of coffee. "Late shift?"

"Yeah," he sighs, setting the mug on the desk. "Wife is pissed, but what can I do? We need the money. She's having our fourth baby soon."

"Oh, I didn't know. Congratulations!" Ash says, stopping on her path to her skycar, and heading to the desk to shake his hand.

He smiles widely. "Yes. Was quite the little surprise. Bit of a war baby. You know." He grins guilty. "Peace celebrations sure were a doozy for a few months there… and well there was free wine at one of the shindigs."

Ash feels a little twinge of guilt as she pretends to laugh at his joke. She barely even knew the man was married, let alone met his wife and kids, and she sees him every single day. Kaidan was always better at the interpersonal crap.

"Well," she starts slowly. "If you're struggling at the moment, I'm sure everyone here at the offices would be glad to pass around a tin, you know. Chip in a little for a new skycar seat or whatever you need."

"Oh, no, Spectre Williams. No need. Spectre Alenko already organized one. Thanks to him we were able to afford a new cot and I'm not an exhausted wreck right now."

Ash mouth goes dry. "Oh. He already organized a collection? I missed it."

"Yes, couple of months ago now. In fact, he and Commander Shepard bought us this lovely gift card to that expensive baby boutique in Zakera Ward. Such a nice couple." He smiles at her again, and she nods dumbly.

"Yeah, they are." She tries to ignore how stupid she feels.

She always works really hard, sure. She has to. The Williams had finally made something of the family name. The Alliance gave her respect, and the alien Spectres even eyed her with envy. She and Kaidan were great together. Every single thing had been fought for with long nights, spilled blood, and being smarter and quicker than the rest. But to miss out on everything else…

She doesn't know if it's worth it anymore. Even Kaidan took breaks and seemed to manage. He takes care of his personal life. Shepard always comes first. If she has a bad night, sometimes he even takes the whole day off.

He visits his mom regularly, and always hangs out with James and his other close friends from the Normandy when they're on the Citadel. Ash can't even remember the last time she went and had a cup of tea with her mom.

She thinks she may have made a mistake saying no to drinks at the casino with James.

"How's Burke?" she asks Dustan, trying to move the awkward conversation along.

"Breathing." Dustan shrugs. "He hasn't spoken much yet, but I think the time he's been held has loosened his tongue more. Says he wants a lawyer now, and wants to make some more deals."

"Good, good." Ash nods. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. See what else he'll cough up." She steps away from his station, her boots clicking on the polished floor as she heads for the exit. "Night," she calls.

"You have a good night now, ma'am. Drive safe."


At home, she locks her door, and pads into her living room. She reflects that it's a bit of a mess, old books scattered everywhere, and half-filled glasses of water. She determinedly ignores it, her mind racing too much to focus on cleaning. Instead she heads into the small kitchen and scrounges up some cheese on toast, sating her growling belly.

Afterwards, she sits silent at her kitchen table, watching the lights from skycars flicker behind the blinds.

Half-heartedly she flicks through a worn book of poetry, not even noticing the words.

Ash picks at her nails. Her alarm clock ticks loudly from her small bedroom. She thinks of dancing, and drinks, and how James' face had fallen when she said no.

She rapidly realizes she's bored to death, lonely, and a bit of a workaholic. That just won't do. She used to be fun. She was the one who used to have to drag Skipper out, and bully Kaidan into loosening up.

She makes a snap decision and dials a number she knows off by heart on her omni-tool.

"Shepard," the voice on the comm says, the last syllable a high squeak.

Ash frowns. "Hey, Hero Lady. What are you up to?"

"Hey, uh, Ash," Shepard says slowly, sounding distracted. She pants a little.

"You alright?" she asks, hoping Shepard's not alone and on the verge of passing out or something equally drastic. "You sound weird."

She clears her throat, putting on a firmer voice. "Uh huh. Fine and… dandy."

"You don't sound fine."

Shepard giggles, actually giggles.

Ash is instantly suspicious. There's a splashing noise and gurgle in the background, and a deep, male laugh.

"Shh, Kaidan stop it," Shepard says through uncharacteristic squeals. "That tickles." Kaidan murmurs something Ash can't catch and Shepard laughs again. "Stop. You're so mean to me."

"Shepard… why do I hear water?" she says slowly.

"Because a hot tub is generally full of water."

"Why is Kaidan there?"

"Because Kaidan is generally in the hot tub with me."

Ash groans, sincerely regretting calling her. "Oh god. You guys are naked, aren't you?"

"Hell yes," she answers, not a trace of shame in her voice.

Ash covers her eyes with her hands, as if to could block out the mental images. "You're not actually, you know, and talking to me at the same time? Why did you answer the call?!"

"Well… not totally," she says, a little sly note in her words that tells Ash everything. "I answered because I thought if I didn't, you and James would come break the door down to check on me, or you had some kind of problem."

"OK, ew."

"So, what's up?" Shepard chirps. Ash hears Kaidan say something low and more water splash.

"Oh my god," Ash intones, incredulous at how brazen she is. "I can let you go?"

"No, no," she says, sounding like she's drank a lot of wine, or just woken up from a particularly good nap. "He's just gone to fetch me a drink. I'm just sitting here going all pruney. My hair's pretty now. We can chat. Quickly. What's wrong? You usually wouldn't call so late, Chief."

"It's James," Ash says, exhaling explosively, pushing strands of hair out of her face. "I don't know."

"OK." Shepard sounds more businesslike, and Ash suspects she sits up straighter in the tub. "What about him?"

"He asked me out tonight."

"That's great!" Shepard says a little too enthusiastically.

"Shepard, are you drunk?"

"No. I'm not allowed to drink." She mumbles something under her breath that might be 'Stupid Kaidan'.

"If I drink I might pass out and fall, and split my brains open, and I've heard that just really wrecks your day. Even my hot tub is more like a lukewarm tub since Kaidan doesn't want me fainting and drowning or some shit. Says he likes me. Something sappy like that."

She laughs again, and Ash thinks (not for the first time) that her sense of humor is extremely off color at times. Damn if Ash doesn't always laugh, though.

"Now stop deflecting and tell me what your problem is. You know I think Jimmy and you are great together, and I'm not just saying that."

"I said no," Ash moans. "But I really did want to go. Why did I say no?"

"OK, that's not so great. Oh, Ash. We'll sort you out," Shepard tuts. Ash thinks she sounds rather like a fussy mother hen, clucking over her wayward chicks. "Alright, caveat here: I am in no way qualified to give relationship advice."

"Noted." Ash pictures Shepard clapping her hands together bracingly, like they're about to embark on a deadly mission. Just like old times. "Tell me what you think anyway."

"Fuck him," she growls.

"I'm not angry with him! Geez, Skipper. You need to watch your temper."

"No, I mean literally."

"What?" Ash chokes out. "No! Shepard, please. That's our problem. It's all we used to do. Just because you and Kaidan have an overactive libido-"

"No, no, no." she says, and Ash hears more water splash. She suspects Shepard just waved her arms violently and soaked half her bathroom. "Listen. You're overthinking this. You're hot. He's hot. You're both nice, funny, successful, and really great for each other. But you keep bumping off each other, because you keep thinking too hard about this, and he doesn't think about it enough. Just fall together and see where you land."

"I can't just do that. What if it doesn't work out and things get all awkward?"

Shepard snorts. "Like it wasn't before? You'd practically jump out a window to avoid him for months."

"I guess so."

"Go out tonight, Ash. Forget work, and whatever happened between you before. Just go have fun and see where you end up falling. If it ends up being his bed, would that really be so bad? Be brave, and take the leap."

"Like you, you mean?"

She thinks about what Shepard has gone through, everything she fought for. Not just to live, but to even start a relationship with Kaidan. The wedding seemed like an insurmountable summit at times.

They got there, though, and kept climbing even past the summit.

"I'm not brave," Shepard says quietly. "Some things are just… sometimes there's no going back. Some people touch your heart, and you can't stop feeling things. No matter how hard you try. The falling isn't the hard part, believe me."

Ash bites her lip, getting up and moving into her bedroom to search through her wardrobe. "So you think I should meet him at the casino?"

She needs a nice outfit. Something that screams, 'I like you but what I feel for you scares me, please don't hurt my feelings or I'll kick your ass.'

Maybe her backless dress…

"I do." Shepard laughs, and Ash thinks how much she loves that sound. "Put your favorite outfit on. Have a dance. Have a margarita for me. Go have fun, you're only young once."

Ash scoffs. "Skipper, we all know you lied about your age when enlisting. Stop acting like you're forty."

"Shut up," she says with no heat, just fond grouchiness. "I can give you smug married woman advice if I want. It's like a rule, respect my authority."

Ash just laughs, hearing Shepard answer with that little smug snicker of hers. She's missed it. It was far too rare for too long.

She would suffer having to listen to Kaidan and Shepard make out in a hot tub to hear it.

"Just go have fun, Chief." There's a pause, and then Shepard purrs, "Hey, Alenko? Nice ass. Oooh, you brought me an orange juice. How risqué."

There another loud splash and then Ash can just hear his voice over the comm.

"Why thank you, ma'am," he practically purrs. "I could say the same."

Ugh. She's going to have to drink five martinis at the casino just to forget Kaidan's sex voice.

"Shepard, hang up the comm," Ash demands. "I'll leave you to your sordid affairs."

"Oh Kaidan, baby, baby, harder," Shepard croons, and Ash nearly trips over a pile of clothes on the floor.

"You're screwing with me, aren't you?" she gasps.

Shepard bursts into gales of laughter, and she can hear Kaidan's husky guffaws, too.

"You are," Ash accuses. "I'm hanging up. I'm gonna kick your ass next time I see you."

"You can try. Love ya. Go be nice to Jimmy. You be careful with him, alright? He's softer than he looks. Oh and if it's not on, it's not on."

"Yes, mom."

With that, Shepard closes the comm connection. Ash debates if she has time to shave her legs.

She opens a new connection.

"Hey, James? It's Ash. I was wondering if you still wanted to have drinks."


James sits at the bar in the casino and knocks back a shot. He's nervous, and probably shouldn't be drinking, but he needs the liquid courage.

He glances over at the entrance as he has been for the past thirty minutes, and that's when she arrives.

His shot glass drops onto the bar, forgotten.

She's a goddess in pure black.

Ash's hair is slicked back into a classy chignon, and she has small studded gold earrings in. Her dress falls to her knees, high necked and moderately fitted. As she turns to give a dirty look to a rowdy krogan across the bar, he has to swallow harshly. Her dress scoops to the middle of her back, bare skin and muscles hitting him right in places it's not meant to.

He thought the prettiest woman he had ever seen was Lola on her wedding day. He knows now he was wrong. It's Ash. It's always been Ash.

"Hey," she says as she draws near. "Sorry I'm late."

"Wow. I mean, it's fine. Thanks for coming."

She settles beside him at the bar, and he can't look away from her back.

"Like what you see?" she asks, smirking. She never did miss a trick. James' face heats.

"Nah. I mean, yeah. You look great."

"Thank you," she says quietly, and knocks back a shot. "I left work, and I realized…"

She plays with the rim of her glass, tracing her finger around it over and over. James places her hand over hers, stilling the nervous motion.

"You realized what?"

Ash turns to face him fully, her dark eyes luminous in the casino's sparkling lights. She has sheer lip-gloss on her plump lips and he wants to kiss it off more than anything else in the world.

"I realized that we used to dream of what we would do with peace. I would lie in your arms in the back of the shuttle, or your bunk, or wherever we found a second, and wish I could do that with you, without being afraid. That the Reapers would go away so Skipper could relax, and Kaidan would smile again, and I didn't scare myself silly with thoughts of losing you," she says, gazing up at him. "I think I need to find some peace of my own, and I think that my peace includes you."

He takes a gamble, heart pounding, and places a large palm on her cheek. She shuts her eyes and leans into it.

James doesn't know what to say. He never does. She's so clever, and beautiful, and funny, and he always feels like some dumbfuck jarhead, lucky enough to snag a moment of her attention for one second.

"Cariño," he says instead. "I don't know anything. I just want to make you happy and all I wanna do right now is dance with you. Maybe we can see how we fall?"

Something he says makes her smile.

"Fall, huh?" She takes his hand, leading him to the dance floor. "I can learn to fall."

His arms come around her, like they were always meant to be there, and she places her hands on his shoulders as they begin to sway.

His palms touch her bare back. She shivers.

"James," she whispers. "I'm not good at this."

"Neither am I."

He leans in, and she watches his eyes the whole time. The dance floor seems to slow for him, time halting. He's missed her more than anything since the war ended, his one bright spot.

Slowly, he presses his lips to hers, and her eyes flutter shut.

He means it to be chaste, but it ends up anything but. The lip-gloss tastes like strawberries as it comes off. Her mouth opens beneath his, as he runs his hands up and down her back.

Eventually they pull apart, and he can't help grinning. Neither can she.

"What do you say?" Ash whispers, pressing small kisses to the side of his mouth. "Am I the same as before?"

"Better."

She laughs, and he thinks that he never wants this night to end.


Ash doesn't know how it happens. Really, she tells herself. She has no idea how she does those shots off the bar, those pretty ones with the pink flames.

She professes complete innocence when she shoves him into a bathroom and sticks her hands down his pants, having to spring apart when a grumpy turian woman walks in.

It's not her who shoves her tongue done his throat as they dance, and it's not her who laughs so loud at his jokes she snorts.

But, she admits, it is her who shoves him into a cab, and won't stop making out with him long enough to tell the driver her address.

She fumbles with the lock to her apartment, her omni-tool clumsy as she does her best to kiss James' lips off.

He pants harshly against her neck as she finally opens it.

"I've never been to your place. I can make coffee?" he says sweetly, but she grabs him by the front of his shirt and yanks him inside.

"No coffee," she mumbles, fastening her lips to his again. His hands are back on her back, and she thinks, Skipper, I fucking love you.

Her bedroom is dark and quiet, lights flickering through the blinds. She's drunk, but not nearly enough not to take pleasure in taking his shirt off and taking long moments to admire the view.

"Lieutenant," she croons. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

"Mi amor, you read my fricking mind," he says, pulling her dress straps down her arm.

She grins, and shoves him onto the bed, climbing on top of him.

"Let's see where we land," she breathes, pressing her lips to his again, her hair a dark, loose curtain shutting the world out as it falls around his face. His hands rise high on her thighs, drawing her dress up and off.

"Thank god I shaved my legs," she whispers, grinning to herself.

"I've seen you covered in blood and guts." He laughs. "You're hot in anything."

His hands slip past her panties.

Ash doesn't speak coherent words again for a long time.


The artificial morning light pounds at Ash's eyeballs begging her to wake up.

She groans, and rolls over, hitting a solid wall of warm muscle. Her own pull pleasantly, a good kind of pain that says she had only the best kind of fun last night.

She opens her eyes and sees James grinning at her, his arms wrapping around him. She smells sweat, and spice, and sweet Jimmy Vega. Her heart pounds, feeling too small for all it holds.

Is this how Shepard feels all the time? It's the best and worst thing she's ever felt.

"Good morning," he greets. "You are a sight for sore eyes." She giggles at the echo of last night.

"Hmm," she hums. "So are you."

He leans down and kisses her, and for once she doesn't feel the need to run away from him. Last night was perfect in every way. They feel right. It's time to let him in.

He won't stop smiling as he asks, "Eggs? You want eggs? I'm great with eggs."

"Eggs sound great." She gathers the blankets around her, watching as he gets up and rummages around for his pants.

She smirks. "Hey, Vega?" He looks at her, eyebrows raised. "Nice ass."

Shepard's not actually that bad at romantic advice, she thinks. Maybe a few of her lines wouldn't hurt...

"Not as good as yours, sweetcheeks."

She laughs again, but their banter is cut short by the shrieking of her comm.

Groaning, she rolls over and answers it, watching how James pauses, waiting for her.

"Williams, here."

"Ash, it's me."

She immediately knows something is wrong when Shepard's voice comes on over the comm. She sounds like she's crying.

"Skipper, what's wrong? Are you OK?"

"No, I'm not. Burke was found dead in his cell last night. Killed. His blood was spattered up and down the walls. Kaidan's been arrested for his murder, and assault of the cell duty officer. C-SEC came and arrested him from the apartment this morning. I nearly got into a scuffle with them, trying to stop them taking him. He told me to stand down. They slapped cuffs on him, Ash!"

She practically chokes out the last words.

"What?!" Ash yells, jumping out of bed, butt-naked and fumbling around for her clothes. "Why? What the hell?! Why wasn't I informed?"

"His DNA was all over the scene. His Spectre codes were used to access the cell door. They have footage," Shepard says it all in a rush, tears thick in her voice. "I tried to stop them with my Spectre authority but they say since I'm his wife and I was the one threatened, that I'm suspect and my authority is overruled when it comes to him. I'm heading to the Council now to demand his release." She practically pants, breathless and panicked, and Ash feels alarm for her. She doesn't sound well, and she shouldn't be alone. Not with a stalker on the loose.

"They revoked his fucking Spectre status. The Alliance is investigating. This is bullshit!" There's a metallic sound, and Shepard sounds furious, like she's stalking around the house and throwing her armor on.

Somehow, Ash doesn't think the timing of this was coincidental at all.

Without Kaidan around...

"He didn't do it, Ash. I know him. He wouldn't. Meet me at the Tower."

"Skipper, wait, James and I should take you."

"Screw that. I can't wait. I'm taking a cab. I'll show those sons of bitches that they owe me."

With that the comm winks out, and Ash knows nothing will ever be the same again.

"James, put your clothes on. Now. No eggs."