A/N:Don't own it, enjoying mangling it just a bit...oh, and it is supposed to be just a bit psychotic sounding...lol...
Have you ever watched as a relationship deconstructs itself? When it isn't your own, it is often quite fascinating to watch, if you don't care for the couple, it can also include a certain amount of glee. I had never cared much for Mary Margaret and David as a couple, for many reasons, and since my little trick, it seems that without true loves kiss, MM doesn't seem to care much about David that much, in fact, she doesn't seem to like him much as a person. I don't even have to spy on them, they are all the talk of the town. Whispers and rumors abound as the once sickeningly happy couple are no longer enjoying their vaunted fairy tale bliss. I only feel a stab of sympathy once in a while, and that is only because I know how much of an emotional roller coaster ride defying the curse can create. Even now, I feel the pain of being separated from Emma, and I am not a clingy person, so it isn't me feeling these things on my own. The only thing I am becoming convinced is truly ours is our sex life, since we are not being driven together to produce a child. MM seems content avoiding that aspect of their relationship, so perhaps Emma and I have something to work from on our own after this is all over.
I am actually convincing myself that I might be doing a good thing for MM, since she will be able to be her own person for once in her life. She will be the once making the decisions, not a spell or a curse, or even circumstances. All she needs is a little push, here and there to see that there is more out there then just a fairy tale ending to her life. It should be interesting.
XXXXXXX
One of the wonderful things about having a huge house on a huge lot with no one willing to just pop in unannounced (except Emma, she did that quite often in the past), is the absolute privacy my position offers me. With Henry spending the night at a sleepover, and Emma out of town, I had all that room to myself and a bottle of wine. About two glasses in and I was ready for dinner and conversation so I called Grannies and ordered a meal to be delivered. And, then I waited.
Thirty minutes later the door bell rang and I opened it to find Ruby standing there with a bag and a receipt. She looked ready to bolt, unsure why Madame Mayor would be ordering delivery of all things, I had to confess it was unusual for me, although Emma and Henry probably took advantage of the Old Woman's food, which even I had to admit was quite good.
I invited her in, and went to get my purse to pay her, and she stepped into the foyer like she was walking into the lions den...which I found funny, a wolf walking into a lion's den.
"Ruby, wait here and I will get you your money." I let my voice slur a little and loosened my walk. Ruby's gaze flashed down to the almost empty glass dangling half forgotten in my hand. I made a show of filling it before coming back with her money.
"Ok, Ms. Mills." Ruby's voice sounded a bit strained, and somewhat confused. It was no wonder, here she was in my home, and I was actually being nice, for me. It was also the full moon, which made Ruby a little, um, off and very intuitive which is somehow a part of her base nature. Everything I said and did tonight had to feel right, or she would know something was up.
After passing her the money, along with a generous tip, I hesitated for a moment, unsure how to proceed. I went to walk Ruby back to the door when I stumbled, hard on the marble flooring. Ruby caught me and rescued my glass of wine before I fell and hurt myself. She was quick, quicker then I thought, and with wolf night upon her, stronger then I remember. Her eyes went wide when she touched my arm, her nostrils flaring as she caught my scent. Was she smelling my confusion, my level of distress or feelings of loss? All the emotion was real, just not for the reasons she probably imagined.
"Madame Mayor, are you drunk?" She asked incredulously.
"No, I am not drunk." My voice held all the haughty conviction I could muster. "Not yet, at its my house and I will damn well do what I please in it."
I was leaning hard on the brunette woman next to me, my ankle had twisted and was starting to throb, making my attempt to hobble away a sad visage to say the least.
I could tell that Ruby was trying to digest the "not yet" part, she was having trouble reconciling who I was with how I was acting. This was no Evil Queen standing over her, but a miserable, half-drunk woman looking at her with pain in her eyes but unwilling to ask for help. Really, I couldn't go that far in my evening performance.
"Please, let me help you get off that ankle, it looks like it hurts." Ruby offered.
"Aren't you the just the Knight in Shining armor, Ruby." I quipped, trying to keep my dignity wrapped around me.
"Really Madame Mayor, what has gotten into you?" Ruby grunted under my weight. I almost smiled at the bold girl.
I let Ruby lead me over to the couch, where I flopped down ungracefully, allowing her to bring my ankle up onto the couch to raise it. I rather liked the pose, it was almost regal, this reclining position. Much better then standing in heels awkwardly.
"My wine?" I asked, earning an arched eyebrow as Ruby brought me my glass. I knew full well how this looked to her, and it was exactly what I wanted.
"Really, Madame Mayor, ah, Regina...is there something wrong?" She asked again, her need to know and the desire to help plainly etched on her face.
"No, Yes, maybe...oh, hell Ruby I don't know.." Ruby smiled encouragingly at me, I could tell that she was thrilled at the opportunity to offer her help, she wanted me to confide in her.
"Have you ever thought that something wasn't right, that the things that you thought were true all of sudden weren't?" I asked suddenly, the confusion in Ruby's face showing me she didn't understand what I was talking about.
"Look, you see me as I am now, and how I was before. I know that you think it is an improvement, but tell me...do I look happy?" I asked her, catching her eyes with mine, daring her to bring up the past. Not a single person in Storybrooke wanted the Evil Queen back, no, they wanted the tame Regina Mills, the woman whose teeth and claws were pulled when she fell in love with Emma Swan, my conscious and savior.
Ruby hesitated, her face reflecting her thoughts mirror like. Of course she preferred me the way I was now, no sane person would welcome the return of who I was in my former glory, but she also had her eyes and senses to see and feel what I was feeling.
"No, Regina, you don't look happy."
I leaned forward suddenly, letting my eyes blaze in righteous anger...
"And why am I not happy, Ruby? I was BLESSED with True Loves Kiss? Isn't that right, the savior, Ms. Swan she saved me and the town from the Evil Queen, didn't she? So, where is my happy ending then? Why am I not on the receiving end of this blessing?" I practically spit the words out, making Ruby lean back in her chair...she had seen me in the past taken by anger, it was dangerous to be near me then.
"I, I don't understand, Regina, I thought you loved Emma, it wouldn't have worked if there wasn't true love, would it?" I was forcing Ruby to question everything she had grown up believing, everything she still believed in. Those beliefs had made it easier to step aside and let Charming take her Snow, she couldn't and shouldn't fight true love, it was just not done.
"Oh, I love Emma, it pains me to admit it, but this Kiss, this CURSE has taken my free will away from me. I didn't get to explore these feelings, there was no slow progression, no romance, just an inexplicable and demanding need to be with her." Ruby winced when I called it a curse, but I could see the gears working in her head.
"And Snow and Charming, do you think they are blessed? I hear they are at each others throat, what has true loves kiss done for them?" I was playing devil's advocate, since I was the one that poisoned the woman in the first place, and of course we all know we got Emma out of the deal. It was so obvious that Ruby fell in line with just that line of questioning.
"Exactly, Ruby, Snow and Charming were put together so that Emma would exist, but did it make them happy? Was there any other path either of them would have chosen for themselves if they weren't driven together?"
I let that question sit and stew for a moment while I drained my glass, Ruby stood and filled it again without thinking, she was a good waitress at least. There was a certain look in Ruby's eye and I knew she was reliving a part of her past I wasn't sure she knew I was aware of.
"I'm sorry Ruby, I have been a morose hostess, and here you were nice enough to deliver a meal to me. Just forget about it, OK?"
"Um, sure Regina, you can talk to me anytime" Ruby stood to leave. " Um, Madame Mayor...do you really think that True Loves Kiss is a curse, not a blessing?" She sounded hesitant, as if afraid to hear the answer.
Sighing, I replied as truthfully as I could.
"Yes, Ruby, it has brought me together with Emma but it hasn't brought me happiness, nor do I think Emma is truly happy either. This clingy, stalkerish need to be together, it isn't who we are. I didn't think it was who Snow was either, but yet she and Charming came together as well. Look Ruby, I know that I caused you all a lot of pain in the past, I know it was me who unwittingly threw them together by, well, you know what I did. I know that gives me no right, but Ruby, I need to ask you one question."
Ruby nodded, once, her voice failing her.
"Ruby, have you ever thought what would have happened if you had kissed Snow that day? If it had been you and not Charming?" Ruby's face went from shocked to guilty, to horrified as she rewound her life, fitting that event into what could have been her future and fast forwarding it to now.
"But, Regina, there would be no Emma..." She gasped. I was unsure what bothered her more, that there would be no Emma, or that I knew, I knew about their past relationship.
"Exactly, no Emma and no curse. We will never know, will we? But, it is interesting, isn't it? the two people needed to bring Emma into the world so she would be here in this time and place to break my curse, that those two people were destined by some unknown power to succumb to True Loves Kiss?"
I sighed again, then looked down in my wine before speaking again.
"Just like me, true loves kiss took away my power and all my grand plans." I muttered into my drink, "In what universe is that what true love is supposed to do?"
"I find I am not really hungry, dear, why don't you just take my meal to Mary Margaret. I hear she is working late at the jail tonight, considering you won't be available. You can let yourself out, I am sure you understand."
I didn't look up until I heard the door latch click into place. Tonight should be interesting, to say the least.
