What Has Cooking Done?
Prompt: "Imagine your OTP deciding to make dinner at home instead of ordering in for once, and ending up laughing helplessly on the floor and covered in flour, tomato sauce, and a couple of eggs."
Genre: Humor
Many would say that the scariest thing they'd ever seen was the Reapers. Some might say Husks, or Cannibals, or perhaps Banshees (Shepard could remember feeling the worst shudders of fear whenever she hard that telltale shriek).
But what was in the Shepard-Vakarian household's kitchen topped both Shepard and Garrus' list of horrible nightmares.
"Holy shit! Shepard, shoot it!"
"I don't have a fucking gun!"
"Then stab it! Blast it with your biotics! Just kill it before it gets us!"
Finally reminded that she did have biotics, Shepard felt the burn of her amp in her skull as she blasted the thing with a small shockwave. The mass of…something just let out a little screech as it started to deflate and then suddenly exploded, spattering the Human and the Turian standing there with red and green and something sort of blue.
Shepard took a shaky step forward, towards the frying pan where the misshapen blob creature had once been, now just a mess of what had once been ingredients of some sort. Garrus peeked out from behind the chair he'd been hiding around.
"Is it…is it still moving?"
Shepard took another step closer, readying her biotics in case the mixture so much as twitched, and poked it with the end of a spoon. It didn't move.
"No, no, I think…yeah, it's dead."
Garrus let out a sigh of relief, wiping some of the remains from his mandible.
"Shepard, you are never, EVER cooking again."
"For once, I agree."
