Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! I hope you're having a wonderful week! I'm SO sorry for not updating! I feel terrible, but this week has been one crazy week!

I'M AN AUNTIE! My niece was born on 1/16 and I couldn't be more excited! Her middle name is half of the inspiration for Peeta and Katniss' little girl (I couldn't help myself. Not only does Pearl fit the story completely, but it's just so stinking cute!). Then I BECAME A BIG SISTER AGAIN! My little brother was born on 1/17, about 26 hours later! Happiest person on earth is QUITE the understatement! While my mom and sister were in the hospital, I had to take care of my younger sisters and go visit my little kiddos, so my free time was nonexistent. I apologize. But, now that everyone is home and my sister and little niece are staying with us, hopefully I'll have a little more time! Things are just SUPER busy, but since there are two babies, it's like working double time for everything! But I wouldn't have it any other way!

This chapter is a little more dramatic, but I thought it was needed before Pearl was born. Please review and tell me what I need to work on, what you liked, and all that fun stuff. The messages you send me are the best things ever; they make me smile! Again with the English; I apologize for any mistakes. I promise to update sooner now! Reviews would help in that category... just sayin' :) ;)

I hope you have a fantastic weekend filled with happiness! Enjoy!
Sper că aveţi un sfârşit de săptămână fantastică umplut cu fericire! Bucuraţi-vă!

The warm, dry air was difficult to suck in. It had the feeling of sandpaper as I tried to inhale, the sun beating down on Peeta and me as we went for our daily walk. Winter was gone, and now spring was on its way out too, leaving a dry and barren summer in its place.

Last week it had been lovely: warm and cheery. The leaves rustled in the wind, the birds were singing and the long grass of the meadow was swaying to its own song. Peeta had every window in the house open, and we spend the day baking, singing, laughing and smiling. The sun was pouring in from every window, illuminating everything in its path; the wind was soft and smelled like honeysuckle. It smelled like Peeta. Like home.

District 12 had changed a lot since then. The leaves were now starting to turn a brown, sickly color. The grass was dry and prickly. It hadn't rained for weeks; the sun had no clouds to hide behind. The sky was a brilliant blue, just like Peeta's eyes, but the sun was so bright that it hurt too much to notice. The dirt from the roads barely moved in the stagnant air, although every once and a while a huge gust would come out of nowhere, making the air almost too dusty to breathe. Everything was dry and dying. I hated this time of year.

The weather didn't stop Peeta and me from taking our daily walks. Now that I only had a few more months to go, I was almost itching to get some exercise. I wanted to be outside, walking around and enjoying the world. Thankfully, my stomach isn't too big. I have seen some pregnant women with bellies so large that I'm surprised they can even bear the weight. My belly is proportionate to my small, skinny frame, only sticking out a little. I'm sure I would grow more in the last months left then the whole beginning of the pregnancy.

Peeta's hand was warm and comforting in mine, and felt good against the heat from outside. His heat was a different kind; it gave me a cozy and safe feeling in contrast to the harshness of the weather. We were slowly meandering along the twists and turns of the back roads, taking our time with each step, our clasped hands swinging in between us.

A few children passed us, running down the street after a ball. They were sweaty from the heat but that didn't seem to bother them. We could hear them laughing behind us, and I couldn't help but smile. I saw their mother up ahead, hanging her laundry on a clothesline, smiling too. For the first time, I realized that we had a connection. I would be her soon, proudly grinning as my children ran down the street, laughing and happy. Before, my mother and I had nothing in common, but now… now we were the same in practically every way.

Suddenly, the through struck me. Peeta. His family. His whole family, gone. Dead. We hadn't talked about it for years, ever since we came home after the rebellion. He didn't seem to miss them, but he could be hiding it for my sake. He had no one left except Haymitch and me. Nothing and no one, and I never heard him complain or break down from sadness.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly, laying a hand lightly on my stomach. Sometimes it made a nifty hand rest.

"Hmmm?" he responded, kicking a rock out of his way.

"Do you miss your family?" I questioned, slightly worried that I might be making him remember terrible things.

"You are my family." He said, slightly confused about what I was asking. "You and her." He added, gesturing to my stomach.

I smiled at him sadly. "I mean your family; your mother, your father, your brothers. Do you miss them?" I breathed.

He sighed, squinting up into the bright sky. "I don't know Katniss, I…" he trailed off. "I miss my father. I miss him a lot, everyday. Sometimes I miss my brothers. But I don't think I've missed my mom once." He told me truthfully, and I squeezed his hand.

"Does that make me a bad person?" He asked quietly.

"What? No, of course not." I told him, leaving over to give him a clumsy kiss on the cheek. "You aren't a bad person, Peeta. You are the furthest thing from it." I reassured.

"I feel like I should miss her." He added after a short silence. "She was my mother after all."

"Family isn't always blood, and sometimes blood isn't always family." I told him softly as a big gust of wind picked up out of nowhere. The dirt from the street was thrown into the air, creating a small scale tornado of sorts. Leaves rustled around our feel as we coughed, spitting the dust from our mouths.

"I just wanted to help you in case you missed them." I said. "I feel like you help me much more than I help you. I didn't want you to continue hurting if there was something I could do about it."

He stared up at me, a certain look in his eyes. I knew what that look meant. That I shouldn't say things like that, because he loves me. Because I help him more than I'll ever understand. Because I'm all he needs, and I shouldn't be thinking those things since they aren't true.

He told me these things all the time, reminding me every day. He told me how much I meant to him, how much I helped him, how much he loved me. But even though I knew that I did, I didn't feel like I did anything what-so-ever to help him. I felt just as helpless as ever. All I wanted to do was make him feel better.

"I love you." He told me, rubbing my stomach calmly and smiling at me.

"I love you too, Peeta." I whispered back, the look in his eyes giving me goose bumps.

Another big gust of wind came out of nowhere while a smoky smell started to fill the air, making it slowly become hazy. Someone was probably cooking a big animal like a deer. If you were lucky enough to shoot one of them yourself, or buy it, people would usually cook it in the front yard and show it off, letting the neighbors have some pieces too. The fire smell didn't go well with this dry air or heat. Why on earth was someone making a fire on a day like this? Don't they know it will spread like wildfire?

We slowly turned the corner, coming onto a street that was near the town center. I could hear the crackling of the fire, and some people shouting; arguing about who gets the deer leg most likely.

Suddenly, Peeta was pushing me backwards as people rushed into the street, ripping his hand from mine. I searched for him in the crowd, icy fear shooting through my veins quickly. I pushed people away, most of them seemed to be fleeing anyways, and tried to get to him, but he waved his arms.

"Go! Go to Haymitch's, I'll be there soon!" he yelled, and I was as confused as ever. Why were people running? What was going on? Was there a protest? Was there a fight? If he thought I was leaving him, he was crazy.

It didn't take me long to figure it out. I looked up over the heads of the people in the crowd, and gasped at what a saw. Flames were engulfing a small house on the far end of the street, their red and orange fingers licking up the wooden sides. It was spreading, the fire catching onto the houses next to it. Screams were emitting from its burning floors, white sheets were being thrown out the window. The screams sounded like children. Smoke was billowing out the top and it made the air hazy, making it hard to see even from where I was standing. People were running away, charging at me as I tried to go against them, making my way towards Peeta. What was he doing?

"PEETA!" I screamed, pushing people out of my way as I tried to get to him.

"KATNISS, GO!" Peeta shouted as he continued towards the house. Why in the world was he going TOWARD it?

I opened my mouth to shout back to him, but the sound never made it out of my throat. Something hard and metal hit my head, making my ears ring and stars float into my line of vision. I struggled to keep my eyes open as I felt blood trickle down my neck, warm and thick. The edges of my vision were turning black as I reached my hand for Peeta, before collapsing in the middle of the road.

"Katniss…" I heard a raspy voice say, shaking me hard. I was on a hard surface, my muscles incredibly sore from being in the same uncomfortable position for a long time. I smelled smoke, coughing as it invaded my nostrils. I stirred, trying to move and open my eyes, but I couldn't pull them open. They seemed to weigh a thousand pounds.

"Katniss, can you get up?" the voice asked again as I fluttered my eyes open, a blurry Haymitch coming into view. I blinked rapidly, his face becoming clearer and clearer. I sat up on my elbows and looked around, my head hurting more with each passing second.

I was still on the floor, right where I collapsed. The street was completely empty except for me and Haymitch. The fire was put out, leaving the smoldering remains of a house at the end of the street. It hadn't spread much, which was good, but where was Peeta?

I started to ask, but Haymitch put a hand over my mouth. I could tell by the look in his eyes that something was wrong. I tried not to cry; I tried not to worry. Haymitch wouldn't let anything happen to him. Not now.

"Let's get home." He told me, helping me up onto my feet.

I looked down and noticed a large pool of blood. It made me frustrated, and that was an understatement. Did no one in this district help me? An injured pregnant woman collapsed on the ground? They were all too worried about themselves and they couldn't stop to make sure I was okay?

We walked slowly, my head spinning as I grabbed onto Haymitch tighter. I tried not to think about what happened to Peeta, but tears leaked out of my eyes anyway. I had to know, no matter how bad it was.

"Haymitch, where is he?" I finally asked, sniffing loudly and blinking away tears to no avail. We were rounding the corner by the bakery, and that only made things worse. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a sob, gripping onto Haymitch, afraid I was going to collapse again if I didn't.

He didn't answer right away. "He is at home. Greasy Sae is with him right now."

My stomach started to clench, a feeling of dread seeping through my skin. I got dizzy, disoriented. He was lying. Peeta was fine, and I would walk into my house and he would be on the couch waiting for me. I heard a ringing in my ears as my vision started to turn black around the edges, but I blinked it away, determined to get home to him.

"What happened to him Haymitch!" I shouted, probably looking deranged but I couldn't care less. Even a flicker of the thought that Peeta would be dead when we got home was so frightening, so terrifying that I started to cry even harder.

"He's at home. Greasy Sae is with him." He repeated, obviously not wanting me to know just yet what had happened to him. Was he really that bad? Was he already dead?

And Greasy Sae? She was with him? Was that supposed to make me feel better? She wasn't a doctor! Where was my mother? She was the only person I trusted enough to even lay a hand on him. What was wrong with him? Could they fix it; could they treat it? Had he lost another limb? Had he been stabbed unknowingly? Had he been knocked out like me, only worse? Why would Greasy Sae need to be with him?

"She'll need to have a look at you too, after what happened with your head." Haymitch said, more to himself than to me.

I reached my hand back, feeling dry blood caked onto my hair and the back of my head. I felt a deep gash, and the second I pressed on it unimaginable pain shot through my head, causing me to collapse in Haymitch's arms. Thankfully he had a firm grip on me and caught me instantly, helping me back up. The ringing in my ears hadn't stopped.

We rounded the corner to home, and I let out another sob. I could hear his screams of pain coming from the upstairs window, which was open. My heart broke as I listened to the horrid sounds, clawing at Haymitch to let me go, to let me run in and see him. I needed to see him. I needed him.

I sobbed harder once we got closer, and I pushed Haymitch away from me, shoving open the front door.

"Peeta!" I screamed repeatedly, tears streaming down my face. I heard him mumble my name in between shouts of pure pain that went rippling through my heart. I charged up the stairs, forgetting about my head and the black that was threatening to take over my sight.

The bedroom door was open, and all I could see was Peeta's leg. It was still attached to him and didn't look to be harmed in any way, and I breathed a short sigh of relief. Another deafening scream of pain came from the room as I burst inside, crying even harder at what I saw.

The skin on his right arm was completely black and red. I could see layers of it on the floor beside him, Greasy Sae attending to his wound. She was picking off the dead and burned skin, looking focused and slightly crazy. Peeta was screaming in agony, clutching the covers of the bed.

I ran over, jumping on the bed with him, laying his head on my knees so that I looked down at him, cradling his head in my hands. Thankfully my belly didn't get too much in the way as I brushed his hair out of his eyes, kissing everywhere I could reach.

"Katniss… Katniss…" he whispered over and over again as I cried, making my kisses taste salty and leaving his face wetter than before.

"Peeta, you're okay, you're alright." I whispered to him constantly, shushing his cries of pain and telling him I loved him.

Unexpectedly, his cries stopped all together. He looked up at me, his eyes slightly misty but never shedding a tear. I gazed down at him, wondering what happened. Was he dying? Was this his final moment?

Greasy Sae continued to pull the layers of dead skin off his arm as he stared into my eyes.

"I can't feel it anymore." He whispered, his voice raspy from shouting.

"Burned all your nerve endings. You probably won't feel again for a while, until they start to grow back. But trust me, then you'll start to feel it." Greasy Sae replied; setting her tweezers and bowl of Peeta's burned flesh on the ground next to her.

His arm was all raw, being stripped down to a thin layer of bright red skin. At least all the black was gone. She rubbed a mixture of herbs on the tender flesh before wrapping it in strips of a bed sheet, then laying some ice on the top of that.

"Peeta, that's all I can do for now." She told him as he nodded, head still in my arms. "It's just a waiting game now."

"Thank you." He whispered. At least he wasn't in pain. Yet.

"Katniss, I'll look at you now." She told me, walking across the room to my side of the bed, rubbing my shoulder gently.

"What do you mean?" Peeta asked, confusion and fear written all over her face.

"She got whacked in the head by something. She bled out in the street for a while until she came around again. Probably has a concussion but has definitely lost a lot of blood." Greasy Sae explained as she peeked through my hair, running her fingers gently, trying to feel her way around the wound.

The look on Peeta's face broke my heart, and when his eyes met mine, I couldn't hold back the tears. He looked more in pain now than he was when Greasy Sae was ripping his burned flesh off of him. I couldn't hold his gaze, not when he looked like that.

"Katniss—" he started, but I cut him off.

"Don't make this about me. You're the one that's hurt. I'm fine." I told him, brushing his hair out of his face. He opened his mouth again, but I wouldn't let him. "Don't worry about me." I shook my head at him. He lifted his good arm up to my stomach, rubbing it gently. I smiled down at him, giving him a tender kiss on his dry lips before Greasy Sae ripped me out of his grasp. I held onto his good hand tightly, never wanting to let go. There was no way I was letting go.

Suddenly, Greasy Sae's hands ran over the same spot that mine did in the front yard, and I collapsed with pain on the bed, next to Peeta's good arm. I cried out, tears escaping from my eyes as I closed them, which was definitely the wrong thing to do. The black that had been around the edges of my vision, the black that I thought I had tamed, soon overtook my sight and I slipped into a world of nothing.

I woke up to Peeta shaking me with his good arm, calling me frantically while Greasy Sae had a concerned look on her face. The look on his face made me cry even harder. I hated seeing him like this. I hated seeing him hurt and in pain. I couldn't help but think about his arm, about how he only had a few good layers of skin left. Something bad could've happened to him; I could've lost him, and the wave of realization rushed through me. I gripped his hand tighter, not wanting to think about it.

I hated passing out. The numb feeling that you had, the unwelcoming idea that you had almost skipped time was frightening. It reminded me too much of my time in District 13, where I was constantly in a state of medically induced comas.

Soon Greasy Sae was carefully cleaning the blood off of my wound, being careful not to repeat the earlier incident. Peeta watched me carefully as if he was waiting for something bad to happen to me, and I did the same. Our eyes never left each other's, and neither did our hands. He didn't seem to be in much pain now, and for that I was grateful.

"Katniss…" Greasy Sae said quietly, setting her bloody rag on the floor next to her tweezers. "I'm going to have to sew it shut."

I closed my eyes, not even caring if I lost consciousness again. Touching it for a second hurt badly enough, what was sewing it shut going to do? I felt Peeta squeeze my hand reassuringly, giving me a kind smile before I nodded, scooting closer to him.

Those few minutes were the worst in my life. Pain was shooting through my body, traveling up and down my spine, all around my head, all the way down to my feet. I shouted out Peeta's name helplessly, trying to stay still so Greasy Sae could do her job. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at the pain that would be on Peeta's face as I felt him kiss my temple. How he managed to move over and reach that without hurting himself amazed me, but the stabbing, throbbing pain in my head distracted me. I felt each individual stitch of the dull needle, screaming and yelling out for Peeta, wanting him to take all of this pain away, even for a minute, even if it meant losing consciousness. I sobbed louder, my free arm gripping the sheets of the bed, wanting to rip them off. I couldn't handle this. "Peeta!" I screamed, my voice breaking from both pain and overuse. I felt her fingers messily tie a knot in the back of my head, and it was over.

"Done." Greasy Sae said as she patted my back clumsily. I knew it was hard on her too, but I would thank her. Later. "You've got to eat something and get your blood sugar levels up, I'll be right back." She told us, although we weren't listening.

The second we were left alone, I burst into tears again, sliding over to lay my head on Peeta's good shoulder, making his shoulder wet almost instantly.

"Peeta, w-why did you do it? You're so stupid, y-you're so stupid, why?" I managed to choke out, kissing every inch of skin I could reach. "I could've lost you!" I cried even harder and I felt his good arm tighten around me. He was so weak, and I could tell that even conversation was hard for him.

To my surprise, he smiled. "You would've never lost me." He breathed.

I looked up at him, not returning his smile. I wanted an answer. Why did he save them? Surely someone else would've done it?

"Katniss…" he started, reading my mind. "It was a family. They had children…" he trailed off, looking down at my stomach. "All I kept picturing was Pearl in there, trapped and no one to save her. If that was me, if I was the father, I would want someone to at least try and save her." He whispered. "I couldn't leave them there to die. Not them. Not her."

I couldn't respond, even though I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I need him. I couldn't form sentences, but he carried on.

"I see things differently now, now that she is on her way." He breathed. "Instead of just any child playing, I see Pearl playing outside. Instead of a random sick child, I see a sick Pearl and it breaks my heart. Like today, when I saw the children in there, I just saw Pearl, scared and curled up in the corner of the room, waiting to die. I had to do something. I had to save them."

This only made me cry harder. Of course I was being the selfish, heartless bitch that didn't think of anyone but herself. And naturally, Peeta was being the sweet, caring, wonderful, brave, grateful man that he always was. My boy with the bread, running into a burning house to save children that weren't his. My sweetheart that, to this day, I still haven't deserved. He did it because of me, because of Pearl. He did it because he was going to be a dad. He saw it all differently now that she was on her way.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't leave them." He repeated.

"Peeta…" I tried to say, my words getting lost in the sobs. "You did the right thing." I told him. "Of course you did the right thing. I know that you never would've been able to live it down if you would've walked away." I cried. "You are the most amazing, most wonderful, most caring p-person I've ever known." I sobbed. "And I love you."

"Katniss, I love you so much." He responded, giving me a tender kiss. His cracked lips didn't feel right against mine; his were always so smooth and soft. Not today. Not after the fire.

Greasy Sae kicked the door open with her foot, holding a tray of stew and bread. Some of Peeta's sugar cookies were lying on a plate next to two glasses of water. She set it down on the end table before helping us both sit up, not saying a word. Peeta didn't seem to be in pain, and I was still so amazed. The fact that he ran into a burning house to save children… Did anyone in this whole world deserve him?

The wind picked up outside, and I could feel it all the way on the bed. Greasy Sae bustled over to the window, closing it quickly just as raindrops appeared on the glass, making a slight tinkling noise. The sky had clouded over, and the rumble of distant thunder made Pearl kick rapidly in my stomach. Soon it was pouring outside, making the window look like it was crying.

Greasy Sae placed bowls of soup in our laps, forcing me to eat a few sugar cookies before she would leave. They tasted unnaturally sweet, like she sprinkled extra sugar on them before sliding them my way. I did what I was told. For Pearl, not for me. She forced a spoon in my free hand, and I took a small bite before she smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door.

Peeta and I ate our soup in silence, except for the loud cracks of thunder that rolled through every few minutes. It was raining so hard that I couldn't see anything outside through the window, but I'm sure it was pretty muddy, all of that unprotected dirt mixed with those gallons of water pouring from the sky.

We didn't talk. We didn't have to. It was comfortable, peaceful and calming, us just lying there with our hands entwined. I was afraid to say anything, in case I started to cry again or worry. I told myself over and over that he wasn't in pain, not yet. He was fine.

Greasy Sae came in after what seemed like a few hours to refill our stew bowls, and this time she brought her granddaughter. Peeta's eyes lit up as he saw her shyly come in through the door, walking over to his arm timidly. He smiled at her when she held out her blue ball of yarn, a sad look in her eyes.

"You got hurted?" she whispered, looking at his arm oddly. She didn't know what to make of it.

"Yes." He replied, her big eyes starting to fill with tears. She kissed her tiny fingers before lightly pressing it to his cloth bandage, making a smile erupt on his face.

I smiled as I watched, touched by her sweet gesture. I leaned over Peeta and grabbed her under the armpits, heaving her up onto the bed in between Peeta and me. She snuggled right in the middle of us, looking comfortable and happy as ever. It felt right to have her there. I felt safe and happy with a child between us, like it should've been happening all along. Her little body was warm and I could feel her tiny heartbeat. Soon it would be Pearl between us.

My eyelids seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, my eyes felt like they were burning with exhaustion. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to miss any time that I had with Peeta. I'm sure fire would rage through my nightmares on top of everything else.

"Katniss, go to sleep." Peeta smiled at me, leaning over the little girl between us to give me a gentle kiss, his lips feeling more normal since Greasy Sae forced us to drink the whole glass of water. I traced his jawline with my finger, feeling his rough stubble and assuming he forgot to shave this morning. "Go ahead." He whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up."

I smiled faintly at him as I laid my head back on the pillow, being careful not to put pressure on my stitches. I pulled a blanket over my legs as I closed my eyes, the darkness outlining my sight wasn't as threatening as before.

The only noises were the wind and thunder howling behind us, but the little girl didn't seem to be frightened by it. She sat very still beside me as I listened to the rain thrashing against the side of the house, the wind picking up everything in its path and beating it helplessly with the rain, making the walls creek.

I fell into a dreamless sleep; a helpless sea of black where the nightmares threatened to spill over into my head. I had an eerie sense of sadness, like something was going to happen, but soon a bright red fire rushed through my mind and I gasped awake, shooting into a sitting position, the stitches on the back of my head stinging madly.

"Katniss…" Peeta started, leaning his free arm over and pressing it against mine, calming me instantly. It was just a dream. I looked into his eyes and found love and happiness there. I knew everything would be alright. We were going to be okay.

Sometime during my nap, the little girl had moved out from between us and was now sitting on the end of the bed, rolling her blue yarn down the bed where Peeta would catch it and send it back to her. The sparkle in both of their eyes made me so content, even after the events of the day.

Peeta let out a groan of discomfort as my eyes instantly looked at his face, then his arm. I realized Greasy Sae was in the room, sitting on a chair and unwrapping his bandages. His skin was still horribly red and it still looked burned. The skin was rough and jagged, and I couldn't help but think of the bombs that made us go through all of this before. The bombs that Gale made. The bombs that took Prim away from me.

I couldn't think about that, not now. I needed to be strong for Peeta. For my boy with the bread. He gritted his teeth as Greasy Sae rubbed the herb concoction carefully onto his raw flesh, wrapping clean bed sheets around it tightly. Silently, she came over to my side of the bed, gently feeling my stitched. Pain shot down my spine as she pressed her fingers to the gash and I jumped, but it was over quickly and I hadn't shed a single tear.

"Come on dear, let them rest." Greasy Sae said as she lifted her granddaughter off our bed, much to our protests. Peeta looked sadly at the little girl, who was holding her arms out to him as she was being carried off. Greasy Sae shut the door on us, leaving our wounded, tired selves left on the bed and the storm raging outside.

I laid my head on Peeta's chest, careful not to pull my stitches or hurt him in any way. He had a small, tired smile on his face as he sighed loudly, his injured arm lying beside him, completely still. The bed felt oddly cold without the little girl in it. It felt empty.

A big gust of wind threw some rocks against the side of the house, the rain lashing and having no fury. It looked cold and heartless outside, and I couldn't help but be reminded of that day when Peeta became my boy with the bread. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind, not wanting to think about how much I still owe him, even to this day.

Today had been one of the scariest of my whole life, and that was an accomplishment after all I had been through. Not knowing if Peeta was okay, watching him go towards the burning house, bursting through the door and looking at him in terrible pain, watching his mangled arm as it was worked on. It reminded me too much of the games, and that part of my life was over. It was supposed to be over, I had closed that part of my past and I thought I would never open it again, only in the nightmares and in my subconscious mind. I was really stupid for thinking that. It had happened, and it had been terrible. Why I thought I could just shove it out of my memory was so childish of me. Peeta had dealt with his memories yet I was too scared to even lift a page of that part of my life, fearing the horrible things I would remember. It was just best not to remember at all.

If something would've happened to Peeta, I don't know what I would do. Would I have killed myself too? Maybe before Pearl, but I honestly didn't know what I would've done in a moment of pure hell like that. I could feel tears forming in my eyes at the thought of not having Peeta with me. His body would be lifeless like in my nightmares. No Katniss, you can't think about that. Shove it out of your mind. He's alright.

But I couldn't. The realization that he could've died was too fresh and too deep of a wound. I felt ashamed. I should be the most grateful person on this earth because he was still alive, right next to me, his hand in mine. I shouldn't be dwelling on the bad, but I couldn't help it. I sniffed again, a few tiny drops of tears spilling out of my eyes as I buried my head in his chest, feeling an odd mixture of shame, happiness, grief and appreciation.

Peeta unclasped our hands so he could wrap his good arm around me, holding me safely.

"Does your head hurt? Do I need to go get Greasy Sae?" Peeta asked quietly. Of course he was thinking about me, even when his arm was practically burned off.

"No." I whispered. Even if I did need her, I wouldn't let him get up off this bed.

"What is it?" He asked softly, innocently, just like my Peeta.

I was going to be cool about this, and have a grown up conversation, but that plan went right out the window and into the storm the second I looked into his eyes. I burst into tears as Peeta immediately started to whisper 'I love you's into my skin and hair, shushing me quietly. I didn't deserve him.

"You could've died." I whispered roughly through my tears, my voice dry.

"I could never leave you." He answered simply, honestly.

"I don't ever want you to." I said, scooting even closer to him. "I just can't stop thinking about what could've happened."

"Sweetheart, that will only make you feel worse." Peeta whispered, drawing circles into my arm.

I tilted my head up and gave him a kiss, his lips feeling back to normal now. His lips sent tingles down my spine, making me shiver. I smiled as he kissed my forehead. He somehow still smelled like cinnamon.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly after a long, comfortable silence. I knew he needed his rest, but I had to just get this off my chest.

"Yes Katniss?" he whispered sleepily.

"When I die—" I started, determined to make it through what I wanted to say, but Peeta cut me off immediately.

"Katniss—"

"No Peeta, listen." I told him gently, looking up in his eyes. I couldn't quite read his expression. "When I die, and if it's before you, it's okay if you go and marry someone else—"

"Katniss, stop—" he told me, an almost painful expression in his eyes.

"No Peeta, let me get this out." I said, starting over. "I don't mind if you marry someone else. If it would make you happy, then I'd be happy too. If you found someone that made you happy, then I wouldn't mind. I'd want Pearl and our other kids to have a mother. I just want you to be happy." I told him, and surprisingly no tears were coming.

"When the kids are old enough, I want you to sit down and tell them about everything that happened. They need to know about everything we did; the games, the rebellion, the assassinations, the Quarter Quell. I want them to know it all, only when they're old enough. Show them our book; show them your pictures and paintings. Please." I told him. "Don't scare them, but don't lie to them. I want them to know what really happened."

Peeta looked incapable of speaking as he brought me even closer to him, nuzzling his head in my hair. "I'll tell them. I'll take good care of them." He managed to whisper, voice heavy with emotion.

"I know you will." I breathed. "I love you so much Peeta." I told him, my voice higher pitched than normal.

"I love you too, Katniss." He whispered back as I reached up and gave him a kiss. It was soft and slow like always, and I knew that things would be back to normal soon. I smiled as I deepened the kiss, and rolled on top of him, being careful of his injured arm and my stomach. He ran his good hand through my hair, twisting it beneath his fingers and being careful of my stitches, as we both smiled. He lightly feathered kisses across my cheek and down my neck. I needed his lips on mine, his warm skin and his hands. After all this time I was still addicted to my boy with the bread. I felt the all too familiar electric spark running through my veins. It was dangerous, especially since there were people at our house. We couldn't start something here and now, could we?

He brought his lips back to mine and I sighed contently, 100% okay with whatever happened. I was just glad he was alive at this point. He smiled before running his hand through my hair again, pulling away much to my disappointment.

"Katniss…" He started weakly, his smile still faintly playing at the edge of his lips, "With both of us severely injured and Greasy Sae just downstairs, do you really think this is smart?"

I grinned, laughing as I rolled off of him, unable to stop. What a Peeta thing to say. I laughed until my sides were splitting, Peeta finally cracking and joining me until we were both grabbing our stomachs in pain, unable to quit laughing.

"What is going on up here!" Greasy Sae said as she burst through the door about ten minutes later. She had a stern look on her face, but the second she glanced at our pathetic selves nearly passed out on the bed from exhaustion and laughter, she couldn't help but join us. She merely backed up and shut the door, probably happy just to see us smiling.

Pearl started to kick along with us, and I don't think I had ever been this light and happy or ready for what was ahead. I was ready to see her, I was ready to hold her in my arms and have her grow up with Peeta and me. I wanted her more in that split second that I had in my whole life. I was completely ready.

I had a revelation, right here in the middle of the bed, doubled over with side-splitting pain from laughter. Even though it was sometimes hell, sometimes so hard and unforgiving that I didn't want it to go on anymore, life was still amazing. Life was wonderful, even with its imperfections, and I wouldn't change anything for the world. Not my Pearl, not My Peeta, not My Sweetheart. Not My Boy with the Bread.