A/N: This is me trying something a little different... Hope you guys enjoy it!
Her weekend drifted by in a haze — an angry, self-loathing haze. Lucas was right: every time she let him back in, she pushed him away. She couldn't seem to choose any other option besides a hit-and-run.
That year at the tutoring center with him, she thought the universe was putting everything back in their place. Even the kiss she witnessed wasn't enough to make her stop hoping. But she ran from that too.
Why did she always run? Why? Why?
When she got home from the courtyard, she cried her eyes out for the rest of the day and skipped dinner. Her parents easily chalked up her disappearance to the Hunter family dropping in and staying.
On Sunday, she decided to sleep it off. Riley hoped that she could dream away her feelings. She ignored Isadora's calls and slept. She slept through her church service in the morning, through her afternoon study session with the squad, through dinner with Ava's parents. It was impossible for her to sleep straight through it all, waking up from restlessness here and there, but it wasn't until nearly midnight when she felt a buzz of energy coursing through her system.
So she finished off her weekend completing her assignments and replied to Is's frantic, worried texts, before crawling back into bed with her hand gripping a crinkled picture of the two of them sharing an ice cream cone.
Riley didn't need the moonlight to see what they looked like — she had it memorized. Maya's mouth was open, but her eyes closed, ready for the ginormous spoonful of ice cream Riley was about to shove into her mouth.
Maya. If only she were here, Riley thought. And then she fell asleep.
Past
Her day didn't start oddly enough for her to be a little worried, a bit paranoid about who she would run into. In fact, it was the first day in about nine months she felt a little piece of herself come back home. She smiled at her parents and Auggie at breakfast, eating with them for the first time the entire school year. Though, that might have had much more to do with Shawn and Katy insisting on having their own family weekend breakfasts at their place for once. And everything after her daily check-in with Smack — Is, she mentally corrected herself — went really well.
Everything leading up to this point, to her sitting beneath the air conditioning vent with her skin exposed to the frigid air blowing straight down and through her sheer cream sweater, had been normal. Her assigned students for the day, James Smackle and his best friend, had already procrastinated their designated fifteen minutes and were working calmly.
And then Lucas walked into the tutoring center — her tutoring center — wearing a crisp, new varsity letterman jacket and his heart-melting smile. He was the first sophomore to make varsity baseball in the past decade, and even from afar, she was immensely proud of him. But she was currently keeping her head down, focused on the two boys in front of her. Not on him. Not on him ever again.
Unfortunately, her supervisor brought him over as the new Saturday volunteer, and asked her to help him learn the ropes, and she was forced to finally look at him for the first time since last December.
"Hey, Riles," he greeted softly, peering up at her through his eyelashes. "I didn't know you volunteered here or…."
"Or what, Lucas?" she quietly snapped. Riley didn't mean to snap at him in front of the boys, but her thoughts were buzzing around her head so fast she didn't know which one to grab onto and follow. She was thinking about that damn kiss at Sophie Martinez's party and the ski lodge and how much she missed him — how much she wanted him.
"I would've gone somewhere else." With his shoulders slumped and his lips curved into a frown, he seemed unsteady to her. But not unstable, like Texas Lucas. "I know you hate me."
I don't hate you! She was ready to blurt it out. Instead, she shook her head, not wanting to distract the boys from their practice test, and said nothing. The blonde shifted in his plastic seat, the chair creaking every which way, and suggested, "If you want, I can go somewhere else! I can get my volunteer hours elsewhere."
Again, Riley shook her head and he scooted his chair in closer. "Why are you volunteering anyway?"
"My mama insisted, because it'd look good on college transcripts if I started early." Of course it was only about college to him. "Plus, if I can get a scholar athlete scholarship or something, it'll really help my family out when Dawn and Finley are at that point."
Right, the twins. She missed those two beautiful blonde fairies. "You can stay here," she answered, "I know how important it is to you to take care of your family. I won't mind, really."
"You always did have the biggest heart," he drawled, "Riley." It sounded like his lips were taking extra special care of her name. Oh those lips she's mi— "I heard Farkle and Smackle broke up. I thought they were forever."
I thought we were forever. "Yeah, Isadora's taking it pretty hard."
"How's Farkle doing?"
"You don't know?" He shook his head somberly. "We don't talk anymore. We sort of drifted away after the ski lodge." Because I went to Sma- Is instead of him. Is instead of her.
Without pause, Lucas said, "I really missed you, Riley."
"Riley? Hello? Are you even listening to me?" She opened her eyes and woke up at cheer practice, face to face with Sarah. Her captain had a firm hand on her hip and was angrily tapping her foot at the brunette. "Hello?"
"I'm so sorry, Sarah. What were you saying?"
"Ugh," she groaned, "it's like you start hanging out with that old group of friends again and you go back to ignoring the rest of the us. Earth to Riley: we're your family. Plus, Smackle."
"You guys were there for me, I know that," she answered cautiously. "And I appreciated that."
"Good, I need you to remember that." Sarah turned her attention back to the rest of the squad and said, "As I was saying, the Fall Ball rally is this Friday and the dance is next week. I was hoping to have our new routine ready to go, but that seems unlikely now. We'll have to stick to the classics for the rally."
"And the dance?"
"The Fall Ball is our chance to shine. It has always been the squad's moment in the spotlight every year. And that's because one of us always wins queen," she said sharply. "We'll have the new freshmen with us by then, so everyone must be at the top of their game — with their dresses and their dates."
Riley cringed. She didn't want to find a date, let alone go to the dance. But she knew Sarah would kick her off the squad in a heartbeat if she didn't participate. "Who's even nominated this year?"
Half the girls gasped. "Were you not paying attention during your own broadcasting class?"
"I've been kind of out of it," she admitted meekly.
"Nominees for King were Zay, Lucas, Wyatt, Clark Wu, and some guy named Fred Savage," Rebecca Lewis, one of the sophomores, recited with ease. "Nominees for Queen were Sarah, of course, Maya, Marley, and Channing Yang."
She counted in her head. "Aren't there supposed to be five nominees for Queen?"
"I thought you meant besides yourself," Rebecca replied, eyeing her, "You really have been out of it all day, haven't you?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Now she really had to go to the stupid dance. Riley closed her eyes and wished herself away.
Past
"Riley, this is a really great idea," Lucas said to her as soon as she got back from her meeting with the program director at the tutoring center. She'd given him her notes to look over without telling him her plan. "Letting the kids volunteer to push them out into the world and expose them to more than just academics? It's brilliant, Riles."
It'd been four months since he started volunteering with her, and her skin was probably tomato red anyway. She tried to joke it off. "Thanks, Friar. Did you see what's at the top of my list?"
He quickly flipped through the booklet to her list of recommendations and smiled. "The animal shelter? There's an animal shelter downtown?"
"There's a ton throughout the city, but that's the closest if they ever wanted to take a break from studying and walk over in the afternoon. I already talked to Mr. Smith, he runs the shelter, and he was so excited about it," she softly mused, "It was really cute."
Kinda like you, she wanted to add on. Riley kept her mouth shut and quietly nodded in agreement with Lucas' suggestions. Their knees were bumping into each other and even through all of their layers, his touch still sent a spark up her spine.
In the end, she realized he simply kept repeating himself: "It's brilliant, you're brilliant."
Riley's eyes blinked open at the group's meeting at the library. She could barely lift her head to look at Lucas, who opted to sit directly in front of her at their round table. Their meeting was coming to an end, after deciding that the last set of interviews should be finished within the week. Excitedly, Zay congratulated her, "Sugar, I can't believe you got nominated for queen!"
"Me neither," she mumbled, her lips fashioned in a tight smile. "It was … very unexpected."
"My girlfriend and my good friend both nominated for queen! It's exciting!" He looped both arms over Maya and Riley, smiling, but they both shifted uncomfortably beneath the weight.
"Congratulations, Maya." Peaches.
Honey. "You too, Riley." Her mind clung to the thought of the picture she fell asleep with the night before and almost teared up. "And even though I'm technically queen, cheerleaders always win," the blonde rolled her eyes, "so I hope it's you over Sarah."
"Thank you," she murmured, "that means a lot."
They all said their goodbyes, even Lucas who hovered for a few minutes, trying unsuccessfully to make small talk, and Riley opted to stay and continue working on her assignments on her own. She figured staying at the library would keep her awake, as opposed to the near-coma she was in at home over the weekend. But her determination didn't last long and she closed her eyes, for just a second to recollect her thoughts.
Past
Lucas reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. Shyly, he looked up at her through his eyelashes. "Riley, I really like you still. My feelings haven't changed since the ski lodge. And if anything, they've grown because of getting to know you more here."
"Lucas, I—"
"Be my girlfriend, Riley. I choose you. Please choose me too." But she couldn't forget what he'd done. And she didn't even have the nerve to bring it up. It's been six months since we became friends again, she thought. But she couldn't let go.
"Lucas, I'm sorry." Riley's eyes were glued to her hands as she shook her head. "I'm so sorry."
