Ok folks I know that Chapter Five was not a great Chapter but it did serve to help move things on a bit or that was the plan anyway. But two reviews for three chapters one being for Chapter Five is a bit of let-down. But wait zxxyxxz I hear all of you cry maybe not many people have read your fic. Yesterday was the best day ever for In The Garden. I don't want to be the author that begs for reviews at the start of every chapter but guys just a few words to let me know how you think the story is going. Reviews make authors happy and let me know that maybe you aren't all reading this fic because it's like a car crash and you can't just look away.

~8~

Chapter Seven A Soldier's Romance Part I

"Fear and self-reflection are very powerful things I have always known the hows and whys of fear but self-reflection is a new trick on me. I do not know which I dislike most."

Lucius said his voice low and cautious as it normally was when he was being serious or honest.

"You cannot let your life be run by fear."

Hermione pointed out not very helpfully though there was little else she could do other than listen.

"I know. Oh how I know. But every time I sit in the quiet I remember everything I have ever done. Both the good and the bad. But I do not feel that surge of respect and self-satisfaction I used to get remembering if the not the better but certainly the more creative achievements of my life. Now I just feel the jagged jaws of guilt tearing and eating away at me from the inside out."

He trailed off, his eyes following an insect flying around in front of them.

"Words of sympathy are of little comfort but my thoughts are there and true if not pure. It is not and will not ever be my place to judge, I can though listen if you want me to."

She said her voice sagging sadly.

"I am scared Hermione. I do not know if I want there to be a next life or not. I do not want this to be the absolute of existence but I do not think I could face my damnation. I do not want a thousand lifetimes of suffering but I have no soul. There will never be salvation for me."

His eyes fell to his shoes, no longer shining from polish as they used to be all those short years ago though those days felt a lifetime away. The shoes were caked in the light dust from the stones and gravel making the path in the garden. Hermione didn't know how she could respond to Lucius plea. On one hand the deeds we do in this life must be punished in the next if we are not punished in this life or we all gain absolution on death and live in bliss in the next life. Unless the afterlife was a more complex structure than she had ever given thought to before. But did the act of wanting salvation the act of recognising your flaws and the horror you committed bring about your salvation as you appreciate the importance and the weight of responsibility that salvation would bring? But Lucius had suffered so much and would continue to suffer for the rest of his life, she would not want for him to suffer in the next life as well. But if this existence is the entirety of life then what is the point of guilt? All the guilt did was confine them with the depths of their own thoughts and actions which were just a blink in the eyes of the universe and they squandered the life they had never knowing what could have and should have been. But did she give Lucius her honest opinion which was a jumble of conflicting thoughts feelings and ideologies or did she give him some of the truth? The fact that there was always hope, the fact is acceptance of the guilt was maybe the first step in salvation and redemption.

"You have a soul Lucius. And there is always hope for salvation."

She said, placing her hand in a gesture of comfort on his own hand that was shaking slightly from the constant tremors that plagued his body.

"My soul has been ripped apart so many times. For many years there was hardly a good or noble thought in my head. I was no double agent, I never did anything to stop my Master or destroy his plans. Why should I deserve salvation? Why should I even think it possible?"

He asked almost shouting in frustration. But how could she help him? She could never give Lucius Malfoy salvation. The only thing she could do would be to help him be a better man and to be the best man that he could.

"Maybe the best is yet to come? We are all blind to what the future holds."

Hermione said kindly, ignoring her own complex and swirling emotions towards the man sitting next to her.

"Perhaps."

Lucius sighed.

~8~

She sat on one of the old settees that surrounded the fire place of the study; Lucius had left a short time ago into the depths of the Manor to finish the preparations for dinner. As she observed the room looking for something to take her mind of the boredom of waiting she dimly recalled the invitation that lead her here. It was delivered by a rented post owl the handwriting confused her at first the sloppiness of the script and the ink blots looked as if it was a poor forgery of someone else's handwriting. It pained her to learn it was an invitation to dinner from Lucius, it pained her that the tremors he always suffered from had taken something as simple as the ability to write to from him. She tried to put thoughts of regret, sadness and anguish to the back of her mind there was no point crying over spilled potion and she enjoyed the Lucius she had and she knew the damaged Wizard enjoyed her as well.

It was difficult to coin a term that described what she and Lucius had together, although he was officially courting her in so much as they had both admitted to wanting more of a romantic liaison. Boyfriend and girlfriend seem too juvenile. While lovers made the wonderfully pure relationship they had seem almost sordid and cheap. She may love Lucius slightly and could see herself in the near future loving him but it was born less of romance and more of acceptance, philosophy and companionship. She adored every part of their relationship and took the good with the bad though a suitable label still evaded her not that she had any longer to muse of the subject as Lucius had returned to the study bearing dinner.

Careful not to spill a drop Lucius placed the ornate wooden tray carrying two generous bowls of soup onto the coffee table. From the smell her first guess was that it was French onion soup. Lucius frowned deeply as he stood looming over the coffee table arranging the cutlery and removing the bowls of soup from the tray and onto the coffee table so they were positioned one in front of both himself and Hermione.

"I apologise for the lack of a proper table."

He said settling back down next to Hermione and pulling his soup bowl towards him.

"It's fine. You don't need to worry just because we are together doesn't mean anything has changed. I like what we have and more importantly I like it that we are comfortable around each other."

Hermione said while pulling her bowl across the table for a closer inspection. She was correct the soup was French onion a piece of slightly charred cheese on toast sat on top of the soup. She took a small spoonful and out of habit blew on the warm soup before eating the mouthful. She was pleasantly surprised the soup was perfect a lovely depth of flavour considering the lack of beef stock.

"No need to look too surprised I have been without house elves for almost four years and was a dab hand at potions in my school days."

Lucius said taking a large spoonful of soup. They shared a laugh.

"You can't make cheese on toast though."

She joked taking a bite of her soup soaked charred toast.

"I had one too many things to do at once."

He replied defensively.

"Joking. Dinner is lovely and the company even better."

She reassured Lucius her hand moving to rest on his thigh. He brought an arm to rest around her and they relaxed into silent joy content with everything just the way it was. Slowly but surely the two bowls of soup were diminished and numerous small touches were shared nothing too overt or distracting just a hand on a thigh or fingers moving a stray hair out of the way. Two small scrapes from empty bowls being pushed across the table top signified the end of dinner, both Witch and Wizard turned in their seat to face the other.

It was Lucius who closed the distance his lips pressing firmly against Hermione's his hands exploring the bony curves of her sides as she kissed him back with earnest want. Her unsure hands ran down his back fingers tangling themselves in the long lank locks that fell limply down his back. His tongue gently and sensuously ran across her lip before dipping in and exploring her mouth, her own tongue twisting and battling for dominance.

Panting desperately they pulled apart he rested his forehead against hers each enjoying the moment and enjoying the other. Softly he stroked her cheek the tip of his finger lazily and slowly running down and touching every imperfection of her soft skin.

"I've wanted to do that all evening."

He whispered a chill of desire shot down Hermione's spine as his warmth breath hit the shell of her ear. She could feel the hot dampness growing between her thighs. Gently she pressed her lips back against his. Large hands buried themselves deep into her hair wrapping the thick curly locks around long dexterous fingers she moaned from the slight pulling, his heady deep scent engulfing her and those warm lips pressed tight against hers was heaven. Her own fingers busied themselves into his thin hair as their lips continued to move and press together Lucius released a low groan.

Gently he pulled away, placing a final peck upon her lips. His hands moved to lie comfortably against her sides and gradually he lowered them down to rest stretched out on the settee. He held her close against his chest his hands resting on her stomach his hot breath on her neck sending warmth and desire to her core. She let out another moan as small ardent kisses were peppered down her neck.

"Wonderful evening Lucius."

She mumbled as he rested his chin on top her nest of untameable brown curls.

"I'm glad you approve."

He purred stretching his long legs.

"Is your leg troubling you?"

She did nothing to hide her concern.

"A little. I didn't want to ruin the mood."

He admitted. Embarrassed as a school boy on his first date.

"You didn't."

A lazy smile on his thin lips Lucius held Hermione tight against his chest hoping with her back against him she would not realise how quickly his heart was beating. Not that it would have mattered her own heart pounding in her throat as she melted into his embrace, his breath on her neck swiftly followed by lips and tongue.

Enjoying Lucius's tender affection but wanting with every dripping fibre of her being to see the object of her desire she rolled gently in his arms to cuddle her chest and breasts flush against Lucius's firm body soft from the loose robes he wore. Slowly she raised her head and chastely pecked Lucius on the lips her hands wrapped around his sides and her legs entwined with his.

"You're beautiful."

He moaned breathlessly, finger playing idly with an errant curl falling delicately over her face. Her lips crashed against his.

~8~

A week passed and they saw nothing of the other save for their brief time in the garden. For the most part they were both silent not because what they had was awkward or uncomfortable but simply because neither had anything to say. It was peaceful she admitted to just sit and think in the beautiful flowering garden with little care in the world. They decided against seeing each other on the Friday night and the Saturday night for that matter it was a week since their first date and it did not seem right to fall back in to their old ways. Honestly though Hermione needed the break she needed to sort out not her priorities but she needed to know that what they had was not purely skin deep and a product of a spontaneous moment.

She rolled over to the other side of her cold empty double bed. She missed Lucius.

She dimly recalled that today was Sunday she had not really seen or talked to Lucius since last Friday when he invited her to dinner but today buzzing with something akin to happiness it felt right. Hermione felt content and perhaps a little lonely but she knew that spending a lazy Sunday with Lucius was just what she wanted. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table it had gone nine. It was still early enough to invite Lucius for breakfast without there being the danger of her waking him up. She hoped he would be awake or happy that she woke him she knew she would be more than a little happy if the roles were reversed.

A flick and her fluffy dressing gown was summoned towards her. With practiced ease she caught the flying garment and shuffled into her bathroom to dress for the day before heading down to the floo. A pinch of floo powder from the tin on the mantle and she was calling for Malfoy Manor. The words still felt foreign coming from her lips but she could not deny the pleasure of just what could be about to come building up inside of her.

"Uhh. Hermione?"

Lucius asked sleepy his eyes still bleary from waking up.

"I know it's early but I was wondering if you want to join me for breakfast."

She asked feigning the casual tone not wanting to be rejected but at the same time not wanting Lucius to feel obliged to join her if he would rather crawl back to bed.

Yawning Lucius nodded his head sleepily and terminated the floo call. Less than a minute later and he was stood in her front room yawning again and still looking a little on the sleepy side. Despite his grogginess and the lack of sounds other than crude grunts he stepped towards her and drew her into his arms greeting her with a searing kiss on the lips.

"Good morning to you too."

Hermione said not wanting to break away from his arms.

"There's more where that came from."

The effect of his sultry and seductive tone ruined by another yawn, slowly and wobbling slightly she led Lucius to the settee and in the least dainty of ways the two flopped down enjoy the soft and comfortable cushions. A little clumsily Lucius pulled her tight against his chest and moved her slightly so she fell in the more natural and comfortable of positions. She closed her eyes and let herself melt into Lucius's embrace his low even breathes and his fingers resting on her stomach were perfect.

His head fell heavily on top of her own the blow soften by the mass of curls she had never been able to tame it was at this moment she concluded that Lucius had fallen back asleep. His body twitched and jerked randomly and his hands moved and held her tight against him like a teddy bear not that she minded. Relaxing into his familiar warmth she brought her legs onto the settee and curled up as much as she could and still be comfortable against Lucius. She stopped fighting her dropping eye lids and fell into a nightmare filled sleep.

A short while later Hermione awoke fully renewed and ready to continue with the day with a cursory glance to the clock in the room she learned she had only been sleeping for half an hour. Reluctantly she pulled herself away from Lucius and stretched her aching body. She watched quietly as Lucius slept his features softening and gone was all the tension and worry he carried everyday even the lines around his face seemed fainter. She sighed he looked so innocent and peaceful when he slept but she knew appearances are deceiving and that however at peace his body is she knew his mind was trapping him in the eternal realm of nocturnal terror.

Slowly his eyes opened. The corners of his lips twitched upwards when he saw her next to him the stupid smile she wore watching him sleep still on her face. He reached out and squeezed her hand.

"I believe you originally mentioned something about breakfast?"

He asked tactlessly but neither really knew where they went from here. But that was part of the problem she knew the real reason they had been avoiding each other was that neither wanted the talk. Neither wanted to be the one to ask exactly what they were and where if anywhere they were going. Hermione just sat and looked at Lucius and he sat silently staring back, for a moment they fidgeted not wanting to hold the other's stare or look the other in the eye just in case the slightest movement ruined what they had.

"Do you want to talk now or after breakfast?"

Lucius was the first to break rank his voice definitely unsure, Hermione would almost describe his tone and defeated body language as sad or afraid.

"Now because then we have breakfast to look forward to."

Hermione said briskly.

"Do you still wish for me to court you?"

Lucius's eyes moved nervously from side to side as he spoke, his nervous tic was back.

"Yes."

Was the only answer she could give. How could she not want the Wizard who seemed to keep the darkness away the Wizard who hated just what the war had caused everyone to be? How could she not want to be courted by her friend?

He heaved a sigh of relief and slumped relaxed into the back of the settee not caring for image it gave Hermione nor that it was her settee and her front room he was in. He rubbed the corners of his temples.

"I know I do not deserve this Hermione. I know that I should hate myself for having and enjoying everything that we have together but I want it. And I do not know how to make these feelings stop, you are my friend but I enjoy it when we kiss and it shames me to wanting more from you…Us.

But I cannot live in the dark. A man must never live his life so alone and in so much darkness. I am a murderer Hermione. I cannot change that. I tried to kill you dear heart. I wanted you dead. I…I am such a terrible man. But I want you and I know you want me.

I like our talks and when we just cut loose and debate anything and everything. I like knowing that even in my darkest thoughts I am not alone. I like it that you agree with me and I did not have to threaten or bribe you. I like it that you do not expect anything from me, I like that you let me read or listen when I talk about what I heard on the radio or wax lyrical on the greatness of Sneck.

I know that rationally, maybe I have latched onto the first human being who talked and tried to listen and understand me but I don't care. I don't care about being Lucius Malfoy anymore. I never wanted to kill people I just wanted a life, a wife, son.

I just don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to be me anymore."

Slowly Lucius let everything out, every thought, every emotion came flooding out of him the tears falling down his sullen cheeks were not attractive but she could not help pulling him into a tight hug and never wanting her battered, worn friend to leave again. All she ever wanted in life was a friend who understood her, she once said she would do anything to have one true friend and maybe she really did. Her fingers played with the rat tail ends of his dull mane as she buried her face into the top of his head, inhaling the fragrance of Lucius, cologne and dandruff. Nothing mattered; the past of being Hermione Granger didn't matter. She had moved on, she had grown up and right now she wanted to have breakfast and spend a lazy Sunday with the Wizard she cared for with every fibre of her being.

Her smaller hands slid down the side of his face and slowly she raised his head to look into her eyes. Softly she pressed her lips against his the salty tang of his tears on his lips. Gently he kissed her back and nothing else mattered.

Their kiss ended and with a soft smile on their faces they rose and Lucius followed behind as they moved into the kitchen for some much needed breakfast.

Hermione started humming as she busied herself in a whirlwind of kitchen activity with a fond smile both for his witch and for the domestic scene he had found himself in Lucius pulled a plain wooden chair out from the table and gingerly lowered himself down. Content to watch as Hermione cooked him breakfast. Breakfast was many a packet of crumpets brought from the Muggle corner shop down the road, a packet of butter and thick sinful hot chocolate.

"How many calories do you think there are in crumpets slathered with butter?"

He asked as Hermione joined him at the table and they began to help themselves to crumpets to go with their butter.

"Lots."

She replied brightly taking a bite of her crumpet the butter running down her chin.

"Good. I will admit the one thing I miss the most as a vegetarian is a full English but butter soaked crumpets is a good alternative."

He replied reaching across the table a delicate finger running across Hermione's chin wiping off the butter. With deliberate slowness he pushed the offending digit into his mouth sucking and licking off the butter. Hermione froze wide eyed watching, becoming ever conscious of the wetness between her legs. Raising his eyebrows seductively Lucius bit into his own crumpet the butter oozing out onto his mouth and chin breaking the daze Hermione was in. Shaking her head Hermione looked desperately for a distraction she was about to give in when the Sunday edition of the Prophet sat long forgotten on the worktop caught her eye. A lazy wave of her hand and the paper joined them at the table. Carefully with well-practiced and regimented precision she began the task of splitting the paper into the various supplements, satisfied with the small pile of mini newspapers she took the first one from the pile and greasy fingers smoothed the sheet over the table.

"Sport?"

"Please."

Lucius accepted the sports section. It surprised him to learn a few short minutes later that it did not matter if he dripped butter onto the newspaper Hermione seemed to think that getting grease stains on the paper was all part of the Sunday morning charm. And as he sat transfixed yet again with the butter dripping from the corners of Hermione's full inviting lips he had to agree.

~8~

It was a grey April Thursday afternoon and they had settled into a routine that saw there Friday and occasionally Saturday night's together morph from pure friendship into a relationship that was a little more intimate than before and worked for them. The pair were sat on the stone bench hand in hand not caring for anything beyond their own thoughts. To touch and be with the other was second nature to both of them no matter what they said the other always came back. A light drizzle fell neither bothered pulling the hoods to their cloaks up just enjoying the feel of the cool rain on their tired skin. As if in a daze they watched the small puddles form in the flower beds of the garden and within the gaps in the gravel path.

"I like watching the rain, there is just something about watching it fall from the clouds and soaking everything in its path."

She said fondly. Lucius didn't say a word content just to sit in the quiet.

"Would you like to accompany me for a walk along the sea front?"

She asked quietly later when the drizzle stopped their hair and robes damp.

"Where?"

He queried not looking away from the raindrop covered leaves and flowers that glistened like tiny diamonds where they caught the light.

"Not here just somewhere very Muggle and very quiet. If you're a good boy I may even buy you a bag of chips."

His lips wobbled as he unconvincingly formed a look of bored disinterest.

"How can I say no to greasy over salted pieces of potato? If you would allow me twenty minutes at the Manor we can leave when you are ready."

She smiled and pecked his cheek rough from his light stubble.

Slowly the two rose, she placed her arm in Lucius's and together they walked back along the winding gravel path and out of the garden. With a lingering touch to her cheek he used his portkey and left. Hermione aapparated to her home to change from her robes.

Twenty one minutes later Hermione had changed and was stood waiting by her fireplace when Lucius flooed in dressed in Muggle finery. She smiled as she took in the view before her it seemed odd to see Lucius in trousers, shirt and waistcoat it made him look like a lord from a cheap romance novel his hair tied back neatly with a small length of black ribbon. The deep emerald green waistcoat a nice splash of colour amongst his all black attire. It was cool out so he wore a long overcoat instead of a suit jacket.

"Hello."

He purred leaning rakishly on his walking stick casually looking Hermione up and down.

"Hi."

She almost squeaked as she spoke trying very hard not to focus too much on Lucius though she was almost certain judging by his blatant posing he knew exactly how he looked. Shooting her one of his more sexy smirks he took one step closer and once again Hermione was flush against him his lips on hers.

The kiss ended and for a moment they just stood their arms wrapped round each other, fingers buried deep within the other's hair.

"Wow."

Exclaimed Hermione breathlessly.

"Indeed."

Drawled Lucius.

"I think I need to straighten up my hair."

Hermione said untangling herself from Lucius. Lucius made a small noise and tried to keep his mouth closed.

"And what was that?"

She glared sharply at Lucius who looked like he had just had a rather good snog.

"Nothing dear."

He quickly replied his voice a little too high.

~8~

Arm in arm they walked slowly down the walkway running along by the beach sparing little attention to the mixture of gaudy tourist shops and the few shabby local places. It was still dull and grey at the coast but it did not seem to matter as they watching the waves crash onto the dirty sand while stood resting on the railings on the high wall built to protect the town from the sea. A few large seagulls padded around picking at the greasing paper wrappings from the small café's and takeaways nearby that littered the area.

As Hermione folded her arms and rested them on the railings and peacefully watched the waves go in and out she was aware of Lucius's large hand resting on the small of her back. His other hand gripping the head of his walking stick as he stood next to her gazing on out onto the sea. She felt Lucius tense. She knew it was not a full blown Cruciatus after attack but just one of the many aches that seemed to always plague his body.

"Do you need to sit down?"

She asked her eyes not moving from the waves.

"No I'm fine."

He waved of her concern.

"Come on I am sure there is a bench nearby that is not too dirty or too covered in old chewing gum."

Looping her arm through his he happily let Hermione guide him the short distance to a small bench its black paint peeling and lumps of old chewing gum stained the tarmac all around. With a hard glare he frightened off a threatening looking seagull that was strutting near the bench. Not bothering to let go of each other they sat down Lucius rested his walking stick on the edge of the bench and stretched his legs.

"I think I can see a chip shop a few yards away, do you want chips?"

Hermione asked straining her neck to read the signs on the shop fronts. He nodded biting down on his bottom lip to stop making a noise from the pain coursing through his body. A quick peck on his rough from stubble cheek and Hermione walked briskly off to the chip shop.

She smiled to herself on seeing no queue and that they were just taking a fresh batch of chips out of the fryer. A quick look behind her at Lucius sat on the bench and she strode to the counter and ordered the promised bag of chips. As she took the greasy bundle from the equally greasy man behind the counter and the smell of salt and vinegar that was so quintessentially fish and chip shop hit her nostrils Hermione could not remember the last time she did something so Muggle. Something that once long ago would of seemed so very normal to her. But that was what relationships and friendships were for to share in the normal and the not so normal. The key to romance was not grand romantic gestures but the small almost insignificant moments that she and Lucius faced every day and making them seem so much more than they really were.

She took the spot next to Lucius and placed the greasy paper package on his lap as she adjusted her bag and checked everything in her purse was all present and correct. With a minimum of fuss from his fingers Lucius peeled back the paper and offered her a chip. Slowly and deliberately they each took a chip and munched on the greasy goodness. A familiar arm rested round her shoulders not able to stop the small smile and the look of contentment on her lips Hermione shuffled slightly and rested against Lucius.

Special. That is what Hermione decided the moment was. There was something about sitting on a bench the day grey and dull with Lucius working their way through a bag of chips at the sea that seemed to defy all attempts to describe the moment. A few older couples shuffled slowly down the path but they all seemed to blur into the background. She moved her hand to rest against her chest, her fingers stroking Lucius's hand that rested on her shoulder. Enjoying the little blonde hairs covering the back of his hand and knuckles.

Balling the used paper once the last chip had been consumed Lucius threw it to the ground in front of them. Still cuddling up on the old bench they watched just lost in the simplicity of the moment as a crying seagull swooped down and started pecking at the greasy paper in the hope of finding a forgotten chip stuck to the paper. Hermione closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of Lucius's breath on the shell of her ear followed by the faint pressure of his finger tracing the curves and imperfections of her cheek. Gently he passed his finger across her lips and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you."

He whispered.

~8~

Noon Monday Hermione entered the garden to find Lucius already sat on the stone bench, it was as if he had been waiting for her. She sat down and waited to hear what he had to say.

"I am so fucking sorry Hermione, no one knows more than me how sorry I am for the demon that I am and have become. But you should never be sorry for the angel you are not. You have nothing to feel sorry for. Nothing to apologise for.

I apologise for all the cruel things that I have done and I apologise for everything I have said and done to you now. But please know that I don't regret one single fucking thing. I mean every word I have said to you as my friend and as my paramour.

But please Hermione just walk away for once make it easy on yourself and walk away from this horrid place and never come back. Please I…I do not want to be in the hell that I have made for myself but there is no place for such beauty as yourself in my own pathetic hell. Just walk away there is nothing that you should feel towards me please walk away today and pretend that none of what we had was real.

Just walk away."

Lucius said his voice so low and on the verge of breaking, his fingers frantically rubbing and scratching at his robe sleeve where she knew the remains of his Dark Mark was hidden. He turned away from her his body hunching over and she was half sure he was overcome with silent sobs. She held her hand out to touch him but hesitated. He seemed so certain in his self-hatred. She was torn it was painful to watch her friend and Wizard hate himself so much that he would rather be alone then experience even the most fleeting of happiness. But there would be no discussion his mind so made up. The only thing she could and as much as it would physically hurt her was to leave and return tomorrow.

On the verge of tears herself not just because Lucius was hurting but also as her own life which had seemed so much better recently was on the verge of destruction. She could see her life and everything in it she enjoyed perched perilously on the sheer cliff like jaws of inner turmoil and the gut wrenching terror and destruction that war and one's own actions bring. But she would return tomorrow and if Lucius was not here she would return to the Manor and she would bring him back to her and to the life he needed and suffered for.

Slowly she pulled her cloak tight around herself and got up taking a final look at the huddled and haunted figure of Lucius she left.