Title: Not Yet
Summary: Lelouch's 'death' was only the beginning. He's not dead yet, and he and everyone else have to deal with life as it comes.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: If I owned, I wouldn't be spazzing about needing to submit scholarship applications.
Authour's Note: Wow. It's been way too long. I don't even have a good excuse. I have even written an IY FF on a different site in the past... year. Crap. No excuse. Don't kill me!
Kallen woke up early that morning and lay quietly in her bed. She had school that day, and she was a little nervous as she showered and dressed. She decided not to straighten her hair, and put her guren key around her neck in case of an emergency. It was also a sort of free pass if she had to get out of school early for any reason. She walked quietly out of her room, gave her sleeping mother a kiss on the cheek, and ran out the door to the garage. She had a motorcycle she could use for transportation and used it to get to school.
The school grounds looked like nothing had ever happened on them. Kallen smiled sadly at how everything seemed to be getting back to normal. At least, as normal as it could be after all that had happened in the world. She parked her motorcycle and walked into the school building. It was horribly flashy, but it had her name and "Property of the Black Knights" on it, so she wasn't worried too much about it being messed with. It was coded by Rakshasa only to work for one of the Black knights, anyway.
The building was the exact same, and a wave of nostalgia washed over her at how little had changed for all that happened. She had two years left at the place despite the fact that she was seventeen. She had been 'sick' so much before, and then there was the year she had been imprisoned by Lelouch. People all around were gawking at her, though they all seemed too afraid to talk to her. Everyone recognized her after the televised broadcast of the group that had almost been executed publicly for being members of the Black Knights or going against Lelouch.
She felt so free despite the glances of admiration and fear from the children around her. Even in how she thought she was above it, because they were indeed just children. She no longer had to pretend that she was sickly, and she had even been permitted to re-enroll as Kallen Kouzuki instead of Stadtfelt. There was nobody forcing her to give them her books to carry because she was 'sick' either.
(Linebreak)
Suzaku got the message from Kallen herself, though she seemed to have no idea of the message she was delivering. He took it from her, as she gave him that same look. She knew it was him behind the mask, and she always made it as plain as she could that she knew. She was one of only three people alive, maybe four, who knew the identity of Zero. This time, he decided to get rid of it before it became too much of a problem.
"Kouzuki-san, would you come with me for a minute?" The helmet changed his voice, but she was never fooled. She nodded and he led her to his room. Once there, he closed and locked his door, and removed his helmet. She gasped, and sat down on his bed.
"I knew, but I didn't expect it somehow." She looked around his room. "They didn't give you much room in here." She was just trying to make conversation and distract from the slight awkwardness at that point. She certainly hadn't expected him to take off his mask.
"I asked for a small room, and somewhere close to an elevator and Nunnaly's room. They obliged." He looked so tired to Kallen, and she shook her head a bit.
"We're so young. Both of us, and yet the world brought responsibility to us and made us grow up faster. Nunnaly is barely sixteen, and you just turned nineteen. I'm only nineteen myself, but you have already had to… Well, we've both had to do things nobody our age should be faced with." She looked away from his face, her face growing red at what she had said. She wasn't embarrassed per se, but she felt that the words were probably something that had been on his mind. When she looked away, she spotted a few more Zero helmets and costumes in his closet.
Looking to change the subject, she pointed at them. "Why so many?"
"So when one of them is being washed, I have another to wear." He laughed a little at the 'duh' look on her face.
"And, some of them have different properties. Some are better for dealing with heat or battle or cold. Lelouch commissioned them…" he trailed off, his throat feeling like it had closed up. He was caught off guard when Kallen picked up that helmet.
She held it, with tears in her eyes. "He… This… It…" She felt like she had been punched. She held it close to her chest, and avoided looking directly at it or at Suzaku. They both sat in silence for a while after that.
(Line break)
Once Kallen had left, Suzaku picked up the helmet from where it had rolled from Kallen's hands. Staring at it, he felt so helpless. The bloody handprint seemed to be accusing him. The smear was almost a loving caress that reminded Suzaku so much of his dying friend's words. His punishment; his promise. He was tempted to clean the helmet of the stain, but only for a moment. Wrapping it in a clean towel, he set it in the back of the closet, planning on doing something more meaningful with it once he had the chance. That was the only momento he had left from Lelouch, even if in an indirect way, and he refused to erase it. Maybe later he would regret it, but he thought not.
(Line Break)
Nunnaly remembered that when she had been growing up. Lelouch had been the center of her world… of her entire existence.
When he had betrayed her, her hatred for him had burned her, like a fire consuming anything kind in her. His death had frozen that fire, and the realization of why had shattered her heart. Suzaku helped her past that first night of tears and the shards of her heart putting her in so much pain. The only thing that hurt worse was how much she hated herself for being able to hate him, and for losing faith in him.
Becoming stronger was the best thing she could think to do to be less helpless. Already her arms were gaining some muscle tone, and she was losing a little of the baby fat in her face. Suzaku even helped her a little bit when she told him what she wanted to do. A few times, they had tried getting her on her feet. She could move her legs, but they were unable to support her. Her frustration was only kept at bay by the quiet strength Suzaku offered. People probably didn't realize how much time they spent together.
When he came into her room, she smiled at him as he removed his helmet. "How was your day?"
Suzaku sat heavily on the couch in her room, and rubbed his head tiredly. "I'm still the leader of the Black Knights, even if not in name. Ohgi can't do it by himself."
Nunnaly stiffened, and then slumped slightly. "Well, that'll make things more difficult. I promised that you would only have limited contact with the Black Knights so they wouldn't be associated with any single country. Not much to do about it though."
Suzaku nodded, glad she understood. "So, what do you want to work on tonight? If I hold your legs and knees straight, you can do pushups." So they went about the task, working past the grief that they both felt.
(Line break)
The man stared horrified at Lelouch, and he was starting to panic. He had tried to Geass the man, but it hadn't worked. At some point during his use of Geass when he was taking over the empire, he had used it on this man before. Feeling helpless, he pulled out his gun just as the man was about to start yelling, and shot him dead.
He had recognized Lelouch. Not as Alex, but as the Demon Emperor. After the gunshot rang out, Lelouch began running. He knew where C.C. worked, and he had to get there. Someone had probably seen him shoot the man. Someone would be able to spot him in a lineup. He made sure the gun was still with him, because leaving behind the weapon when it had his fingerprints on it was probably the dumbest thing he could possible do. He was barely aware of the burning in his lungs, or the pain in his calves.
When he got to the address he had memorized, he had to pause. Not only because of how tired he was, but also because of the sheer gaudiness of the place. He could see bright flashing lights promising live maids, and pictures of maids bending over to pick up things they'd "dropped" so that their panties were exposed. Once he had caught his breath and overcome his revulsion, he walked in, trying to be casual.
C.C. was dancing on the stage near the back of the place, so she didn't spot him immediately and he ended up with another one of the maids at first. She flirted with him like something crazy, and he stuffed some bills in her cleavage, his face turning all sorts of red. Once C.C. had spotted him, she politely shooed her friend away, and took in the panic on his face.
"What happened?"
"I was recognized." He said, keeping his voice low. "Geass didn't work, so he's gone."
"Let's go. Someone will have seen. We need to move on anyway." And with that, she picked up and walked to the back of the store. She had quit and gotten a bonus check somehow, so they both hurried home on the bike, C.C. riding on the handlebars as Lelouch pedaled like a madman to get them back to the apartment.
They began packing anything that belonged to them, and were cleared out in less than a half an hour. Most of the things in the apartment had already been there anyway.
(Line break)
Nunnaly was panting a little bit, but she was determined.
"Nineteen, … come on Nunnaly, one more! Twenty! Good job! You could only do sixteen yesterday." Suzaku praised lightly.
Nunnaly nearly collapsed face first onto the ground, and Suzaku had to hold her up and slowly let her down. He then helped her into her wheelchair, and got her a towel to dry off the sweat on her face. She gave him a grateful smile.
"Thank you for helping me." She said honestly. He could tell immediately that she didn't mean only with exercising.
"You're helping me too, believe it or not. It's hard for me too." He said almost too softly to be heard.
"I know." And she did. She dealt with her self-hatred for never believing in Lelouch. He held his self-hatred for having to believe in Lelouch. They were both damaged merchandise in their own way.
"I kind of know why, but I want you to explain it to me. Explain Zero Requiem to me in a way that makes my silly 16-year-old-girl conscience feel better." Nunnaly was almost pleading. Suzaku was brought up short, but only for a second.
"Well, it was a hard decision for me to accept, but once the choice was made, I only had to walk the path that had been set. Lelouch at first was only trying to make the world a better place for you, but his goals got bigger the more opportunity he saw. He also saw that by making the world better for everyone, it was making it better for you in the long run. In the World of C, we met both of your parents and they tried to stop time. They planned on not only halting the passage of time, but also making the past irrelevant. We managed to stop them, and when that was decided, so was Zero Requiem." He sighed.
"It has only just been started though. There's still a long way to go, and the future has yet to be decided, but at least there is a future to look forward to."
Nunnaly nodded, looking pensive. "I'd figured that much out from Lelouch's memories, but hearing it from you gives it a different perspective." She reached out to Suzaku to give him a hug. "Good night, and thank you."
Suzaku leaned forward, and hugged her. As he was pulling away, Nunnaly pressed her lips against his, and threw her arms around his neck. He froze for a moment, before leaning in and kissing her back. It took him a full minute to conjure up enough resolve to pull away. When he did, they were both breathing hard. He looked her in the eyes for a moment, and then turned, replaced his helmet, and walked out of the room.
Nothing needed to be said.
A/N: Review. No joke. Just do it. I have the next chapter done already. Posted 4/6/11 at 18:00 PST
